Archive for November, 2011
Oh, that Metta World Peace: what a cad that guy is!
The Los Angeles Lakers star was absolutely bringing it on Twitter on Monday night and one of the highlights had to be his proposal on how to resolve the lockout: he faces Charlotte Bobcats owner Michael Jordan in a mano-a-mano, winner-take-all game of one-on-one. Whoever wins the game, their respective side “wins” the lockout. Metta World Peace tweeted:
Come on Jordan!! Bring it. One on one. I win lockout over. I’ll beat u with my eyes closed and a in and out burger in my right hand!!
With his eyes closed while munching on an In-N-Out burger? If there’s one thing about this guy that’s undeniably true it’s that he’s not short on confidence. Or impractical ideas.
But really, you have to give Metta credit for at least trying to resolve the lockout and bring back NBA basketball. And if I were a betting man — like Michael Jordan — I would be willing to wager that MJ would be more than happy to take on Metta World Peace in a one-on-one battle if he had the authority from the other NBA owners to do so. Which he won’t, obviously. But dangling that kind of high stakes wager in front of Michael Jordan? You just know he’s chomping at the bit — not to mention a big old cigar — to take him up on it. He can’t help himself.
The Denver Broncos QB made an appearance on ESPN’s First Take program on Tuesday morning and invariably, the topic of former NFL quarterback Jake Plummer’s critique regarding Tebow’s incessant praising of Jesus whenever he gets a chance came up as a topic of discussion. Of course, Tebow responded in typical Tebow-esque manner: self-assured and composed, all the while incorporating heavy doses of “I love Jesus” into his response. As transcribed by Pro Football Talk:
“If you’re married, and you have a wife, and you really love your wife, is it good enough to only say to your wife, I love her, the day you get married? Or should you tell her every single day when you wake up and have the opportunity? And that’s how I feel about my relationship with Jesus Christ,” Tebow said. “It is the most important thing in my life, so every opportunity I have to tell him I love him, or I’m given an opportunity to shout him out on national TV, I’m going to take that opportunity.”
The entire comparison between saying you love your wife every day and screaming it from the hilltops or whenever a microphone is shoved in your face is a bit forced, not to mention a stretch if you ask me, but it was said during a live television interview and perhaps his thoughts were not articulated exactly the way Tebow wished. He continued, explaining how the hierarchy of things he loves in his life breaks down:
“I look at it as a relationship I have with him, I want to give him the honor and glory every time I get the opportunity,” Tebow said. “And then after I give him the honor and glory I always try to give my teammates the honor and glory, and that’s how it works. Because Christ comes first in my life, and then my family, and then my teammates. I respect Jake’s opinion, and I really appreciate his compliment of calling me a winner, but I feel like every time I get the opportunity to give the Lord some praise he is due for it because what he did for me, and what he did on the cross for all of us. I really appreciate his opinion and I respect him, but I still will give all the honor and glory to the Lord because he deserves it.”
Whether or not Tebow feels the Lord deserves constant praise is immaterial to the conversation. Plummer’s criticism was that Tebow shouldn’t feel the need to say it at every opportunity. We all get it by now: Tim Tebow loves Jesus and his relationship with his Lord and Savior has been so overly covered by the Broncos QB it has practically reached to the point that whatever message Tebow is trying to convey gets lost in white noise of constant repetition.
Tebow should give it a rest. Everybody knows it. Cats and dogs probably are aware of it at this point. And by the simple act of refraining from speaking about it from time to time, perhaps it will cease to be a topic of discussion. Lord knows I could use a break from it.
After reports of boarish boorish behavior during the Rugby World Cup that they say brought shame upon them, Matthew Vaea, the manager of Samoa’s World Cup rugby team, has been fined the unique penalty of 100 pigs by the elders from the Samoan village of Leauva’a. The village elders say Vaea’s actions, which included excessive drinking and disappearing for days at a time due to the fact he allegedly didn’t want to be there, tarnished the chiefly title of “tuala” which had been bestowed upon him.
Said Leauva’a village chief Vaifale (via The Telegraph):
“The title of tuala received bad publicity in the media because tuala Mathew failed to perform some of his duties as the manager for the Manu Samoa,” he told the Samoa Observer newspaper.
Jeez, talk about being a pig in a poke, right? Although I should be upfront and admit I’m not sure that idiom is fitting for this situation, but I digress.
It should be pointed out that Vaea did not actually remit payment in pork, instead opting to pay in cash the equivalent value of 100 pigs, which comes to approximately 2,000 Samoan tala (£530), and your guess is as good as mine how much that equates to in American dollars. Vaea also issued a formal apology to village elders, yet there was no word regarding whether or not he offered to cook them a whole mess of delicious, crispy bacon to make additional amends. Pork chops would have been nice, too. And no, I don’t care if you don’t dig on swine and think that pigs are filthy animals. You know, because bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
[image via]
Hoo boy.
