Archive for November, 2011
Dear Lord. I mean Dear Tebow. Dear Tebow, yeah, that’s it. And remember, not everyone is granted the honor of adorning themselves in holy vestments such as the frock which is draped upon her. She is probably an ordained priest in the Church or something. I only pray that it is not a Snuggie or Forever Lazy. That would be sacrilege.
One question: during the holy sacrament of Tebowing, is one supposed to remove the holy garb so as not to sully it with the dirty earth? Hard to say, given that the Tebowanity religion is only in its infancy. I guess we’ll just have to wait until the Tebocalypse and see who rises up with Him into the Great Gridiron in the Sky.
But all sarcasm aside, that was a pretty nifty run by Tebow to dispatch the suddenly reeling Jets to the nether regions as the clock wound down to grant a victory to the Denver Broncos faithful. Also helping: the Jets’ under-performing defense and disgustingly inept offense. Yeah, those things helped, too. The Broncos’ defense had a hand in it as well, but…
Ah, who are we kidding? It was all Tim Tebow. If it wasn’t his legs or his arm (???) making the plays, they were accomplished due to the inspiration he imparts upon his teammates.
Ah yes, a little bit of the old NHL ultraviolence on a lovely Friday morning. This entry comes from Thursday night’s Predators-Maple Leafs game and it featured the scrappy pugilistic stylings of Nashville’s Brian McGrattan and Toronto’s Jay Rosehill and let me tell you, the fists were flying with alarming tenacity.
There is a whole heaping load of good stuff in this on-ice scrape, beginning with the rapid fire punches from each combatant to start the tilt. I mean they’re really going after each other. I got tired just watching them go at it. As the fight moves on, Rosehill goes with one of my favorite hockey fight moves: the jab with the hand that is grabbing the other guy’s jersey. Then, as the two near exhaustion, a final flurry of haymakers. Finally, as the two are separated, McGrattan raises his arms triumphantly to the adoring, bloodthirsty Nashville crowd. Good stuff.
But, as it often goes in NHL fights, most of the punches don’t land flush on skin or skull, they come crashing down upon the helmet, which I imagine does just as much damage to the fighter’s hand than it does their foe. Still, it was nevertheless a thing of savage beauty. According to HockeyFights.com (where, according to the online voting at the time of this post, the Predators pugilist now has garnered 96.3% of the vote as the winner), McGrattan said afterward that his “hands are ok, I hit his bucket a couple of times at the end. [It was a] good tilt, I feel better and more comfortable than I ever have. Big props to Rosehill, too.”
Look at that. Respect for the opponent. That’s why fighting in hockey such an enthralling spectacle. Well, that and all the punching.
GAH! KILL IT! KILL IT!
This is what happens, kids, when humans try to play God and practice perverted forms of science. Either that or his family’s home was far too close to a nuclear waste storage facility.
But really, this fan, who broke out the papier-mâché and other assorted art supllies in order to get his freak show on so he could root for Thailand in their match against Singapore at the Southeast Asian Games should be commended. Anytime somebody’s getup reminds me of the hackneyed special effects typically seen in a Troma Entertainment film is alright with me. And with that in mind, I will refer to this unnamed soccer fan as The Toxic Avenger.
[image via]
Awesome. The recruit in question is Steven Adams, a highly touted power forward all the way from Wellington, New Zealand who, according to Rivals.com, has made a strong verbal commitment to play for Pitt. And in light of the incredible tattoo he just got on his chest (featuring a Pitt Panthers “gash” with “Pacific island pattern” inlaid within the claw marks, via his tweet), I’d say Pitt should feel pretty confident that Adams will be heading to the University of Pittsburgh campus sometime soon.
On the other hand, I suppose he could opt out of his verbal commitment and choose to attend a multitude of other schools which feature mascots that have claws: whether that mascot be another large cat, a bear, perhaps; crap, even a Wolverine has some pretty ferocious claws. Some reptiles, too, although I’m not aware of any school whose mascot is a Komodo Dragon. But I’m sure there is some university somewhere with some other clawed, reptilian mascot. Huh.
