On June 8, the UEFA European Football Championships will kick off in Poland and continue through July 1 in both Poland and the Ukraine. In light of the randy — and apparently very casual and irresponsible — nature of European soccer fans’ sexual practices, Polish officials will be distributing 150,000 condoms with leaflets on the use of condoms in the tourney’s many so-called “fan zones.”
The program, known as as “Fair Play,” advocates safe sex practices and the leaflets that will be given out along with the condoms will alert fans of the health hazards of casual sex, such as AIDS and other diseases, according to Deputy Health Minister Aleksander Soplinski.
The leaflets will be printed in six languages — Polish, Ukrainian, Russian, English, German and Spanish — and will advise on the proper use of condoms, although it is unclear how specific or explicit these leaflets will be, irrespective of the language in which they are printed on. Because if Larry David can ignorantly put on a numbing condom inside out, I can only imagine what a drunken soccer hooligan is capable of doing wrong.