Archive for August, 2011
Now, if this story doesn’t get the waterworks going or at the very least touch your heart, well, I feel sorry for you.
Gracie and Ruby Weichman, twin four-year-old girls, were all excited to take in a game featuring the hometown Spokane Indians and the visiting Yakima Bears, Short Season-A classification teams for the Texas Rangers and Arizona Diamondbacks, respectively. Little did they know that they had a surprise coming their way that not only thrilled them, but moved the entire crowd of 4,005 people at Avista Stadium on Monday night.
Gracie and Rubie had won a contest that allowed them to come down onto the field and participate in a paper toss during the fourth inning. Unbeknownst to the little girls, their daddy, Sgt. Chris Weichman, was back on American soil after completing his third tour of duty in Afghanistan. Even better, he was in the Indians dugout.
As the girls stood on the field, Sgt. Weichman emerged from the dugout and walked up to them. Of course, the girls, not knowing their father was home, ran across the field to him. Weichman dropped to his knees and tears flowed as he embraced his little girls and was reunited with his wife for the first time in six months.
Video follows.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Three more victims have emerged of the infamous Butt Slasher, bringing the total to nine incidents where women had their backsides slashed by this cretinous degenerate while shopping in northern Virginia since early February. Officers suspect that one individual is responsible for all the attacks. Ouch. A serial butt slasher. That’s gotta hurt. Both the actual butt slashing and the difficulty of the case that detectives now have to, um, crack. [msnbc]
• Here’s a photo of the lovely and talented Michelle Beadle, just sitting on a porta potty. That is all. [Busted Coverage]
• Is Reggie Bush begging Kim Kardashian to take him back? Do we care? [Rumors & Rants]
• The NBA lockout could cost NBA 2K12 a whole lot of money. [Ball Don't Lie]
• More on the lockout: what it can teach us about the players. [The Basketball Jones]
• Brilliant: Here’s the email you just received from your fantasy football league commissioner. [Sports Pickle]
• Video of a soccer ref getting bumped, punched, kicked, hit in the head with the ball and then chased. Not a good day for that guy. [Bob's Blitz]
• On the entire “Toronto Blue Jays stealing signs” kerfuffle. [PineRiders]
• If you’re a Leo, here’s Baron Davis reading your horoscope. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Happy days, folks, happy days: the return of the Sex Cannon, a/k/a Rex Grossman. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Check out Ochocinco’s new room! [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Area Loser Blissfully Unaffected By Whims Of Stock Market
Hey, I’m all for NFL coaches attempting to lighten the mood and ease the workload by organizing activities that help take the players’ minds off the grueling nature of training camp, but come on, Coach Marvin Lewis: there is no way that ball is going to work for a kickball tournament. Look at the size of that thing! Even with the size and strength of professional football players, there is no way anyone is going to be able to kick that thing out of the infield. I mean, you need the help of one of your Cincinnati Bengals players just to move the gosh-darned thing!
Silly Marvin Lewis. I think the grind of coaching the Bungles for eight years, going on nine now, has finally started to take a horrible toll on him. Poor guy.
[image via]
After a particularly sloppy and underwhelming practice from the Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers on Monday night, quarterback Aaron Rodgers attempted to lighten the mood and quell any reasons for concern for Cheesehead Nation by performing a tongue-in-cheek impression of Allen Iverson’s infamous “We’re talking about practice” rant for the assembled media.
Via the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel‘s Packers Blog:
“Practice? We talking about practice?” the quarterback said at Tuesday’s media session. “We’re not talking about a game. We’re talking about practice. … Uh, practice? I’m not overly concerned. It was a tough environment inside. We just have to clean things up a little bit. Too many mental mistakes.”
Well played, Mr. Rodgers. Now, if you would be so kind, from a Vikings fan to the quarterback of our most-hated rival: please continue to mimic Allen Iverson by getting some cornrows and tattoos. That would be hilarious. And if you want to go play professional sports in Turkey, I suppose that’s fine as well.
Rodgers: “We talking about practice?” [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]
Throwing political correctness caution to the wind, the minor league outfit Arkansas Travelers have a “Pre-Game Midget Wrestling” event scheduled for August 12th. The Travelers, the Double-A affiliate of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim who play in the Texas League, have been down the Midget Wrestling path a few times before (here’s a slideshow from their 2006 foray into the glamorous world of midget wrestling), and appear to have no qualms with referring to these miniscule maulers with such an antiquated, insensitive name. But hey, this is Arkansas we’re talking about here. I keed, I keed! Salt of the earth, those Arkansas-ians.
