Archive for September, 2011
Get it? Snap? Like how they’re both quarterbacks? Jeez, you people are hard to please.
On to the story: during a radio appearance by Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers on ESPN Milwaukee, the topic of New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez’s highly stylized photo spread in the September issue of GQ came up. Let’s just say Rodgers was not very impressed with his colleagues foray into fashion.
Via Pro Football Talk:
“Look at this,” Rodgers said. “That’s embarrassing. Page 94 of the GQ thing here. That’s terrible.”
Ooh! Quarterback Cat Fight! The photo Rodgers is referring to is the one you see directly above. And to be honest, I am inclined to agree with him. Nice white pants with black muscle shirt with white trim. I assume the fur-like coat is an homage to another Jets quarterback of yesteryear, Joe Namath, but that doesn’t necessarily make it right.
But in defense of Sanchez, there is this: he has to play up this kind of thing, considering he is a high profile player playing in high profile New York. Rodgers isn’t subjected to the standards Sanchez is held to living in Green Bay. And let’s be honest: if Rodgers donned that fur coat (or faux fur, whatever it is) and walked around Green Bay, some hunter might accidentally mistake him for wild game. And that wouldn’t be good.
Aaron Rodgers calls Mark Sanchez in GQ “embarrassing” [Pro Football Talk]
Fresh up from the minors as part of September callups for the woebegone Minnesota Twins, young pups Joe Benson (right) and Chris Parmelee (left) were at a loss at how they should dress when showing up at the clubhouse for the first time. Benson decided to wear a suit to make a good first impression and after Parmelee heard about his fellow new guy’s plan, went out and bought himself a suit as well. So, there they were, all spiffed up in their suits, wide-eyed, but looking more-than-presentable. Big mistake. The fashion-forward decision didn’t sit well with Twins skipper Ron Gardenhire…at least in a joking sort of way. Because that’s a finin’.
Via the Star Tribune:
“They came in lookin’ all nice, coming to the big leagues,” Gardenhire said. “I said. ‘That’s 100 bucks apiece because you just made me look bad in my blue jeans.’ That was their first welcome to the big leagues.”
A $100 fine? How do you like that? Well played, Gardie. And as far as Benson and Parmelee are concerned, I guess they can’t win for losing, which leads me to believe, in light of Minnesota’s miserable season, that the two newcomers will fit in just fine.
Twins newcomers pay price for success [Star Tribune]
Now, I have no idea whether this is a real “sport” or some meticulously orchestrated joke by those rascally Ruskies whose sole purpose is to fool gullible Americans, but either way, whatever the heck is going on in the below video is a sight to behold.
What I can ascertain from the video, as I do not speak Russian, is water is sprayed up into the nasal cavity through one nostril and is expelled out the other into a holding container of sorts which measures the volume of the liquid that has passed through the competitor’s nose. It’s really quite mad.
Video follows:
Jinkies. While his triumphant return to the major leagues was indeed impressive (5 shutout innings, 2 hits, 4 strikeouts, although the Nationals blew it in the end, losing 7-3 to the Dodgers), there was one troubling aspect to Stephen Strasburg’s performance on Tuesday night: the fact that he popped the collar of the jacket he was wearing to keep warm and toasty while on base. No bueno.
Although, to be honest, I have to side with Dan Steinberg from D.C. Sports Bog on this one: I have no idea whether or not this is a customary habit of pitchers when they end up on the basepaths. Do all pitchers pop the collar? If so, that’s a shame. If not, somebody better reach out to Strasburg to inform him that it’s just, well, it’s not a good look.
Unless Strasburg wants to give the impression he is some kind of obnoxious preppy living out some adolescent frat boy fantasy, he would be wise to put that collar down, the way it is intended to sit.
[H/T D.C. Sports Bog]
Dammit, I know I can Rant, but grind? It’s just not in my repertoire. With the whole ability to grind a prerequisite, I guess Rome must be looking for the “Darling Nikki” of ESTABLISHED columnists/bloggers. Best of luck to him.
[via @jimrome]
(Video) Worst. Penalty. Kick. Ever.
Posted by:Hey, Amir Sayoud of Egyptian soccer club Al Ahly: Have a nice trip?
To make the situation even more embarrassing Sayoud was assessed for an illegal spot kick, much to the delight of the announcer, who makes one of the more interesting vocalizations I have ever heard as Sayoud trips over his own feet.
