Archive for October, 2011
Gold, Jerry. Gold.
Although another possible response — although Chad Ochocinco’s response is spot on – could have been: He’s jealous of Tim Tebow.
[via]
Just to think, all that time screwing around trying to break things by launching balls of ramps as a kid on the mini golf course I could have instead been honing my skills and establishing a semi-lucrative career? That’s bogus!
I guess miniature golf is to real golf is kind of like blogging is to real writing. Interesting.
For the full story, go here.
[H/T Buzz Feed]
(photo courtesy of Regina Leader-Post)
GAH! My rods and cones are all screwed up! Actually, the ice is really a pinkish hue, and it will be the surface which the Regina Pats and the Edmonton Ice Kings of the Western Hockey will play on Friday night as they do their part for Breast Cancer Awareness Night at the Pats’ Brandt Centre Arena.
Brandon Underwood, a bruising defenseman for the Pats, is excited to be part of something so meaningful. So much so, he has no problem playing on the pink ice nor sporting a jersey with pink trim. From the Regina Leader-Post (via Pro Hockey Talk):
“It’s the one day (it’s allowed),” Underwood said with a smile. “It’s a special event. A couple of my friends, their moms have breast cancer. It’s a really cool thing to do something for a good cause and raise a lot of money. All the guys are excited. It’s like dress-up time. You get the pink ice and guys are going to mess around with their gear and put pink stuff on it. I’ll try to think of something cool to do. It’s all for a good cause and the fans get excited. I think it’ll be a good game.”
In this day and age, it is impossible not to know at least one person who has been affected by the terrible disease, so it is a wonderful gesture indeed by the Regina Pats to put on such a charitable event. This is the seventh year the team has held a Breast Cancer Awareness Night and they have raised nearly $75,000 during that time through auctions and other fundraising efforts.
Pats vice president of business operations Cliff Mapes is extremely pleased with what the team has accomplished, even if a minor league hockey team in Regina, Saskatchewan can’t pull in the kind of dough bigger outfits such as the NFL and MLB raise:
“It’s not just about breast cancer,” he added. “There are a lot of people out there fighting this awful disease. It’s hard not to get emotional about it. I watch the NFL raise millions and Major League Baseball raise millions and I’m not discouraged at all because we’re not raising that much money. We’re just doing our part. That’s really what it’s about. It’s being part of the community and being part of the fight.”
There is absolutely nothing to be discouraged about, good sir, and everything of which to be proud. Kudos.
Pats just doing their part [Regina Leader-Post (via Pro Hockey Talk)]
"Let go of my sideburns!!"
First Demi Lovato, now this? Sheesh.
For the biggest game and the culmination of a fantastic season, Major League Baseball has elected to designate a rock music retread as the person who will have the honor of singing the national anthem prior to Game 7 of the World Series on Friday night when the Texas Rangers and St. Louis Cardinals play at Busch Stadium for all the marbles (I’m pretty sure everybody knows who is playing in the World Series at this point — I just wanted to use the cliched phrase “all the marbles” — see, I like to give 110% when I write stuff about craptastic anthem singers, like my back is against the wall).
From the AP report announcing the disappointing news:
ST. LOUIS (AP) — “American Idol” alum Chris Daughtry (DAW’-tree) will sing the national anthem at the final World Series game.
The lead singer of the band Daughtry will perform Friday night at Game 7 between the Texas Rangers and the St. Louis Cardinals at Busch Stadium in St. Louis.
Other series singers have included Zooey Deschanel (ZOH’-ee deh-shuh-NEHL’) and recent “Idol” winner Scotty McCreery.
I love how the AP provides the phonetic pronunciation for the last names of Daughtry and Deschanel. Very helpful. But if you have somehow come this far in your life and you still don’t know how to pronounce the last name of America’s Singing and Acting Sweetheart, the lovely and talented Zooey, well, sir or madam, may God have mercy on your soul.
