Archive for September, 2011
Would you get a look at Feherty in that image? He looks like an overdressed hobo. Jay Busbee over at Devil Ball Golf refers to the golf analyst (and host of his own show on the Golf Channel) as “gremlinesque.” I’m inclined to agree. It’s a good thing Feherty has been off the sauce for a long time now otherwise I would have been worried about him.
Feherty’s imposingly frightening appearance aside, what we have here is Hunter Mahan appearing to hit a shot, only the golf ball has been replaced by a football. Perhaps he’s hitting a flop shot, who knows? Prior to Mahan’s striking of the spheroid, holding the ball (under the leering watch of Feherty, of course) was retired Dallas Cowboys punter Mike Saxon for some promo for Golf Channel the ad wizards who came up with this are cleverly calling “Hunter vs. the Punter.” Well played.
I only wish Saxon wasn’t blocking the lower half of Feherty’s body. The look on his face and the way he is standing would have been Photoshoppery Gold.
[H/T Devil Ball Golf]
You better be careful, Kris: that dress is probably worth more than your life. At least to your new wife.
Kardashian’s Komment About The Klumsy Kris (via):
Kris is so tall so he take such big strides and he accidentally stepped on my dress at our NYC welcome party! One stride for him is maybe three strides for me, lol!
lol, indeed, Kim. lol, indeed. What a big, plodding, clumsy doofus.
God I hate myself for publishing this post. Probably almost as much as Humphries hates himself for marrying that broad, but let us not quibble over such trivialities. A dress was almost torn.
[via]
I guess you could say he’s a Black Magic Skipper, huh? You know, if you felt like it.
The fellas at Big League Stew did the requisite research and yes, that most certainly is Cardinals manager Tony La Russa getting his Latin groove on during a Carlos Santana concert at the Fox Theater in St. Louis on Tuesday night. I like how he is kind of hiding out behind the percussionist, lest he be identified and incite a mad riot of St. Louis baseball fans rushing the stage to touch the hem of his garment. Or burn him in effigy. One or the other. Either way, I bet this was Carlos Santana’s most annoying musical collaboration since he had to record “Smooth” with that droll Rob Thomas. Ewwww.
One last stupid Santana joke: in light of the Cardinals’ slide in the NL Central standings as of late, I suppose you could also say that for the Cards to rebound next season, La Russa will have to change his “Evil Ways”. Baby.
[H/T Big League Stew, image via @bweixlman]
Those guys. What an odd — yet original — bunch of musicians. Sure, the band’s latest video, seen above being filmed during the many rain delays at this year’s U.S. Open, probably won’t reach the dizzying heights of success and attain the viral success that their video for “Here It Goes Again” did, but I like what they are doing here.
[image via]
Darren Rovell, evidently in Green Bay for the big 2011 NFL season kickoff extravapalooza featuring, but not limited to, a game between the Packers and the New Orleans Saints, is sampling the local, sophisticated culinary delights of Wisconsin cuisine.
And there is a strong possibility Rovell never leaves the scenic hamlet…unless the CNBC sports business reporter gets an emergency angioplasty, that is. Because if he ate the above sandwich, the monstrosity dubbed the Rockwood Lodge Burger, which features cheddar, sauerkraut, a burger and a split hot link, I weep for his digestive system.
Oh, we must not forget about the cherry tomato on top. Green Bay’s citizens are very serious about healthy balances in their dietary practices.
[via @darrenrovell]
This weekend, because of “overwhelming demand,” the University of Maryland will be auctioning off 10 jerseys and 10 helmets from the universally panned Maryland Pride Collection which made their inauspicious debut last Monday when the Terrapins faced the Miami Hurricanes in an “ugly team vs. ugly program” matchup.
As you likely recall, the response to these fashion fails was swift. And the reaction was brutal, not that the overwhelming ridicule and mockery was not deserved. I mean, look at those things. They look like something a schizophrenic, colorblind seamstress might stitch together out of discarded pieces of fabric for her town’s rugby team. Alternatively, for a pop culture reference, these are the football jersey equivalent of the atrocity created by Denise Huxtable for Theo when all he wanted was to wear a Gordon Gartrell designer shirt in The Cosby Show episode, “A Shirt Story”.
