But to be fair, Hooters restaurants the world over have faith that the skimpy tops they insist their busty waitresses wear will somehow retain the structural integrity — despite the tremendous pressure placed upon them — to hold everything in place. Well, maybe they don’t, actually, but you know what I mean.
And what I mean is that despite the groaning, teeth-gnashing and wringing of hands currently being done by Houston Texans fans due to the fact that in light of starting quarterback Matt Schaub’s possible season-ending foot injury, the 7-3, AFC South-leading team has little choice but to hitch their wagon to first round draft pick flame-out and current Texans backup QB, Matt Leinart.
One question: as long as Leinart is under center, beer bongs will be on the house at this particular Hooters locale, right? It would only make sense. Ah, who am I kidding? They don’t offer beer bongs at Hooters. But it would be cool if they did.
You know, because he’s only making $2.5 million this season. How can we expect the Miami Dolphins running back to afford such extravagant items like Need for Speed: The Run, not to mention all the associated accessories?
Bush tagged this photo in a tweet containing the brief message, “Swag!” and it’s hard not to be envious of his fortuitous position in life. The very least Reggie Bush could do is donate those times to somebody less fortunate, who isn’t earning a paycheck at the moment. Like his favorite NBA player or something. I bet LeBron James could really use something to cheer him up right about now.
* actually, this entire post was purely satirical and used as a means to crack an NBA lockout joke. If you retweeted this tweet from Bush, you had the chance to win the aforementioned swag as Bush is picking out a winner on Thursday. But in keeping with the theme of the post, we can all hope an NBA player wins all that cool stuff.
The “Top Headlines” sidebar is beyond superb, not to mention the well-crafted barbs located in “Blog Central.” Ha. Roenick getting drunk and blogging. But let’s be honest here, how many things are there that Jeremy Roenick actually does when he is not drunk? For example, performing karaoke jams of “Funky Cold Medina”?
But between the two sections, the fact that the only potentially real NHL headline left in “Top Headlines” is about Sidney Crosby missing the next Pittsburgh Penguins game. Zing!
Well played, Sports Pickle. Well played, indeed. Go NHL. This is your chance, guys. Can a Gary Bettman-led league take advantage of the opportunity that has dropped in their laps? That’s the question, kids.
As the title of the Cheech & Chong classic once opined, Things Are Tough All Over, even more so if you happen to be an NBA player right about now, as you may have heard that the players missed their first scheduled payday of the nonexistent season on Tuesday. Count Boston Celtics guard Delonte West, who took to Twitter Tuesday night to articulate his feelings regarding this disappointing development. Make that “barely articulate his feelings regarding this disappointing development.
“13depemdents”? I assume he means he has 13 dependents, which in and of itself is one bad scene.
But seriously, what is going on up there? That is one jumbled mess of a tweet, like he was typing it up on his cell phone while riding on a Tilt-A-Whirl. On the other hand, maybe West was doing the unthinkable: texting while driving…a forklift at a furniture store factory. West hung out to that job, right?
Klarissa Leone, an adult film star hailing from Prague in the Czech Republic, recently expressed that after making a name for herself in the Eastern European porn world — and perhaps her reach in the global adult film world has “spread,” as it were (like most classy men, usually only watch adult films for the articles, so I wouldn’t know) — has a dream of owning her very own professional football club. To do what with, I don’t even want to venture to guess.
But in all seriousness, Leone says she would name her club Inter Prague after Inter Milan, her favorite soccer team, and added (via The Sun):
“I’ve loved my career in porn but I’ve always dreamed of owning a football club and that would give me an even bigger buzz.
“I’m sure my porn fans will be just as keen on my team. There are lots of women in football these days.”
Very good. And why shouldn’t she pursue her dreams. Given what she has been willing to do up to this point in her life to be a success, there is no doubt that Leone would be willing to take one for the team…once again, as it were.
Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the lede from The Sun‘s little article about Leone:
PORN star Klarisa Leone is set to give male soccer chiefs some stiff competition — by opening her own football club.
