Archive for July, 2011
And no, this is not coming from a self-admitted (and self-loathing) tortured Vikings fan who has had to experience the inevitable ups and down due to the Deal with the Devil the Vikings made with Favre a few seasons ago, this unavoidable sense of sobering dread stems from the belief that anything Brett Favre does that is even remotely close to football-related lends credence to the possibility that the Ol’ Gunslinger might believe he still has a little left in the tank and will begin torturing NFL fans with his “Aw, shucks” routine regarding whether or not he might return for another season. We don’t need that. We don’t deserve that.
Regardless of what it all means, the fact remains that Vikings quarterback Joe Webb has spent the last couple of weeks working out under the tutelage of Favre down in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Sigh.
To wit, some choice quotes from Webb, courtesy of an article on Webb’s almat mater’s, the University of Alabama-Birmingham, athletics website (via RandBall):
“It’s been very intense,” Webb said of the continuing NFL lockout. “All we can do is try to stay in shape.”
“It’s great to have a person like that as my contact,” Webb said. “He can still sling it.”
Of course he can. He’s the Gunslinger. I wonder if Favre was having any fun out there. I guess we’ll just have to wait for Rachel Nichols’ report. Sigh again.
Former Blazer Webb Staying Busy This Summer Despite NFL Lockout [Official Athletic Site of the UAB Blazers (via RandBall)]
Goodness gracious, unless you want to read about the mistrial in the Roger Clemens case, there ain’t jack squat going on right now.
So, with that in mind, enjoy this first person video of the world’s steepest roller coaster. It is the Takabisha, located in Japan’s Fuji-Q Hihland amusement park and there ain’t no way in hell I’d ever get on that thing. Mainly because I’m a pansy about heights, but at least I am man enough to admit it. Although, conceding that you’re a wuss is hardly manly. Huh.
Anyhoo, it reportedly reaches speeds of 100 km/h, has a 43m drop and a 121-degree freefall. Yeesh, that sounds terrifying, and I don’t even know how fast 100 km/h is or how much of a drop is involved in a freefall of 43 meters. Damn non-Americans. Feet and miles/hour, fools!
[via BuzzFeed]
It was done with great sadness when I had to break the disappointing news last year in June that the Go-Go’s had to cancel their postgame concert at Tropicana Field due to guitarist Jane Weidlin’s knee injury. But happier days are ahead for Tampa Bay Rays fans as the gals will in fact be performing a set after the Rays take on the Oakland Athletics on August 5th.
Even better? The following day, Rays fans will be treated to a postgame concert by the Goo Goo Dolls. Sweet. And someone in the Rays marketing department had the brilliant idea to refer to the slate of show that August weekend as “Go-Go, Goo-Goo Weekend.” Nicely executed.
So there you go. No, really, that’s all I got. Talk about a slow news day.
Note: for a heaping helping of cheesy references to Go-Go’s/Belinda Carlisle songs, please refer to the link above. I just don’t have it in me to bust out the same tired jokes again. Sorry.
Go-Go’s concert set for Trop after Rays game Aug. 5 [Tampa Bay Online]
In the grand scheme of things, the frivolous purchases by the spouses of millionaire athletes isn’t really something that should cause a stir, or even necessitate a mention, but when I read over at my pal Rick Chandler’s brilliant Off the Bench blog that Victoria Beckham recently bought an ICandy Peach Stroller for the David and Victoria’s brand new baby, Harper Seven, for the whopping price of $900, I had to look into the hardly newsworthy story a bit more than perhaps is warranted.
Okay, so here’s the nitty gritty (via msnbc):
Victoria preordered an iCandy Peach stroller in time for it to be delivered to the house before she was born early Sunday morning.
But get this…
While the stroller comes in three colors (sweet pea, black jack and tomato), I’m told that Victoria made sure hers was a one-of-a-kind by having iCandy create a custom Peach in the same shade of lilac that her mom used to decorate her U.K. baby shower.
Alright. Fair enough. It’s not like the Beckhams are hurting for money, right? Sure, it could be argued that perhaps spending a more reasonable amount on a stroller and donating the remaining funds to charity or something might be a more admirable act, for nine hundred bucks, it has to be a pretty pimped out stroller, correct? Let’s have a look-see at the bells and whistles that comes with this iCandy Peach Stroller, shall we?