Here’s the Reuters’ caption for the above photo (via Off the Bench):
Courtney Kriley of State College, Pennsylvania, takes photos of her children Brian (4) and Alexandra (7) at the Joe Paterno statue in State College, Pennsylvania November 19, 2011. The photos will be for their Christmas card.
Either Courtney Kriley isn’t keeping up on current events or just flat-out doesn’t care.
Uh, zing? Chicago Bears defensive tackle Anthony Adams couldn’t resist leaving an extra-special message on one young Packers’ fan patient whiteboard when visiting sick patients along with teammate Matt Spaeth on Monday at the University of Chicago’s Corner Children’s Hospital. As you can see, Adams expressed his bewilderment at how someone can actually cop to being a Green Bay Packers fan, even if said fan happens to be a wee lad or lass battling a serious illness.
But before the gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands over Adams’ marker board inquiry, we have no idea in what context Adams wrote it. Instead of it being an ill-timed and insensitive taunt, it just as easily could have been a good-natured joke between Adams and the patient. My guess is it was the latter as opposed to the former, even when keeping in mind the heated rivalry between the Bears and Packers, one has to assume good taste would prevail in such a situation.
(Additional photos of Spaeth and Adams from their visit to the hospital here and here)
[photo courtesy of the University of Chicago's Corner Children's Hospital's Facebook Page, via Shutdown Corner]
Weirdest. Sport. Ever. According to the caption provided by The New York Times, this is “Sutandar Singh, top, of India, wrestling Shahid Khoyawala of Pakistan in a friendly bout in Lahore, Pakistan,” but if you ask me, this is nothing more than one barely-dressed guy getting the upper hand in some ill-conceived match by delivering a face-full of crotch to his opponent as he wrestles some dude in the dirt.
Awkward, indeed.
While this video is enjoyable to watch, it still doesn’t help me understand that darn game any better. Perhaps I’m in the minority, but rugby is completely corn-fusing. But look: LEGOs! Neato. Crap, I’d watch a summary of the goings-on in Canadian Parliament if they were done in LEGO form.
[via The Sun]
I will give you this: former PGA Tour golfer-turned-television analyst Paul Azinger is one brave man, and one needs to look no further for evidence of that fact than how he calmly — some may say brazenly — recently sneaked up on an alligator who was sunning itself on the banks of a water hazard and shoos it away with a poke from a golf club. Impressive. He’s like the Alligator Whisperer or something.
Azinger summarized the video with the caption, “How a Nole treats a gator,” referring to his status as a Florida State alum. Hmm, I wonder if that was also a slight dig at the rival Florida Gators? Hard to know, but either way, you have to admire Azinger’s guts. I can assure you there is no way I would have done that. But then again, crocodile-rasslin’ is my area of expertise.
[@PaulAzinger, via Devil Ball Golf]
In what I hope will become a regular feature here at the Sportress, here is the first edition of “The Best Photo Arianny Celeste Uploaded This Week Friday Funtime Feature.” The gist: as a favor to you guys, I will take on the unenviable task of poring through the many tweets from Arianny Celeste from the week in order to discover the tweet by which she uploaded what I believe to be the best photo of her. You see, the lovely and talented Miss Celeste has no qualms with uploading outstanding images of herself to the interwebs, whether they are from photo shoots, professional appearance or even candid pics of her making her way in this crazy world of ours. It is my opinion that this feature will be a nice way to wrap up the week before I send you mongrels out into the foreboding wilderness that is the weekend. I’m pretty sure you will enjoy and I expect no complaints.
So, there you have it. Just a gift from your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger-Man. Have a nice weekend, all.
Disclaimer: this photo is not from this week but from a few weeks ago, so in the first edition of the new feature I’m already cheating. Be mad at me all you want, but since I obviously didn’t do this last week or the week before that, I felt this was an excellent photo to kick things off with. I imagine you agree.
[via]
Courtesy of Dallas Cowboys safety Abe Elam comes this alarming image which privies us to the squalor Tony Romo wallows in while sitting in front of his locker. Not to be outdone, Romo’s locker neighbor, cornerback Frank Walker, similarly doesn’t seem to keen on tidying up after himself, presumably leaving the lowly locker room attendants responsible for picking up his dirty clothes, arranging his stinky shoes and hanging up his helmet. Truly disappointing. It resembles what you would expect to see in a teenage boy’s bedroom, not lying in front of a millionaire professional athletes.
