Archive for October, 2011
Don’t know who the lovely gal is pictured in the above photo? Don’t feel bad. Unless you have a young daughter who watches the Disney Channel or you’re just a flat-out weirdo, the fact that you have no idea who Demi Lovato is shouldn’t cause you too much concern about your relative pop culture hipness. Nineteen-year-old Lovato, one of the latest in a long line of young starlets to come off the Disney factory star-making assembly line, is best known for her roles in the Sonny with a Chance television program and Camp Rock movies. But more than anything, it illustrates quite convincingly that Major League Baseball is completely out of touch and has no idea what group of people comprises its target market.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m happy for the young lady for the tremendous opportunity, especially in light of the personal struggles she has emerged from and seemingly triumphed over in the last few years. So best of luck to Miss Lovato in that regard. But can anybody actually argue that her selection as anthem singer for Game 5 of the World Series at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington makes any sense other than the fact she hails from Dallas? I’ll give the MLB at least a pass in that regard, but other than that I don’t get it. Notwithstanding the fact that the average baseball fan couldn’t give a rip who sings the national anthem in the first place, it goes to show how little thought goes into the decision. Perhaps this is all much ado about nothing, but one would think they would try to find someone with broader appeal for such a showcase event.
I especially enjoy how the AP report explains how Lovato landed the gig:
Lovato got a boost from her big sister Dallas, who tweeted during Game 1 that her younger sister should sing the national anthem during the Major League Baseball championship series.
The Power of Social Media compels you, Major League Baseball!
If it were only that easy, right? Man, I wish having my brother tweet something about how I should get the chance to sing the national anthem at a World Series game. Then again, I’m not a singer and my brother isn’t named after a city. It’ s not like any rational person is going to pay attention to the tweets of some guy named Six Flags, for crying out loud.
Demi Lovato to sing nat’l anthem at World Series [USA Today]
Some variation of “Star Wars Night” is a time-tested staple all the way back to a long time ago and even in galaxies far, far away among the minor league sports league set, but the Chewbacca jersey the NAHL’s (North American Hockey League) Port Huron Fighting Falcons will wear for their second annual incarnation of “Star Wars Night” on Oct. 22 is beyond awesome.
Courtesy of a Fighting Falcons press release (via Puck Daddy):
This year’s jersey features the mighty wookiee Chewbacca, with Rebel Alliance logos on the shoulders, and Millennium Falcon silhouettes around the waist. A pink breast cancer awareness ribbon appears on the upper left of the jersey’s front side. The jerseys were designed by Great Lakes Garrison’s Scott Withers.
Brilliant. But if the Fighting Falcons do not seize the wonderful opportunity presented them and replace the traditional goal horn with the beloved Wookiee’s trademark, gutteral “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!”, I’ll be profoundly disappointed.
Well would you look at that? Like the Shroud of Turin or Jesus’ image appearing in a tortilla in Guatemala, Tim Tebow’s revered image has made its appearance on the cover of the upcoming issue of ESPN the Magazine. I’m not certain whether or not the Vatican will investigate this holy phenomena to determine if it is in fact a miracle, but I think we can all agree the sight of it is pretty awe-inspiring.
Think about it: fresh off of pulling off the miraculous feat of contributing to the Dolphins reaching a sellout for its upcoming game against the Broncos solely due to his enigmatic presence, Tebow lands the cover of the issue which was originally intended to be the NBA Preview issue of ESPN the Mag. Officially, ESPN is referring to the change in issue content as “Plan B” but I think we all know what is going on here: the stars have aligned, the prophecy has been fulfilled and even if there was not an NBA lockout, ESPN would have had no choice to push back the NBA Preview due to the Good News of Tebow’s Ascension. Wondrous.
And if you think I’m going overboard with overt, semi-sarcastic religiosity regarding how Tebow has risen and made the ascension to magazine coverboy, check out how ESPN is pimping a Tebow article contained therein, where Tebow is referred to — perhaps in a joking manner, I hope — as “the perfect vessel” and opens with the following introduction, “WHAT SHALL WE say about the kingdom of Timothy Richard Tebow?”:
The latest issue of ESPN The Magazine on newsstands Friday, October 21 features a sermon on back-up-turned-savior Tim Tebow in “Tebow 10:23,”…
Tebow 10:23, as in Oct. 23, the day when Tebow takes his rightful place on the throne, where he will at long last be able to survey his Holy NFL kingdom. Presumably. In fact, I’m pretty sure “Tebow 10:23″ will replace “John 3:16″ as the go-to sign which will be waved proudly at Denver Broncos games for all eternity. Or at least until Tebow is benched in Week 10.
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Earlier this week, I highlighted the story regarding the kerfuffle that arose between Notre Dame and Chapman (Kas.) High School which involved the university demanding that the school stop using the Fighting Irish’s trademarked leprechaun logo.
