Archive for December, 2011
Oh dear. And by “certainly provocative,” I of course mean putting a young boy in a Penn State-esque uniform and surround him in a protective enclosure constructed via a couple of posts and some chicken wire and then adding the words “HANDS OFF” in bold, block lettering was an interesting choice.
Whatever you think of the cover, there is no arguing that some, um, interesting choices were made when deciding upon the imagery the ad wizards who came up with this one chose to employ.
And just in case you would like the cover of ESPN The Magazine‘s “Year In Sports” issue prominently displayed on your coffee table this holiday season, the issue hits newsstands Friday.
[via]
This young man had sweet seats for the New Jersey Devils-Montreal Canadiens tilt last Saturday night. Unfortunately for this passionate Devils fan, his beloved squad ended up on the short end of the stick as the Devils lost to the Habs 2-1. And as fans are wont to do when seated near the glass, this kid knew he was in prime position to make his feelings known regarding what was occurring on the ice right there in front of him, as he proceeded to flip off Canadiens defenseman Hal Gil. And while the kid’s gestural indicator of his attitude toward the Montreal team is hilarious, the snort by the guy recording what transpired at the onset of the video is amusing as well.
Hey, gotta support the team, right?
[via BuzzFeed]
Haha. In case you missed it, a photo (originally uploaded to Twitter by New England Patriots punter Zoltan Mesko) has been making its way around the interwebs featuring Mesko, Pats running back Danny Woodhead and 7’7″ tall former NBA star Gheorghe Muresan posing for a pic together. Obviously, the incredible height disparity between Woodhead and Muresan — who is known as the tallest player in NBA history — makes for an amusing image, and here’s what Woohead had to say about meeting the enormous man (via NESN):
“It was cool,” Woodhead said with a wide grin. “Anytime you can meet someone else, it’s a cool deal.”
Yeah, I always enjoy meeting someone else, too. It reminds me I’m not alone in the world.
Woodhead, who is generously listed as being 5’8″, continued, playing it straight regarding the height differential:
“Just like talking to anyone else,” Woodhead said. “It’s nothing different. It was just meeting some other guy, and that’s how it was.”
Like meeting some other guy? Like meeting some other guy? While I agree with Woodhead that the differences in height is nothing to make a huge deal about, the fact that he so casually waves off the fact that he was rubbing elbows — well, rubbing elbows and knees to turn the phrase for accuracy — with a guy who starred in My Giant with Billy-freaking-Crystal? The man behind such classic “Guy’s guy” films like Forget Paris and When Harry Met Sally? That, my good friends, that kind of affront to Hollywood royalty is something I cannot and will not tolerate. Knock it off, Danny Woodhead. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.
After reading about the intense offseason workouts Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano is putting himself through down in Venezuela as he prepares to come into spring training hellbent on rebuilding the tattered reputation he has been recklessly destroying through years of volatile and all-out goofy behavior, it sure sounds like “Big Z” derived inspiration for his conditioning regiment by watching the movies Rocky III and Rocky IV.
To wit, here’s what Zambrano had to say Monday while participating in the Venezuelan winter league’s annual home run derby (via the Chicago Tribune):
“I’m preparing like when I was a rookie, climbing mountains, running on the beach, and exercising hard so that I can arrive at spring training in optimal shape,” Zambrano told Joiner Martinez at Líder en Deportes, according to a report on MLBTradeRumors.com. “I want to stay in Chicago for the two seasons I still have with the team. I’m not a coward who would take the back door out of the majors.”
Awesome. Sure sounds like his workouts would fit perfectly into a 1980s training montage. A couple of questions, though: what song is playing in Zambrano’s head during training? “Gonna Fly Now” from Rocky III‘s beach running montage or is it John Cafferty’s “Hearts on Fire” from the Rocky IV soundtrack?
Finally, when Zambrano finally does reach that mountain top, what does he yell? My guess is it’s “THEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO!!!!” That would work.
Sigh.
Take my gift, please! Reilly’s joke on Twitter is so gosh-darned hi-larious because, you know, the alleged manner in which Jeter sends off his sexual conquests with Derek Jeter memorabilia after a night at his apartment is kind of like how Antonio Cromartie has impregnated a lot of women, but you know, different. Sigh, again.
Now all we have to do to tie this weak zinger into a neat little bow is find an occurrence where Rick Reilly used almost the exact same joke. It probably had something to do with a Tooth Fairy-Antonio Cromartie joke if I know Rick Reilly like I think I do.
Whether you believe this unbelievable touchdown (via Prep Rally) was more the result of shoddy, halfhearted tackling effort by what seems to be every player on defense or a brute and unyielding display of sheer determination put forth by the young man carrying the ball, you cannot argue that the results are amazingly impressive.
