Archive for December, 2011
Well, this is certainly interesting. Legendary comedian Bill Cosby is a huge fan of Tim Tebow. Apparently, Cosby will be in Denver to perform on March 31st, and while he doesn’t know what the weather will be like on that particular date, but according to the thoughts conjured courtesy of Cosby’s, um, shall we say, intriguing mental state, he suggests that someone — I’m not quite sure who is speaking to, if anyone at all — should call Tim Tebow and ask him for a great day. Uh, meteorologically-speaking, I guess. Because, you know, Tim Tebow can control the elements.
Mentioning Tebow also reminded Cosby that he likes the way “that team plays FOOT—-ball.” Cosby adds that “all these people that don’t understand it?” (he phrases it like a question), those people should “come on, beat ‘em, because it’s FOOT—-Ball…Boom Boom.”
Also from Cosby: all those who doubt Tim Tebow should watch “ollllld films of Joe Kapp…Minnesota Vikings. FOOT–ball player.”
Mind-blowing stuff. Brilliant in its unhinged, dementia-laden simplicity.
It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror…Horror has a face…and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies!
The horror…the horror.
[H/T Barstool Sports via Bob's Blitz]
NMA World Edition, the fine folks behind the bevy of Taiwanese animation videos that consistently delight, amaze and astound us, have released the above video featuring the lovely Li Ann playing some kind of spinoff of the video game NBA 2K12, but in this version, gamers are afforded the opportunity to “do activities as the players would do during the lockout!” For instance, Carmelo Anthony cooks french fries, LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki hang out at a strip club and make it rain and Kris Humphries crying over his wedding album.
Given that the NBA lockout is over, this video isn’t timely in any sense of the word, but hey, look: Li Ann is mighty purty, and that’s good enough for me. She’s quite talented.
Yay! Friday has finally arrived, so you know what that means! Presumably because you read the title of this here post and are able to process information contained in a series of words. Yeah.
It was a red letter day Wednesday — and she sported a nifty red dress for a little synergy to boot — for Miss Arianny Celeste as she took home the Ring Girl of the Year award at the 4th Annual Fighters Only World MMA Awards in Las Vegas. Congratulations to Miss Celeste and condolences to her fellow nominees. As if they stood a chance.
I have supplemented some of the photos that Miss Celeste uploaded from the week with some red carpet — once again, synergy — pics for your enjoyment. So, uh, enjoy.
Alrighty then. Sometimes (Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide). Oops. Starting over. Sometimes, there really isn’t much you can say when confronted with something like this comes along, given the bizarre and off-the-wall nature of it all. Just take it in, process it and allow it to go ahead and perplex and confound you for the rest of the day.
And here I sit not even knowing today was Britney’s birthday. Do I have egg on my face of what?
[via]
Now, I like Bubba Watson just as much as the next guy. For one thing, he does not have the stodgy, humorless personality one typically associates with pro golfers, as shown by his membership in the Golf Boys and their hilarious send-up of boy bands, the song and accompanying video for “Oh Oh Oh.” There is also the goofy videos he routinely uploads to the interwebs (examples of such here and here), not to mention that he once went golfing with Justin Bieber. All in all, he makes a compelling case that he is the hippest, most laid-back golfer on the PGA Tour, or at least one with the best sense of humor.
With that said, despite being a huge fan of the guy, to get a tattoo of him on your leg, as some die-hard Bubba backer did? That’s pushing the boundaries of normalcy and good sense. To make matters worse, upon closer inspection, you will notice that Tattoo Bubba is holding a right-handed Ping driver in his hand. The problem is: Bubba is left-handed and would have little use for a right-handed driver. DERP! indeed.
On the other hand (no pun intended), there is video of Bubba Watson smashing 300-yard bombs off the tee at the Ping Pro Facility with a right-handed driver. Perhaps that is where this tattoo-happy Bubba fan derived his inspiration for the ink. Somehow, I doubt it, but you never know. With all that in mind, I give Tattoo Bubba Watson and the guy who has this on his leg an epic fail. Sorry, but it has to be done.
[Grazie, Devil Ball Golf]
Evidently, sweets can soothe the savage beast (mode). Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch had a monster performance (22 rushes, 148 yards, 2 touchdowns) during Thursday night’s 31-14 thrashing of the Philadelphia Eagles, but what drew the most attention was the unique way Lynch chose to refuel after scoring a touchdown: by munching on Skittles provided by a trainer. During the broadcast, it was reported that the tradition goes back to his younger days when his mother would give him Skittles after every touchdown he scored, and it looks like he has maintained the sweet habit.
Video follows.
I cannot do justice in words Aaron Rodgers’ description of the disturbing manner in which Detroit Lions defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch likes to say things to the Green Bay Packers QB while Vanden Bosch has Rodgers pinned to the ground, so just have a listen to what Rodgers had to say during an appearance on a Green Bay radio station. But to ease your troubled minds, I will offer up this nugget: there is no mention of anything related to telling Rodgers to squeal like a pig or anything like that. Which is good.
[H/T Sports Grid]
There was a gaggle of videos during the lockout featuring LeBron James dunking on and otherwise putting youngsters to shame on the basketball court so I lost track, but this video of Chris Paul absolutely smoking an 8th grader on the court is right up there with the exploits of King James.
According to Five-Star Basketball (via The Basketball Jones), the 8th grader in question is the New York Gauchos’ Mustapha Heron, a highly-touted prospect and it went down on Tuesday night at LIU-Brooklyn’s campus.
In my opinion, Heron gave a good accounting of his skills against CP3: nice defensive stance, posturing and aggressiveness. Unfortunately for the kid, Paul’s ball-handling skills ultimately proved to be too much for the young man, as Paul eventually — after toying with Heron for a while — scores on an easy layup. Sure, it sucks to get shown up, but then again, how often does a kid get a chance to square up against CP3?