Holy moly, now that’s some mighty fancy footwork right there. The spectacular goal being referenced here comes courtesy of the Portland Timbers’ Darlington Nagbe during the squad’s match against Sporting Kansas City earlier this season, where the rookie Nagbe (and second overall pick in the 2011 MLS SuperDraft) settles the ball after an attempted punch-out by Sporting KC’s goalie and juggles it twice before blasting it crosswise and into the upper left corner of the net. Impressive. And impressive enough to snatch 42% of the vote to win the 2011 AT&T Goal of the Year.
More on the spectacular shot:
The goal was named one of the Top Plays on ESPN’s SportsCenter that evening and won ESPN SportsCenter’s ‘Best of the Best’ poll every day for a full week, earning more votes each day than another top play from around the sports world. Within days, the highlight surpassed one million views on YouTube and has been reviewed more than 1.5 million times. In addition to being named MLSsoccer.com’s Goal of the Week in Week 16, Nagbe’s incredible goal was also named the Timbers’ 2011 Play of the Year.
A big congratulations goes out to Mr. Nagbe for the tremendous honor. Perhaps for an encore, he could try to score more than 2 goals for the Timbers next season. Yeah, that would be nice.
On Monday, NFL.com reporter Jeff Darlington took a seat in John Fox’s office and listened to the Denver Broncos head coach wax philosophical regarding the quarterback his team by all appearances begrudgingly sends out to lead the Broncos every week. And by the time you finish reading the below quotes, I imagine you, like me, might be left wondering, “Is this guy really sold on Tebow or is he just making the best out of a bad situation on a team that he inherited?”
Here’s what Fox had to say about how the Broncos are winning ugly with Tebow at the helm:
“Do whatever the hell it takes,” he laughed. “I mean, what the hell? You don’t get points for style in this league. Let me tell you something: My man is really good in this offense. You know what I mean?
“If we were trying to run a regular offense, he’d be screwed.”
Ouch. For the next 45 minutes, Darlington watched as Fox broke down game film and listened as the coach simultaneously (and somewhat reluctantly) praised Tebow while at the same time bemoaned his lot in life as the Broncos’ first-year head coach. There are an abundance of telling quotes from Fox in the article, but perhaps this one sums it up best:
“After the loss to Detroit (a 45-10 blowout), we decided if Tim is going to be our guy, we can’t do that other crap. We had to tweak it.”
Reading the article in its entirety should make one feel badly for the Broncos coach. To me, it seems nothing would have been better for him — not to mention the entire organization — than had Tebow gone out, played terribly and lost. And depending on which way you look at it, especially if you’re an NFL purist, Tebow only went out and did one of those two things. They say winning cures everything, but to listen to John Fox, that might not be true in every situation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Fox is happy the team is going out there and winning football games, it’s just that he likely wishes they were doing it differently. That said, the Broncos are winning with Tebow and his unorthodox play under center, which is leading to some folks in Broncos camp to warm up to the new system. “I don’t think anyone within the organization is immune to the fact that there may be something special about the guy,” the source said. “I don’t think anybody is sold on the long-term success of this offense yet — but I think we’ve warmed up to it.”
During a news conference Tuesday, architectural firm Gensler unveiled new images of the latest design for the proposed NFL stadium in Los Angeles, which is purportedly to be called Farmers Field (“We are Farmers. Bum-ba-da-ba-bum-bum-bum-bum). According to the principals, the airy, translucent, futuristic-looking stadium could be ready for the 2016 NFL season.
Said Tim Romani, President and CEO of ICON Venue Group, which serves as AEG’s Owners Representative for Farmers Field (try putting that on a business card) (from FarmersField.com, via Shutdown Corner):
“We have really challenged the Gensler team to create a unique design for Farmers Field that is destined to become another distinguished signature building for Los Angeles and at the same time a remarkable achievement in venue functionality and sustainability…This stadium and event center will be like nothing you’ve ever seen or experienced.”
Added Gensler principal, Ron Turner:
“Designing a world-class large scale venue, capable of creating the perfect environment to host both indoor and outdoor events, goes far beyond the retractable roof solutions of the past…Our charge is not only to design a stadium that offers the ideal outdoor NFL experience but also to have a fully enclosable facility that creates an equally appealing location and atmosphere for indoor events and conventions.”