During Jones (Okla.) High’s Oklahoma Class 2A Football State Championship Game match-up with Hennessey, wide receiver Tyler Sebolt seemingly breaks about 50 tackles as he bowls his way in for a touchdown. After snatching a pass from quarterback Michael Lowe, Sebolt is almost immediately wrapped up by two Hennessey defenders, only to shake them loose. By that time, three other defenders surround Sebolt, but the young man will not be denied. Shredding them with far too much ease then should be possible, Sebolt eludes a couple more would-be tacklers before scampering into the end zone for a miraculous and unlikely score.
Sadly for Sebolt and his teammates, it was the only score they would put up on the board, as Jones High ultimately lost to Hennessey by a score of 21-7. But each member of the squad will have a story to tell for years to come about the incredible play they saw their teammate make.
Gingrich, Paul, Perry, Romney…Tebow?
According to this tweet from Public Policy Polling (via @thinkprogress) Tim Tebow enjoys “a better net favorability with Iowa Republicans than any of the Presidential candidates.” Well why wouldn’t he?
Now, Public Policy Polling doesn’t back up its assertion with any presentation of hard data and it is certainly possible that they are simply making a rather outrageous joke — although I doubt an organization like the Public Policy Polling would engage in such hijinks. Further, the way Tebowmania has captured the nation by storm, the possibility that the statement is true isn’t that far out of the realm of possibility.
With that in mind, there’s only one thing left to add:
TEBOW FOR PRESIDENT IN 2016??? YES HE CAN!!!
Think about it: by the time he would have to put his NFL career on hold to begin his campaign for nomination, in all likelihood, Tim Tebow will already have delivered at least three Super Bowl championships to the Denver Broncos, right? Don’t doubt him. Don’t ever doubt him. If you haven’t realized it by now, lack of faith in what he can accomplish only inspires Tebow and makes him stronger.
This all occurred a few weeks ago, but it’s the first time I have seen it reported on, so there you go. Also: Kate Upton. Duh.
According to a report from the New York Daily News, New York Rangers pest Sean Avery got into a bit of a Twitter back and forth with gorgeous supermodel Kate Upton after she attended a Rangers game at Madison Square Garden on Nov. 29. The following day, Upton received this message from Avery on Twitter:
@KateUpton since u couldn’t stop looking @HLundqvist30 last night now u can follow him…….#sorryhesmarried
Uh, zing? The fact that tweets from Sean Avery’s Twitter account (@iamseanavery) are protected may be part of the reason why this story took two weeks to surface, although I’m surprised no one noticed Upton’s brilliantly snarky response to the hockey player’s barb on Dec. 1:
@imseanavery Weren’t you supposed to be focusing on a game?…at least we all agree I wasn’t staring at you.
ZING! Sean Avery, you sir, just got served. Brilliant Twitter smack talk work by Miss Kate Upton. Talk about an ultimate burn. There have been no indications that Avery attempted a witty retort to Upton’s superb comeback, but it’s probably for the best that he didn’t even bother. The gal is out of his league, in more ways than one.
The New England Patriots held their 18th Annual Patriots Children’s Holiday Party and as you can see, teammates Tom Brady and Wes Welker had a great time taking part in some kind of game where they had to catch marshmallows in the top hats sitting atop their head. Only Tom Brady can make something as absurdly silly as catching marshmallows in a top hat even more absurdly silly simply due to the unfortunate way he tends to be captured by photography. Not as silly as him gleefully going down a waterslide or celebrating a putt while on the golf course, sure, but absurdly silly nonetheless.
But hey, it was all for a great cause and chock-full of holiday spirit, something I am sure the more than 300 children who attended the event on Tuesday, which is put on every year and sponsored by the New England Patriots Charitable Foundation and held at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough.
Additional photos, including a couple of the apparent highlight of the event, “Wrap-a-Pat,” which featured none other than Tom Brady getting gift-wrapped by kids, follow.
Holy moly, the outfit the lovely and talented (and attention-seeking, apparently) Hannah Storm was sporting a pretty interesting outfit during Wednesday morning’s edition of SportsCenter. And by interesting, I mean terrible, bordering on slightly inappropriate. What’s up with the blouse? Certainly not the kind of top one expects to see from woman attempting to come off a serious journalist. Add the “These Boots Are Made For Walking” footwear, and it’s all too much, too over-the-top.
But who cares what I think? What say you, Tony Kornheiser’s High School Yearbook Photo?
