Archive for May, 2011
I have made it a practice of regularly checking out the Dallas Mavericks photo galleries on The Dallas Morning News’ website ever since I discovered this bad boy on one earlier during the NBA playoffs. You could say that I might have gone to the well one too many times with the above photo, as I really have nothing much to add nor is there much that could be considered newsworthy about it. I just thought she was pretty and that she should be rewarded, not only for her prettiness, but also for her initiative relating to getting to the arena well before game time to soak up the pregame atmosphere.
Yep. You’re absolutely correct. I got nothing this morning.
According to the photo’s caption, her name is Erin Houdersheldt, she’s from Plano and she showed up incredibly early for the Oklahoma City Thunder-Dallas Mavericks matchup at the American Airlines Center for Game 1 on the Western Conference Finals with her boyfriend, as evidenced by the fact that there is nary a soul around her and her beau.
I guess all that remains is to wish Erin the best of luck as she continues to support her Mavs. And good job showing up über-early for the game. I bet they beat the traffic coming into town. Which is always nice.
[image via]
Yeah, I could see it. No, reducing the image of female Japanese boxer Tsunami Tenkai landing a left jab on Thai opponent Petohsairung Looksaikondim during a recent bout to an album cover for Spinal Tap isn’t sexist. And as a response, allow me to quote Nigel Tufnel, who once said, “What’s wrong with being sexy?” Not that the above image is sexy. I mean there’s no…
-IST!
-IST!
Anyhoo, just remember, as far as album cover images are concrerned, money talks and bulls**t walks. Same probably goes in female boxing, too, I suppose.
[image via]
Holy moly! Look at the size of that guy! And he’s playing quarterback, for crying out loud. Granted, Jared Lorenzen never was a prototypical quarterback, even back when he made his mark as the signal caller for the University of Kentucky Wildcats, as well as the few nondescript seasons he spent with the New York Giants after going undrafted in the 2004 NFL draft.
But now, Lorenzen is back in football, large and in charge. Originally hired to be the general manager for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters, a first year team in the regional Ultimate Indoor Football League, Lorenzen got the itch to play football competitively again and now, according to an article on Cincinnati.com (via BuzzFeed), “leads the UIFL in passing yards (256.6 yards per game) and efficiency (107.1 rating), and he is second with 69 touchdown passes.” Oh, and the team roster page on the River Monsters’ website has his weight at 290 pounds. Yeah, right. Maybe on the moon.
Either way, it’s pretty awesome that Lorenzen is enjoying his post-big time professional football career. And he obviously isn’t doing it for the money. On average, players in the UIFL take home $200/week, with some quarterbacks bringing in closer to $500. But Lorenzen? Playing in front of smaller crowds – although averaging 1,600 fans per game is pretty impressive for an upstart “minor league” football organization, he’s loving it:
“We’re still doing things the right way,” said Lorenzen. “… I think the fans are getting behind us. It’s just a joy. The stuff we do, like the autograph signings after games, you’ve got the fans here and we’re here to make it entertaining for them. Indoor football is entertainment and a football game just happens to break out. That’s how I look at it.
Right on, Jared Lorenzen. May you continue to feast upon opposing defenses’ secondaries in the UIFL like I bet you can do when bellying up to an all-you-can-eat dinner buffet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
With Lorenzen, River Monsters aim to become N.Ky.’s team [Cincinnati.com (via BuzzFeed)]
Tweet it down, big man. TWEET IT DOWN!
I’m not one for being the best at interpreting subtlety, but my guess is Bill Walton, in his own far out way, was quite impressed with Dirk Nowitzki’s epic performance (48 points, 12-15 from the field and a perfect 24-24 from the charity stripe) last night in the Dallas Mavericks’ 121-112 victory over the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals.
