Archive for November, 2011
Not too shabby. The outstanding play where a ball gets deflected not once, but twice before settling into a receiver’s hands comes courtesy of Sean Modster, a wide receiver from Santa Margarita (Calif.) High which occurred during the team’s game against Bellflower (Calif.) St. John Bosco Prep last Friday night.
The magic happened when Santa Margarita QB Johnny Stanton, dropped back and rolled out for a pass during the team’s 28-20 victory. The first of the aforementioned deflections was by Modster himself. The ball then caroms off his hands and into the hands of a St. John Bosco defensive player, who cannot come up with the interception, instead altering the ball’s trajectory back into the vicinity of Modster, who pulls down the catch. Certainly one of the stranger — and most impressive — catches I have seen in some time. But then again, I’m easily impressed…ooh look! Puffy clouds!
[H/T Prep Rally]
Shocking, right? But thankfully — and shamefully, I might add — it’s all a load of B.S. Actually, for the uninitiated, this isn’t the first time Global Associated News has reported the untimely death of a celebrity. In fact, it appears to be something of an oft-used schtick for them, a complete fabrication of events, whoever they are. That is, unless you believe Owen Wilson and Adam Sandler also died today, both in snowboarding accidents, not to mention the fact that Tom Hanks also met his death this very day as well.
I don’t get how they can get away with this stuff, but I’m sure it drives traffic to their craptastic site, and really, isn’t that all that matters. Truth be damned, people.
All I know is I wish they would update us on how Bat Boy is doing. That sure would be nice.
[via]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A man in Des Moines, IA suffered serious injuries after he shot himself in the groin with a large-caliber weapon just before 4 a.m. last Saturday. Yep, 4:00 in the morning. Drunk. Messing around with a loaded gun. Obviously, this cat was wearing Bad Idea Jeans at the time. Or, considering his intoxicated state, no pants at all. [azcentral]
• In case you missed it over the weekend, Lenny Dykstra wussed out on his boxing match with Jose Canseco. What a turd. [Off the Bench]
• For CBS Sports’ Charlie Casserly, the fact that Romo rhymes with another word is not such a good thing. [Awful Announcing]
• Check out this middle school coach strapping on a helmet and trucking a couple of his players, one so badly he broke the kid’s collarbone. [With Leather]
• Great news! You can now have ESPN Zone in your basement! [Deuce of Davenport]
• Here’s a photo of LeBron James playing a game of pickup basketball at a Jewish community center. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Kobe Bryant was the cover boy for Italian GQ. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Great video of a player with Down Syndrome scoring on a 75-yard touchdown run. [Bob's Blitz]
• Just so you know, Peter King will not tolerate drinking in the Red Sox dugout. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Yahoo! Launches Soul-Search Engine
Oh man, that’s beyond awkward. And what kind of person would I be if I did not pass it along to you, my dear readers? A person who doesn’t take advantage of an easy setup for a post, that’s the kind of person.
Anyhoo, Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert somehow hoodwinked Magic Johnson into taking part in a commercial for Quicken Loans (the company where Gilbert earned his fortune) which details some kind of promotion where if person contacts Quicken Loans for a free home loan review, the company will reward them with a free Android smart phone. That’s when the commercial takes a ridiculous turn.
Evidently unaware of the many options for shipping in this country, the guys are presented with a conundrum: how to deliver the phones. After saying it’s going to take some “magic” to get the phones out to all their customers coast to coast, Magic Johnson emerges, tells them he’s on it. Magic then proceeds to take sky hooks and jump shots with the smart phones from the top of a building where they land in the hands of people who presumably contacted Quicken Loans for a home loan review. The best part is when one of Magic’s shots delivers a smart phone to a girl in Alaska, there’s a polar bear standing right next to her. I guess the rumors about the wild Alaskan frontier are true.
Straight cheese. And the omission of a well-executed reference to the comic sans font was a bit of a letdown.
[H/T Pro Basketball Talk]
Of course, said grass Les Miles is peddling is Louisiana-grown turf grass, not, you know, the other stuff. But could you imagine if something like that would have come to light immediately preceding LSU’s big showdown with Alabama on Saturday? Talk about crazy. Although if were a betting man — which I’m not — I would have put my money on the fact that the accusations were not true and instead it was entirely the acts of Nick Saban and some kind of twisted, sinister smear campaign. Because that’s how Saban rolls. Win at all costs, baby.
Note: Obviously, the entire campaign is based upon Miles’ appearance in a ESPN College Gameday commercial which itself was based upon Les Miles once actually eating grass. What a kook, that guy.
