Archive for October, 2011
Either this guy, Jorgen Persson, is really focused on his match or we have evidence of the first Cyborg Ping Pong Player.
Nope, that’s pretty much it. I got nothing else. And sure, purists might criticize the above headline for not referring to the grand game as table tennis, but wouldn’t that mean he would have to be standing on the table? See, much like Jorgen Persson, I have an eye for things like these.
[image via]
Come on, Lions fans, Matt Millen’s reign of terror over your beloved football franchise is ancient history. Look how far your team has come since those dark, depressing days. If you can’t laugh now, you never will.
With this kind of intrepid reporting, let’s sust give them the Pulitzer already. The Boston Globe, in its continuing quest to further legitimize their hard-hitting, anonymous sources-heavy report on the alleged dysfunction that permeated the clubhouse of the Boston Red Sox over the past season, have published a high-minded journalistic masterpiece on their website which provides side-by-side photos from early in the season and later of pitchers Jon Lester, Josh Beckett and John Lackey in order to determine if the three packed on the pounds over the long 162-game season where they allegedly spent a large chunk of time on their off days during games swilling beer, chowing on fried chicken and playing video games in the clubhouse. Also, for some reason, the Globe included before-and-after photos of Clay Buckholz, Tim Wakefield and Jason Varitek, presumably just to create some kind of non-fatty juxtaposition.
As you can see above, Jon Lester certainly appears like he was eating well over the summer, going from a relatively-average-sized face to a puffy-cheeked chubby, who, as an aside, kind of resembles Blaster from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
Photos of Beckett and Lackey follow.
Unless La Liga’s Adil Rami is giving his opponent, Manchester City’s Edin Dzeko an impromptu hernia examination, I’d say that warrants a red card and a thorough scrubbing of his right hand. Gross.
[via Sportpost]
"I'll get you, random Eastern European Terrorist Guy!!!"
According to a report in the Miami Herald, Tom Rothman, co-chairman and CEO of Fox Filmed Entertainment, is kicking around the idea of having Tim Tebow star as Bruce Willis’ son in the upcoming sequel in the Die Hard series franchise, tentatively entitled, A Good Day to Die Hard.
In a tongue-in-cheek manner, Rothman briefly touched upon the out-of-the-box idea during an appearance on Jim Rome’s radio program.
“What do you think of Tebow in the lead?’’ Rothman asked Rome and the listening audience. Rome did not give Tebow a thumbs up.
“He might be too nice,” Rome said, referring to Tebow’s wholesome reputation. “But no one would work harder to make it work.” Rothmans says, regardless, he expects many young Hollywood actors to audition for the part. “We have to find just the right guy.”
Yes, no one would make it harder to make it work. Because everything Tebow has achieved in his life has been through hard work, determination and grittiness. In fact, why don’t they get Wes Welker to sign on in some sort of sidekick role? Now that’s a guy who knows how to give it all with the requisite amount of grit.
With all that in mind, Rothman did say that many Hollywood actors will be auditioning for the role of McClane’s son, so the chance of Tebow landing the part is more or less a long shot. But then again, everything Tebow has accomplished in his life was initially believed to be a long shot. The fact that Tebow can’t act probably will hurt his chances, too, but it didn’t seem to damage Bruce Willis’ long career.
Broncos QB Tim Tebow being considered to star in ‘Die Hard’ franchise [Miami Herald]
The reputation of Philadelphia sports fans as having the potential to act like cretins is well-documented, almost to the point that to stereotype each and every fan of the Phillies, Eagles, Flyers and 76ers as buffoons borders on the absurd. With that in mind, to rip and categorize an entire city’s legion of sports fans and their typical behavior is irresponsible at best, yet the performance the Flyers put on Wednesday night inside the Wells Fargo certainly will not help elevate the Philly pro sports fan base’s out of its already negatively-perceived reputation.
During an intermission between periods in the game against the Vancouver Canucks in the team’s home opener, a Hockey Fights Cancer public service announcement appeared on the arena’s jumbotron. The PSA featured Pittsburgh Penguins center Sidney Crosby, Chicago Blackhawks center Jonathan Toews and Buffalo Sabres goalie Ryan Miller, disliked players on teams which have had bitter rivalries with the Flyers over the years. So Flyers fans did what came naturally when they saw those players: they booed them, despite the fact they were representing and speaking to a worthwhile cause which I am confident most Flyers fans wouldn’t boo had it not been for those players’ appearances in the spot.
Sadly, this is yet another example of an event that will damage the reputation of all of Philadelphia’s passionate sports fans. Too bad the folks in the crowd on Wednesday night didn’t take a moment to think about what exactly they were booing.