Moving on, I guess what I’m getting at is: keep an eye on this kid, Pitt. He’s a mystery wrapped inside an enigma tattooed with a gash inlaid with a Pacific island pattern.
[H/T Pitt Script]
Washington Capitals defenseman Mike Green was on hand when rocker Kid Rock — wait, is Kid Rock a “rocker”? You know, in the way that every time you mention Bret Michaels, you have to say “Rocker Bret Michaels”? — was presented with a personalized Caps jersey. I know what you’re thinking: why is Kid Rock getting his own Caps jersey? Isn’t he from Detroit?
Well, the thing is that Kid Rock is currently on a nationwide club tour and at each stop he is donating money to local charities. It just so happens Kid Rock was playing a gig at the Fillmore in Silver Spring, Md and the photo-op and press conference occurred prior to the show.
Green, along with D.C. area radio show host Eliot Segal, who are co-founders of the charity So Kids Can, presented Kid Rock with said jersey after he made a donation on behalf of the appropriately named Kid Rock Foundation.
“We’re so thankful to Kid Rock for this donation,” said Green. “I know there are a lot of worthwhile charities in the D.C. area and I’m honored that he chose So Kids Can for this grant.”
Green and Segal created the So Kids Can program in 2008 to benefit youth-focused, nonprofit organizations. This season Caps forwards Nicklas Backstrom and Brooks Laich have also joined the cause.
Well done. And kudos to Kid Rock for his philanthropic efforts. Obviously, even the most die-hard Detroit Red Wings fan can see no wrong with Kid Rock, um, rocking a Capitals jersey. They know where the guy’s heart lies.
[H/T D.C. Sports Bog]
Hoo boy. At least it was only a video game. I guess.
That is all.
[H/T @white_castle10 via @darrenrovell]
As a lifelong Vikings fan, all I can say about this heartbroken little Vikings fan is this: get used to it, sweetie. You will have many, many, many more days like this. But don’t worry, the losses begin to sting less and less with every passing year.
Stupid, mean-old Packers. Ruining a cute little girl’s evening. How rude.
[H/T Rant Sports]
Rabid Ireland fan Conor Cunningham had some of the best seats in the house when his Irish squad took on Estonia during a Euro 12 playoff last week and it was all courtesy of a purloined tracksuit.
Cunningham, without a ticket for the big match and unwilling to pay the big bucks the tickets were going for, nevertheless traveled to the stadium in Tallinn, Estonia’s capital. That’s when Cunningham noticed an open door into the stadium.
At long last, a retread ’80s hair metal band has finally addressed the entire Tiger Woods scandal. And we have Steel Panther, who according to the bio on their website, is the “hottest band out of Hollywood since Motley Crue, Guns N’ Roses and Poison ruled the Sunset Strip.” And how.
Steel Panther’s song, “Just Like Tiger Woods,” a track from the band’s current release, “Balls Out” (here’s the album cover – wow) is an anthemic, headbanging romp that is sure to get your toes tapping while you raise a double-handed”Sign of the Horns” while you sing along to the chorus, which goes a little something like this:
If you want to be like Tiger Woods
Fertilize the ladies in your neighborhood
Get real rich and you will find
All the hot chicks will want to grind
If you want to be like Tiger Woods
Grip that shaft like you know you should
Get a platinum card, it’ll be all good
Girls will want you, just like Tiger Woods
Yep. There you have it. Video featuring the smoking-hot single follows. Enjoy.
From the latest installment of “The Nick & JaVale Show,” which features Washington Wizards teammates Nick Young and JaVale McGee (I’m guessing that’s why it’s called “The Nick & JaVale Show” — you know, because those are their names: …Nick & JaVale!), comes this footage of the two gents attempting the frequently-attempted-yet-rarely-accomplished “Cinnamon Challenge.” And as you can see from the video, it doesn’t go too well, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has attempted it. A person would have better luck snorting a box of crushed-up Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Not that I recommend that, either.
But ultimately, this video should serve as a warning to all other locked-out NBA players: forgo the cinnamon at the grocery store and instead stock up on ramen. That stuff is like $0.19/box and quite delicious.
