Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• One question: was it 30,000 Victoria’s Secret catalogs? /Seinfeld reference [msnbc]

• Terrible story: Nationals catcher Wilson Ramos reportedly has been kidnapped in Venezuela. [Big League Stew]

• If you haven’t seen it, check out this dude shred a 90-foot wave. It’s a world record, after all. [Off the Bench]

• Cam Newton feels like a failure. Sucks to be him. [Shutdown Corner]

• Solid parenting: a mother delayed her son’s appendectomy to she could see Manny Pacquiao. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Brooklyn Decker is going to play a game of  H-O-R-S-E against Magic Johnson and James Worthy. [Busted Coverage]

• Here’s video of a parachutist landing on a soccer pitch. [The Slanch Report]

• And here’s Joakim Noah wearing a cowboy hat. Yee haw. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• How to dodge a dodgeball like a boss. [Sharapova's Thigh]

• Here are some alternate titles to the new LeBron James book, The Whore of Akron. [Sports Pickle]

• The Onion Headline of the Day:  Psychic Helps Police Waste Valuable Time