The details on the event, via the Official Site of Minor League Baseball’s “Promo Preview”:
…Friday marks the return of pregame midget wrestling, a decidedly un-PC bout between Bobby Dean and Lil Kato. The winner receives the World Midget Wrestling Heavyweight Championship belt, custom designed for the petite waist.
Ooh, Bobby Dean and Lil Kato are squaring off? I don’t have to tell you there is no love lost between those two combatants. Granted, it’s not much love, given their diminutive stature, but for them, it sure feels like a lot.
But I have to be honest, using the term “Midget Wrestling” is so out of touch in the enlightened society we now live in. We have moved on, become more cognizant of how the words we use can alienate and ostracize those who might be a bit different from us. That is why I suggest the Travelers go with a more friendly name for the event:
Little Freak Wrestling. It’s a much more inclusive description of the event. You know, that way the wrestlers feel like they are members of a larger subset of society. Of freaks. Oh, I’m kidding, all you little people out there. Some of my best friends are little people. They all belong to a guild of some sort or another, but they won’t let me join. Now who’s being exclusionary and short-sighted?
Promo Preview [The Official Site of Minor League Baseball]
As a proud papa of an infant girl, as I am sure is the case with any other parents of babies out there, I have often watched by nearly 3-month-old baby and thought, “Do you know what would help her with rolling over from back to front all by herself for the first time and help expedite her transition into her crawling stage? A pair of cleats to dig into the carpet, that’s what!”
Thankfully, there is a company out there that also saw the lack of baby cleats in the marketplace: First Cleats. The motto of the company speaks for itself: “First Cleats Make Every Baby An MVB (Most Valuable Baby.”
The brainchild of Diana Lynn Ultican, who know serves as the Executive VP of the, um, newborn operation – and I didn’t confirm this, but I think we’re safe in this assumption – First Cleats is the first company solely devoted to the baby cleats market.
From KOMO News (via Off the Bench):
“My daughter and I got the idea for First Cleats after watching her children, my grandchildren, play sports,” said Executive VP of First Cleats Diana Lynn Ultican. “We were having a get together one night and we thought about the idea for the shoes and getting new born babies on the path to athleticism.”
Brilliant. It’s high time parents stopped allowing their infant children to get by so easily, living high on the hog, and get them on the right path to athleticism. As any parent can attest, all babies primarily do is poop and eat all day. Is that the kind of attitudes you want to instill in your children and the life lessons you would like to teach to an infant right from the get go? I think not! Children’s sports is a highly competitive endeavor. You cannot afford to be lackadaisical about adequately preparing your infant for a lifetime of trying to get ahead. You snooze, you lose, I say. Especially with all the naps babies take. Geez, talk about lazy.
If that’s not the case, then why in the hell would the New York Yankees pitcher had gotten that ridiculous haircut? I mean, look at that thing! Look at it!
I can see Burnett on stage now: “Um, um, well, y-y-y-you d-d-d-don’t have to t-t-t-tell her, Miss Ratched.”
I’m thinking a Tony Award might be in the offing for him. Obviously, Burnett has already exhibited an incredible commitment to the character.
Note: of course, if I had my druthers, I would suggest Pablo Sandoval for the role of Martini, expertly portrayed in the film by Danny DeVito. I just have a hunch that Kung Fu Panda would nail it.
[H/T for the pic of Burnett to Larry Brown Sports]
So I guess you could say that the odds that you will see the Chicago Bears quarterback pimping some product on your television are slim to none, amirite?
Ah, I kid, but in an interview with Sports Illustrated, the surly Cutler insists that is why he hasn’t spent much time exploring the celebrity pitchman angle provided by his stardom: he doesn’t feel right about doing such a thing until he delivers Chicago a Super Bowl championship.
From the horse’s mouth (via Chicago Breaking Sports):
“I was in Denver, not a huge market, came to Chicago and haven’t really (sought out) a lot of marketing opportunities because we haven’t accomplished what I want to on the field yet,” Cutler said. “Until we get to the Super Bowl, win Super Bowls and are successful there, then I don’t think it’s right for me to go out there and venture into those other markets.”
