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Blatant Homerism

Vikings WR Jerome Simpson relieved to be free of the clutches of the ‘Iron Pimp’

And no, the “Iron Pimp” is not a nattily attired version of filmdom’s Iron Giant, sipping out of jewel-encrusted goblet while wearing a fedora and fur coat. In this instance, it is how the vending machine was referred to by Jerome Simpson during his recent 15-day stint in a Kentucky jail after the Minnesota Vikings receiver pleaded guilty to a felony drug charge in March.

The jail food was so terrible according to Simpson that the foodstuffs located in the “Iron Pimp” was his sole means of sustenance, especially the packages of Cheetos, which turned out to be Simpson’s favorite item. The food in jail was so bad, in fact, that the first thing the wide receiver did upon his release was to head to a steakhouse for a big and juice t-bone.

 Simpson made headlines twice last season, one for an otherworldly play on the field and the other for his boneheaded decisions off of it. The former being of course a stupendous, gravity-defying play when he did a complete front flip over a defender before landing in the end zone while a member of the Cincinnati Bengals and the latter for his arrest after police intercepted a shipment of 2.5 pounds of marijuana that was designated for delivery to his home.

But all that is in the past, says Simpson, as the receiver is only looking to the future, hoping to clear his name and leave all the troubles behind him:

 “That part of my life is out of my life. You can take things for granted when you’re a person that’s free, but now that I’ve kind of had my freedom taken away from me, it’s not a good experience.”

Unfortunately, however bad Simpson wants to move on with his life, he still has to serve a 3-game suspension at the beginning of the season for his off-the-field mistake, but even that setback will not prevent Simpson from moving forward: “I’m just trying to make ordinary things extraordinary,” said Simpson. “Let the Jerome Simpson come out of me.”

And no more Iron Pimp.

[Pioneer Press]