Archive for November, 2011
Just when you think you have the world on a string and everything is making sense, something like this comes along…and totally throws you for a loop! I mean, how in the heck does a world-famous professional hockey player keep landing super-attractive women? First it was some model, now this young lady. It makes no sense. At least to this hombre.
But there you have it: Alexander Ovechkin’s new girlfriend and according to his tweet (via Mr. Irrelevant), he’s quite taken with her:
Me and my girlfriend Maria….she is my queen!!!!
Awesome. Good for Ovie. Her name, you ask? Maria Kirilenko. And get this: she’s Russian, and a tennis player. Who has ever heard of an attractive Russian tennis starlet before? I surely haven’t. Wonders never cease.
Nevertheless, I wish them both the best of luck. I just hope Ovehckin can pull out of this slump he’s been in before he lashes out and throws another innocent victim under the bus.
According to a tweet from some guy named Alex Tallitsch (who?), a guy who used to work for the Green Bay Packers-centric digital magazine “Cheesehead TV” and is apparently plugged-in to all-things-Brett-Favre, a rumor is circulating that the Gunslinger’s person friend/pilot (whaa?) has said that Favre will unleash his Southern-fried observations and just-having-fun-out-there musings upon the Twitterverse. Strange days, indeed.
Now, this is obviously only a rumor, but even so, contemplating exactly what kind of things Favre would tweet about is nevertheless quite the hoot:
- just got off the John Deere – finished mowin’ the back 40 on the ol Favre compound, sippin iced tea
- Aaron Rodgers’ touchdown celebration? I invented that
- If you ain’t following @WeedVsSpeed you aint livin
- @SI_PeterKing: did you get my text message?
- @jennifersterger: why you no followin me, goshdurnit?
- does anybody know how to upload photos to this daggum Tweeter?
Hey, it could happen. Especially the following me on Twitter part.
[H/T RandBall]
Human Hockey Puck GoPro from griffinshockey on Vimeo.
Wow. It’s exactly as I imagined it. Except without the cold of the ice and being manhandled by creepy dudes wearing black and white-striped outfits, not to mention being smacked around at 100 mph around the rink. Oh, and the soulless existence which must surely encompass life as a frozen chunk of rubber. But other than that, exactamundo.
Courtesy of the Grand Rapids Griffins, the AHL affiliate of the Detroit Red Wings, comes this video of one of those intermission promotions where some lucky fan is placed on a disc on one end of the ice and subsequently propelled down the ice via a ginormous sling-shot into an inflatable goal. Neato.
There is no mention in the Puck Daddy post of a prize or anything for this contestant “scoring.” But if you ask me, being able to walk off the ice under one’s own power is a prize in and of itself. That bit is rife with danger. But that’s the lot in life as a puck, I reckon.
Sure, the naysayers nay’ed, but those of us who are lucky and open-minded enough to count ourselves among the hopeless romantics never stopped believing: Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are engaged once again! Yay! I will now dub them “Cutlerari” which kind of sounds like calamari but hey, what do you do?
You may recall that the two were engaged for some time, but in July, the wedding was called off, the love-flame that was their engagement was snuffed out and we all were heartbroken to learn that the union was not to be. I mean, if these kids can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?
But the rekindling of their romance has provided fuel to the flames — from the “best butt in football” tweet to Cutler wishing his then-ex-fiancee good luck on Dancing With The Stars — but now we have explicit confirmation courtesy of the soon-to-be Mrs. Jay Cutler’s Twitter account:
This time its official..Jay and I are engaged again 
She closed the tweet with a smiley face, so you know it’s true. And she’s apparently happy about it. As are we. As are we.
Just one piece of advice for the newly-reunited lovebirds: don’t ask Mike Martz to be your wedding planner. Not only will the nuptials be overly complicated, it will take far too long to get everything down in time. Also, I don’t mean to talk out of turn, but that Martz guy appears to be quite the arrogant control freak. Not someone you want running your wedding. A bachelor party, though? Maybe.