Ukranian women took to the streets outside Olympic Stadium in Kiev, cast off their tops and protested their ever-loving bare chests out for what they insist is a plot by Uefa — European soccer’s governing body — to legalize prostitution during Euro 12, a tournament pitting 16 European national teams against one another which will be held in June and July next summer and hosted by Ukraine and Poland.
Via a report from The Guardian:
A Femen spokeswoman, Inna Shevchenko, said Uefa was “trying to influence our government” to legalise prostitution during the tournament, which will take place in June and July next summer. Uefa will hold the draw for the finals in Kiev on Friday.
Kiev police arrived at the gates of the downtown stadium five minutes later and the women were dragged into a police vehicle and driven away.
Femen has established an international reputation for staging semi-naked protests in Ukraine and abroad.
So, to protest the group’s perception that Uefa might be attempting to legalize prostitution, members of Femen take their tops off? Confusing, but then again, the concept of irony has been lost on me ever since Alanis Morissette and that song. You know the one, “Head over Feet.”
Daniel Rago, a 52-year-old man and self-described Bears fan who “loves Devin Hester” who smacked the Chicago Bears wide receiver in a Chicago-area casino after he believed Hester cut in line has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery. Rago will serve no jail time, but was sentenced to one-year of court supervision. Rago also must perform 80 hours of community service as well as complete an anger management evaluation. Sounds fair.
As you may recall, Rago, in my opinion, fancied himself a champion of the elderly and a defender of line etiquette after he thought Hester cut in line in front of two elderly women at a Des Plaines casino in October. Rago later said his “parental instincts” took over as he proceeded to slap Hester.
But it appears that by pleading guilty, Rago has legally expressed remorse for his actions and can put this ugly incident behind him and get on with his life, although the comments made by his attorney following the hearing are a bit curious, or at the very least, somewhat amusing:
“He smacked someone he shouldn’t have,” attorney Frank Kostouros said of his client Daniel Rago, of Mount Prospect, after the court hearing in Skokie. “He’s been sorry from Day One for what happened. … He feels terrible about it.”
To be honest, I’m not certain whether or not an inanimate object can actually refuse to move as if it is some kind of sentient being with the capacity to determine whether it should stay or should it go (props to The Clash), but you know what I mean.
The shot in question was from the 2011 State Farm Tournament of Champions over Thanksgiving weekend and was attempted by senior Keith Carter during a game between his Proviso (Ill.) East High squad and the fellas from Montgomery (Ala.) Carver High. Normally, as pointed out by Prep Rally, when a ball usually ends up in this position, it is generally wedged between the rim and the backboard, but that is not the case with this basketball balancing act. The ball is just sitting there, taking in the scenery and not giving a care to the fact that it is delaying the game and not doing what it is supposed to do.
Oops. Once again, we are in the precarious position of anthropomorphizing an object. But what if basketball were imbued with free will and some semblance of consciousness? Now that’s something worthy trying to wrap your brain around. Or not. But if it were somehow possible, imagine the consequences of that development. Would it be ethical to bounce these beings off the floor and throw them around for our enjoyment? Crazy stuff.
During the NASCAR “After the Lap” event in Vegas — a part of championship week which culminates with the championship banquet that the Las Vegas Sun referred to as a “press conference on steroids” due to the freewheeling, no-holds-barred nature of the scene that creates an environment where the drivers can feel completely uninhibited — Jeff Gordon seized the opportunity — after being goaded by fans into it with chants of “Gordon, Gordon, Gordon” — and thrilled the crowd with some break dancing at center stage. It was all spawned by Jimmie Johnson spinning a yarn about how Gordon used to break it down from time to time.
As a break dancer in my earlier days — and I have the parachute pants to prove it — I’ll give Gordon high marks for his skills, but the choice of “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin for the music? Come on. The Beastie Boys were suggested, which would have been fine, but for my money, you have to go with some Fat Boys or maybe the Beat Street soundtrack, not to mention the need for a decent-sized piece of cardboard. But for an impromptu break dancing demonstration, it was all good.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! GAH! GET MY MY HOLY WATER!
Sweet Fancy Satan, people. Denver Nuggets star Chris Andersen doesn’t need some coach to help him with his low post game, he needs a freaking exorcist. That is one devilish beard, kids. At the same time, imagine the fact that Andersen would never need to make a no-look pass. What with the ability to rotate his head 360°.
We mentioned Birdman’s recent partnership with PETA on Thursday to raise awareness regarding the barbaric treatment of animals within the Chinese fur industry. I say PETA just sends Birdman over there to unleash unholy hell upon them. Couldn’t hurt.
[via @denvernuggets]
We all knew this was coming: the Taiwanese Animation Treatment updating the abject stupidity of the recent developments in the Kris Humphries-Kim Kardashian split saga. Oh, he also jumps into an egg-shaped time machine that resembles the spaceship Mork (“Nanu-Nanu”) used to travel from Ork in order to go back in time to the date of the couple’s doomed wedding in order to wreak violent havoc upon everyone in attendance courtesy of arming himself with a flamethower. Fantastic.
So many amusing images populate NMA World Edition’s report on the debacle, it’s hard to pick a favorite: Kim, in her wedding dress, with each buttock resembling a wedding cake. But we have to go with the way the allegation that Humphries has an affinity for farting on girls is depicted: while noxious, yellow fumes are escaping from under the covers, Kris grabs an ex-girlfriend’s head and shoves it underneath the sheets for a perfectly-executed Dutch Oven has to be the topper.
Silly? Yes. Absurd? Absolutely. No more silly and absurd than the entire ordeal? Definitely not. And hey, I’d rather watch these animated reports as opposed to reading Star‘s reporting on it.