Flyers fans boo rivals; alas, it’s during an anti-cancer commercial [Puck Daddy]
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• The following exchange occurred between the mother of a family who got lost in a supposedly creepy corn maze outside of Salem, MA and a 911 operator:
Woman: “Hi, I just called. I’m still stuck at Connors Farms. I don’t see anybody. I am really scared. It’s really dark and we’ve got a 3-week-old baby with us.”
Dispatcher: “Just relax. Calm down. Your husband is with you right?”
Woman: “Yes, but my baby?”
Dispatcher: “OK. I understand and the police officer is on the way.”
Woman: “We thought this would be fun. Instead it’s a nightmare. I don’t know what made us do this. It was daytime when we came in. And I never take my daughter out. This is the first time. Never again.”
Ha. Slack-jawed yokels. [msnbc]
• Michael Vick is none-too-pleased with Peter King’s comments. Join the club. [Shutdown Corner]
• Is Kevin Youkilis dating Tom Brady’s sister question mark? [Larry Brown Sports]
• World record-holding Squash ball hitting guy drills his brother in the back, leaves a hole. [Busted Coverage]
• The reaction to LeBron’s tweet about playing in the NFL was predictably snarky. [Off the Bench]
• Extreme hot tubbing looks far too extreme for this hombre. [With Leather]
• The NBA lockout has totally harshed President Obama’s mellow. [Ball Don't Lie]
• The 14 greatest foul ball fails of all-time. [Ranker]
• How LeBron James and George W. Bush have a lot in common. [Pick-and-Pop Culture]
• The Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders visited the Air Force. [Unathletic]
• The St. Louis Cardinals Rally Squirrel: A Study. [Big League Stew]
• NFL.com keeps on bringing the hard-hitting news. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Lone Post On Jaguars Fan Message Board Requests Directions To Stadium
Like his predecessor before him, the Rally Monkey, the Rally Squirrel has captured the hearts and minds of MLB fans, particularly in St. Louis, where the Cardinals faithful hope to ride the good vibes of the little critter to their second World Series title in the last six years. And you know the little guy has finally arrived when MLB gives him his own postseason commercial. MLB.com’s tagline for the video:
The St. Louis Squirrel is proof that anything can happen in the MLB Postseason
Ain’t that the truth. Even so, if you ask me, the entire concept is a bit on the a-corny side.
[H/T Hardball Talk]
Finally, like a beacon shining through the dark, dank and greasy world which features the fearless flinging of frankfurters, the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council has emerged as a perfectly steamed ray of hope, as it has issued a statement formally condemning the deplorable actions of Brandon Kelly and his egregious misuse of a hot dog as an improvised weapon of mass consumption. Er, destruction.
The sternly-worded statement issued Oct. 10, in its entirety (via Waggle Room):
Washington, D.C.– The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council today declared an act of violence against Tiger Woods that involved a hot dog ‘reprehensible.’
“The use of an iconic food in an act of violence against an iconic golfer like Tiger Woods is reprehensible — and a violation of hot dog etiquette. Some might call the thrower a ‘wiener,’ but we’d say that’s too high a compliment,” said Council President Janet Riley . Hot dogs are meant to be enjoyed – not weaponized.”
For more information about proper hot dog etiquette, visit http://www.hot-dog.org/.
Reprehensible, indeed. Thank you, National Hot Dog & Sausage Council for your unique, knowledgeable and much-needed perspective on the ethical quandary we humans find ourselves in when one of our own wields a wiener as a weapon. And Council President Janet Riley: truer words have never been spoken. Because of this newly-realized clarity, I will never refer to a person with a wanton disregard for appropriate hot dog etiquette as a “wiener” ever again. Consider this casing closed. Er, case. Sorry, all of a sudden, I’m really hungry and have a hankering for some Vienna Beef. Yum.
National Hot Dog and Sausage Council Calls Tiger Woods Hot Dog Incident ‘Reprehensible’ and a Violation of Hot Dog Etiquette [National Hot Dog & Sausage Council (via Waggle Room)]
Well, why in the heck wouldn’t it? There is a whole bunch of goodness in this latest entry in superb Taiwanese Animation-based reporting, but first, from NMA World Edition:
The collective bargaining agreement between NBA players and owners expired on July 1, initiating a lockout.
Players currently receive 57% of basketball-related income. Owners are lobbying for a more even split.
Owners claim most teams in the league are bleeding money, saying they lost a combined $300 million last year.
Critics are skeptical of the grim picture owners paint. Teams are able to earn millions through local TV deals.
The players aren’t exactly hurting, either. They’re fighting a hard salary cap that would limit their extravagant contracts.
The first two weeks of the season have been cancelled, prompting some players to join foreign leagues. We in Taiwan say, “long live the lockout!”
