Archive for September, 2011
After a lot of work and an incredibly generous $1 million donation, Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino was present to see his dream become a reality Thursday at the grand opening of the Shane Victorino Nicetown Boys & Girls Club in Philadelphia. It was clearly an extremely significant moment for Victorino who broke down a little as he spoke in front of assembled guests and dignitaries. His parents even made the long trip from his native Hawaii to witness their son’s goal come to fruition.
Located in the Nicetown neighborhood of North Philadelphia, the remodeled and refurbished 16,000-square-foot facility features a new computer room, lounges, a study room as well as new gym which will serve over 300 kids everyday who would otherwise might not have anywhere else to go.
Video follows.
Yeah, probably five of you get that reference, but to you small group of folks, it’s totally true, right? And for those who do not get it, here’s the best I can do to explain. How in the hell can YouTube NOT have that scene? Lame.
Anyhoo, Michelle Wie is a member of the U.S. contingent for the Solheim Cup, which is being held at Killeen Castle Golf Resort in Ireland. As you can see, she wears her patriotism on her sleeve. And her forehead. And at last check, she’s performing admirably, teaming up with Cristie Kerr to take a full point from the commie Europeans, which leaves the competition knotted up at 2-2.
But I would be remiss if I did not also draw attention to Wie’s choice of footwear (via Devil Ball Golf):
USA! USA! USA!
[tip image via]
Earlier this week, we were dismayed to report the sad story of how the head of the mascot costume for Stomper the Bear had been stolen. The Lake Erie Crushers family was devastated by the news that their beloved mascot’s costume had been defiled by cretinous criminals and sent out a desperate plea for the perpetrators of the heinous crime to return the cranial costume accessory.
Well, whether it was deep-seated guilt boiling to the surface or the weirdo who made off with the mascot head simply grew tired of doing whatever it was he or she was doing with it (don’t want to think about it), Stomper’s head was discovered Thursday, hidden underneath a tarp near a building outside All Pro Freight Stadium in Avon, Ohio.
From a hard-hitting FOX 8 Cleveland report (via Yahoo!):
Earlier this week the team and fans talked to Fox 8 about the loss and made a public request for the head’s return.
It’s custom-made and costs several thousand dollars.
strong> Before the head turned up, the Crushers ordered a replacement.
The team plans to keep the back-up mascot head.
Yeah, keep the back-up mascot head. Good thinking. Better than tossing it in the garbage, right? Because I highly doubt the mascot costume maker accepts returns. What are they going to do with it?
And wait. Several thousand dollars? For a mascot costume? Or are they referring to just the head of the dang thing? And who knew mascot costume making was such a lucrative business? Man, did I make the wrong career choice. Do you have any idea what kind of scam you could pull with a partnership between a nefarious mascot costume making company and a den of thieves? Imagine it: send the thieves in to steal various parts of mascot costumes from minor league ballparks throughout the country and then just wait for the replacement orders to come rolling in. It’s the perfect crime, not that I would ever advise actually following through on such a thing.
Game On! Crushers Mascot Head Returned [FOX 8 Cleveland (via Yahoo!)]
Matey. Batten down the hatches, because if the sight of that old seadog, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, isn’t the most delightful thing you see all day, well, I’ll have to call a spade a spade and accuse you of being a landlubbing scallywag.
The amazing video follows:
Ha. It looks like he really took a shot there, doesn’t it? But to be fair, a perceived attempt at a headbutt by an irate player is pretty much the same as a perceived headbutt by an irate player, except that in either case, unless one is actually headbutted by an irate player, no headbutt actually occurred, hence no need to flop to the ground and writhe in agony.
[via The Telegraph]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, links, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A woman in suburban St. Louis returned to her home to find a burglar frying bacon in her kitchen. Damon Petty, 36, was arrested and charged with burglary due to his affinity for salty pork deliciousness. Petty tried preventing the homeowner and a friend from entering the home — presumably to finish preparing his snack — but ultimately couldn’t stop them. Mmm…bacon. I guess it’s kind of hard to blame the guy. I mean, could you walk away from a pan of partially-cooked bacon without eating its crispy, fatty goodness? [msnbc]
• Awesome: Metta World Peace donated $285K to mental health charities. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Even more awesome: cross country runner stops, carries injured runner from rival team 1/2 mile for treatment. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The rumored new Blue Jays logo is pretty sweet. [Big League Stew]
• Greg Norman thinks Tiger Woods will not win another major. [Dogs That Chase Cars]
• Finland’s hockey commercials are so much better than ours. They also have pretty sweet saunas over there, too. [Puck Daddy]
• The most recent installment of Rick’s Cafe is a provocative one: “Catfights and pigskin…will the Lingerie Football League’s new WWE attitude catch on?” [Off the Bench]
• Hilarious video of a youth soccer goalie slamming into the goalpost after being caught way out of position. [Sports Pickle]
• Another week, another edition of KSK’s Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Detroit Lions made Bob Seger cry. For revenge, he performed an acoustic version of “Still the Same.” Damn, I love that song. [Busted Coverage]
• Here’s video of a soccer linesman getting drilled with a streamer. Ouch. [Outside the Boxscore]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Notre Dame Victory Sparks Widespread NCAA Investigation
Ouch. This probably wasn’t the most tasteful choice. Using the image of a seriously injured NFL player being carted off the field to pimp your fantasy football leagues? No bueno. But then again, the NFL essentially looks at the players in the league as disposable commodities anyway, so I guess no harm, no foul. At least as far as the NFL is concerned. Jamaal Charles might think otherwise, but what’s he going to do? Hobble over to NFL headquarters on his busted-up ACL and complain?