Sounds wonderful. And by the looks of the artist’s rendering, would fit quite well into the Los Angeles streetscape. Farmers Field could be a state-of-the-art facility: stylish, modern and if you look closely, actually has a fully-sized football field inside of it. Now all they need is a real NFL team to play in it. Any takers? No, not you, Jacksonville. I said a real NFL team.
Jeez, what can’t this guy do? Other than competently throw a football and run a pro-style offense, that is. Oh, and all that stuff the Bible instructs us not to do, too. Can’t forget about those things. I think they’re called sinful acts, but then again, I’m no theologian. Nor a moral person.
Surprisingly, the power rankings on NFL.com still contain this graphic blunder, which leads me to believe that instead of it being a blunder, it is conversely a wry tongue-in-cheek joke being played upon us by NFL.com analyst Elliot Harrison, for which I give him great credit. But the question remains: without Tebow, where would the Denver Broncos rank? Lower? Higher? The same? Quite the conundrum.
Ha. There truly is nothing more precious than the look of terrified awe on a young child’s face. I can imagine them trying to re-create the play on the court at the playground on their favorite college basketball video game…which would have to be an old version of one since no one makes college basketball video games anymore, which is pretty stupid when you think about it.
What the above sack by Stone Bridge (Va.) High’s Jonathan Allen lacked in subtlety was more than made up for with outright ferocity. Also: a well-deserved unnecessary roughness penalty. I’m shocked that a backhoe wasn’t required to dig that poor quarterback out of the turf.
Allen’s planting of McLean (Va.) High quarterback Danny Hecht during a recent game exemplified — perhaps inappropriately — why Jonathan Allen, still a sophomore, has already received offers from five ACC schools, as well interest from Oklahoma and Rutgers. You can’t teach that stuff. Well, maybe in a WWE training boot camp, but not on the football field. I mean, Allen grabs the guy, gets him into a nice grappling position and proceeds to suplex him right into the ground. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, a suplex aficionado of some renown and the voluminous versions of the aforementioned move, would be quite pleased with Allen’s technique.
Yamma hamma. Does Kentucky Wildcats freshman Anthony Davis look like Ryan and Liam McPoyle or what? To which Ryan and Liam say, “Bravo.”
And while he does bear some resemblance to the McBoyle brothers, the contours, definition and overall shape of his unibrow is definitely in the Margaret McPoyle style.
Come on, dude. Take it easy. You’re going to wear yourself out with that kind of over-the-top celebrating.
As the Good Book says, “He who reacheth thy ultimate goal, maketh the onerous journey first. Go Pack Go! In the name of Lombardi, Curly Lambeau and the Holy Spirit. Amen.” Or something like that.
Greetings, folks. Sad news, or at the very least, news: for the foreseeable future and perhaps forever, I will be putting the kibosh on Wake N’ Blog, which some of you have come to know as the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Unfortunately, doing Wake N’ Blog every morning simply takes too much time away from generating original content for the site. I would like to thank all those who have submitted tips and link submissions over the years. Your contributions were much appreciated.
Maybe some time in the future I will revisit Wake N’ Blog and once again make it a daily routine, but for now, say goodbye to our little buddy over there on the left. See ya, dude.
PACIFIC BEACH — An 81-year-old Pacific Beach woman awoke to find a Chargers fan passed out on her couch this morning, according to San Diego police.
Officer Frank Cali of the San Diego Police Department said the woman living on the 1300 block of Thomas Avenue reported an unknown man estimated to be in his 20s and wearing a Chargers jersey was asleep in her living room at about 7:20 a.m.
The man was taken into custody and charged with being drunk in public.
That must have been awfully frightening ordeal for the old lady. But what gives with only being charged with being drunk in public? Trespassing at the very least would seem like a logical charge, not to mention the possibility of breaking and entering.
And given that the passed-out drunk dude was wearing a Chargers jersey and is as of this moment unidentified, for the sake of Chargers fans, let’s hope it wasn’t Phillip Rivers. Because if anyone affiliated with the Chargers organization, be it fan, player or otherwise, probably needed to go on a bender after last night’s loss to the Raiders, it most certainly was him. Or Norv Turner, maybe, but he strikes me more as the kind of guy who huffs air conditioner refrigerant. I don’t know why, he just does.