It appears that Miss Elin Nordegen, who will forever be known as the innocent woman who was egregiously wronged, shamed and humiliated by Tiger Woods, is ready to finally put the ugly past behind her and move on to the next stage of her life as she was spotted and photographed in a warm embrace with an unidentified man outside her $3 million apartment in Stockholm, Sweden on Tuesday. Word on the street that the unnamed fellow is a 35-year-old American financial analyst.
From an expressen.se report (via FOX Sports):
Efter den skandalomsusade skilsmässan från Tiger Woods har Elin Nordegren undvikit rampljuset. Hon påstås ha dejtat men en mer stadig man är inte känd.
I dag kan Expressen visa att det finns en ny man i hennes liv.
En person nära Elins bekantskapkrets säger:
- Han är finansanalytiker. Även hans pappa jobbar inom bankvärlden.
En annan person säger:
- Han är runt 35 år, en snygg kille.
Paret ska ligga väldigt lågt utåt med förhållandet.
Den nye mannen är en amerikan, bosatt i huvudsak i New York, men han vistas ofta i Sverige. Expressens källa har ännu inte hört hans namn.
Paret har vistats i Stockholm de senaste dagarna. I måndags sågs de utanför det hus på Östermalm där Elin Nordegren har en paradvåning som hon och dåvarande maken Tiger Woods köpte 2005.
What does it all mean, you ask? Hell if I know. I don’t speak Swedish. But if you imagine the Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show reading the above copy, it’s pretty amusing.
With that aside, what a rough week for Tiger. Elin’s moving on, he’s still dealing with leg injuries which prevented him from competing in the British Open and an unauthorized biographical comic book about him was released. Just wait until he finds out Netflix altered their subscription plans and raised their rates. That’s gonna hurt.
Elin Nordegren med ny hemlig kille i Stockholm [expressen.se (via FOX Sports)]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Wow. Just wow. Now that’s a headline. From the report: “An exotic-animal owner who made headlines last summer when one of his bears mauled a woman to death has died after apparently choking on a sex toy, authorities said…Sam Mazzola, 49, was found dead in his Columbia Station home on Sunday, face down on a water bed. He was bound to the bed with handcuffs, chains and padlocks, Lorain County Chief Deputy Coroner Dr. Frank Miller told the Cleveland Plain Dealer…Mazzola had a sex toy in his throat, which apparently obstructed his breathing, Miller said. He was also wearing a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head, the coroner told The Morning Journal.” Once again, wow. [msnbc]
• Sweet mercy, get a look at the dress Serena wore to the ESPYs. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Video: Dustin Johnson’s hole in one in at the British Open. [Dogs That Chase Cars]
• Holy crap on a cracker! Take a look at this bunker on the 4th hole at Royal St. George’s. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Here is an absolutely bizarre acoustic performance about “Big Baby” Glen Davis. [The Basketball Jones]
• Bryce Harper got himself some new tattoos. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• PETA is not happy with KFC’s offer to Dwyane Wade to run a drive-thru. [Off the Bench]
• The fellas at YBB got “3 Good Minutes” with Michael Wilbon. [You Been Blinded]
• If you want a misspelled Troy Tulowitski jersey (with a “z”), you can find one at MLB.com. [Big League Stew]
• Cat fight! Kobe Bryant dissed Derrick Rose’s shoes! [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Tito Ortiz is planning on ruining one more UFC event, apparently. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Hoo boy: Christmas Ape takes the James Harrison story and runs with it. I mean, he really goes all out. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• More on Harrison: here’s his journal. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Disney Family Vacation Ruined By Walt Disney Company
Sorry, that nightmare fuel image required both of those exclamations. San Francisco Giants closer and Major League Baseball’s resident oddball Brian Wilson pulled out all the stops and continued his assault on normalcy with this outrageous outfit that he picked out for his stroll down the red carpet on his way into the ESPYs tonight. Jeez Louise, Mr. Blackwell is probably spinning in his grave. In joy. I just hope Erin Andrews didn’t wear the same thing. Can you imagine???
With that said, that is so wrong on so many levels. Also: it’s awesome. Well done, Mr. Wilson.
People will probably refer to it as some kind of skin tight, spandex tuxedo, but to me, he kind of looks like a penguin. A penguin who would have to go door-to-door to meet all his new neighbors upon moving in, if you know what I’m getting at.