But do not fret Al Ahly fans on this side of the globe: the squad, despite Sayoud’s inability to take three steps, plant and kick, still beat Kima Aswan 4-0. And assuming you are as big of an Egyptian League fan as I am, are aware that is no small feat. Or not. Hell if I know.
Although there is a valuable lesson to be learned from this soccer player’s follies: take your time and pay attention to what you are doing. I believe that sentiment, in light of his Egyptian heritage, is best illustrated by the words of renowned lyrical poets The Bangles, who once sang:
If they move too quick (oh whey oh)
They’re falling down like a domino…
Yeah, I know, weaksauce. But hey, any reason that affords me the ability to wax nostalgic about Susanna Hoffs, I’m taking it.
[H/T The Guardian]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Jeez, the least they could have done was take her out for a nice meal first, but no. A New Mexico woman received a $1,122 hospital bill after a court order forced her to be subjected to a body cavity search because police suspected she was hiding heroin in the unholiest of holies. The search turned up no narcotics, so why should she have to pay for such an uncomfortable violation? Beats me, I’m just glad it happened to someone else. [msnbc]
• Was the design of Maryland’s new helmets stolen from a roller derby team? [Larry Brown Sports]
• Stephen Strasburg made his triumphant return to the big leagues in what will commonly be known as “The Debut II.” [Big League Stew]
• Kevin Durant’s massive back tattoo is certainly something. [The Basketball Jones]
• Good God! David Beckham encountered one frightening sea creature while spending the day at the beach. [Off the Bench]
• Good news, fellas: super attractive javelin(ist?) Leryn Franco is single! [Busted Coverage]
• Douchey baseball players make cameos on douchey show. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Alex Ovechkin has signed an endorsement deal with Bauer. [Russian Machine Never Breaks]
• Poor, poor Tiki Barber. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: CEO’s Marital Duties Outsourced To Mexican Groundskeeper
There you go. The video above is from a press conference in Las Vegas for Manny Pacquiao’s upcoming bout with Juan Manuel Marquez. In it, Pacquaio gets the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sing “Sometimes When We Touch” with the original performer of the song, Dan Hill. As you may recall, Pacquiao’s rendition of the 1978 classic ballad spent the summer zooming up the adult contemporary charts.
Hill decided to join the Filipino boxing champ onstage for the impromptu and slightly haunting duet because he was so blown away by Pacquiao’s tender treatment of the song. Yep.
Via The Guardian:
“I saw Manny and heard Manny sing it on [Jimmy Kimmel Live] and I really loved the way he sang it,” Hill said.
“I was immediately drawn to the honesty and the gentleness of his performance. It was like, ‘whoa.’”
Whoa, indeed.
Manny Pacquiao sings duet at press conference [The Guardian]
Here’s a nice story to provide something of a reprieve from all the negative stories typically emerging out of the sordid world of college football. Two Missouri Western State University defensive backs are being heralded as heroes after rescuing a 17-month boy out of a car after his grandmother accidentally locked him inside with the keys.
On Aug. 23rd, in St. Joseph, Mo., teammates Jack Long and Shane Simpson were on their way home from practice when they noticed a woman desperately trying to get inside a parked car on the street across from their school’s campus. The two decided to stop and see what was going on.
Via NBC Action News:
“We just saw this woman beating on the car with a bat,” said Long, an All-Conference running back and defensive back at Park Hill South. “We thought she maybe had locked her keys in the car, but then thought that was kind of an extreme thing to do for keys.”
The two then noticed that there was a young child trapped inside the vehicle, the grandson of Teresa Gall, the woman frantically trying to break into her car. Gall had accidentally locked little Liam Snook inside the car with her keys while babysitting him, and with the heat of a 95-degree day, time was of the essence.
Said the terrified grandmother:
“I was panicked, and horrified,” Gall recalled. “He was crying and getting sick, and I couldn’t get to him.”
Gall got a hammer and was trying to smash the window of her car, but she couldn’t break the glass. Liam was throwing up and was beginning to lose consciousness.
“I couldn’t believe it…We were hitting the glass as hard as we could and nothing,” Gall said. “All I could think was ‘God please send somebody’.”
That’s when Long and Simpson arrived on the scene. Long grabbed the hammer and broke the window with one swing and proceeded to get Liam out of the car. Liam turned out to be OK, save for a bit of dehydration.