Making the story even juicier and more newsworthy was that fact that a few years ago, the high school and surrounding community were ravaged by tornadoes and that Chapman just recently reopened earlier this year, making Notre Dame’s heavy-handed demands appear even more absurd and silly, although it has to be pointed out that the university was acting well within their rights to protect their intellectual property. Nevertheless, Notre Dame probably could have handled the entire situation a bit more delicately, thereby avoiding the bad press the school is now receiving.
Thankfully, the folks at NMA World Edition elected to take on the multifaceted, complex story and report on it in a manner only they are capable of doing. The highlight of this particular installment of Taiwanese Animation Treatment most certainly is the sinister-looking leprechaun who terrorizes a memorabilia-maker with a whip. That little bugger is downright frightening. I know I wouldn’t even dream of messing with that demonic, yet diminutive creature, that’s for sure.
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Zing! That’s some Grade-A Alex Rodriguez Haterade right there. Well played.
(Note: I elected to go with the “Khadafy” spelling of the former Libyan dictator’s name as that’s the way the Post spelled it as opposed to the way I usually spell it, the lesser-known of the many versions out there: “Glsidhtgjwfy.”)
[image via]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• One Million Moms, a Mississippi-based group that appears to be a humorless bunch hellbent on ruining everybody’s fun, are attempting to strong-arm various grocery stores and retailers into not selling Ben & Jerry’s new “Schweddy Balls” flavor, which of course is based on the classic Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin, saying the name is nothing but locker room humor not intended to be viewed by children. Get a grip, ladies. [msnbc]
• I know Game 2 of the World Series was played last night, but this edition of The Dugout about Game 1 is too good not to mention. [With Leather]
• Another Raiders fan got an Al Davis tattoo. [Busted Coverage]
• Aaron Rodgers lost a bet to Clay Matthews and was forced to wear USC Trojans gear. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Oh no! The Lingerie Football League might be in trouble if the walkout staged by members of Toronto Triumph is any indication. [Off the Bench]
• Did St. Louis BBQ entice vegetarian Prince Fielder into feasting upon ribs during the NLCS? [Big League Stew]
• Former NBAer Mark Madsen is a burrito thief? And here I thought he was only an awesome dancer. [The Basketball Jones]
• A Denver sports commentator goes trolling, attempts to enrage Avalanche, NHL fans. [Puck Daddy]
• The best soccer celebration of all-time. [Unathletic]
• An Asian Champions League brawl begins with a kick to the head. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Help end the NBA lockout by buying a candy bar. Wait. What? [Ball Don't Lie]
• Here’s video of an outstanding crash from a college water skiing competition. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: New Decoy Website Launched To Lure Away All Moronic Internet Commenters
I suppose it goes without saying that if you want somebody to break down the most metal moments from the MLB season that was in 2011, there are few candidates more deserving than (former? current?) Skid Row frontman and self-described Heavy Metal Superstar (along with a sign of the horns display) Sebastian Bach. And if you think for one minute that Bach is just going to lolly-gaggle through the entire presentation while so obviously reading off cue cards that it borders on comic absurdity, well, you would be absolutely correct.
But that’s not all. Sebastian Bach not only highlights the “most metal” (“as in completely ass-kicking” — his words), the rocker is also going to bring you the most “totally non-metal” moments (“as in kind of lame,” duh). It truly is three-and-a-half-minutes of pure awkwardness.
At the same time, it’s quite a high-profile gig for the aging frontman. I mean, how many “Top 100 Most Metal (insert something here) Moments from (insert era here)” countdowns on VH1?
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some love letters in the sand to compose.
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Ouch. Instead of University of Alabama at Birmingham, UAB should stand for Unable to Attend in Body.
I’m not kidding, that turnout is truly Marlins-like.
[H/T 30fps.mocksession.com (via SB Nation)]
Wow. Just wow. Consider my mind blowed.
This is Flula Borg and he will assimilate you with his frenetic rants regarding his favorite golfer, Rory McIlroy.
Flula’s Facebook page indicates he is currently residing in Los Angeles but his hometown is Erlangen, Germany. With that in mind, you might remember him from the unhinged brilliance that was his homage to fellow countryman, Dirk Nowitzki, where he refers to the NBA star as “German Moses.” If you haven’t seen it, I’d advise you to spend the few minutes it takes to view it in order to have your brain adequately warped by it. It’s well worth it.
But I have to admit, Flula’s ode to Rory, aptly titled “Why Rory McIlroy Is Great,” in its own twisted way, kicks the craziness up a notch. Some samplings of Flula’s lyrical prowess:
- Rory McIlroy: you are young and you are very good, like a prodigy, prodigy, like Doogie Howser
- Rory McIlroy is like the baby in Look Who’s Talking — yah — John Travolta is like Phil Mickelson, old, “I don’t want to take care of babies. I want to do more Saturday Night Fever,” yah?