Hoo boy. That is all.
UPDATE: Here’s another pic. Just for the hell of it:
Joe Curiale and Dolly West tied the knot at MLB’s All-Star FanFest on Tuesday in Phoenix, and if you ask me (which most people do not), I can find nothing more lovely than a baseball-themed wedding resplendent with touches such as a diamond-shaped floor and flowers in the shape of baseballs. Roses? So passé.
The couple was married at Phoenix Convention Center mere hours before the All-Star Game and despite my cynical opinion of the nuptials, for Curiale and West, it was probably everything they wanted and more. The newlyweds met during a flight attendant training session and have kept their long distance relationship running strong by scheduling their flight shifts to have layovers in the same location and have attended over 20 baseball games together while on said layovers.
There was, however, one hurdle the couple had to overcome before they could live happily ever after: Curiale is a Cleveland Indians fan and West backs the Texas Rangers. While nowhere close to the issues that might arise if a Red Sox fan and a Yankees fan tied the knot, allegiances are allegiances.
But hey, I see these two having a long and prosperous marriage. As you can see in the video, those in attendance at their wedding did The Wave, and from what I can remember, that’s a great sign of good things to come. Congratulations to the happy couple.
Rangers fan marries Indians supporter in wedding at All-Star FanFest [The Dallas Morning News]
Spooky. I believe unless some other NHL goalie really ups the ante this offseason, Columbus Blue Jackets netminder Steve Mason’s disturbingly graphic and eerie Civil War-themed mask will be easily the best goalie mask this upcoming season. The mask, designed by renowned goalie mask artist David Gunnarsson, looks like it could have been partially inspired by the artwork featuring Eddie for Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper.” The Grim Reaper makes an appearance in both and everything. And the skull on the back is clearly an homage to the movie poster for Evil Dead 2. Wicked.
You can see the other side of the mask here, but it’s not quite as cool as the chilling images contained on the left side of Mason’s mask. Well done to all who were involved in the design. Well done, indeed.
[H/T Puck Daddy]
Guys, whatever you want to try in the privacy of your own homes is your business, but to be doing so right out in the open, and in front of photographers no less? To make matters even worse, an ill-conceived attempt at synchronized self-gratification? For shame. And no matter how much you guys want to practice, my guess is it won’t be an Olympic sport anytime soon.
Plus, you better be careful with that kind of twisted, perverted stuff. Remember what happened to Randal’s cousin Walter in Clerks. Granted, cousin Walter is a fictional character, but there are valuable life lessons to be learned from his demise. No person should really need a movie to learn that lesson, but there you go.
[image via]
We all remember back in early December last year when an incredible amount of snow during a huge blizzard that rocked Minnesota caused the roof of the Huber H. Humphrey Metrodome to cave in and ultimately collapse. It was quite the spectacle, much like the Minnesota Vikings’ season last year. Well, after many months of hard work, the Dome’s roof was reinflated earlier this morning. The process began at approximately 7:13 a.m. local time and the entire process was completed by 8:30.
Time-lapse video of the inflation follows.
Just because Tiger Woods isn’t at Royal St George’s Golf Club in Sandwich this week to compete in The Open Championship does not mean he can’t generate some interesting headlines, even if had no part in the story behind said interesting headlines. Well, except for the part of being the story behind the story behind said interesting headlines.
While you try to deconstruct that last sentence, allow me to move on. Bluewater Productions, a company behind biographical comic books about Michelle Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Sarah Palin and others, has produced an UNAUTHORIZED comic about the golfer, entitled “Fame: Tiger Woods.” The issue hits the stands today.
From the release announcing the, um, release (via Pro Golf Talk):
Tiger Woods is, in most respects, the most famous golfer of all time. He may have had some recent troubles, but his life is one filled with very interesting tidbits. Come inside and see how his life lead him to be one of the most famous sports stars in the history of the United States and the world and learn about the man behind all of these news stories. Go for a hole in one with this comic detailing the life story of this major athlete.
