Archive for November, 2011
Like a whirling dervish, Jim Harbaugh has unleashed his passion for the game of football on his players and has undoubtedly immediately changed the culture of the entire San Francisco 49ers organization. One need look no further than his frenetic, slap-happy, midfield interaction with Detroit Lions head coach Jim Schwartz a few weeks ago to illustrate his intensity for the game.
Well, Harbaugh has one-upped himself with something he said recently regarding a particular play (see here) made by 49ers linebacker Ahmad Brooks last Sunday when Brooks, despite losing his helmet, nevertheless maintained his relentless pursuit of Cleveland Browns quarterback Colt McCoy. His sticktoitiveness (my favorite non-word) resulted in a fumble-causing sack, not to mention a slightly-bloodied face, something which obviously impressed Harbaugh, in light of what he said he wished Brooks had done after coming to the sideline (via Shutdown Corner):
“Loved it, loved it,” Harbaugh told reporters of Brooks’ play. “Wish he could have come and wiped some of [his blood] on my cheek.”
Ohhhh-kay then. Now, it’s his life and and he can live it the way he wants, and if having one of his players smear blood on his face in some kind of team-building, war paint-styled, pseduo-blood covenant, well, Harbaugh can go right ahead and do that. I guess you can’t argue with the results elicited thus far courtesy of his slightly off-kilter antics.
Harbaugh wanted to wipe Brooks’ blood on his cheek [Shutdown Corner]
See, because they come in the traditional colors of Christmas…
Red and green. The latest version of Nike’s LeBron Christmas-themed shoe are especially neat this year because they will be about as close anyone is likely to to get to NBA basketball on Christmas. Unless you find an officially-licensed NBA basketball under your Christmas tree. Or some other NBA-type gift. Like an NBA video game or some such stuff. Maybe an NBA player living in your town might need a place to crash on Christmas Eve because they have no money, are hungry and gave away all their packages of Ramen to trick or treaters on Halloween. Hey, it could happen. Unlikely, but you never know.
I guess what I’m getting at is there isn’t going to be any NBA games played on Christmas. I’d say “Bah, humbug” to that little fact, but to be honest, I couldn’t really give a rip. Bah, humbug, indeed.
[via The Basketball Jones]
Bubba Watson is no stranger to eccentric behavior. He is also not conservative about uploading demonstrations of said behavior to the interwebs. Of course, the first one that comes to mind is his membership in the Back Nine Boys and their brilliant video for their debut (and presumably, but hopefully not, only) song, “Oh Oh Oh.” He also uploaded a video of him putting in the aisle during a flight. Crap, the guy actually went golfing with Justin Bieber, of all people, and uploaded photos and a video.
With those examples in mind, his latest video where he takes out the old wooden stick which he purchased on eBay and proceeds to take a baseball-style whack at a golf ball before taking off his shirt and twirling around his head while galloping and uttering nonsense should not come as a surprise. In fact, it should be welcomed. We need more guys like this playing professional golf. You know, weirdos.
[via]
Wow, such shocking cartoon violence. I felt like I was watching an Itchy & Scratchy episode for a second there. Or at the very least, an especially brutal Tom & Jerry cartoon, but for the life of me, I cannot recall Jerry ever chopping off Tom’s paw with a butcher knife and then sinisterly waving the blade in the feline’s face as blood spurts out of the cat’s stump, as MLB commissioner Bud Selig does to Frank McCourt in this especially entertaining Taiwanese animation news treatment. The hand-chopping-off of course symbolizes Selig preventing McCourt from further pilfering money out of the Dodgers organization, which is represented by a cookie jar. Makes sense. But yowsers, what imagery. But from what I have learned, if gratuitous violence is symbolic of something, that makes it alright. Crazy.
Nevertheless, there is so much Taiwanese animation goodness going on in this latest installment. I mean, how many times have you started to get kissy-face with a network just to have some guy appear out of nowhere and beat you with a billy club? Okay, never, but you can imagine what it would be like if it ever happened.