[H/T Sports Crackle Pop!]
Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe is something of a Renaissance Man, especially as far as NFL punters go (see here), but perhaps nothing Kluwe does better exemplifies this than his forays into NFL commentary in the medium of whiteboard. Who can forget his stick figure-based analysis of the messy NFL labor morass from earlier this year? Or how about his vitriolic thoughts regarding the video the NFL sent out last season to teams regarding illegal hits? Good stuff.
Well, Kluwe has once again unleashed his acerbic marker (can a marker be acerbic? huh), and the topic of discussion for today is the memo the NFL sent out to teams which detailed the potential consequences of faking injuries, due to the controversy created due to the possibility (or likelihood, depending on your point of view) that two New York Giants players feigned injuries to slow down the Rams offense on Monday night.
As you can see above, Kluwe believes the threats of fines, suspensions or forfeiture of draft picks aren’t really going to solve the problem. Threaten a player by saying they will have their official position changed to kicker or punter? Now that is going to turn some heads and change behaviors. Play like you have a pair, indeed.
[via @ChrisWarcraft]
And for my money, if you are going to create a Boise State Corn Maze, it darn well better be Boise State-y and Corn Maze-y. Otherwise, what’s the point?
My provocative, controversial views regarding the relative quality of individual corn mazes notwithstanding, what you see above is the latest entry in the seemingly endless supply of sports-themed corn mazes which have been reported on in recent months (see Minnesota Twins Corn Maze here as an example). You see, Linder Farms in Meridian, Idaho grows corn. The proprietors of the farm are also huge Boise State Broncos fans. Put those two things together, some elbow grease and a lot of exact measurements and cutting and voila! You have yourself a Boise State Corn Maze, something that has been a staple at Linder Farms for three years now.
From the Idaho Statesman, via Dr. Saturday:
“We wanted to highlight the merger with the Mountain West conference,” said Sherrie Feist, co-owner of Linder Farms with husband, Randy. “We love the Broncos. I’ve grown up in the Valley, and I attended Boise State.”
She grew up in the Valley? Like, gag me with a spoon. Oh, not that Valley, you say. Whatever.
Anyway, the maze is open to the public and it only costs $10 for adults, $7 for children. So if you’re in their neck of the woods, why not stop by and have yourself a good time getting lost in a cornfield in Idaho? But here’s my question: given that it is Idaho, wouldn’t it be more apropos if, instead of corn, some enterprising Idahoan farmer created a subterranean potato maze? You know, because potatoes are a root vegetable — a tuber to be exact — not to mention it is the state vegetable after all. Yeah, that would be pretty expensive. Probably dangerous, too. And you probably wouldn’t even be able to see the potatoes, what with all the earth crumbling down upon you as you die a slow, terrifying, suffocating death.
You know, forget I even brought it up.
Boise State-themed corn maze featuring quarterback will open Friday [Idaho Statesman (via Dr. Saturday)]
Slightly-less-chunky-but-still-chubby TNT NBA analyst Charles Barkley (above, in his much-ballyhooed race against the ageless Dick Bavetta) has formally challenged NFL Network analyst Warren Sapp and his svelte-challenged physique to a race during his appearance on Rich Eisen’s podcast. You can hear the audio over at Game On!, but here’s the gist of it:
Calling Sapp, now an NFL analyst, a big fat lineman, Barkley said he would race him anytime, anywhere at any distance.
“I was highly, highly offended when Warren Sapp thought he could outrun me,” said Barkley. “I’ll bet anything in the world that Warren can not out run me.”
The boastful challenge by Barkley no doubt stems from this exchange between the two back in July during Sir Charles’ appearance on NFL Total Access were the two badmouthed each other regarding the current shape the other is currently in following their playing careers. All I know is a race between the two would most certainly qualify as Must-See-TV. Just imagine it. The sweating, the gasping for air, the flab. Actually, that sounds horrible. But if the race does indeed go on and it is televised, if Carole King isn’t brought in to sing “I Feel The Earth Move” immediately prior to the starting gun being fired, I would be profoundly disappointed at the missed opportunity.
Barkley challenges Sapp to a foot race [Game On!]
Portland Trail Blazers center Marcus Camby was arrested and charged along with a passenger with marijuana possession Monday in Pearland, Texas after police pulled him over at approximately midnight and discovered pot underneath the driver’s seat of his Porsche. To make matters worse, Camby was pulled over in a drug-free school zone, thus raising the seriousness of the charges against him.
