Archive for August, 2011
Earlier this year, a video emerged featuring San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum delivering a pitch in super-slow-motion (above). It was sponsored by something called “Red Bull Moments” and now the partnership between the “unique” tasting beverage (but mighty tasty with Jäger…Jäger) and the pitcher has been taken to another level: there will now be a contest where the person who can best duplicate Lincecum’s unorthodox delivery will win the opportunity to step up to the plate and take a few rips (and likely misses) at some pitches from the right-hander during spring training next year.
The details of the contest, via the San Francisco Chronicle:
The entry period for fans to submit their best version of the right-hander’s pitching motion began Tuesday and goes through Sept. 16. They can go to facebook.com/timlincecum.
Lincecum says the “Red Bull Ultimate” competition will be judged in multiple rounds based on creativity, originality, performance and skill level, and demonstrated passion for the sport and Lincecum.
Entries are limited to one per person.
So, set up your video cameras or what have you and try duplicating the windup and delivery showcased in the above video. You just might get to hang out with Tim Lincecum at spring training. Heck, play your cards right and perhaps you might even get drilled with a pitch from Lincecum because obviously, you’ll have no idea what the hell you’re doing while shaking in your shoes in the batter’s box. I know if I won, I would look as inept and hopeless as John Kruk did against Randy Johnson in the 1993 All-Star Game. But then again, I’m kind of a neo maxi zoom dweebie.
Lincecum challenging fans to video competition [San Francisco Chronicle]
Say what you want about NFL kickers: they’re soft, they shouldn’t be regarded as “real” NFL players, and so on and so forth. Yet some things remain irrevocably true no matter how one feels about a kicker’s relative worth and overall manliness when compared to other players: due to their grueling training regimen and unique workout routines, they are incredibly flexible and as you can see by the above photo of Indianapolis Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri, when prompted, can be quite the cut-ups.
Also, say what you want about sports bloggers, in particular yours truly: they’re sophomoric, they shouldn’t be regarded as “real” writers, and so on and so forth. Yet one fact remains irrevocably true no matter how one feels about a sports blogger’s relative worth and overall talent when compared to other writers: it really does look like Vinatieri is ripping one in the above photo, and doing so in impressive fashion at that. And that my friends, is funny, no matter which way you cut it. The cheese, that is.
[image via]
Back in June, the soccer world was abuzz (perhaps “abuzz” isn’t the right word in light of topic, but I digress) regarding Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney emerging for the first time in public with his brand-spanking new hair transplant. Well, leave it to the folks at Electronic Arts Sports to make sure that their new soccer video game, FIFA 12, has the many shades, textures and surgically-inserted follicles that color the grand game covered down to the minutest details, including, as you can see above, Rooney’s aforementioned hair plugs. And boy, does his scalp look simply smashing. It makes him look, three, four months younger. Sy Sperling would be proud…if he wasn’t so dead inside.
[H/T EPL Talk]
Apologies for two Dallas Cowboys-themed posts in such rapid succession (see the story regarding Miles & Tony’s Date Night here), but the comments made by head coach Jason Garrett regarding the difficulty in defining what exactly a physical team was far too titillating to pass up. Yep, Garrett compared the attempts at defining a physical team to the complexities involved in defining pornography.
The quote in its entirety can be found here, but what follows is the relevant excerpt for the purposes of our discussion:
“it’s hard to define but you know what it is when you see it; it’s a physical sport,” Garrett said. “At the end of the day, you need to be the one doing the hitting rather than being the hit-ee. It’s little bit like the description of pornography from years back. It’s hard to define it. But you know what it is at the end of it. It’s hard to define it. I think you know who is more physical.”
Ha. Bow-chick-a-bow-wow. Yes, much like porn, determining who is doing the hitting and who is the hit-ee is definitely a worthwhile component of what you are watching and attempting to define. But if I could, allow me to summarize Garrett’s theory about the similarities between defining a physical team and pornography (at least at its core and purest form) a bit more succinctly:
It’s all about the penetration.