“Fame: Tiger Woods,” will feature a cover by famed artist Tony Foti. The interior art is illustrated by Marcelo Salaza and written by CW Cooke. The issue will retail for $3.99 and be available through most online venues like Amazon.com as well as local comic book stores. To order the book online at “Barnes & Noble” click here http://bit.ly/pBgkof
Sounds pretty interesting. And as a fan of comics in my youth and given the subject matter, I might even have to pick myself up a copy and have a read, although the Tiger Woods comic isn’t much like the comics I read during those halcyon days of youth. But like most adolescent boys, I was much more into Marvel, DC Comics, etc. as opposed to educational materials. You know, super hero stuff. But on that score, Tiger Woods is similar to many comic book super heroes in one respect: he has a secret weakness, a vulnerability, an Achilles’ heal (get it?) which, despite his strength, cunning and once-perceived invulnerability, can render him powerless, unable to utilize the tremendous gifts and talents bestowed upon him.
That’s right, you guessed it. Like Superman’s Kryptonite, Tiger’s secret weakness? Skanky whores. Ouch. Way back when, who woulda thunk it, right?
TIGER WOODS NEW COMIC BOOK BIOGRAPHY IN STORES JULY 13TH [Bluewater Productions (via Pro Golf Talk)]
If you’re anything like me, you were absolutely devastated when an invitation to the nuptials of Tony Romo and Candice Crawford did not arrive in your mailbox. I still get all tore up about it. Luckily, for the dregs of society like us who were not lucky enough to attend, a camera crew was on hand to capture the beautiful moments when the groom and blushing bride began their lives together. Quite moving.
As you can see, it was quite the romantical event. You know, except for the presence of multiple cameramen, several boom operators, the director and producer scrambling about while capturing the wedding from multiple angles. Oh, and we can’t forget about the key grip guy, whatever he does.
Killer soundtrack, too. The music really ties the entire magical video together. And it’s something the happy couple can watch and treasure for years and years. Or sell online to rubes for $29.95 plus shipping and handling. Because my guess is the production of this video alone cost more than most couple’s entire wedding as well as their honeymoon.
One last thought: Romo absolutely killed it when he recited his vows. And from what I can tell, he didn’t even need any help and have to refer to those things QBs wear on their forearms with all the plays on them to remember his lines. A masterful, virtuoso performance.
UPDATE: According to several posts from across the interwebs that have been published since this one went up, the music in the video is Coldplay. You have no idea how pleased I am with the fact that I did not know that.
[via ESPN Dallas]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• The proprietors of McDain’s Restaurant in Monroeville, Pennsylvania have had all they can stands and they can’t stands no more, as far as screaming babies and ill-mannered toddlers are concerned. Beginning this Saturday, no child under the age of six will be allowed to eat at the restaurant. Owner Mike Vuick says a combination of poorly-behaved children and parents unwilling to ensure good behavior while dining are at the crux of the decision. This might be the best idea ever. And I have kids. But it is true: too many parents just let their kids run wild while at a restaurant, allowing behavior (I hope) they would never tolerate in their own home and at their own dinner table. The money quote from Vuick: “You know, their child — maybe as it should be — is the center of their universe,” he told WTAE. “But they don’t realize it’s not the center of the universe.” Amen, brother. [msnbc]
• Justin Timberlake won the All-Star Game broadcast. [Big League Stew]
• Brian Wilson’s All-Star Game shoes are wicked cool. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Cristiano Ronaldo’s new car is worth more than your house. [Busted Coverage]
• That Yankees fan who did the right thing and gave back Jeter’s 3,000th hit ball for free? Yeah, he probably owes the IRS money for the tickets he received from the team. [Off the Bench]
• Speaking of which: “Behind Every Man: A Retrospective Of Derek Jeter’s 3,000 Hits, Women” [With Leather]
• Check out this video of a mascot scaring the bejeezus out of people. [Unathletic]
• Paul Pierce has been eliminated from the World Series of Poker. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Six realistic features that should be in the NCAA Football 12 game. [Sports Pickle]
• This could very well be the greatest picture of Jose Canseco ever. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: [video] Millions Irrationally Feared Dead In Minor Train Accident
While I feel bad for the little critter to a certain point, it did kind of have it coming. After all, it was making the egregious, gastronomical mistake of eating out of a Chef Boyardee can. That’s risky business, even for a scavenging animal.
Still, props go out to the brave person who removed the can. Those raccoons can be vicious little suckers.
[H/T BuzzFeed]