Gall and family members brought Liam to a Griffons practice last week where they reunited with the two heroic football players. Video of the meeting follows.
Dear God. That is frightening.
Anybody with kids (or a troubling affinity for children’s toys) is well aware of Pillow Pets. Typically, the standard issue Pillow Pet is a puppy, or kitty, or a ladybug. You know, cute, cuddly creatures, not sinister-looking NFL mascots that present the chilling, foreboding impression that they come alive when you are asleep and terrorize your family.
For those of you unaware of the Steelers’ mascot, Steely McBeam was introduced prior to the 2007 season as part of the team’s commemoration of its 75th anniversary. His nightmare fuel likeness retails for $29.99, and here’s the misleading description of this abomination on the Pillow Pets’ website:
A super-soft chenille plush folding stuffed animal. So cuddly you’ll never want to put it down! Starts out as your pal, then un-velcro its belly, and it quickly becomes your pillow.
Cuddly? I think not. Unless cuddly now means, “Brings about the need for intense, post-traumatic psychotherapy.”
I have to say, the Pittsburgh Steelers, for some reason or another, have cornered the market on nightmare-inducing products that I assume are not intended to be frightening, but courtesy of some shortsighted decision by the creators, will fill young Pittsburgh Steelers fans with dread straight though adolescence. Just a few weeks ago, it was this disturbing Troy Polamalu doll, now comes along the Steely McBeam Pillow Pet. What do Steelers fans have against their children that causes companies to come up with these kind of products? Obviously, there must be a market for these dreadful creations. What have these children done?
Additional photo, if you think you can handle it, follows.
Wait. What? Thanks to my fellow Twin Citian Michael Rand, I present to you “The Red Bull Mississippi Grind,” a skate park traveling on a barge down the great river, shredding all the way, I’m sure. According to Red Bull (I can’t believe Red Bull is behind something like this, the competition will take place over “a 28-day voyage, the barge will take skaters 1,705 miles to their final destination in New Orleans, LA, also making stops in St. Paul, Minn., Quad Cities, IA, and St. Louis, MO along the way.” Gnarly.
Photographed above are two skaters who will be participating in the Mississippi Grind, David Fink and Jamiel Nowparvar. Here are their thoughts on the unconventional showcase (via the Star Tribune):
“I’m looking forward to the unexpected,” Fink said, wearing a captain’s hat as he spoke Saturday. “There’s a little bit of anxiety, but I’m ready to experience the American journey down the Mississippi.”
Said Nowparvar, who said he wants to dress like Huck Finn for part of the trip: “To be honest, we don’t even know. It’s going to be an adventure. … I’ve never been on a boat with a skate park.”
Huck Finn, eh? I bet if they had skateboards back in Huck’s day, he would have been a total thrasher.
The concept for the skate park barge emerged from a locally produced skate video entitled “Feelin’ Minnesota,” where fellow participant Benji Meyer filmed scenes of skaters doing their thing on smaller barges.
Video of the some skating on the barge follows.
You should really sit down before reading this, lest you become so blown away with Tony Dungy’s wisdom that you lose all faculties and crash slumping to the ground in a pitiful heap of football ignorance. Don’t believe me? Big mistake. Because get a load of the knowledge Dungy recently dropped during an appearance on Dan Patrick’s radio program about the outlook of the Colts’ season if Peyton Manning doesn’t play for an extended period of time and the likelihood of the team making the playoffs (via Sporting News):
“I would say no, because I would be concerned about Peyton Manning,” Dungy said. “Just the fact that he may miss one game tells me that this is fairly serious.
“I think it all depends on Peyton Manning,” Dungy said. “If he misses a lot of time, I think it’s going to be very difficult for them to make it (to the playoffs). If he misses one or two games, I think they still win the division.”
(looks at the quarterbacks behind Manning on Indianapolis’ depth chart)
(head asplodes)
Gee whiz, thank goodness Tony Dungy is around to peel back the many intricate layers of what would constitute a truly abysmal season if Manning can’t get back on the field. NBC is lucky to have this guy analyzing the National Football League for them. I look forward to further mind-blowing observations from Dungy this season, including how outscoring your opponent for all four quarters will win a team all its games, as well as the relative wetness of water.