And in the end of the video, is the Dodgers organization represented by a transvestite hooker? Well, I guess if the fishnets fit…
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• And apparently, despite the oddity of her disgusting, exhibitionist behavior, she broke no laws, so say officials in Portland, Oregon. She has no idea why people care, yet she decided to upload the photos to the internet, which caused the entire hullabaloo in the first place. [msnbc]
• Meet the man who is covered in Chicago Bears tattoos. [With Leather]
• Heartwarming: a wheelchair-bound kid with muscular dystrophy scored a touchdown during a high school football game. [Larry Brown Sports]
• New York Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey is planning to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro during the offseason. [Los That Sports Blog]
• Mickey Rourke thinks Redskins QB Rex Grossman is a “Train wreck with balls.” [Mr. Irrelevant]
• Watch video of a vulture taking out a paraglider. [Off the Bench]
• Serena Williams, frightened by a random drug tester showing up at her mansion, fled to her panic room. [Bob's Blitz]
• Here is how the Marlins’ retractable roof on the stadium will work. [Big League Stew]
• This photo story, “Best Buddies,” starring Phillip Rivers and Chris Johnson, is a hoot. [Midwest Sports Fans]
• Photos of MLB All-Stars taking shots of snake blood in Taiwan. [Busted Coverage]
• God explains why he let Tim Tebow fail. Excellent. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season
Be afraid, humans. Be very afraid, indeed.
Just earlier today, the Sportress reported on the strange goings-on at a high school football game in Arizona involving possible UFOs, now it appears that a completely different Alien Life Form (although not in POG form) was spotted during the Sunday Night Football matchup between the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts on Oct. 23.
Now, the nattering nabobs of negativity are already coming out in droves in their quest to dispel yet another UFO sighting, arguing that the streaks of light going from right to left in the video are likely nothing more than an insect passing close by the camera lens, but do not believe them. They are pawns in a global game of thought control and mind manipulation. As I mentioned in the post regarding the Arizona high school football game, that is what They want you to think. Do not surrender. Believe, and do not be afraid what people might think of you. Because before you know it, you’ll be the one abducted, finding yourself on a table in a strange place you do not recognize.
No, not inside a spaceship getting prepped for an awfully-intrusive examination by inquisitive visitors from other worlds. Nope, you’ll instead be in the observation room at your friendly neighborhood mental hospital. Duh.
[H/T Shutdown Corner]
Exciting stuff, no? Unfortunately, this story has nothing to do with the St. Louis slugger’s looming foray into free agency and whether or not he will remain a Cardinal. Nope, instead this has all to do with the unveiling of a 10-foot, 1,100 pound bronze statue outside his Pujols 5 restaurant which is located at West Port Plaza in St. Louis.
While Pujlos did speak briefly, he did not address what his plans are going forward as he embarks on what will likely be one of the most eagerly-anticipated free agency frenzies ever seen in Major League Baseball. But he did have one interesting quote regarding the pose his statue — which was commissioned by an anonymous donor and was created by the same sculptor who did the 10 player statues outside Busch Stadium — is taking (via stltoday.com):
Pujols told the crowd, 20-people deep in places, that he points “to remind me it’s not about me. It’s about Jesus Christ.”
Fair enough. And while that may be true that he is showing proper reverence to Jesus when the real Albert Pujols makes that gesture — and I must stress that I am no learned theologian — isn’t there something in the Ten Commandments regarding forming false idols or making graven images or some such thing? Methinks Jesus might be alright with it, but not the Old Testament God, for he is a jealous God, Al. Just saying*.
* I’m actually not “just saying.” I am actually kidding, so I expect to hear no back talk from overly-sensitive zealots who don’t get the joke.
Albert Pujols statue unveiled at West Port Plaza [stltoday.com]
Ouch, dude. Count this as a valuable lesson learned, folks. The glass along the ice is merely a buffer between you and the on-ice action, in this particular case a game between the Vancouver Canucks and the Calgary Flames. One second you’re carrying your $10 beer back to your seat, the next thing you know, the glass is moved by the sheer force of an NHL check and, uh, you’re left deciding whether or not you’re willing to spend $10 on another beer. Quite the conundrum.
[H/T Puck Daddy]
If you thought Shaquille O’Neal’s bridge-burning — otherwise known as his upcoming biography, Shaq Uncut: My Story — began and ended with Kobe Bryant, think again. LeBron James is also a target of Shaq’s tell-all.