Funny, I’d say there is a considerable proportion of Americans who agree with the Taiwan citizens’ sentiment, but moving on, some notes from the video report, in bullet point form:
- Why is David Stern portrayed as a decrepit, ghoulish and sinister old man? Other than for symbolic purposes, of course.
- Speaking of Stern, his sound defensive technique against
Kobe BryantDerek Fisher is impeccable. Who knew the guy could ball? - More on Stern (no, I didn’t just call him a moron…get it?), few thing have a more depraved appearance than a psychotic league commissioner shredding a table while wielding a chainsaw to cut up a pizza. I wonder if it was Papa John’s, or has that chain only cornered the NFL market?
- The depiction of the Clippers, Bucks and Pistons as logos on legs in hospital beds is a little unsettling.
- Even more unsettling: Stern marrying Time Warner — which is portrayed as an ugly bald man — and then carrying his blushing bride into the Honeymoon Sweet. Bow-chick-a-bow-wow.
- LeBron’s crown getting replaced by a hard cap to illustrate a hard salary cap. Ha. I get it.
Hey, it’s funny. Now that it’s been put in its proper animated perspective, the issues surrounding the NBA lockout makes a lot more sense. I think. Thanks, Taiwanese Animation!
Holy cow, that is one tough young lady right there. And that was one vicious slide tackle to which she was on the receiving end. So much so, she almost did a complete flip, which isn’t surprising considering the opponent who took her out was about twice her size, not to mention quite aggressive. Where was the referee on that one?
But if you think that’s going to prevent this young warrior from competing, think again. She picks herself up, doesn’t even bother to take the time to brush herself off or compose herself and promptly gets back into the play…until she’s involved in additional episode of heavy pitch contact, crashing to the ground in a heap of humanity including herself, her slide-tackling rival and another teammate. What heart.
Clearly, there is not one thing that can happen on the pitch that will stop this little firecracker. She keeps her compete level needle up in the red until the whistle is blown. I just hope my baby daughter has half the competitive spirit this little whippersnapper possesses. Well done.
[H/T Sports Pickle]
I know, it’s a mind-blowing development, but try and keep up here. After all, Alex Rodriguez’s reputation as an all-around good guy is well documented, right?
After crapping the bed by batting .111 in the ALDS against the Detroit Tigers, New York Yankees anti-slugger Alex Rodriguez is taking some well-deserved R&R down Florida way. You know, just trying to get away from it all: the pressures, the stress, the shirking of the responsibility of actually performing respectably in one’s job. It can be quite exhausting.
Thanks to the New York Post, we have photographic documentation of the fact that A-Rod took some much-needed time off from everything in order to enjoy some golfing in Miami, in between dismissively waving off a fan (above) with a hint of outright hostility and irritation and playing peek-a-boo with a photographer behind a parking meter (below). Great guy, that A-Rod. But the photos of him with a fat stogie plugged in his piehole at the golf course truly capture the essence of his douchiness and exemplify why he will never be loved by Yankees fans, nor the general public at large.
A potentially frightening scene occurred Tuesday night during Game 3 of the ALCS between the Detroit Tigers and Texas Rangers at Comerica Park. During an at-bat, Josh Hamilton took a mighty swing, so hard in fact that the hunk of lumber slipped out of his hands and proceeded to rocket into the stands on the first base line.
A Detroit Tigers fan was unfortunately struck with the bat, but the act he put on following impact, in my opinion, bordered on shameful. Once he retrieved the bat by snatching it out of the hands of a woman seated behind him, the man put on quite the performance acting as if had he taken his hands off his head and lifted it, his brains would have begun leaking out of his ears. Sad.
How delightfully embarrassing for the San Francisco 49ers great. Last week, TMZ had some grainy video of the flash mob Steve Young’s wife, Barbara, sprung upon him during a dinner celebrating the Hall of Famer’s 50th birthday, but thanks to Flash Mob America (because if there’s one thing that needs a national governing body, it’s the increasingly-annoying flash mob craze), we have high-quality video of the scene, all the way from the first act where Young has no idea what is about to happen, to the second act featuring the performance to finally, the third act where Young’s reaction to the freaky scene is captured. Sad to say he looks pretty impressed by it all.
But in the end, I suppose it is a good thing the entire performance has been preserved on video for future viewings by the ESPN NFL analyst. Given the amount of times Steve Young’s brain was knocked around during his impressive career, it’s entirely possible he didn’t even remember it the next day. Personally, I’d say that would be a nice benefit of experiencing several concussions during one’s adult life, but then again, I’m not a Mormon.
[H/T The Big Lead (by way of Sports Grid)]