Peyton Manning’s injury jeopardizes Colts’ playoff streak, Tony Dungy says [Sporting News]
In a production full of pomp and circumstance, the Winnipeg Jets unveiled their home and away jerseys at a ceremony on Tuesday held at 17 Wing in Winnipeg in front of a Dash 8, CF-18, and Hercules airplanes. Pictured above (via twitpic) modeling the jerseys are Jets players Eric Fehr, Andrew Ladd, Nik Antropov and Mark Stuart, and I have to say…meh. I mean they’re not bad, but they are not mind-blowing sweaters, either.
Via the Official Site of the Winnipeg Jets:
The jerseys consist largely of two shades of blue. The primary navy blue base of the home dark jerseys is referred to as “Polar Night Blue” which is found on many of today’s Royal Canadian Air Force planes, including the Dash 8. The lighter, secondary blue is called “Aviator Blue” which is similar to the historical colours by used the RCAF, including traditional RCAF flags and the jerseys of the 1948 RCAF Flyers. The jersey also features the previously unveiled primary logo on the front, with the secondary logo placed on the shoulders of each jersey.
“We wanted to create a look that worked well with Reebok’s modern and innovative “Edge System” uniforms,” said Kevin Cheveldayoff, Executive Vice-President & General Manager of the Winnipeg Jets. “However, it was also vitally important to us to honour the rich history of hockey in our city, and fit the era of the Royal Canadian Air Force which inspired the primary crest design. The result is clean, simple and traditional.”
“Our men and women in uniform are delighted by the gracious manner in which the Winnipeg Jets Hockey Club has sought to pay tribute to our time-honoured relationship with this city,” said Colonel Blaise Frawley, Commander of 17 Wing. “Today’s announcement at our home in Winnipeg certainly lends a boost to our morale.”
Fair enough. And to be perfectly honest, my guess is the Jets could show up to play in their first game of the season wearing pink tutus and fairy wings and the ecstatic fans of Winnipeg couldn’t care less.
Winnipeg Jets unveil Home & Away Jerseys [The Official Site of the Winnipeg Jets]
With kickoff of the 2011 NFL season a mere few days away, The Dallas Morning News conducted a poll to determine the fans’ choice for the Top 10 Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. Apparently, there are 34 lovely ladies that comprise this season’s compliment of America’s Sweethearts, so I’m sure there won’t be any hard feelings or anything between the gals regarding who were considered the crème de la crème and those who were left out. Nope. No hurt feelings at all. Knockdown, drag-out cat fights, to be sure, but I’m confident they will all be able to move on from this without any long-running grudges (or long locks of overly-styled hair) held.
So read (or ogle) on, dear readers. Photos follow. What’s that? Pandering? I think not. I just wanted to highlight one example how highly-reliable polling and sports can intersect. With cheerleaders.
Why yes, I did instantly make the connection between what New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady said about a possible return of Randy Moss to the team to the lyrics from that classic Journey song. What else was I supposed to do? I have nothing to hide. Believe what I say.
Moving on, Brady was asked during an appearance on WEEI radio Tuesday morning about the possibility of reuniting with his former football flame (via the Boston Herald):
“You never know in the NFL,” Brady told WEEI. “I love Randy, he’s one of the greatest receivers in the history of the game, one of the greatest players I’ve had a chance to play with. But unfortunately, I don’t make personnel decisions. If I did, I’d still have all my friends here — Troy (Brown), David Patten, Deion (Branch) would have never left. I’ve seen so many guys move on, some come back. You never know what the situation will be even next week… But I don’t know (if he’ll play again). Who knows? I can’t get into his brain. I love the guy, he’s a great friend of mine, and if he ever did come back and play, I’d welcome him with open arms.”
Aha. He says he loves Randy, but doesn’t know if he’ll come back. Brady also adds that he can’t get into Randy’s brain, but I think we all know that Tom found a way into Randy’s heart, and for that reason, anything’s possible for these two star-crossed football players. Maybe Brady should stand outside Moss’ bedroom window with a boom box hoisted above his head, just like Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything. But obviously, Brady would opt for “Open Arms” instead of “In Your Eyes.” And hey, maybe it will convince Moss to return. Stranger things have happened. And if Randy comes back, it will turn night into day and Brady will need him to stay. Open arms.
Okay, I’m done. Have fun getting that blasted ballad out of your head the rest of the day.
Patriots QB Tom Brady won’t travel into the mind of Randy Moss… but would welcome him back “with open arms” [Boston Herald]