[H/T Clay Travis via SB Nation]
It’s funny because the Texas Rangers did not triumph in the winner-take-all Game 7 of the World Series a few weeks ago. The St. Louis Cardinals did. Which means this guy’s tattoo is entirely inaccurate. The humor is in its complete lack of subtlety. And abject stupidity.
Big League Stew was forwarded the photo by a buddy of the presumably ashamed owner of the Bad Idea Body Art, along with a brief explanation why the tipster sold out his friend:
My friend had this done before Game 7. Maybe you can show the world how big of an idiot he is, or just a die hard fan.
Hmmm…idiot…or die hard fan?
(raises hands back and forth to simulate scales)
Yep. I’m going with idiot. But hey, at least he has a reminder of how his favorite baseball team blew it in the final two games of the 2011 World Series to make it consecutive losses in the Fall Classic. That has to count for something, right?
[H/T Big League Stew]
World Series champion Chris Carpenter took some time off from celebrating to lace up the skates and take part in a St. Louis Blues’ practice on Thursday. And the best part was he performed quite admirably.
But for those who know a thing or two about the Cardinals pitcher wouldn’t be surprised: he was an all-state defenseman for his Rhode Island high school but the 36-year-old gave up hockey when he was drafted by the Toronto Blue Jays in the 1993 MLB Draft.
In a way, it was an NHL hockey fantasy camp of sorts for the 6’6″ Carpenter: he had his own locker, jersey and a No. 29 decal — his number with the Cardinals — for his helmet. The pitcher was blown away by the entire experience (via St. Louis Post-Dispatch):
“It was awesome,” said Carpenter, who skated while recently retired Cardinals manager Tony La Russa watched from the bleachers. “For these guys to give up some of their time to allow me to come in here … I just wanted to get out of everybody’s way, just watch really, and then they invited me to come out here and skate a little bit. I was just hoping not to embarrass myself.”
Video follows:
Crikey, that wasn’t very good. Leave to the kids from the Land Down Under. Things just haven’t been the same down there since Michael Hutchence died. But that’s another story altogether.
In any event, the homage to the King of Pop was incapably performed by players from New South Wales Ice Hockey and taking my skating ability into account, I guess I should give them a modicum of credit: crap, I can barely stand up on skates without my ankles buckling. I guess what I’m getting at is when me and my buddies get together for a choreographed performance of “Thriller,” we usually forgo the skates, hop on our unicycles and let the groove work its magic. Yeah, that’s right: I am a proud member of a unicycle gang. We call ourselves “The Unibombers.” And when were not causing trouble for the establishment, we like to dance.
[H/T Puck Daddy]
Interesting. There really isn’t much to add here other than the man in the middle of pro wrestling royalty is George Richards from the Miami Herald. I wonder if Sgt. Slaughter gave that ink-stained wretch a taste of the old Camel Clutch. Or, at the very least, gave the guy a G.I. Joe action figure. How cool would that be?
Yet, I do have one question: does Jimmy “The Mouth of the South” Hart really carry around a megaphone wherever he goes or does he only bust it out for semi-staged public appearances? I’d like to think he uses it when he’s in the drive-thru at McDonald’s. You know, just to mess with them.
Oh, and here’s an interesting little trivia nugget I learned during a quick search of the interwebs: prior to his entry into the wacky world of professional wrestling, Jimmy Hart was the lead singer of ’60s band The Gentrys, who had a run of hits during their heyday, including the little diddy, “Keep On Dancing”. Crazy stuff.
But now I know, and knowing is half the battle.
[H/T The Big Lead]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A 60-year-old Pennsylvania man faces two years in prison after entering a guilty plea in federal court to tampering with a consumer product relating to charges that he injected semen into the food of two co-workers. Joseph Bartorillo’s attorney said his client is “very, very remorseful.” It did not indicate into what kind of food the guy injected semen into, but I’m too grossed out to look into it further. [azcentral]
• Dwyane Wade said the Heat didn’t win because they were trying to win in order to spite people. [Larry Brown Sports]
• NBA 2K12 reveals 43 new in-game legends. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Awesome: a song with lyrics created entirely out of Mike Tyson quotes. [Sports Crackle Pop!]