I find it humorous that the AP didn’t phonetically spell McCreery’s name but I suppose it is difficult to spell out with letters the sound a greasy, loose, barely-formed turd makes as it falls into the putrid water inside the dank, dark hole of an outhouse.
Chris Daughtry to sing at final World Series game [AP]
Shooting at the walls of heartache (*bang bang*), I am the Warrior. Awesome. Sure, awesome in a completely, as Charles Barkley himself would say, turrible way, it is awesome nonetheless.
And if you think the above video is the only ’80s-esque bit of NBA nostalgia featuring ridiculous soundtracks, you would be sadly mistaken. Hop on over to Sports Grid and you will be delighted to find a Larry Bird video montage featuring “Small Town” by John Mellencamp — or was he John Cougar back then? Or John Cougar Mellencamp? So confusing, but it does remind me of a joke:
Where do cantaloupe send their kids in the summer?
John Cougar’s Melon Camp.
Moving on, there is also a Michael Jordan highlight package to the tune of Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away” to delight you, not to mention Magic Johnson’s highlight reel with Janet Jackson’s “Control” for background music. But for my money, the Charles Barkely/”The Warrior” mashup takes the cake. Little known fact: the lead singer of Scandal, Patty Smyth, is married to tennis legend John McEnroe. Even littler known fact: my karaoke version of the song is worth the price of admission…at a bar with no cover charge.
Victory is mine!
[H/T Sports Grid]
God bless you, young lady. You are — or should be — an inspiration to women everywhere.
The sad part is the guy who is lucky enough to be with such a great gal is probably a total jerk who doesn’t appreciate her. On the other hand, he could be a great guy who treats her like a queen. Let’s hope it’s the latter scenario.
[via @si_vault]
If you are like most cubicle denizens, the surface of your desktop workspace is littered with stacks of work you’re behind on, fast food wrappers and depressing evidence of your broken dreams and career aspirations. How about you turn it all around by spiffing up your desk with your very own paper doll of dominating Detroit Lions defensive lineman Ndamukong Suh? Now that is a great idea. And you can thank the Detroit Free Press for your workspace image makeover. And in case you have forgotten, this isn’t the first time the Detroit newspaper has entered the paper product-based “Gotta Support The Team” fray: earlier this month, they provided the goods so fans could make Detroit Tigers paper masks. Awesome.
But what makes Desktop Ndamukong Suh even cooler is it is as easy-as-pie to assemble. Simply download this PDF document, print it off on a color printer, grab a pair of scissors and voila! You’re that much closer to further ostracizing your co-workers with your bizarre behavior.
While a pretty neat little decoration, there are a few drawbacks to Desktop Ndamukong Suh: I’ve heard it will take cheap shots at your shoddy work product and will endlessly mock and ridicule you when you don’t attach a cover sheet to your TPS reports.
Paper Lion: Build your desktop Ndamukong Suh! [Detroit Free Press]
Seventeen freaking goals. Wow. In fact, that’s the most goals scored in an NHL game in 15 years. An even more impressive statistical oddity: in the Winnipeg Jets’ 9-8 win over the Philadelphia Flyers on Thursday night, nine different Jets players scored. Everybody was getting in on the action.
And how about this? Winnipeg had scored only seventeen goals in their first eight games heading into last night’s offensive explosion.
You will see lopsided games in the NHL where a team blasts its opponent for 8-1 or 9-2 victories or something like that, but to have seventeen combined goals? That’s a lot of scoring. I haven’t seen that much scoring since my freshman year in college.
What? I had a part-time job at a caterer and I was in charge of prepping the hams for baking. Jeez, you guys are pervs.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A Santa Fe woman was arrested on the suspicion that she stabbed her boyfriend over a game of Monopoly. 60-year-old Laura Chavez is accused of stabbing her 48-year-old boyfriend repeatedly because he was allegedly cheating. All I know is if the cops didn’t say, “You are going directly to jail. Do not pass Go and do not collect $200″ they missed an awesome opportunity. [Yahoo!]