In an excerpt from the book obtained by Hoops World, Shaq discusses the preferential treatment LeBron received when the two were teammates with the Cleveland Cavaliers:
LeBron was a huge star. He was as big as I was in 2000 in L.A. when I was dominating the league. … Our coach, Mike Brown, was a nice guy, but he had to live on edge because nobody was supposed to be confrontational with LeBron. Nobody wanted him to leave Cleveland, so he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to do.
I remember one day in a film session LeBron didn’t get back on defense after a missed shot. Mike Brown didn’t say anything about it. He went to the next clip and it was Mo Williams not getting back and Mike was saying, “Yo, Mo, we can’t have that. You’ve got to hustle a little more.” So Delonte West is sitting there and he’s seen enough and he stands up and says, “Hold up, now. You can’t be pussyfooting around like that. Everyone has to be accountable for what they do, not just some us.” Mike Brown said, “I know, Delonte. I know.” Mike knew Delonte was right. …
I’m not sure if Kobe is going to listen to Mike Brown. LeBron never really did. Here’s what we do know: Kobe will definitely be in charge.
Ouch. One question: what other juicy stuff hasn’t been excerpted already from the book? If this is merely a taste, there’s no telling what kind of bombshells remain. Hopefully, the publishers saved some of the best material for the official release on Nov. 15.
NBA AM: Shaq Dishes on Kobe, LeBron [Hoops World]
In the Florida Panhandle Senior Olympics, the performance-enhancing drugs that competitors most frequently test positive for include, but are not limited to, Metamucil and Doan’s Back Pills.
(For more on these amazing athletes, click here)
Have they made a big screen version of 'The Munsters' yet?
Do you see? Do you see what happens, Kris Humphries? Do you see what happens when you dance with the big-butted devil and make a deal involving the irresistible temptation of being famous solely for being famous? This is what happens, Kris. Now you are about to be inundated with more offers promising insta-fame and unwanted notoriety which will do nothing more than further humiliate and degrade you and your family. First up: an offer from Chippendales.
Via TMZ:
Chippendales in Vegas has already reached out to Humphries, hoping to fill their empty celebrity MC spot at the Rio — previously occupied by ex-98 Degrees singer Jeff Timmons.
A rep for the show tells us, ” We figured since he was unemployed and, the soon-to-be ex-husband of Kim Kardashian, a gig at Chippendales might be the perfect job to help restore his faith in women.”
Yeah, help restore his faith in women. There truly is nothing more wholesome, dignified and classy than a horde of drunk women groping greased-up, partially-nude men. Right.
Oh, and some guy from 98 Degrees was the last guy to do it? Okay, never mind then. Carry on, Kris Humphries. It will only take a few career missteps and years of rejections and failures until he’s spit out the bottom of the porn industry. Which I suppose would mean he will at least have a little bit in common with his soon-to-be ex-wife.
Chippendales to Kris Humphries: We Can Heal You [TMZ]
The Truth Is Out There. And apparently, the truth is located hovering high above a high school football game being played a mere 425 miles away from Roswell, NM, where any Ufologist worth his weight in conspiracy theories knows is the epicenter of the UFO phenomenon in these United States.
As you can see, there appears to be approximately four orangish, brightly-colored orbs moving to and fro seen in the video which was recorded during a game played between Horizon (Scottsdale, Ariz.) and Notre Dame Prep (Scottsdale, Ariz.) last Friday, Oct. 28. The video is short, but one cannot deny that there was something up in the sky that night, although the source of the suspicious sighting is surely subject to interpretation.
One such person who has gone on record is Horizon head coach Steve Casey, who quickly dismissed the phenomena as something other than an extraterrestrial visit from above (via MaxPreps):
“I did see it during the game,” he said. “I said to one of my assistant coaches that the aliens came to watch us play.”
Casey said that four or five lights appeared over the southeast part of the stadium. He then saw one disappear.
However, Casey has chalked it up as some sort of prank.
“I don’t believe in extraterrestrial stuff,” he said. “So I took it as a joke.”
That’s what They want you to believe, Coach Steve Casey. It was all an elaborate hoax whose sole purpose is to hype up the UFO Phenomenon in order to sell books, lame-brained tours of suspected extraterrestrial sighting locales, assorted memorabilia and tickets to Will Smith movies.