This is Marshall Coleman. He is a huge Orlando Magic fan. After emerging from surgery to get his wisdom teeth removed and in a slightly drug-induced stupor and sounding somewhat like Mushmouth from Fat Albert, all he apparently wanted to discuss was Dwight Howard’s imminent departure from his beloved team. Among the things young Marshall had to say about the situation: he loves Dwight Howard — a lot. So much so, in fact, that after Marshall gets married in August (?) and after doing so, he and his wife are going to “adopt Dwight Howard as my first child.” Also: Dwight Howard is “the best basketball player in the seven-foot race,” although I’m not sure we should really hold him accountable for that statement. The kid is loosey-goosey, people.
Towards the end of the video, Marshall says he wants to give Dwight Howard a hug — beat him in H-O-R-S-E, too, but mainly a hug. If he could, Marshall would say the following to the Magic center: “Good luck, man. Jesus loves you…and I love you too, man.”
And in the end, Marshall realizes that Howard can go wherever he wants, just so long as “God leads him there…because he’s such a good guy…such a good guy.”
Oh, one last nugget: during the ride home, he announces that he loves “Bhhhinnghhh Crawwwsby!” Awesome. “David After Dentist” doesn’t have anything on Marshall Coleman. At least Marshall has a message.
[H/T Ball Don't Lie]
Ouch. That’s awkward. You see, it is reasonable to assume that Vancouver goalie Roberto Luongo is wearing a t-shirt that reads “Canucks” during a post-game session with reporters, but the inconvenient placement of one of the reporter’s microphones is partly obscuring the team’s name on the netminder’s shirt so that the “CAN” part in “CANUCKS” is blocked and all we can see is a capital “S” on the side of the microphone in those three letters’ place. And what’s that cause Luongo’s shirt look like it reads? SUCKS. And the sad confluence of events which caused this image came immediately after Luongo surrendered goals on all three attempts by the Blue Jackets during the shootout in Vancouver’s 2-1 loss to the Columbus.
That ain’t right, man. Even the placement of microphones are conspiring with Canucks fans to get the team to trade this guy.
[H/T Deadspin]
"To quote Emeril, 'BAM!'"
Paul Flannery of WEEI just passed along via his Twitter account easily the most nonsensical quote of the day — perhaps of the week, nay, the season — from the NBA. Here’s Kevin Garnett of the Boston Celtics not-so-succinctly explaining how chemistry isn’t just cooked up in a frying pan and then thrown in a tortilla…yeah. I believe KG is referring to team chemistry, but even if he is, I would advise Doc Rivers and the entire Boston Celtics organization to keep the guy away from all Bunsen burners. And frying pans, for that matter.
Read on (via SB Nation):
“Chemistry is something that you don’t just throw in a frying pan and mix it up with another something and throw something on top of that and then fry it up and put in a tortilla and put it in microwave, heat it up, give it to you and expect it to taste good. You know? If y’all don’t know what I’m talking about then you can’t cook and this doesn’t concern you.”
Wait. What? I hate to beg to differ with the Big Ticket, but I can cook and I still don’t know what in the heck he’s talking about. Why would you take the time to fry something up to presumably get it all crispy and tasty only to have the dish that you mixed up with another something that you threw something on top of that only for it to get all soggy by putting it in the microwave? Further, what does any of this have to do with chemistry? I’m confused. Thankfully, KG has informed us that it doesn’t concern those who don’t know what he’s talking about, so that’s nice. But simply knowing that has not helped get rid of the headache I now have from reading that quote.
Would you get a look at that yearbook photo? Awesome. All I know is it’s a huge relief I never became famous and people actually sought out my yearbook photos. There is absolutely no need for any photos of me when I was going through “The Cure phase” from my adolescence to surface.
Okay, okay, I never went through anything like “The Cure” goth phase — at least in appearance (what can I say, I was a sensitive teenager) — but still, my yearbook photos which document quite adequately that I too went through the awkward stages that everyone experiences during their teenage years are not something that I would prefer to be seen by the masses. At the same time, in Rodgers’ case, when you are a Super Bowl champion and soon-to-be NFL MVP, who gives a rip what anyone thinks of your stinking yearbook photos? I suppose that’s what makes these photos when they do see the light of day so amusing. I’m sure Tony Romo agrees.
[H/T Terez Owens]
During Monday’s media day session, the Miami Heat had LeBron James pose for photos while wearing the team’s all-new, all-black alternate jersey, and I must admit they are pretty snazzy if I do say so myself. In a way, it’s another big step in the transformation of the Miami Heat into the villains of the NBA, as one’s thoughts cannot help but turn to the original villains of the NFL — the Oakland Raiders — while looking at the new unis.
[via]