- You’re like the Buddha — you don’t have the belly — you’re Slim Buddha. You’re Northern Irish Buddha. You are Shamrock Buddha. Buddha Roy!
(musical interlude “dee-dee-dee-doo-bah-dee-doo–RORY!–boo-dah-dah-dee–McIlroy)
- Rory, if I was running away and I was like, “Someone quick: hit someone in the head with a golf ball in 200 meters away!” I call you, Rory. You are very accurate right now.
Yep.
[H/T Wei Under Par]
The lovely Arianny Celeste celebrated her 10,000th tweet by uploading this photo, so I thought I’d pass it along.
Yep, I got nothing. Slow news day and so on and so forth.
Also, same as the last time she did it, I am pleased to report that she has uploaded a new Twitter avatar:
Stunning. While a close approximation to the above-mentioned fauxhawk hairstyle, I’d say the St. Louis Cardinals manager’s hairdo, what with its tussled, unkempt appearance, has a little bit of an Ernie McCracken vibe to it as well. Which works nice for skipper.
[H/T Big League Stew]
Gold.
Unfortunately for St. Louis Cardinals fans, there has never been a crappy television show ever made where the name of their team has been incorporated into its title. It’s a shame, but that’s life. I guess you could say that a sign as clever as this coming from a Cardinals fan might just be Missing In Action.
[via]
Thanks, Adam. Much appreciated. While I cannot say with absolute certainty that I will not have as bad of a day as the despotic tyrant from Libya experienced, I can say I will do my very best to avoid putting myself in the same kind of sticky situation.
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Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Security on the campus of New Mexico State University are on the lookout for a pervert who stole $60 worth of colored panties, bras and even some of a woman’s son’s t-shirts off a clothesline where the victim hung the undergarments out to dry. There are no suspects at this time, but if there is a Lambda Lambda Lambda fraternity chapter on campus, I’d start there. [Yahoo!]
• Great news! Apparently, MLB has reconsidered and now Dirk Nowitzki will be throwing out the first pitch at a Texas Rangers home game in the World Series. [My Sports Rumors]
• The Lingerie Football League has expressed interest in Michael Jackson’s 13-year-old daughter. Yep. [Off the Bench]
• The Ronnie Brown trade to Detroit has been voided. Sorry, no Wildcat for you, Lions fans. [Shutdown Corner]
• Fantastic Meme Watch: Aaron Rodgers Photobombing Throughout History [With Leather]
• The 50 most popular athletes on the internet (according to Google). [Busted Coverage]
• Saints tight end Jimmie Graham says LeBron James would shatter records in New Orleans’ offense. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The 25 best players in the NBA right now. [Midwest Sports Fans]
• Here’s Tony La Russa’s appearance on a 1980s game show. [Strait Pinkie]
• Mainstream media doesn’t understand that Twitter is kind of a joke. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Carson Palmer jerseys still selling well in Cincinnati. [Guyism]
• Mike Florio’s secret troll language revealed. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Hilarious: Jesus to Attend Tim Tebow’s Season Debut [Sports Pickle]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Cam Newton Leaves Panthers To Start Own Football Team
According to a report from Marc Stein on ESPN Dallas, Major League Baseball has declined the suggestion by the Rangers of having Dirk Nowitzki, member of the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks and MVP of the NBA Finals, throw out the first pitch prior to any of the games held at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington during the World Series between the Texas Rangers and the St. Louis Cardinals. Many suspect this is the MLB’s way of showing solidarity with their counterparts in NBA upper management during the basketball league’s labor impasse, which, if remotely true, is pretty sad. Pretty sad, indeed.
Of course, Major League Baseball categorically denies any part in such a ridiculous scheme:
“MLB absolutely denies that any part in selecting the first ball pitcher had anything to do with the current labor situation in the NBA,” MLB spokesman Pat Courtney said. “You want the club’s input in what makes sense for them and then we talk about what makes sense for the team and a good broad-base national appeal.
“It’s a nice problem to have that you get a list of 10 or 15 names and you work your way through them. We know Nowitzki’s been at the games, and that’s wonderful. We’re glad he’s there.”
While it will likely never be truly known the exact reason behind Nowitzki getting nixed, the possibility that it is for the aforementioned solidarity cannot be discounted. But still, how ridiculous.
You know, the NFL, when criticized for their humorless stance on certain issues, is commonly referred to as the “No Fun League.” I guess we should go ahead and refer to the MLB as, uh, um, “Magnificently Lame Buttheads”? C’mon, it was off the cuff, people. Give me a break.
UPDATE: It turns out Nowitzki will throw out a ceremonial first pitch after all. Good call, MLB.
Source: Dirk Nowitzki denied first pitch [ESPN Dallas]