But believe you me, true believers: The Truth Is Out There. And how about the fact that one of the schools who played in the game is named Notre Dame? Isn’t that quite the coincidence, in light of the fact that there was another suspected UFO sighting spotted above Notre Dame Stadium during a weather delay at a Fighting Irish game less than two months ago?
(cue The X-Files theme music)
I Want To Believe.
[video courtesy of Sports Grid]
In likely one of the most bizarre news items of the day, it has been announced that in a last-minute scheduling change, former-MLB-star-turned-financial-and-personal-trainwreck Lenny Dykstra will square off in the ring against former-MLB-star-turned-financial-and-personal-trainwreck Jose Canseco in a celebrity boxing match. Dykstra is replacing Tareq Salahi a/k/a the White House Party Crasher for a bout scheduled for Nov. 5 which will air live from Avalon Hollywood CA in a pay-per-view, streamed format online courtesy of FilmOn.com, which according to the press release announcing this little slice of crazy, boasts itself as “the first virtual Cable TV Network that delivers high definition, live TV channels in the USA over the Internet to Computers, Mobile Devices, Roku and IP enabled Televisions.” Neato.
Before we continue, allow the madness contained in the preceding paragraph soak in a bit: Lenny Dykstra against Jose Canseco in a celebrity boxing match on PPV. Yep.
Okay, let’s move on to the incoherently amusing statement Dykstra released announcing his role in the bout:
“Canseco ruined my career by spreading lies. I called Tareq and begged him to let me take his place in the upcoming fight against Canseco.”
Alrighty then. That Nails, what a cad.
Obviously, both are in it for a quick, relatively easy payday, so I wouldn’t expect much of a fight, given Dykstra’s recent struggles in recent months and going well into the last several years when Dykstra’s post-baseball life degenerated into a heaping pile of fail.
And Canseco? His failures and maladaptive behavior have been well-documented and one only has to follow him on Twitter for evidence. And his previous forays into celebrity boxing bouts have been laughable, circus-sideshow displays, to put it kindly.
But, as mentioned above, it’s all for a quick payday for these two. I only wonder how Dykstra and Canseco will split up the $500 purse. Okay, maybe it will be a $1,000, but who’s counting? Well, I suppose these guys are, but between legal fees and rent, these two will take whatever payout they can get.
Ex-Met Lenny Dykstra Vows to Knockout Jose Canseco at Alki David’s Celebrity Fight Night [Business Watch (via The700Level)]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Make that an LSD gummy worm. That makes it better, right? The couple in question were high on weed, dropping acid and drunk when they decided to give their pet Dachshund LSD. The dog took off, which left the spaced-out duo little choice but to run naked — well, the guy was totally nude and the woman was naked from the waist up — through the streets in their neighborhood. After police were called, they visited the couple’s house. They were still naked and quite upset. While the police were still at the household, the man’s mother and brother showed up with Oscar, the pet Dachshund. The two had been bitten by tripped-out Oscar and required medical treatment. Oh yeah, did I mention that Oscar had been hit by a car and later died? Yeah. Great story. [msnbc]
• In case you missed it, the Muppets made an appearance on WWE Raw the other night. [Off the Bench]
• Could Frank McCourt be ready to sell the Dodgers soon question mark? [Big League Stew]
• Eric Mangini said that his most stressful time as Browns coach was when defensive coordinator Rob Ryan would speak to the media. I can see that. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Five NFL teams who need to embrace the throwback look immediately. [Shutdown Corner]
• Here’s some video of Chris Paul and his family making an appearance on Family Feud. [Busted Coverage]
• Rangers coach John Tortorella had some fiery words for Joe Thornton regarding how Thornton ripped his squad. [Puck Daddy]
• Some genius on Twitter organized a public vigil for the demise of the Humphries-Kardashian wedding. [With Leather]
• Awesome: LOLNFL for Week 8. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Pizza Hut Fantasy Football Guy is getting frustrated with Reggie Bush. [Sports Pickle]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Opinion: If Humans Evolved To Be Social Creatures, Then Why Didn’t Anyone Come To My Party? (by Ethan Stone)
