Archive for November, 2011
GAH! Now that inept Peggy is messing with our NHL stars? First it was the Keeper of the Cup Guy, now he is tormenting Boston Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas and frustrating Chicago Blackhawks right winger Patrick Kane. This Peggy guy sure has some nerve, but I suppose it’s easy thing to carelessly befuddle NHL players when one is hiding out in some frozen Eastern European wasteland.
For the uninitiated, “Peggy” is an atrocious employee for USA Prime Credit who ineptly provides useless customer service to holders of USA Prime Credit credit cards, much to the cardholders’ exasperation, but since he does it in a Yakov Smirnoff-esque accent, we find it charming and humorous. Or at least we are supposed to. Oh, and I guess it is supposed to make viewers want to apply for a Discover card, but who is going to do something as ridiculous as that? Ha! In any event, the ads are subtly humorous and far better than many commercials that are pounded into our brains ad nauseum.
First up (above) is Tim Thomas’ entry into the NHL-Discover partnership. Unfortunately for Tim, he’s in “a Boston cab” and is having a little problem with his card. Peggy’s help, of course, is worthless and the female cabbie, despite having an unnatural, ustful attraction to the Boston Bruins goaltender, does not recognize him. Gross.
Up next, Patrick Kane’s interactions with Peggy.
Yamma hamma, get that guy a 50-gallon drum of Visine, stat!
Okay, attempts at humor are probably not apropos at this time, as this story is no laughing matter. But goodness gracious, get a look at his eyes. Whew.
By referring to New England Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman’s mug shot as not pretty, I mean to imply that he looks completely miserable, which I suppose should come as no surprise given he was arrested and charged with one count of indecent assault and battery after he allegedly groped a woman at a Boston nightclub late into the Halloween evening prior to the mug shot having been taken. Not that any time a person is having a mug shot taken of them should it be considered a good good thing — obviously — but Edelman’s mug shot certainly ranks up there as one of the worst within the voluminous sampling which comprises the extensive gallery of professional athlete mug shots.
With that in mind and given the tawdry details of the charges, one has to suspect that Edelman wishes he had just gone home long before he got all grabby during his Halloween hellraising. Understatement of the day right there.
But if you are beginning to feel sorry for Edelman, do not fret: he felt well enough while leaving Boston Municipal Court this morning to sign the helmet offered up by one idiot New England Patriots fan:
In case you missed it, the Military Bowl unleashed its brand-spanking-new mascot — with great fanfare, including its own Twitter page — upon the masses last week: Sgt. Stripes, which is nothing more than a football with cartoon eyes Photoshopped on it. It’s a bizarre mascot, to be sure, but check out how he’s already hobnobbing with big-time stars now, including none other than Baltimore Orioles legend and Hall of Famer Cal Ripken. Interesting.
And no, I have no idea what is going on here, either. I’m sure there has to be a reason, but I cannot think of a good one why the Cal Ripken is hanging out with partially-animated mascot for some crappy college football bowl game. Strange stuff.
[H/T D.C. Sports Bog]
Apparently, the Chinese — or more accurately, Guan Weijia, the vice director of the basketball department at Titan Sports, China’s premiere sports newspaper — are taking this NBA lockout stuff prettay prettay seriously. At least that’s what can be surmised from his comments Guan Weijia wrote for the Beijing News on Oct. 24 about the lockout entitled, “Everybody is a demon.” Here’s a sampling, courtesy of an enlightening and in-depth Bloomberg News report (via Game On!):
In it, he said that NBA Commissioner David Stern was “the demon of all demons and he is Satan who is the King of demons in this labor dispute.”
Jeez, tell us how you really feel, guy. And if you think Weijia is taking the players’ side in the NBA labor dispute, think again. Here’s what he wrote about Billy Hunter, executive director of the player’s union:
He is the spokesman of the employees, but he can’t work out a shrewd strategy … [he] has already prepared for surrender and the purpose of his of existence is to be played and “slaughtered” by Stern.
Yikes, such violent, borderline psychotic imagery. My guess is if Weijia had his druthers, he would banish both Stern and Hunter to the Land of Wind and Ghosts. And yes, I am well aware the Mr. Sparkle was a Japanese product — not Chinese — so spare me your complaints.
