Archive for June, 2011
BALL MINE! Egad! That’s a whole lot of woman right there, folks. She is Courtney Paris of the WNBA’s Atlanta Dream and the woman being manhandled by her is Porsha Phillips of the San Antonio Silver Stars. Intense. WNBA Awkward Dancing Guy gives Paris’ aggressive play four out of five inappropriate pelvic thrusts.
[image via]
Lookin’ good, Dustin Johnson. Lookin’ good.
Apparently, this stylistic photo was snapped at a Bavarian-themed party thrown by organizers of the BMW International Open. Beer was drunk out of steins, lederhosen were worn and a grand time was had by one and all. Good stuff.
[H/T Pro Golf Talk]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Twenty-six-year-old Methuen, Massachusetts resident Maritza Alvarado was arrested last Thursday and charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon after she allegedly beaned her boyfriend with a baseball during a heated argument. The victim, who is not named and refused to speak to police about the incident, had a fresh bruise on his forehead when police arrived on the scene. [azcentral]
• Dirk Nowitzki said he went on a three-week bender after losing in the 2006 NBA Finals. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Lucky: Dick Vitale hosted the Miss Hooters International 2011 pageant this weekend. [Busted Coverage]
• Here’s a photo of guy who shaved a Joe Mauer jersey into his back hair. [Big League Stew]
• Ha ha: Keith Olbermann has been dumped as the announcer of the Yankees Old Timers game. [Bob's Blitz]
• An interesting hypothetical proposition for Cleveland Cavaliers fans. [Midwest Sports Fans]
• The Minnesota Timberwolves: the most inept franchise in pro sports. [Rumors & Rants]
• PUNTE presents the Greatest Atrocity in the History of Sport. [With Leather]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Yalie Strikes Harvard Lad Sharply About The Face And Neck
A few weeks ago, on June 11th, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, the Triple-A affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies held Social Media Night at the ballpark and they wore the above jerseys. Sigh.
Some of the highlights of the magical evening (via the Lehigh Valley Chamber of Commerce):
- The opportunity for every fan in attendance to “Run the Bases” immediately following the game should the IronPigs reach a certain number (12,000 Fans on Facebook and 4,000 Fans on Twitter) of followers by the end of the game.
- IronPigs “Facebook Style” Headshots on Video Board (that not only looked festive, but also included the players game day stats & information)
- Select tweets mentioning the #ironpigs will be featured throughout the game a one-of-a-kind “live tweets” scroll bar on Coca-Cola Park’s expansive video board.
- Contestants for Coca-Cola Park’s on-field contests will be chosen by “tweeting” their seat location.
- The first-ever 7th-inning Tweet! The IronPigs prompted fans to tweet #PIGOUT right before the 7th inning stretch, in an attempt to make #PIGOUT a trending topic
- Fans Tweet the answer of the Video Board Shuffle and the first to answer correctly tweets their seat to be given a prize
Okay, okay, all cynicism aside, that sounds like a pretty cool night at a minor league baseball game. But the jerseys are a bit silly, wouldn’t you agree? Sure, not as silly as the gimmick by the minor league hockey team, the Saskatoon Blades, who wore pseudo Canadian Tuxedo sweaters for a game last year, but still.
Finally, I hate to mention it, but is it possible that after the team sported these jerseys, just a few weeks later, the Phillie Phanatic was almost seriously injured after getting struck by a foul ball during one of their games? That’s a weird coincidence right there. Perhaps too weird.
[H/T SB Nation]
ESPN has released several clever little spots featuring such sports luminaries paired up as Lindsey Vonn and Carmelo Anthony, Clay Matthews and Kevin Love, John Wall and B.J. Raji and finally, the “Prom Queen,” Serena Williams for a promotional campaign to drum up interest in the upcoming 2011 ESPY Awards, set to air on July 13th which will be once again hosted by SNL‘s Seth Meyers. Whee!
The gimmick is that the ESPYs are just like prom, only for, you know, grown up athletes. While the angle is a bit of a reach, they did result in some amusing commercials.