And the helmets? Well, I cannot come up with a decent idea why they look like they do. Just ugly, I guess.
For those interested, you can enter your bids here. The auction opens Friday morning and ends Monday, Sept. 19 at 3:00 p.m. Bids for the hideous helmets and jaw-dropping jerseys starting at $500 and $200, respectively. Happy auctioning!
Maryland Pride Uniforms on the Auction Block [umterps.com (via Dr. Saturday)]
Sure, Comedy Central canceled Onion Sportsdome (and sadly, Sports Show with Norm MacDonald – sigh), but that does not mean the Onion Sports Network is incapable of razor-sharp sports-related satire. The most recent foray involves a new weekly video series called Get Out Of My Face (or GOOMF), which is a parody of ESPN’s Pardon The Interruption.
To wit, this video report on the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, entitled: “Ben Roethlisberger Close To Completing Offseason Without Committing Sex Crime.” So wrong, but so good.
Enjoy the video. It follows below.
Temper, temper. Apparently, Chicago White Sox center fielder Alex Rios was unhappy with either the fact that the umpire called strike three on the pitch from Glen Perkins or that he watched a nice pitch blow by him in the top of 8th inning in his squad’s 5-4 loss to the Minnesota Twins. Rios storms out of the batter’s box, reduces his bat to kindling courtesy of a quick slam of it down on his knee, a la Bo Jackson, before angrily chucking it aside.
Sure, it’s impressive display of rage-induced feats of strength, but how is the bat’s fault, Alex Rios? What did the bat do to deserve such a violent execution? Maybe if you would have swung the darn thing, the poor old bat might have rewarded you with your confidence in it.
Wow, quite the sanctimonious way to memorialize such a solemn anniversary, by unctuously bragging about the stranglehold ESPN has on the sports world, including a capricious attempt at inserting their brand into the observation of national tragedy:
AMERICA PLAYS ON ESPN
Sure, ESPN would probably argue that the header “AMERICA PLAYS ON” is entirely separate from the ESPN logo, but we’re not saps, are we? We know what’s going on here and what they were trying to accomplish with the juxtaposition between the two.
You stay classy, The Worldwide Leader In Sports.
[image via]
While admitting it isn’t the best photo, Michelle Wie debuted her new red-toned hairdo on Twitter just a few hours ago this Thursday morning and count me among those who love the change. Wie is a 21-year-old college student working on her studies at Stanford, not to mention golf prodigy (who hasn’t quite reached her potential, but nevertheless has plenty of time to do so), so why shouldn’t she experiment with her appearance? If not now, when?
Perhaps the new dye job will help Miss Wie shake off all the pressures to be what everybody else wants her to be and somehow be a kind of psychological catalyst through which she starts kicking butt on the LPGA. Stranger things have happened. Look at what happened to Dennis Rodman after he started dyeing his hair. Okay, maybe that’s not the best example. Forget I even mentioned him.
Let’s just hope that Wie doesn’t take it too far with this image makeover. We don’t need her going all goth on us, wearing ratty black clothes, applying heavy black eyeliner and listening to Siouxsie & The Banshees and Bauhuas all the time. That is what goth kids still do these days, right?
[via @themichellewie]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A Swedish man discovered what appeared to be a drunk moose stuck in a neighbor’s tree in southern Sweden. Per Johansson, heard quite the roar from his neighbor’s yard. When he went over to inspect the source of the noise, Johnannson saw a female moose tangled up in his neighbor’s apple tree. The moose likely became intoxicated from eating the fermented apples. Police and rescue crews were able to free the sloshed moose, who was still sleeping it off nearby a day later. [Yahoo!]