From yourpearlandnews.com (via Sporting News):
Police officials say officers pulled over Camby’s black Porsche around midnight on when he was spotted driving north on Cullen Boulevard with a sun screen device blocking the front window.
Officers then questioned Camby and a passenger, later identified as Kendal Lance Johnson, 25. Officers say they noticed the smell of marijuana. Camby gave permission for the car to be searched and police said they discovered what appeared to be several marijuana cigarettes and a baggie with a small amount of the same substance hidden under the front seat. Both suspects denied ownership of the marijuana.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Back up for a minute here. By referring to the thing blocking the front window as a “sun screen device,” there is simply no possible way the report is referring to something like this, right?
That can’t be right, can it? At least if the report indicated said device was “partially blocking the front window,” that might make a modicum of sense, but it reads plain as day that it was blocking the front window. How could he even drive with one of those things impeding his ability to see where he was driving. Hopefully, the report is mistakenly misrepresenting the facts of the case and some clarification will come in the days ahead. Otherwise, if he was driving around with marijuana in his car with a sun screen on his windshield — at midnight, no less — Camby is one certifiable high ass. And an extremely dangerous one at that.
NBA star Marcus Camby charged with marijuana possession in Pearland school zone [yourpearlandnews.com (via Sporting News)]
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children referred to parents allowing their children to fight in cage matches as “disturbing,” Nick Hartley, a parent whose son is featured in the above video, called what is going on “more wrestling than fighting,” but either way you slice it, this is video of two British boys under the age of 10 fighting inside a cage, much to the delight of 200 beer-swilling, hollering, adult onlookers.
The video has not surprisingly caused a firestorm of controversy in Britain. Recorded during an event at the Greenlands New Labour Social Club in Northwest England, the fight has been condemned by both the health ministry as well as the official cage fighting association in Britain. But the owner of the club, Michelle Anderson, maintains the controversy is much ado about nothing (via the New York Daily News):
“The children were doing what they call grappling. The cage fighting only comes when they get older,” she told Sky News.
“It’s just the name ‘cage fighting’ that people are getting annoyed at, or they criticize it because they know nothing about it.”
Fair enough. Then why call it cage fighting? How about something with a much less sinister tone, say “Extreme Tiddlywinks But Instead Of Tiddly Winks They Are Fighting Inside A Cage But It’s Not Really Cage Fighting Per Se.” Yeah, that probably wouldn’t work — way too long. Also, they’re cage fighting.
Video follows.
Careless beauty? What does that even mean? Is it anything like a “Careless Whisper”? Because if it is, well, um, I’m never going to dance again. Or something.
This clip comes from a high school football league in Connecticut pitting the squads from Hillhouse and North Haven against each other. Trailing 19-7 in the third quarter, North Haven QB Jalon White drops back and faces immediate pressure. While getting dragged down to the turf at about the 20-yard line, White blindly tosses up a Phillip Rivers-esque floater high up into the air, up for grabs for anyone. A usually unwise move, to be sure, but in this case, fate rewards White for his irresponsible handling of the football, as it is pulled down by wide receiver Joe Burr, who scampers into the end zone for the easy touchdown. Courtesy of the momentum of that ill-advised — but beneficial — play, North Haven stormed back, ultimately beating Hillhouse 21-19 in each of the teams’ season opener.
Yep, outcomes of making plays like this one generally don’t come out as well as this one did. But there you go. Sometimes, it pays to be reckless.
[H/T The Big Lead, Prep Rally]
Finally, a perfect way for Alabama Crimson Tide fanatics to emulate their quarterback by displaying his rather impressive chest tattoo on their own chests but without the need (and pain associated) of getting permanently inked: the AJ McCarron chest tattoo t-shirt!
As you can see, it is of the finest quality, perfect for tailgating, pilgrimages to Bryant-Denny Stadium, not to mention arrests for being drunk and disorderly and the subsequent (and repeated) overnights in the drunk tank sleeping one off. Really, nothing screams “Alabama!” quite like this shirt. Well, except for maybe a crowd full of inebriated Alabama fans cheering for an encore on the band’s reunion tour, but I suppose that’s a given.
[H/T Friends of the Program, McCarron tattoo pic via Dr. Saturday]
Ah, Woody Paige, bless his demented, goofball soul. During a taping of Around the Horn, the Denver Post columnist discovered the whimsical joy that can be elicited from making friends and conversing a talking toy parrot. He really appears to be having a good time with it, and even better for Woody, he won’t have to put up with any back talk or criticism regarding the near-religious fervor he reaches and the lengths he goes to while defending Tim Tebow. Good for him
As far as the mechanical toy bird goes, it’s alright, but despite its cuteness, the sophistication it exhibits pales in comparison to the technological prowess of Bubo the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans. And I’m talking about the original version of the film, not the super-cheesy one from a few years back. Because when you are looking for non-cheesy movie fare, you can’t miss with Harry Hamlin wearing a loincloth and Sir Laurence Olivier shamelessly bastardizing a legendary career portraying Zeus. But perhaps that’s a story for another time. Maybe Woody and his new parrot friend can discuss it at great length later during some down time.
[H/T Sports Grid]
