Here’s what happens in this delightfully and painfully hilarious video: while taking in a Rays game at Tropicana Field, Mr. No Depth Perception terribly misses catching a home run ball — or was he trying to protect himself? — hit by longtime Detroit Tigers fan favorite and new Oakland Athletics infielder Brandon Inge. By whiffing on at least knocking down the ball (if not missing the catch entirely), the downward trajectory of the ball carries it right into the guy’s crotchal region.
If that wasn’t bad enough, the ball then caroms off Mr. No Depth Perception’s midsection and straight to his right…directly into and then ricocheting off some gal’s face. It was like Brandon Inge was playing Home Run Pinball and these two Tampa Bay Rays fans were unwitting — and now, perhaps bruised — human bumpers.
Well played, Mr. Inge. You sure play a mean pinball. On the other hand, Mr. No Depth Perception Rays Fan Guy: a woefully miserable performance, sir. Hopefully, that gal wasn’t his girlfriend, because if she was, he has a lot of explaining to do.
On the other hand, let’s say for the moment that these two were strangers before their shared experience and somehow, this unfortunate incident will lead to love and perhaps marriage and kids. If so, it’s not too often that parents, when asked by their children how they met, can tell their kids it all started when a ball flew out of dad’s crotch and smacked mom right in the face. Which, when you think about it, is a very, very good thing on many, many levels.
UPDATE: Courtesy of the Zapruder Film-like analysis by @ACMESalesRep, it appears the ball caroms off the butt of the girl in the blue shirt prior to the ball hitting the guy in the junk, so the “Mr. No Depth Perception” references are not at all accurate. I apologize if I erroneously bruised this guy’s ego in any way. He already has other bruising issues to adfress.
[H/T Game On!]