• Here’s video of a Canadian sports anchor winning the lottery during a live broadcast. [Bob's Blitz]
• Is porn star Courtney Cummz hitting on ESPN’s Michelle Beadle on Twitter? [Busted Coverage]
• Check out this goalie giving up a goal from the opposing blue line. [Puck Daddy]
• Yale’s QB might have to choose between playing against Harvard and a Rhodes Scholar interview. [Off the Bench]
• Hilarious: “MLB Releases the Season-In-Review DVD Titles for All 16 National League Teams” [Sports Pickle]
• MSF is back with another Photo Story: “‘Sucks For Luck,” starring Andrew Luck, Peyton Manning, and with special musical guest Jim Irsay” [Midwest Sports Fans]
• Another Friday morning, another edition of KSK’s Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• A quick rundown of female celebrities who date professional athletes. [Unathletic]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: David Freese Swarmed In St. Louis By Hordes Of Swooning, Average-Looking Women
Move aside, Wenlock and Mandeville, YOGGL is here to replace you in our Olympic mascot-related nightmares.
What exactly is YOGGL, you say? Glad you asked. He is the official mascot of the first-ever Winter Youth Games which will take place this coming January in Innsbruck, Austria. Here is what else I discovered about YOGGL after a lazy internet search:
YOGGL is an Alpine chamois who lives at moderately high altitudes in the steep, rugged and rocky Karwendel Mountains between Innsbruck and Seefeld. His name “YOGGL” (pronounced just like in YOG) is based on the rustic nickname “Joggl” for Jakob, which is a traditional and very common Tyrolean name, adjusted with a “Y” at the beginning. The name contains the abbreviation “YOG”, making the mascot part of the Youth Olympic Games. He symbolises life in Alpine regions and will raise awareness of respect for nature and our natural resources, like all the “Mountain Joggls” do.
Ah yes, there is nothing like the dogged determination of all “Mountain Joggls” in raising awareness and respect for nature and our natural resources. The most troubling aspect of that previous statement is that it insinuates there is more than one of these things. Jinkies.
Although I cannot say which part of Yoggl I find most disturbing: the bugged-out, intense and disturbing eyes or the technicolor qualities of what appears to be a pants/scarf combo. Maybe his eyes got like that from looking at his own outfit. Hard to say.
[image via]
Why am I not surprised that Brian Wilson was spotted sporting a t-shirt featuring cult classic icon Jeffrey Lebowski? Because that’s how he rolls. Rolls. Get it? Yeah, that was stupid.
But really, does it really shock anyone that the Great Bearded Closer Guy would make his way about town wearing such a shirt? It goes perfectly with his entire persona. A square peg refusing to be hammered into a round whole, an outcast, a guy who plays by his own rules; a loner, Dottie, a rebel, if you will. The only problem is we should expect more out of Brian Wilson. The guy’s a trailblazer, correct? A misfit who won’t bow to society’s conventions… unless it involves successfully marketing the oddball persona he so carefully cultivates. I suppose what I am getting at is: isn’t The Big Lebowski a bit played out at this point? I’m not implying it’s not a brilliant film — I still will watch it from time to time — but such outward displays referencing the flick? So…played. But hey, I do dig his crazy socks.
My thought is Brian Wilson should spend the offseason coming up with a new persona, a new schtick. Come back in spring training a changed man. Instead of crazy-bearded wild man, how about closely-cropped goody two-shoes? A straight-laced everyman who hones his craft and doesn’t make waves or attract attention to himself. Now that would be Wilson’s finest performance yet. Except for maybe that Taco Bell commercial. Now that is funny stuff. FACT.
[image via the trogloytic photogs at TMZ]
Seriously? The headline of this article alone would be worthy of a Pulitzer Prize. In the Bizarro World.
Will divorce from Kim Kardashian affect Humphries’ free agent value? [Sporting News]
The day that Billy Corgan learned, for all intents and purposes, that Ryne Sandberg would not be included in the Chicago Cubs’ managerial search, well, that day wasn’t the greatest day he’d ever known. In fact, Corgan, the Smashing Pumpkins frontman, Chicago native and die-hard Cubs fan, was so disappointed he took to the radio waves to air his grievances.
Why? Because according to the tweet accompanying this photo, Arianny Celeste refers to exactly what is transpiring in the above photo as “Innocent look 
another day in the office.”
I hate to disagree, but the provocative outfit Miss Celeste is wearing is not an “innocent look” (even with the presence of the smiley face taken into account), nor does that look like “another day in the office.” At least no office I have ever worked in. A statement which establishes the very reason behind why I titled this post, “It Must Be Great To Have A Job In The Office Arianny Celeste Works At.”
See? It all makes sense now. And even if it doesn’t, at least you got to see yet another photo of Arianny Celeste here at the Sportress. Everybody wins! I guess except for the people who have to share an office with her. How would you get any work done, am I right?
[via]