If that’s what Cutler chooses to say is the reason why he hasn’t pursued marketing opportunities, that’s his prerogative, but I believe we all know the score here: to a company seeking out someone to endorse their product, Cutler is about as close to certifiable marketing poison as you can get. What company in their right mind would seek out Cutler, with his perceived bad attitude, haughty and off-putting facial expressions and, in my opinion, an overall unmarketable persona, to be the face of their product? Can you imagine how that pitch meeting would go? Unless the sit-down was to come up with an advertising angle featuring a known personality for some product called Jagoff Cologne or Douchejuice Cola that I haven’t heard of, I imagine it would not go very well.
On the other hand, I suppose there may have been scores of companies that have reached out to Cutler to promote their wares in the past, but Cutler is right on one thing: if you ask me, it’s likely going to require a Super Bowl championship for Cutler to adequately cultivate an image worthy of a celebrity pitchman. Unless there really is something called Jagoff Cologne, but who would ever use a cologne named that? Well, maybe Alex Rodriguez or someone like that, but talk about limiting your market reach.
A Cutler commercial? Super Bowl comes first [Chicago Breaking Sports]
It certainly has developed into the Year of the Stories About Caught Souvenir Baseballs this season in the MLB. Some entries into the annals were quite controversial with shameful displays of selfishness, others were not controversial at all but some nattering nabobs of negativity insisted on turning them into something they were not (see comments section in the above linked post) and now we have what occurred Tuesday night during the Pittsburgh Pirates-San Francisco Giants game that comes straight out of Bizarro World: an adolescent Giants fan actually catching a ball in the stands and turning around and giving it to an adult fan. What the fungus?
As you can see in the video linked here (shame on you MLB.com for not making this video embeddable), a foul ball is hit into the stands by Pirates catcher Ryan Doumit. The scraggly-haired lad comes down with it and while he clearly had possession of the ball, without any provocation on anyone’s part whatsoever, gladly handed the ball to the older gentlemen in the red jacket seated in the row in front of him, for which the boy receives a high five. How about that?
It turns out, as it was subsequently revealed by the Giants broadcasters, the boy was simply repaying the kind gesture paid to him by the Man in the Red Jacket, who had given the boy a ball that he had caught earlier in the game. Tit for tat. It’s nice when things work out like that, although I am sure that once again, some people will take issue with something that occurred in the video, like how the guy shouldn’t have accepted the ball from the kid or something. Some people, they just can’t leave well enough alone.
[H/T Big League Stew]
A sore thumb, to be sure. A sore, plaid thumb to be exact. Actually, a sore, plaid thumb rocking some über-casual blue jeans to really drive the point home. But hey, that’s how Johnny Boy rolls and that’s what we love about the guy.
Daly, who won the 1991 PGA Championship at Crooked Stick as a virtual unknown in his rookie year on tour, not to mention the ninth and final alternate for the tournament, has come a long, long, long way since that wondrous weekend in suburban Indianapolis. Some ups, lots of downs, but there he is, still being himself all these years later. Some might say he’s not taking the formal nature of the Past Champions Dinner seriously and giving it the proper respect it deserves, but hey, he did put a jacket on. That should count for something. And he isn’t even the only past champion to fly in the face of fashion convention: take a look at Tiger in the back row. A white sport coat? Or is it cream? Hard to say, but in any event, why doesn’t Tiger just cut to the chase, buy a pair of matching shoes and move to Miami Beach, for crying out loud?
[image via @PGA_JohnDaly on Lockerz]
Two writers in the employ of MLB.com who were covering the Colorado Rockies-Cincinnati Reds were robbed at gunpoint by a man as they left the Great American Ball Park at approximately 1:30 a.m. early Tuesday morning. A long rain delay was the cause for the writers to be leaving the ballpark at such a late hour. The writers, Barry Bloom and Thomas Harding, say that they both had credit cards stolen by the robber and lost $500 and $100 in cash, respectively. Boy, that’s a pretty nice amount of bread to be carrying around for an online writer. MLB.com must compensate their scribes pretty well.
Via Sporting News:
“I thought the guy was a fan as he approached, but he said, ‘We can do this the easy way or the hard way,’” Bloom told the Dayton Daily News. “I started to walk away and he began yelling at me and pulled this big gun that looked like a Glock. He said, ‘Put your wallets on the ground.’ We did and he picked them up and ran off.”
Jeez, talk about a scary situation. But in the end, both Bloom and Harding were unharmed in the incident, less the loss of cash and some rattled nerves, I’m sure, so that’s a relief.