Jason Garrett compares being a physical team to pornography? [The Dallas Morning News]
If there is one thing that can build some camaraderie and much-needed chemistry between a quarterback and a wide receiver it most surely would be exploring a budding bromance courtesy of a date night. And what better idea for a bromantical date night than catching a flick and playing some video games together?
Obviously, Dallas Cowboys teammates Tony Romo and Miles Austin know how to maintain the spark in their relationship as evidenced by these pics snapped by a TMZ photog of Rostin (that’s the celebrity couple name I am giving the two as I am not creative at all) spending a night out on the town going to see The Rise of the Planet of the Apes and honing their teamwork by playing some tandem Star Trek: Voyager. Those two: talk about compatibility. Match.com couldn’t have paired these two in a bromance better, although I’m pretty sure seeing these photos are going to make Dez Bryant and Jason Whitten crazy jealous.
Finally, no word on whether the couple retired to one of their abodes to take in the bromantastic episode of Franklin & Bash, cleverly entitled, “Bro Bono”, because that would have been a perfect way to end a perfect night. And you just know that Romo loves that show.
Tony Romo & Miles Austin The Cowboy Movie Date [TMZ]
Attention all Photoshoppers: I give to you this sublime photo of Sergio Garcia reacting to a putt by Charl Schwartzel during a practice round in advance of the PGA Championship later this week. I refer to it as “Sprightly Sergio” and it is gold. It is nearly as amusing of a golf photo as “Mentally-Challenged Golfing Tom Brady”, and that’s saying something.
With that said, if the above photo isn’t perfect for some Photoshop tomfoolery, well, I don’t know what photo would be. So have at it, crafty Photoshop practitioners, and send me your creations at weedagainstspeed@gmail.com. If I receive some inspired submissions, I will publish them with full credit (if requested) later this week. Good luck! For some inspiration, feel free to peruse this gallery from the Andy Reid O-Face Photoshop Contest from Kissing Suzy Kolber.
[image via]
Deion Sanders: NFL Hall of Famer, Snoop Dogg collaborator. Yiggy yes, y’all.
See? I can drop some dope rhymes, too. Hey Snoop, if you ever want to team up with someone for a song about the hard-hitting world of sports blogging , hit me up.
The scoop on the new track, “Fame,” via Sporting News:
The pair reportedly performed the song following Sanders’ induction on Saturday night in Canton, Ohio. Snoop Dogg reportedly flew in from overseas to support his friend’s induction and perform with Nelly and Sanders. Decked in a replica gold blazer, Snoop Dogg and Sanders also closed out the show with a rendition of Prime Time’s own 1994 hit “Must Be The Money.”
Man, I forgot that Sanders actually did release a rap album. And for that, I’m grateful.
And as far as Snoop is concerned? God, this song makes me long for the halcyon days of The Chronic and Doggystyle so much.
Snoop Dogg, Deion Sanders release new Hall of Fame song [Sporting News]
Well, it didn’t take long for THE BEST CADDIE WHO HAS EVER CADDIED EVER (in his mind, I assume) to decide it might be high time to eat some humble pie regarding his antics on Sunday after Adam Scott won the WGC Bridgestone Invitational when he blasted Tiger Woods and referred to the win “the most satisfying victory of my career.” The fact that he has been getting criticized from all angles for his attention-seeking behavior might have something to do with his decision. Just a little bit.
His mea culpa, of sorts (via The Telegraph):
“Looking back on it, I was a bit over the top,” Williams said. “I had a lot of anger in me about what happened and it all came out.
“I said what I said, but I’m not going to say any more about Tiger. I had a lot of emotions going on all week. You hear people say ‘How good are you now that you’re not caddieing for Tiger?’, things like that and it makes you want to prove yourself.
“When we were coming down the stretch and all those people were calling out my name, I mean I’ve never experienced anything like that and when Adam won, all of a sudden, all that emotion poured out.”
Well, I suppose we should give him some credit for owning up to his error in judgment due to the jolt he got from all the adulation he was receiving from the gallery. What’s done is done and apparently, if we are to trust Williams, he’s not going to say any more about Tiger anyway. Writing any more about Tiger, on the other hand, might be a different story altogether.