The press release pimping the spots (via ESPN Media Zone):
ESPN today launches the campaign for the 2011 ESPYs, which will again be hosted by Saturday Night Live’s head writer and “Weekend Update” anchor Seth Meyers. The campaign likens the ESPYs to prom night for the Sports World, with Meyers as the chaperone. And just as the ESPYs bring together key sports figures, so does this very special prom, with attendees like Carmelo Anthony, Lindsey Vonn, BJ Raji, John Wall, Clay Matthews and Kevin Love. One spot in the series showcases the vocal stylings of Prom Queen Serena Williams as she serenades her fellow prom-goers. Wong, Doody, Crandall, Wiener was the creative agency for the campaign, which includes on air, digital, radio and social media executions.
A sampling of the spots follow.
So, the Tampa Bay Rays wanted to pay homage to the rich heritage of organized baseball in their region by wearing the jerseys of the 1951 Tampa Smokers, a minor league team which played in the fair city many moons ago, for a July 2nd game. There was only one problem: the jersey featured a cigar emblazoned on the front of it. In a typical, knee-jerk, gutless reaction motivated by political correctness, the Rays made the decision to remove the cigar from the jersey to prevent the 4,000 Rays fans likely to be in attendance the psychological trauma and possible suggestive nature of seeing an image of a nondescript tobacco product. Won’t somebody think of the children?
Thankfully, the Rays did think of the children, and here’s their reasoning, from a statement issued by the team (from The Tampa Tribune, via Big League Stew):
“We have chosen to wear the Smokers jersey to celebrate the rich heritage and traditions surrounding baseball in Tampa Bay and this version of the logo is intended only to be a slightly more contemporary version of that wonderful history.”
Jesus. Is this really where we are as a society? That the P.C. Police have imposed such a paralyzing environment where the fear of reprisal from some loudmouthed, self-righteous group who claims to know how everybody else should live their lives precipitates a situation where an image of a damn cigar needs to be eradicated from a jersey to make it safe for public viewing? It’s bad enough that in movie ratings, “smoking” is considered an issue necessitating a warning. It’s a damn cigar, for crying out loud – not a blunt.
Further, why even bother honoring the team if this is how the Rays insist on going about it? Why didn’t they instead go all out with their revisionist history and insist the team was actually called the Tampa Gum Chewers or something? Actually, the American Dental Association would probably have a problem with that idea. Better yet, what the Rays should have done is kept the cigar on the jersey but then put some of those new tobacco warning labels all over the front of the jersey. I believe that would incorporate what is now referred to as a “teachable moment.”
A big old gutless fail on this one, Tampa Bay Rays.
Note: the phrase “Have a Cigar” is, of course, a reference to the classic Pink Floyd tune of the same name. Just doing my part to enlighten all of you young whippersnappers out there to some good music.
Rays eliminate cigar from Tampa Smokers throwback jersey [The Tampa Tribune (via Big League Stew)]
Ewwwwww….gross!
Adorably pictured above are Brandon Matchett (right), 12, and Bailey Narr, 11, who were named the King and Queen, respectively, of the 88th Annual National Marbles Tournament in Wildwood, New Jersey, and as you can see, it appears that Bailey is still at that young age where she believes that all boys are icky. But perhaps the most interesting bit of information gleaned from this photo and the associated story is that kids still play with marbles. Who woulda thunk it? I mean, sure, if there were such a thing as a Wii Marbles game or something of that ilk, the tykes would be all over it, but to actually hunker down on the ground and shoot marbles? Mind blowing.
Anyhoo, congratulations to Brandon and Bailey. And Bailey, you best get those Cooties checked out.