[H/T D.C. Sports Bog]
Wow. As the always-superb high school sports-centric site Prep Rally mentions in their post title regarding this spectacular touchdown run, there is a game’s worth of highlights in this single rush.
The impressive touchdown comes courtesy of Parrish Young, a running back from Franklin (N.C.) High, and the fact that he managed to combine about four different highlight-worthy moves into this touchdown is mind-blowing. First, there’s the hurdling of a defender as he sweeps around the right side and begins to straighten out the run, then he nimbly sidesteps another defender before plowing over another before leaving two additional helpless opponents lying in the dirt as he makes his way the final 10 yards into the end zone. And all that happens in 15 seconds. Amazing.
All I can think after watching it is can you imagine what would happen if Chris Berman had to call this highlight? He would have to incorporate a “WOOP!” or two followed by a rushed “Rumblin’ bumblin’ stumblin’,” all before Young scores. Crap, his head would probably explode. Kelly Clarkson probably would be crushed if that happened. I mean, who would ride shotgun and sing along with her?
Sure, it’s not as explicit nor as entertaining as the Iron Sheik’s previous forays into online criticism, but despite its lack of vileness and excessive profanity, it’s hard to argue with the veracity of thoughts contained in the above tweet. Well put, Iron Sheik. Heck, that’s probably better advice than Billy Hunter or David Stern are giving to the parties they represent. Maybe the Iron Sheik can help mediate the differences between the two groups. And if not, he could place both Hunter and Stern in the Camel Clutch and whoever lasts the longest before submitting wins on a particular issue. This would go on until all the issues are resolved or one of the two are incapable of continuing. If that occurs, the other side’s position on all remaining differences would win out. What a concept.
But one question: is the Virgil in “dont be the virgil” in reference to the Million Dollar Man’s personal assistant from way back when? It has to be, right? Although if it is, that is one strange reference out of nowhere, not to mention a totally awesome one at that.
Why? I cannot say. The Foo Fighters, after performing on Letterman’s show on Tuesday night (with Joan Jett, of all people), had a show at TD Garden on Wednesday evening.
The photo above and photos beloew were uploaded to the interwebs on Thursday morning courtesy of the Boston Bruins’ official Twitter account, and I must say, Dave Grohl looks positively terrified of Bruins captain Zdeno Chara. Who knows? Maybe Dave is a close friend of Montreal Canadiens forward Max Pacioretty. It’s possible.
Additional photos of Dave posing for a photo with Shawn Thornton as well as a group shot featuring Dave and fellow Foo Fighter Chris Shiflett . Other than that, I don’t owe you anything. But I’ll stick around. I’ll stick around.
The golf world was all abuzz when it was reported that Tiger Woods, along with his partner Steve Stricker and their respective caddies, were scheduled to face Adam Scott and K.J. Choi and their respective caddies during each team’s first match of the President’s Cup on Wednesday in Melbourne, Australia. Of course, what added sizzle to this matchup was the fact that one Steve Williams is currently carrying Adam Scott’s bag and we all know how the once close professional and seemingly personal relationship between Woods and Williams steadily devolved since Tiger’s whoremongering scandal broke into a slow burn of acrimony, potshots backbiting and eventually, outright antipathy, mostly coming from Williams’ side of the relationship ledger.
As you can see above, when Tiger and Stevie shook hands after the match, well, Tiger’s face says it all. Yikes. If for some reason I could only come up with a reaction to that photo based upon a reference to old Mötley Crüe lyrics, I’d say he’s got the looks that kill, albeit in a different way than the meaning of the lyrics. That’s the ultimate representation of staring daggers, friends. And no, I have no idea why I have Mötley Crüe on the brain. It’s a sickness.
But to maintain the theme here, unfortunately for Tiger and his playing partner, the match turned into a “Theatre of Pain” for the duo, as Scott and Choi kicked the ever-living snot out of their opponents, as the Woods-Stricker team didn’t win a hole, losing the match 7 and 6, the worst loss in Presidents Cup history. Ouch.