Tiger Woods’ ex-caddie Steve Williams regrets criticising former employer after Bridgestone Invitational [The Telegraph]
While he was busy carving out a respectable eight-year career on the field as a linebacker for the Green Bay Packers, including winning a Super Bowl championship last season, I’m pretty confident Nick Barnett was not spending a lot of time paying attention to the trials and tribulations of the Buffalo Bills. It would be a compliment to say that the woeful franchise has achieved even a modicum of relevance in the NFL over the past 10 years (one winning season) , so for Barnett to say the following regarding his ending up in Buffalo as a free agent during a recent interview with Eric Smith on The Fan 590 in Toronto is, as referenced above, a bit of a head-scratcher.
How tough it was this offseason for him in free agency:
“The funny thing about this year is that teams didn’t have a lot of time to work these free agents. Of course they did their due diligence with seeing who was available but for me not knowing if I was going to be available or not it was just a chaos process. Luckily it worked out well for me. I found a home in a great place with great fans and so much potential. I’m excited about being here, excited about my home. Sad to leave Green Bay but that’s part of the business. Things happen. I spent eight years and you don’t see a lot of people doing that in this day and age in the NFL. I’m excited to have accomplished that but it’s time to move on and be a part of this Bills’ mafia.”
Bills mafia? What the heck? Am I missing something here? The word “mafia” conjures up images of well-organized, immensely successful and expertly run organizations (albeit nefariously corrupt ones), not, you know, the Bills. Unless we’re talking about some backwards, inept mafia-type organization. Like the Canadian mafia. Haven’t heard of them? There you go. Their problem is they are far too nice to accomplish anything, except getting the Bills to play a few games in Toronto from time to time, and let’s be honest, that’s not the kind of achievement to hang your hat on.
UPDATE: Thanks to some intrepid commenters, I have now been made aware of the “Bills Mafia” referenced in Barnett’s comments. Now his quote makes much more sense. Thanks for the heads up and pointing out my laziness, folks.
Nick Barnett’s Is Excited To “Be A Part Of This Bills’ Mafia” [Sports Radio Interviews]
Yeah, that doesn’t sound like much fun at all. Undergoes colonoscopy, intestinal turmoil…yowsers. Not a very pleasant experience in the least, I’m sure.
Thank you, Hardball Talk’s Aaron Gleeman, for making me extremely grateful I am only dealing with a bit of gut rot from drinking too much coffee this morning. Intestinal turmoil. That kind of condition makes it seem like he was a passenger on the space freighter Nostromo or something. Sheesh.
Bobby Jenks undergoes colonoscopy after being hospitalized for “intestinal turmoil” [Hardball Talk]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Yep, in news that I am sure will spoil your next visit to the town of Pisa, Italy, erotic-themed souvenirs have now been banned in the city’s shops by the mayor. Any vendor caught selling t-shirts depicting the Leaning Tower as a penis or aprons highlighting Michelangelo’s David’s penis face a fine of up to $700. Mama mia! [msnbc]
• This photo of Lions fans wearing spandex with cell phones stuffed in their crotches are as disturbing as you would expect them to be. [Busted Coverage]
• Radio host Tony Bruno has been suspended one week for his “illegal alien” comments about a Giants pitcher. [Off the Bench]
• An irate fan sent hate mail after seeing Tim Tebow wear his hat backwards. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Fantastic piece regarding how Steve Williams broke the caddie code with his antics on Sunday. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Ron Artest hung out with Celene Dion in Vegas. Yep. [With Leather]
• Here’s a pic of Chris Bosh’s ginormous back tattoo. [The Basketball Jones]
• Video of Real Madrid taking on 109 Chinese kids in a soccer match. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Hines Ward riding on top of the Batmobile? Hines Ward riding on top of the Batmobile. [Bob's Blitz]
• Speaking of which, here are some ideas about if more fictional cities had sports teams. [TAUNTR]
• Peter King: the douche that time forgot. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Brilliant: Realistic Stadium Bathroom Rules. [Sports Pickle]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Broncos Center Apologizes To Team After Accidentally Snapping Ball To Brady Quinn
Above is a photo showcasing some new ink junior Michigan State University Spartans defensive tackle Jerel Worthy got recently which pretty much encapsulates the negative feelings he was for his squad’s cross-state rivals, the Michigan Wolverines. As you can see, it features a Spartan, armed with sword, standing victorious over his vanquished foe: a Wolverine sporting a Michigan helmet. Pretty cool, indeed.