• With their release of team-themed lingerie, Newcastle United proves they understand sports marketing. [With Leather]
• The Cleveland Indians bullpen is no match for this squirrel. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The punter for the San Diego Chargers got paid, y’all. [Rumors & Rants]
• Lions head coach Jim Schwartz does not believe in weather. [Shutdown Corner]
• Check out this video of a fan getting hit by a home run ball in San Diego. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Nice bullpen hazing backpacks, White Sox relievers. [Off the Bench]
• Excellent: KSK’s 2001 PREKAKKE: NFC. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Here’s video of Michael Strahan mocking Eli Manning on Mike & Mike. [Bob's Blitz]
• John Mayberry of the Philadelphia Phillies used his agent to try and pick up a chick. [Big League Stew]
• The Packer Mobile is headed to Lambeau, kiddies! [Busted Coverage]
• Rex Ryan wants to get busy or die tryin’. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: NFL To Fine Fans For Excessive Celebrations
This has been making the rounds about the interwebs for a bit but it is too freaking incredible not to touch upon. Apparently, these two British announcers are huge fans of downhill mountain bike rider Danny Hart. Their overly-enthusiastic, near-rapturous joy at witnessing Hart careening down the track at breakneck speed is simply stunning. If Hart’s run would have lasted ten seconds longer, either one of them would have had a massive aneurysm or the excitement of it all would have caused one of their heads to blow clear off their body, Scanners-style.
Money quote:
“WHAT THE HELL?!?!? HOW DOES DANNY HART SIT DOWN WITH BALLS THAT BIG?!!?!”
Awesome. The intensity these blokes brought to the telecast is utterly jaw-dropping. Really, I have nothing more to add. Just watch, listen, be amazed and you’ll understand.
[H/T Deadspin]
Set to debut during Monday Night Football next week, above is the first in what I am sure will be many commercials featuring Tom Brady walking around in UGG footwear to hip hop beats. All in all, the shoes don’t look so bad, given this is what I have come to expect to see when I think of a typical pair of UGGs.
The inside scoop on the ads, from Sports Business Journal Daily (via Off the Bench):
Santa Barbara-based footwear brand UGG will debut its first TV spot featuring Patriots QB Tom Brady during Monday’s Patriots-Dolphins “MNF” game on ESPN. “Steps,” from M&C Saatchi, L.A., is the first wave of a campaign with Brady to support the UGG men’s line of footwear and outerwear, which will run across TV, digital, print and outdoor. Three additional spots will run online.
The UGG Revolution is upon us. You have been warned. But I do have one issue with the commercial’s soundtrack. Tom Brady doesn’t strike me a big hip hop guy. To me, some Carnival-inspired music would have been much more appropriate.
Walk This Way: Tom Brady’s First UGG Commercial To Debut During “MNF” [Sports Business Journal Daily (via Off the Bench)]
It looks to me like Francisco Liriano just gave up a moon shot to Spongebob. I can see that.
Apologies for the second blatantly homeristic Twins post of the day, but this one was far too bizarre to pass up. Michael Rand of RandBall fame was sent a press release from something called 2K Play. In it, they tout their upcoming video game release, Nicktoons MLB, and let’s just say, according to how they explain it, might be the best video game ever.
On to the press release:
Did you ever wonder what it would be like to watch Joe Nathan pitch against SpongeBob SquarePants? With 2K Play’s upcoming Nicktoons MLB video game, Twins fans will wonder no more. The attached screenshot proves it! Available next week on Tuesday, September 13th for Xbox 360 with support for Kinect, Wii and Nintendo DS, Nicktoons MLB is rated E for “Everyone,” so it’s perfect for each and every Twins family to enjoy together.
The game allows fans to spice up the Twins lineup like never before by adding beloved Nickelodeon Nicktoons characters like SpongeBob SquarePants and Dudley Puppy to a roster of real-life Minnesota Twins players (and any of the other 29 MLB clubs should they choose). Set in iconic MLB stadiums as well as six outrageous Nicktoons-inspired stadiums, Nicktoons MLB gives all-new meaning to the phrase “one for the record books!” To see six of Minnesota’s finest in action alongside the animated all-stars.
Oh, the possibilities. For instance, slated for release on Nickelodeon sometime this year is the animated series, Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. So, theoretically, Kung Fu Panda Pablo Sandoval could take some mighty swings at pitches thrown by Kung Fu Panda. Strange times, indeed.
[additional screengrabs of Twins players interacting with Nicktoons characters can be found at RandBall]
Unless acted upon by a net unbalanced force, that is. Say, a lockout, for example, or something of that nature.
In any event, Sir Isaac Newton would be proud of LeBron James and his interest in physics. Good for you, sir.
[via]