[image via]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Due to a hospital mix-up where a man was buried with the person’s dentures with whom he shared a hospital room, the body of 76-year-old Kenneth Ray Manis will be exhumed to retrieve said dentures. The hospital will pay for the costs of reburial and attorney’s fees due to the fact that the family of the still-living denture wearer insisted the dental appliance be retrieved. Seems to me to be a lot of work for some dentures, but then again, I still have all my teeth. [msnbc]
• If you wanted to be the first person to get a tattoo of Dirk Nowitzki on your ass, too late: this guy already beat you to it. [Busted Coverage]
• Holy Wimbledon Snot Rocket, Batman! [Off the Bench]
• Jan Veseley gets drafted by the Washington Wizards, promptly lays a big smooch on his girlfriend. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Ron Artest is trying to change his name to “Metta World Peace.” [Larry Brown Sports]
• Thoughts on the sudden resignation of Nationals manager Jim Riggleman. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• Dallas Mavericks fandom has officially hit the big time, yo. [The Basketball Jones]
• The Tiki Barber Goodwill Tour soldiers on. [Deuce of Davenport]
• For the ladies…top 10 reasons why baseball is better than men. [Babes Love Baseball]
• In today’s edition of the Dugout: Meet the Daigles. [With Leather]
• Get learnin’: the new KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag is out. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Good stuff: Jimmer’s Draft Confessional. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Prick Veterinarian Keeps Dachshund Waiting In Empty Lobby For 45 Minutes
A hearty congratulations goes out to Tampa Bay Lightning star Steven Stamkos for realizing an achievement few professional athletes dare to dream about: landing on the cover of one of EA Sports legendary sports video game franchises.
Via the Toronto Star:
“You look at the players who have been on (the game box) in the past and what they’ve done in their career ‹ it’s just a tremendous honour,” Stamkos told QMI Agency. “I grew up playing this game, so to see myself on the cover, it’s almost surreal.”
While this is all hunky dory and a great story right now, there could be a problem with the image gracing the cover of NHL 12 down the road: Stamkos will become a restricted free agent on July 1st, so there’s a chance – however minute – that the talented, dynamic, 21-year-old center might not even be playing for the Lightning when the game comes out in September. That wouldn’t be good. But then again, I’m sure EA Sports has someone in their graphics department that could do a little Photoshoppery on the cover. If not, I’m always here with MS Paint. Lemme know.
Stamkos scores EA Sports’ NHL cover [Toronto Star]
I dunno, man, his eyes look pretty red to me in this photo
No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes – The Who, “Behind Blue Eyes”
He’s gotta be kidding, right? Foolishly trying to figure out a reason why he is batting a horrific .122 during day games and .374 when he plays in the evening, Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton actually came out and stated that he believes the struggles he has hitting during the day are due to his blue eyes. What the fungus? Major League Baseball should commission a study on this issue toot sweet, I tells ya!
Via ESPN Dallas:
I ask guys all the time,” Hamilton told ESPN 103.3 FM’s Bryan Dolgin when asked if he had any theories to his drastic splits. “Guys with blue eyes, brown eyes, whatever … and guys with blue eyes have a tough time.”
During his 2010 MVP season, the blue-eyed Hamilton hit a respectable .286 during the day and .384 at night.
“It’s just hard for me to see [at the plate] in the daytime,” Hamilton said. “It’s just what it is. Try to go up [to the plate] squinting and see a white ball while the sun is shining right off the plate, you know, and beaming right up in your face.”
Amazing. No, not Hamilton’s goofy comments, but the fact that the genes for blue eyes – as well as those cursed with them throughout humanity’s evolutionary history – wouldn’t have suffered an unceremonious extinction due to their to function during daytime hours as well as their counterparts, you know, humans born with brown eyes, hazel eyes, etc.
But hey, at least his dreams aren’t as empty as his conscience seems to be, right? Also, in keeping with the song’s lyrics, if Hamilton swallows anything evil, someone should put their finger down his throat. In light of his past and everything. I wonder if his drug addiction stemmed from having blue eyes, too. Something to look into, I guess.
Josh Hamilton: Eye color hinders hitting [ESPN Dallas]
We’ve seen these kind of videos all too often on the interwebs: vids purporting to be jaw-dropping, incredible displays of athletic prowess only to find out later it was part of some viral marketing campaign. The examples are endless: Roger Federer knocking a can off a guy’s head with a serve. David Beckham kicking soccer balls into garbage cans from an incredible distance. Evan Longoria snagging a batting practice ball moments before it drills a reporter in the noggin. Tiger Woods actually playing golf (I couldn’t fine a recent video for Tiger, but I believe that one was for Nike). The list goes on and on.