Now, I’ve never been to the Great American Ball Park, nor have I ever visited the fine city of Cincinnati, for that matter, so if someone could enlighten me as to the kind of neighborhood the ballpark is in, it would be much appreciated. Of course, walking the streets in any major metropolitan area can be a hazardous thing to do at that time of night, but is the Great American Ball Park surrounded by the same kind of urban landscape as U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago? Because I have been there and some areas around that stadium, well, let me put it to you this way: it’s a little unsettling, even by the light of day. But I suppose that’s part of the South Side’s charms in its own right.
MLB.com writers robbed at gunpoint outside Great American Ballpark [Sporting News]
Above is a photo uploaded by Nike Golf illustrating how Tiger Woods was the only guy at the driving range at 6:30 this morning as the golfer ramps up his preparation before he competes this week in the 93rd PGA Championship at the Atlanta Athletic Club.
Like many things, I suppose hitting practice shots in the dark has the potential to be a more enjoyable experience. That way, one is not subjected to a completely clear picture of how things are going one way or the other courtesy of the illumination granted by daylight, or unnatural light, as it were. And given the questionable appearance of some of the gals Tiger ran with during his Whoreapalooza tour, my guess this isn’t the first time he was comforted by some relative darkness. Just saying.
[image via @nikegolf]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• For he who is without sin, cast the first tase? Don’t tase me, Lord? I don’t know exactly how they usually roll at New Welcome Baptist Church in St. Elmo, Alabama, but I hope that an incident where the pastor is tased and a woman gets stabbed isn’t a part of a typical church service. Simone Moore, a self-proclaimed R&B artist, tased the pastor after he was handed his last check after he was dismissed as the church’s minister of music. In the subsequent scuffle, a deacon of the church pulled out a pocket knife and began stabbing Moore’s mother. Sweet Jesus, indeed. [msnbc]
• I’d like to start off today’s links by bidding a fond, yet sad, farewell to the esteemed hockey blog, Melt Your Face Off. Some of you might know that MYFO is where I got my start in the blogging game, so it is with some sadness that I recognize its end. So long, fellas, and best of luck. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Chad Ochocinco is intending to live with a fan during the first few weeks of the season. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Holy decapitated head bowling ball, Batman! [Busted Coverage]
• The San Francisco Giants will be holding a Star Wars Day and part of the event will be a “Brian Wilson Frozen In Carbonite” giveaway. [Off the Bench]
• A mustachioed Bill Simmons was disturbing enough, but how about a mustachioed Bill Simmons who is also a pirate? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• These “I Love Lucy” jerseys the Jamestown Jammers wore last week were certainly interesting. [Big League Stew]
• Jason Terry makes an appearance in some music video for a millionaire rapper I have never heard of. [The Basketball Jones]
• The goalie for Barcelona drilled the scoreboard at Cowboys Stadium. [Outside the Boxscore]
• The NFL has announced a super-awesome promotion that no one should really care about. [Shutdown Corner]
• Ten caddie do’s and don’t's. [Sports Pickle]
• An amusing look at acceptable foul ball etiquette. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Scientists Trace Heat Wave To Massive Star At Center Of Solar System
Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford is having one helluva season: not only individually (32 saves in 34 chances), but in the team sense of the game as well, as he and the Brew Crew currently sit atop the NL Central standings, three games up on the St. Louis Cardinals. But something was missing for this, shall we say, “unique” closer (note: now there are two words that never go together, but if you need evidence, here he is playing ping pong and here is the first page of his profile in Maxim).
So, what was lacking in Axford’s life? he wants to be a pitchman for AXE Body Spray. It makes sense when you think about it, Axford – AXE Body Spray, the copy practically writes itself. But how bad does he want to develop a relationship with the AXE line of products, you ask? So desperately, he even created his own sample ad, as you can see above. Double Pits to the Chesty, indeed.
Axford unveiled his creation last night on Twitter, and while he admitted that Photoshop is hard, he was overall pleased with his work output, adding that his ad has a retro feel to it. Personally? I think it is phenomenal. If this doesn’t attract the attention of the brain wizards at AXE, nothing will.
[H/T Bugs & Cranks]
It’s funny, you see, because an imaginary player with a randomly chosen name and created for a video game has the very same name of a woman who was accused of being at least complicit in the murder of her own daughter but was later found innocent of the most egregious charges against her relating to her child’s death during a trial by her peers, much to the chagrin of Nancy Grace. Ha.
And say what you want about the coincidence, it would still probably be far better for a college football program’s future to sign Casey Anthony than Reggie Bush. Just saying.
[HT @PaulPabst via @darrenrovell]