Then again, one has to assume this is no different than how a majority of NFL players aversion to picking up after themselves manifests itself and how keeping an neat, organized locker is a foreign concept. It is entirely likely that NFL players have people picking up after them constantly, both at home and at the workplace, and without those people, they would find themselves living in a state of perpetual grunginess. How are we supposed to know? Without the courageous decision by Abe Elam to shine a damning light upon the wretched condition, cleanliness-wise, of the lockers of his teammates Romo and Walker, we never would have learned their dirty little secret. Who knows what’s hidden underneath those piles of filth? Frankly, I don’t want to know.
[via]
Ha. That’s ridoculous. Some might even say the persin responsoble for this gaffe should be held accountoble and termonated on the spot. But who am I to say? I’m just a lowly internet troglidyte.
I suppose this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Miller can’t even spell “Lite” correctly, for crying out loud. Oh, I know it’s simply a widely accepted variant on the spelling of the word “light,” but still. Darn those Madison Avenue hotshots and their highfalutin disregard for the rules.
[via City Paper via Deadspin]
And no, I am not referring to Football Jesus above, a role now inhabited in body and spirit by one Tim Tebow. I am referring to the real Jesus, the Biblical dude. Crazy.
To say Aaron Rodgers is having a phenomenal year, despite the high praise the compliment entails, is still something of an understatement: Aaron Rodgers is having a phenomenally unprecedented year as an NFL quarterback. Given that the Super Bowl-winning quarterback, through his nearly flawless and statistically mind-boggling play, has positioned the Green Bay Packers in prime position to make a run at another Lombardi Trophy; it really should come as no surprise that Rodgers is an adored figure all across the fine state of Wisconsin. But to the extent he is adored — and in light of the date that follows below, worshiped — is quite profound, some might argue perhaps even a bit troubling.
According to a recent study conducted by the Public Polling Policy, the only two people more popular in Wisconsin at the moment are Abraham Lincoln and Jesus.
The results from last month’s study revealed that Rodgers is viewed favorably by 89% of the residents of Wisconsin. The folks at the Public Polling Policy attempted to put those results in their proper perspective and tested out the views of American as a whole about other various revered figures. The only two people who beat out Rodgers’ 89% figure on a national spectrum were the aforementioned Abraham Lincoln at 91% and Jesus at 90%. In the end, the study found that Rodgers is viewed more favorably than “George Washington, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Santa Claus, Mohandas Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Steve Jobs. Incredible. And who says Americans hold sports stars in too high a regard?
In the end, like The Beatles in 1966 as alluded to in the cheeky quip from John Lennon, as of this moment, Aaron Rodgers is more popular than Jesus. At least in Wisconsin. Furthermore, I wonder if Lennon’s presupposition even held true in America’s Dairyland. For some reason, Wisconsin always seemed much more like a Herman’s Hermits kind of state to me. Nevertheless, much like The Beatles, Aaron Rodgers has the ability to make little girls cry, albeit for different reasons entirely.
[Thanks, Shutdown Corner]
You know, because they’re big in Europe right now, which comes as a total surprise that Novak Djokovic wouldn’t know about that.
Novak Djokovic, as a celebrity, should probably wear furs, too, as celebrities are desperate, insecure people. I guess what I’m getting at is this guy is a dandy, a real fancy boy!
Okay, I’ve exhausted my man purse/satchel video reference library. But two ain’t bad when you think about it, although I’m not quite sure how I arrived at the point where I had to make man purse references in regard to Novak Djokovic.
Oh yeah, the above photo. That’s why.
[via]
Yep, this is as good as it’s going to get for NBA action for the foreseeable future, albeit pseudo-NBA action. While amusing in a superficial way, the abject stupidity of it all is what makes this 25-foot dunk by Rudy Gay almost totally unwatchable — much like each and every report regarding the NBA lockout. Yeah.
And while this is the kind of stuff we should come to expect to see on a regular basis in the coming days, weeks and months as the lockout drags on and on and on, how about we mix it up a bit? Instead of having an average-sized man dunk on a rim far too high for him, how about we have a really tall guy try dunking on a rim far too low? Like Yao Ming trying to dunk on a 1-foot rim? Can you imagine how many bones Yao could fracture during that endeavor? I’ll give you the answer: lots of them.
[H/T The Basketball Jones]
Ha! Get it? I know, I know, it’s kind of weak joke but when you think about it, it’s absolutely true: the Toronto Blue Jays logo is new and old, as it somewhat resembles the one the team used from 1977-1996.
What? Did you think I was referring to something else as a weak joke? Jeez, you people are a bunch of Dodos.
The wave of nostalgia sweeping over me simply from looking at that more traditional-appearing logo causes me to yearn to the halcyon days of old. I wonder if the same is occurring within the Toronto Blue Jays organization. If that’s the case, the team should bring back Cito Gaston. Again.
[image via]