Who woulda thunk it, right? But apparently, it’s true: a high school in Massachusetts is the site of a hazing ritual that authorities are referring to as a “humiliating sex game.” Apparently, the Easton (Mass.) Police Department is in the process of investigating allegations that nine members of the Andover High basketball team participated in a disgusting hazing ritual focused upon two younger members of the squad.
According to an Eagle Tribune report (via Game On!), the alleged incidents occurred in July at an overnight basketball camp held at held at Stonehill College in Easton, Mass., and the details of what supposedly happened are profoundly disturbing:
A source close to the investigation confirmed nine members of the basketball team were attending the camp when two young players were coaxed into playing a game called “wet biscuit” in one of the dorm rooms. The loser of the game had to eat an Oreo cookie covered with a bodily fluid.
Yep. Not surprisingly, no one at Andover High is commenting on the investigation, but a statement on the school’s website reads that “A full investigation commenced immediately upon the administration’s receipt of allegations and is nearly completed.” Andover High basketball coach David Fazio was made aware of the shocking allegations on Nov. 11 by another coach and proceeded to speak with the “distraught” victim who came forward. Fazio, who is entering his 22nd season as coach at the school, is refusing comment at this time but his attorney issued the following statement on his behalf:
“Mr. Fazio acted promptly, compassionately, professionally, legally and morally by responding to the boy and his parents, some of the parents of other boys involved, to the Andover Police and his superiors all at the first opportunity,” Morris said. “Mr. Fazio did everything possible to deal with this 4-month-old situation. This is not a school-related issue.”
According to the report, the boy — who is one of the two alleged victims — had not told anything to his parents before the meeting with Coach Fazio.
Steve Gibbs, the director of Hoop Mountain, the camp where the alleged incidents occurred, has not responded to telephone or email inquires.
I am sure that more disturbing allegations and details will emerge as authorities wrap up their investigation, but for now, if these allegations are proved correct, allow me to ask this one question: What in the hell is wrong with people?
"I wish I would have placed that bet."
It sounds like a no-brainer now, but you have to give credit to an anonymous California man who placed a $10 prop bet that the Indianapolis Colts would not win one stinking game before the NFL season started. The originally nominal but potentially incredibly profitable wager, highlighted by Beyond the Bets (via Off the Bench), was made by someone known as @Pistol_Pete82, some guy who all that is know about him is that he’s a self-employed California man.
@Pisto_Pete82′s rationale for the bet, which was set at 1,000-to-1 odds when he made it on Aug. 23:
“My rationale was simple: Peyton has made a ton of money in his career already, why chance it if this thing is serious?” Pete said in an e-mail to BTB. “We’re not talking about some ligament damage in a knee, we are talking about his spine and neck. There is no way a multi-million dollar enterprise like Peyton, Inc., is going to take any chances or rush a neck injury.
“I made the bet a few days before the announcement of the second surgery,” Pete said. “At the time, they said he was doubtful for week 1, I think.”
In hindsight, quite the prescient wager. It is far more than likely that the Colts will drop their final five games — perhaps even a certitude now that the squad is trotting out Dan Orlovsky to run the offense — so the question is, what will Pete do if with his winnings if the Colts go winless?
“I think I would try and convince my wife to let me take a few grand to Vegas for the NFL playoffs, pay a bill or two, and give the kids a solid christmas bonus,” Pete said. “Aside from taxes, of course.”
Ahhh, come on, Pete! You got to let that cash ride, dude! You got the feeling, man! Don’t let that sweet mojo you’ve built up fizzle out! Jeez, what kind of gambler is this guy anyway? Oh, not a degenerate gambler? That makes sense then.
Quite the ruckus ensued during a Top 14 rugby match when Lucien Harinordoquy, the father of Biarritz No8 Imanol Harinordoquy, strolled onto the pitch to defend his son when a bit of a fracas broke out between players on his son’s team and the rugby club from Bayonne. If that wasn’t enough, once Papa Harinordoquy was on the pitch, he attempted to strike one of the Bayonne players, Jean Jo Marmouyet. Prior to landing a mighty blow, Harinordoquy was tackled by Bayonne player Benjamin Boyet.