• A woman whose dream was to see the Rangers win the World Series died Wednesday after a long battle with cancer. [Larry Brown Sports]
• This fight between P.K. Subban and Brad Marchand is fantastic. [Puck Daddy]
• Asante Samuel sure isn’t making friends with the Eagles front office. [Shutdown Corner]
• Yikes: Chargers guard Kris Dielman suffered a seizure on a flight. [Rumors & Rants]
• Brawls between rival Chinese kayaking teams are the best kind of brawls. [Off the Bench]
• Brandon Jennings’ logic as to why the NBA lockout will end. The world is shaped like a basketball. Alrighty then. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• The 24 greatest moment in Tebowing’s short history. [Busted Coverage]
• In the latest edition of The Dugout: Jim Thome’s back, baby! [With Leather]
• Here’s video of former NBAer Joe Smith arguing with a pumpkin. [The Basketball Jones]
• Some high school football players were busted for their part in an interesting scavenger hunt. [Bob's Blitz]
• Ladies and germs, KSK would like to wish you a Happy Halloween from your Neighborhood Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Study Finds Every Style Of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults
Holy ginormous bowl of cereal, Batman! Much to the amusement of teammate Visanthe Shiancoe (who tweeted the pic), Vikings running back Adrian Peterson is seen here enjoying a massive bowl of post-practice cereal. The only problem that occurred prior to Peterson’s feast was he had Donovan McNabb pour the milk and the dang guy short-hopped the bowl and spilled milk all over the place.
Now, as a big fan of cold cereal myself, I have to question Peterson’s technique. His cereal-to-milk ratio is perfect, as it allows the cereal to flavor the milk but the overall size of the bowl and the sheer volume of the milk is where he goes wrong. No matter how fast he eats it, some of the cereal is going to lose its texture, resulting in a gloopy glop of mush. I would suggest a smaller bowl with frequent refills.
Maybe I’m thinking too much about Peterson’s cereal-eating habits. All I can say is if cereal of choice had been Cocoa Puffs, it would have made it much easier for me to crack an easy joke. Alas, it looks like A.D. is instead eating what appears to be an entire box of Cheerios, which are quite tasty in their own right. I suppose they could be Honey Nut Cheerios. It’s hard to say and not that it matters either way. All I know is General Mills owes Peterson big time.
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In one of the more interesting fan participation contests ever, the Lingerie Football League is holding one where the lucky winner will have the opportunity to tackle one of the league’s sexy and talented players during halftime of Lingerie Bowl IX in Las Vegas on Feb. 4, 2012. Lingerie Bowl IX? More like Lingerie Bowl XXX, am I right? No? That would make it the 30th edition of the Lingerie Bowl, you say? You wisenheimers with your fancy Roman numerals.
But seriously, there has already been nine of these suckers? Time flies when you’re not paying attention, huh? I guess I should take more notice.
And with this contest, here’s the perfect reason (via MTV.com):
Here’s your chance to score with the LFL! We’re giving one lucky fan the opportunity to experience what true fantasy football really is with a chance to tackle an LFL team player during halftime at Lingerie Bowl IX in Las Vegas! Enter now for your chance to win a VIP trip for you and a friend to Las Vegas and see if you can take down an LFL Player.
Prizing Includes:
- Roundtrip airfare for 2 to Las Vegas, NV
- 2 night hotel accommodations at the Palms Casino & Resort
- 2 Tickets to Lingerie Bowl IX
- Chance to tackle an LFL Player during halftime
- VIP Experience: Private meet & greets, no-wait VIP access to Lingerie Bowl Weekend parties in Vegas, autographed merchandise
- $250 Gift card
Fantastic package, wouldn’t you say? (That’s what she said) Ugh. Sorry about that.