So, tell us, Mr. Worthy, what prompted you to articulate your hatred of the Wolverines in tattoo form? From the Dayton Daily News (via Dr. Saturday):
“It was something that I just thought up,” he said. “I was thinking about getting a Spartans tattoo anyway. I threw a couple ideas up in the air and this is what we came up with.
“… I was with some friends who play for Michigan. I have a lot of guys that I grew up with in the city of Dayton; I was with those guys. It was laughs and giggles. They actually thought it was pretty cool. My strength coach and the other coaches approved of it. I’m going to live with it and go with it.”
Fair enough. However, is a battle to the death between a spartan and a wolverine even a fair fight? I question the appropriateness of such a tattoo. Instead of armed combat between a warrior and a weasel, albeit a ferocious one, what would the outcome be if the Spartan had to take on a wolverine in a competition that better takes into account the member of the Mustelidae family’s unique gifts, say, skinning the rivals and turning each of the competitors’ hides into a warm, water-resistant parka? I think we all know who would come out ahead in that one.
Further, what’s next for Worthy? Does he plan on getting additional tattoos depicting a Spartan defeating other rivals’ namesakes? For instance, now that Nebraska is a member of the Big Ten, should Worthy get a tattoo of a Spartan out-shucking a Cornhusker? Actually, that one would be pretty cool. I say go for it, Jerel.
Wayne grad gets tattoo of wolverine being crushed [Dayton Daily News (via Dr. Saturday)]
Had the rain not temporarily delayed the beginning of Sunday’s tilt between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Florida Marlins at Sun Life Stadium and the game had started on time instead, there would have been at least four, maybe five additional fans in this photo. See, it’s funny because no one ever attends Marlins games. Yeah.
Okay, on second thought, four or five additional fans might be a bit on the high side as an estimate, but the crowd in this section would have at least doubled. Which would have been nice for the hometown squad.
[image via]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Matthew Bihn faces charges of destruction of property and unlawful deposit (ha!) after he was caught “yellow-handed” urinating on six-packs of malt liquor in a Rapid City, South Dakota Walmart. A hilarious story all the way around – Walmart truly is the Holy Temple of White Trash, but I love the name of one of the charges: unlawful deposit. Ain’t that the truth. [azcentral]
• Boy, Steve Williams sure is holding a grudge against Tiger Woods. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Deion Sanders disgraced the Hall of Fame by shilling for a corporate sponsor during the ceremony. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Radio host Tony Bruno called a Giants pitcher an “illegal alien” on Twitter. [Off the Bench]
• According to this graphic, one of Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels keys to victory is to “drop a deuce.” Ha. [Busted Coverage]
• Video of Heinz Field getting “blown up” for the new Dark Knight film. [Bob's Blitz]
• Video of a squirrel digging up a nut on the fairway of the 12th hole during the WGC Bridgestone Invitational. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Profiling 10 quarterbacks who will be lining up behind center this upcoming NFL season. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Public Urinator Gives Passerby Dirty Look
Moobs? Check. Spare tire? Check. The perceived attitude of overall jolliness? Check again. Not that I should talk, but it certainly looks like Washington Redskins signal caller really enjoyed the NFL lockout. And by “enjoyed” I of course mean he has now been banned from every all-you-can-eat buffet within 25 miles of his home.
Seriously, what’s the deal with athletes playing for Washington D.C.’s sports teams developing a bit of a paunch during the offseason? First it was Alexander Ovehckin, now it’s Rex Grossman. All I know is if John Wall shows up on the interwebs weighing 325 pounds, it might indicate there is something of an epidemic occurring in our nation’s capital. An epidemic of overeating. But who really cares, right? It just means there’s more of the Sex Cannon for the ladies to love.
[H/T @tascma (via Shutdown Corner)]