After the match, Boyet defended the act of taking the old man to the ground, which may remind some of Pedro Martinez’s takedown of Don Zimmer during the 2003 ALCS. Courtesy of a report from The Guardian (via Deadspin):
“I tackled him because he was attacking one of my team-mates,” Boyet told L’Equipe. “I put him to the ground and [the Biarritz hooker] Benoît August told me to stop, because it was Imanol’s father.”
The elder Harinordoquy, to his credit, regretted his actions and apologized, saying:
“My apologies to the Aguilera crowd – Bayonne and Biarritz spectators – to both teams and their staff, to the French League and Fédération as well as to the world of rugby in general. I was under pressure and for other reasons, I lost control. I regret my behaviour.”
Apologies may not be enough, as Bayonne president Michel Cacouault has said he will lodge a complaint against Harinordoquy, saying the father’s actions were “intolerable.” Perhaps next time, Papa Harinordoquy will just stay in his seat and let the boys be boys, not to mention allow his son to fight his own battles. Still, you have to admire the old guy’s moxie. I bet he was quite the scrapper back in his glory days.
"I got three butts. Do you want a fourth?"
The No. 3-ranked Duke Blue Devils were in Columbus, Ohio on Tuesday night to take on the No. 2 Ohio State Buckeyes in what was originally considered — at least before tipoff — as one of the more tantalizing games on the early college basketball schedule. What resulted was nothing short of total dominance by the Buckeyes, who thrashed the Blue Devils by the lopsided score of 85-63. While it was not shocking that the home team prevailed in one of the marquee match-Mike Krzyzewskups of the ACC-Big Ten Challenge, how easily Ohio State handled Duke was a bit surprising, so much so that Mike Krzyzewski would have had some difficulty explaining exactly what transpired on the court if it hadn’t been for the word, “butt.”
To wit (via FOX Sports Ohio):
“Sometimes, you just get your butt kicked. I’ve had my butt kicked before, and we’ve kicked some butt. Tonight, my butt is sore.”
Impressive. In only 23 words, Coach K managed to incorporate the word “butt” an astounding four times. That’s commitment to — nay, obsession with — butts. A measured response, to be sure. In other words, some days are good, others? Not so good. But that sure is a lot of butts, isn’t it? But to be fair, as the great philosopher Pee Wee Herman once said, “Everyone I know has a big butt.” So come on, Coach K, let’s talk about your big butt. And how it got kicked and is quite sore now.
Butt.
Wait. What? Okay, I’m simply trying to play catchup here, but apparently, according to Jocks & Stiletto Jill, Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards and his girlfriend, LaStarya, recently participated in a photo shoot for some magazine and liked one of the photos from the spread so much — I am assuming it was an interpretation of this one right here — they decided to commission an artist to create a more artistic representation of the pic by way of putting brush to canvas to come up with the stunning portrait you see above. Wow. I know Edwards resides in Atlanta, but talk about a “Dirty Bird.”
While I don’t consider myself in the least some kind of astute patron of the arts, I am nevertheless willing to venture to guess that prior to hiring the artist, Ray Edwards did not utter the following phrase as a condition: “The key word is tasteful.”
There you go. Not much to add here to this nice little photo of the new Miami Marlins manager giving his beloved dog, an English Bulldog named DL (who was given that name because he’s lazy, apparently), a kiss on the cover of ESPN The Magazine, other than that I am relieved that’s DL’s tongue, not Ozzie’s. Because that would be weird. Well, at least a bit weirder than posing for a cover of a magazine while sharing an open-mouthed kiss with a dog.