You can enter the contest right here. You must be 21 years of age, consent to not only the contest rules but also the possibility that you will be terribly humiliated when an LFL player trucks over you in your desperate attempt to not look like a complete tool because you couldn’t tackle a girl who is 10 times the football player you ever were or ever will be. I don’t know, it might be worth the risk.
According to the caption in the video, this is from Game 4 of the 1993 Eastern Conference Finals featuring Scottie and Michael’s Bulls against the New York Knicks in the game where MJ went off, scoring 54 points.
In an act of loyalty and kindness, Pippen cleanly dispatches of a fly which had landed on Jordan’s head during a time out by smothering it with a towel. A well-executed fly kill, to be sure, and who knows if Jordan would have had as phenomenal of a game had Pippen not killed the fly.
In fact, if you think about it, the future of the entire NBA, nay, the world, could have been permanently altered by either Pippen kill or non-kill. It’s kind of like the “Butterfly Effect,” only with a fly. Most people don’t know this, but the originators of that theory were originally going to go with the “Housefly Effect” until a savvy chaos theorist pointed out that butterflies are a much better-liked insect. The rest, as they say, is history.
Or is it????? Have fun trying to wrap your brain around that one, kids.
[H/T The Basketball Jones]
While the thought of Gus Johnson calling an NHL hockey game is an intriguing one, I wouldn’t hold my breath. That guy is stretched way too thin already at this point. I can’t see him adding hockey broadcasting to his busy schedule. But it’s a nice dream to have and the hypothetical situation is illustrated nicely in the above video, just as long as you suspend logic and imagine Adam Morrison played for the New York Rangers. Come to think of it, the Great Crying Mustache might have fared better in the NHL when you think about his craptastic NBA career.
“Gus Johnson Calling ________” has long been an internet staple, and I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon. Much like the man himself, “Gus Johnson Calling ________” cannot be stopped, you can only hope to contain them. I, for one, am looking forward to the “Gus Johnson Calling A Gus Johnson-Called Game” video. Now that would be chock-full of histrionic goodness. Try to figure how to pull that one off, internet nerds.
[H/T Sports Crackle Pop!]
Let’s play the Feud! According to reports, New Orleans Hornets point guard Chris Paul and his family will be appearing on the long-running, much-loved game show on an episode which will air on Nov. 1. All winnings will go directly to Chris Paul’s charity, the CP3 Foundation. Neato.
From a Times-Picayune report (via Ball Don’t Lie):
According to a news release, the Paul team applied and auditioned for the show, hosted by Steve Harvey, just as any family can. (The show’s contestant hotline: 323.762.8467.)
Family members participating in the game show will be Chris, brother C.J., dad Charles, mom Robin and aunt Rhonda.
The opposing team will be the O’Haras from Revere, Mass. They’ll play for $100,000 and a car.
Just reading about Family Feud evokes fond memories from my youth, when the smooth Richard Dawson emceed the show with gallant coolness and suave charm. Dawson’s run lasted until 1985 when he was replaced by Ray Combs, who as you recall, killed himself, thus prompting Dawson to make a 1-year return in a manner akin to Bud Grant’s return as head coach of the Minnesota Vikings for one season in 1985 after the 3-13 Les Steckel debacle of 1984.
Moving on, Louie Anderson followed. Then it was that guy from Home Improvement and then J. Peterman. Now it’s Steve Harvey, who recently had quite the interesting — and awkward — exchange recently with one contestant regarding the survey, “Things You Put In Your Mouth But Don’t Swallow”. Yeah, I’m pretty sure you can figure out where that one headed.
Chris Paul and family to appear on ‘Family Feud’ [New Orleans Times-Picayune (via Ball Don't Lie)]
[updated image courtesy of @CP3 via Larry from Larry Brown Sports]
Scary stuff. Never before has the Florida Gators head football coach looked so intimidating. And out of his “gourd.” It’s like the eyes on that thing are “carving” your soul to pieces.
That right there was some pumpkin humor for you, although technically, pumpkins are gourd-like squashes, but you knew that already, right?
[H/T SB Nation]