Well, we have another one to add to the pantheon of pathetic parlays into phony promotional put-ons: cricketer Graeme Swan. You see, Swan is an offspinner, from what I can gather means he is the “pitcher” in cricket. So, to demonstrate his considerable skill, Swan takes a couple attempts at knocking a bottlecap off a bottle of Kingfisher beer. Lo and behold, he manages to do it! Sure, his first attempt you see the entire process, from when the ball leaves his hand right through the ball missing the bottle. But on the second try, the camera amazingly stays in a fixed shot right on the bottle, so you only see the result of Swan’s supposed throw. I wonder why they didn’t pan out a bit so we could see it? I also wonder who could benefit from such a video going viral…it couldn’t be…Kingfisher beer, could it? Nah, that doesn’t make any sense at all. What purpose would it serve to dupe a bunch of people into that?
Now, if you’ll excuse me, for some reason, I now have a real hankering for an ice cold bottle of Kingfisher. Yum.
[via The Telegraph]
The hell? Did I hit my head or get sucked through a wormhole into the Bizarro World or something? Because what I just read makes absolutely no sense: Ozzie Guillen was provided the opportunity to rip Wrigley Field – something he has been more than happy to do in the past – and instead went out of his way to say something complimentary about the decrepit ballpark.
Via the Chicago Tribune:
When asked Wednesday on “Chicago Tribune Live” whether he’s going to bring up the alleged rat problem once again and call Wrigley a dump when the White Sox come to the North Side for Round 2 of the City Series, Guillen replied: “Well, it is.”
But Guillen suddenly turned serious, and began heaping some rare praise on Wrigley.
“When I talk about Wrigley Field, I don’t talk about the Cubs fans, I don’t talk about the players, I don’t talk about the organization,” Guillen said. “I talk about the building.
“There is not a better building to play in from the national anthem to the last out — not one better than that. The people, don’t get me wrong, it’s no good to work at. But as soon as the game starts, it’s one of the best places I’ve ever managed or played at in my career.”
So. Confused. So very, very confused. Peter Gammons doesn’t know what to think. But then again, he rarely does in the first place.
Guillen offers rare praise for Wrigley Field [Chicago Tribune]
Be forewarned, Vin Diesel and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: with his NBA career now in his rear-view mirror, Shaquille O’Neal has announced via Twitter that he has turned his sights on Hollywood, declaring that it is “Movie time,” and guess what? He’s gunning after all the lameoid roles usually reserved for meatheads like you guys.
In a video posted on his TOUT account, O’Neal informs the world that he’s “going after everybody” during a meeting with his management team. Frightening stuff, indeed, as I cannot imagine anyone else bringing the same quality, nuanced acting in a tour de force performance in the role of Richard B. Riddick as one Vin Diesel. And if Shaq thinks he can just step in to The Rock’s tutu for Tooth Fairy 2: Electric Boogaloo, well, he’s got another thing coming.
[via cleveland.com]
Sad news to report from the Wondrous World of Mascots, dear readers: the Phillie Phanatic (above, performing his ‘phantastic” Lady Gaga routine), who has delighted legions of fans for years with his madcap antics, had to be taken to the hospital after he was hit by a foul ball during a rare appearance at a Lehigh Valley IronPigs game on Wednesday night. The IronPigs, the Triple-A affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, was holding one of its “World Famous Phillie Phanatic Appearance” promotions on Wednesday night at Coca-Cola Park in Allentown, Pennsylvania, when the Phanatic was wounded in the line of mascot duty. Sad.
Via philly.com:
A spokeswoman for Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest told The Morning Call that Tom Burgoyne, the man inside the Philadelphia Phillies mascot’s costume, was treated in the emergency room Wednesday night and later released.
The Phanatic was entertaining behind the first-base dugout in the top of the third inning when a foul ball from the Indianapolis Indians hit his neck , the area around Burgoyne’s head. The Phanatic acted wounded but kept clowning for a while until he later left the stadium and went to the hospital.
Video (via The700Level) follows.
Bad ass. Eight-years-old, people. Eight. And he’s pulling off a freaking 540. When I was a few years older than young Evan Doherty and a mini-thrasher myself, I was terrified at the prospect of simply dropping in on a half-pipe, let alone attempting gnarly aerials.
Good on you, Evan. And when a kid’s sick skateboarding moves catches the attention of the Godfather of Skateboarding himself, one Mr. Tony Hawk, you just know it must be pretty impressive. Keep on keeping on, dude.
[H/T Shred or Die (via @tonyhawk)]
