Blake Griffin Runs Over Squirrel, Realizes That Casey Anthony Is A Monster
Wait. What? This tweet from Blake Griffin is all sorts of confusing. Now, I understand how running over a squirrel – or any animal for that matter – can make a person feel profoundly guilty. You should have seen how bad I felt after I ran over all those penguins (don’t even ask me how I ended up driving my car through the local zoo’s South Pole exhibit). But how did Griffin arrive at the conclusion that Casey Anthony is a monster simply because of the pangs of guilt he felt after running down a squirrel…
Unless…unless the squirrel Blake Griffin ran over was his child! Holy moly! Can you imagine? And how did he know it was his child? Did the squirrel resemble him? Or was it possible this squirrel had mad hops or something like his father? And if Blake Griffin’s squirrel child did possess his considerable leaping ability, why didn’t Squirrel Griffin Child simply jump out of the way? Unless…unless Blake Griffin WANTED his Squirrel Griffin Child dead. Squirrelfanticide? Seriously? Now that’s something he should feel guilty about. Just pay the squirrel support and be done with it, Blake. I can’t imagine acorns cost that much.