[Grazie, Larry Brown Sports]
(photo courtesy of the Courier-Journal)
Submitted for your approval, I give you one Thomas Trinkle, an 18-year-old senior at Floyd Central High School in Georgetown, Ind. In a case of “Gotta Support The Team” meets sports gear-based obsession, young Mr. Trinkle has worn a Colts top — more often than not a jersey — every single day of his life since he was in fifth grade. That’s nearly 3,000 straight days in which he has sported an Indianapolis Colts-themed top. That’s dedication, friends.
It all began way back in elementary school when Trinkle bet three of his pals $5 that he could wear Colts gear for the remainder of the school year. He did, but laments that he “never got paid.”
On the rare days when wearing a Colts jersey wouldn’t be appropriate, Trinkle figures out a way to incorporate some kind of Colts clothing into his outfit. For instance, on the day he had his senior pictures taken, the Colts superfan donned a Colts tie. Impressive.
And his commitment to the team has not gone unnoticed: Trinkle — a season ticket holder with his dad — was introduced during a recent game at the Lucas Oil Stadium, featured on the stadium’s big screens and was profiled in the Colts’ game-day magazine. Not bad for having the luxury of not having to put one thought into what you’re going to wear for nearly 3,000 days. It’s a good gig if you can get it. Except for maybe this season. The constant reminder of the crappy team he roots for must be tough, but as he said of his commitment, ““I like challenges.” Indeed.
[Thanks, Off the Bench]
Swilling beer? Check. Rocking the Neckbeard? Check. Incredibly bitter about his unceremonious exit from Denver? Check. Suffering profound distress as a consequence from being replaced as quarterback of the Broncos by Tim Tebow? Oh, that’s a check.
It’s all quite amusing and the guy is a pretty good facsimile for the Kyle Orton, but for me, the money quote has to be, which comes towards the end: “I just want you to remember this, Denver: if it wasn’t for me, there’d be no Tim Tebow.” Truer words were never spoken.
Rock on, Fake Kyle Orton Guy. I look forward to your next video…after your NFL doppelganger is released by the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah.
[H/T Shutdown Corner]
To be honest, the results aren’t entirely surprising nor incredibly amusing. I just enjoy all the red and not much blue. Colors are funny.
But to be fair to the voters in this particular ESPN SportsNation poll, they had two things going against them from the get-go:
- They live in Louisiana; and
- They actually take the time to vote in SportsNation polls.
And if you were not aware, in reference to the second item on the list, that’s an even bigger waste of time than writing for a sports blog.
[H/T Sports Pickle]
Of course the wee lad doesn’t suffer from “Manning Face.” What kind of person would say such a thing? I can be a cynical and mean old coot, but there is no way I am going to poke fun at the adorable mug of an infant. And Little Baby Manning is most certainly that.
Sunday was a special day in Indianapolis Colts Land, not only because the Colts make another step towards winning the Suck for Luck contest, but also because Peyton Manning’s long-time favorite receiver, Marvin Harrison, was inducted into the Colts Ring of Fame. It was the first time 8-month old Marshall and his twin sister Mosley have appeared in front of the press. Only Marshall was provided a locker room tour, though. Mosley stayed behind with her mother.
And as far as I’m concerned, despite the many amusing instances of Peyton Manning displaying the infamous “Manning Face”, let us hope that Marshall – not to mention sister Mosley – never inherit the trademark, primitive, goofy-looking grimaces of their proud papa. Hopefully, as far as bizarre facial contortions are concerned, they take after their Uncle Cooper as opposed to Papa Peyton or Uncle Eli:
Holy crap on a cracker, would you take a look at that thing? It has the appearance of something that was strapped to a crash test dummy before researchers slammed it repeatedly into a brick wall at 100 mph.
The photo comes courtesy of Baltimore Ravens fullback Vonta Leach’s teammate, running back Ray Rice, who tweeted, “This is crazy lol @vleach44 has to get a new helmet because of the damage he did to his old one.” And how. My guess is that Rice is extremely grateful for the damage Leach has inflicted upon his helmet, as most of those dents and gouges likely came as a consequence of Leach recklessly leading Rice through a hole. Brutal.