Lastly, if this story doesn’t scream Taiwanese Animation Treatment, well, uh, it at least mildly suggests it.
Basketball-Crazy China Sees Opportunity in NBA Lockout: Adam Minter [Bloomberg News (via Game On!)]
Perhaps “Zombie Marilyn Monroe” isn’t the best description of this costume, which is what the lovely Kate Upton referred to her Halloween costume as on her Twitter account (via Tweetscenter). Perhaps “Partially Decomposed (But Not In A Grotesque Way Which Would Cause Me To Appear Not Totally Hot) Marilyn Monroe” would have been a more apt description of said costume. I guess that would have been too many characters for the accompanying tweet.
Oh, and wait. In reference to the above title, I suppose there is actually one reason why I chose to upload this photo:
Pandering for pageviews. Hey, at least I freely admit it.
[image via @kateupton via Tweetscenter]
Spooky scalp, indeed. Antonio Garay, everybody’s favorite NFL player who drives a Hello Kitty-emblazoned smart car, rocked a fancy new hairstyle for the San Diego’s Monday Night Football showdown with the Kansas City Chiefs: Jack-O’-Lantern Head.
Nice look, but if you ask me, I’d say anyone who would do that to their own hair has to be at least a little out of his gourd…
(crickets)…
Hey, it was my last chance of the year to use that weaksauce reference. On second thought, I probably could find a way to incorporate it into a Thanksgiving-themed post, so you never know. Stay tuned.
[image via]
If there’s one story worthy of the Taiwanese Animation Treatment, it most assuredly is this ridiculous debacle. Both Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are practically cartoon characters to begin with anyway, so there you go.
Via NMA World Edition:
Reality TV star Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from basketball star Kris Humphries after just 72 days, citing ‘irreconcilable differences’.
Reports say the split was caused by Kris’ desire to settle down in Minnesota, while Kim was unwilling to leave LA.
Kris was said to be shocked and unaware Kim had filed for divorce. He has said he’ll do anything to save the marriage.
More cynical observers have noted that various endorements mean they have netted US$18 million or US$250,000 for each day of ‘wedded bliss.’ While others have said the whole thing was a sham from the beginning.
Some might argue that these videos are getting old, but don’t count me among them. I love these darn things. Bring ‘em on, I say.
Fantastic. Matt LaBelle, the head coach of Simi Valley (Calif.) High’s baseball team, had the unique idea last week to make it mandatory for players to show up in Halloween costumes for a Friday (Oct. 28) afternoon game. As you can plainly see from the photos, the players were more than happy to oblige and went all out in accommodating their coach’s request. Even the coaches got in on the Halloween hijinks, which makes the entire spectacle that much cooler.
And the players had some great ideas: Dumb and Dumber-inspired costumes with Harry and Lloyd in their fancy tuxes are my personal favorites, but a photo gallery featuring the costumed players in action follows:
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Preliminary test results indicate a motorist had an abnormally high” level of alcohol in his system when he sped through the streets of Moscow naked, a joyride during which he into 17 cars prior to his apprehension. [Yahoo!]
• In new book, Shaq explains why his relationship with Kobe went sour. [Ball Don't Lie]
• CC Sabathia agrees to new deal with the Yankees. Yay. [Rumors & Rants]
• A Mexican soccer team has replaced players’ names on jerseys with Twitter handles. [Off the Bench]
• The editors at BC are requesting that the gift they purchased for the Kris Humphries-Kim Kardsashian nuptials be returned. [Busted Coverage]
• The video game NBA Jam exists because of Terminator 2. Wait. What? [With Leather]
• Here’s Phillip Rivers losing the game for the Chargers last night. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Colts fans are already sporting Andrew Luck jerseys. What a bunch of rubes. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The funniest sports photos from the month of October. [Sports Pickle]
• Peter King is well aware of the fact that Bill Belichick is awesome. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Here’s a behind-the-scenes video from the Victoria’s Secret Holiday 2011 Angels TV commercial. [Bob's Blitz]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: ABBEVILLE, MS—Farmer Gary Stangler has painstakingly spelled out his marriage proposal in alfalfa seed and is hoping to meet a nice lady by springtime.