Keep on truckin’, Bill Walton. It sure is nice having you around on Twitter.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Oh, did I mention she was drunk? Of course she was. Amy Ficke, 43, of Fairfield, Connecticut has been charged with creating a public disturbance and driving under the influence stemming from an incident where she allegedly, while completely schnockered, got out of her car, undressed and proceeded to urinate – right in front of a bunch of children at a middle school that was holding a car wash fundraiser. When you gotta go, I guess you gotta go. [azcentral]
• Sugar Ray Leonard claims in a new book that he was sexually abused by an Olympic coach. [Off the Bench]
• Check out this wicked wiffleball curveball demonstration. [Outside the Boxscore]
• A snuggie protected a Red Sox fan from a foul ball. What can’t those ridiculous things do? [Bob's Blitz]
• Charles Barkley thinks the Miami Heat are a whiny bunch. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Jorge Posada is sensitive. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Killer nipple ring, Kegasus! If you don’t know who Kegasus is, get with the program. [Busted Coverage]
• Agreed, what the hell is up with that “Crying Baby” masked Mets fan? [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The NBA’s Conference finalists and their office equivalents. [Sports Pickle]
• Forget about Ochocinco, here are the top 10 sexiest girls riding mechanical bulls. [Ted Williams Head]
• Five athletes who wouldn’t be remembered if it hadn’t been for that one play… [Unathletic]
• The family that locks out together stays together. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Desperate PBS Premieres Nova: Boobs A-Bouncin’
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
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• Rugby is a violent game. Who knew? [With Leather]
• The top 10 whines about embellishment/diving during the NHL season. [Puck Daddy]
• Coveted prep basketball player P.J. Hairston chose UNC over Duke because the Dukies kept spelling his name wrong. [Off the Bench]
• Finally, an NBA impersonator akin to that Batting Stance Guy. [The Basketball Jones]
• You can now bid on Cam Newton’s game-worn pants, if you’re into that kind of thing. [Dr. Saturday]
• Ouch: yeah, this gal is probably not going to make the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad. Sigh. [Busted Coverage]
• Here’s an amusing San Francisco Giants commercial where they assist a priest in the confessional booth. [Big League Stew]
• What would be the best nickname for Tony LaRussa’s nasty eye? [PineRiders]
• Will the Packers ever retire Brett Favre’s number? Or won’t they? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Oklahoma City Thunder Wander Town Aimlessly Looking For Place To Celebrate Big Win
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
So, what, Sidney Crosby fancies himself some kind of Hollywood bigwig or something? Has the NHL become too mundane, too monotonous for the league’s Golden Boy? Yeah, probably not. Hopefully, this is some indication that Crosby’s concussion symptoms are subsiding.
Anyway, here’s a photo of Crosby and teammates Paul Martin and Jordan Staal cozying up to none other than the beautiful and talented Jamie-Lynn-Sigler. According to The Steel City Sports Fan (via Puck Daddy), these photos were taken aboard the Jetèe Albert Edouard yacht (oui oui) during the screening and afterparty for the film, Trophy Wife, which coincidentally stars Miss Lynn-Sigler.
I must say, the three Pittsburgh Penguins players look quite jaunty and I’m certain they fit in quite well with the beautiful people in the Cannes crowd. Although those three looked like a couple of raggedy-dressed clowns compared to the dapper duds (and glasses) of Max Talbot:
According to the precise techniques employed by the dynamic duo behind The Basketball Jones – arguably the best NBA-centric blog on the interwebs – the winner of tonight’s NBA Draft Lottery – yep, it’s this evening – will be…
The Cleveland Cavaliers. I suppose they deserve it. To be honest, Dan Gilbert should hastily shoot off a quick e-mail thanking these guys for their impeccable research. In comic sans font, of course. But anyhoo, good for the Cavs. Too bad the talent pool available in this year’s draft sucks.
And try as you might, you cannot and will not find fault with their incredibly detailed and disarmingly sophisticated scientific methods. Nothing was left to chance, unlike the stupid NBA Draft Lottery. What a scam that thing is.
Well done, gents.
[via The Basketball Jones]
Leave it to Wisconsinites. Officials and organizers of the Green Bay Marathon have been forced to apologize after it was determined that the course the racers ran on Sunday was 26.2 miles, or 800 feet too long. Oopsy-daisy.
Via Star Tribune:
“On behalf of my entire staff, we apologize for the inconvenience and the extra distance that you ran on an already windy day,” race director Sean Ryan wrote in a notice on the marathon’s website.
Ryan said the error surfaced thanks to organizers “hearing multiple comments about [runners getting] inaccurate GPS readings at this particular point on the course” on their watches or other devices.
Race officials have assured those who ran in the marathon that their times would be adjusted accordingly. But seriously, how unfair and careless, and the error is especially egregious when one considers how close in proximity Green Bay is to Milwaukee (In your face!). Ah, who am I kidding? Morbidly obese people don’t run in marathons. Everyone who ran in it must have been from out of state. I keed, I keed! Wisconsin folks are the salt of the earth, I tell ya.
Oops! Green Bay Marathon makes runners go the extra distance [Star Tribune]
Nice form, ma! It seems like at least two or three times every baseball season, we see a highlight of some guy at a baseball game snagging a home run, foul ball, what have you, with a baby not only in tow, but directly in harm’s way as he or she is cradled in the guy’s non-catching hand. But as you can see above, moms aren’t going to sit on the sidelines – or in the stands, as it were – anymore and allow all the dads to horn in on the action and bogart all the glory.
According to a commenter on Mr. Irrelevant, this photo is from a Richmond Flying Squirrels minor league baseball game on Sunday afternoon, and as you can see for yourself, her form is impeccable: arm outstretched, glove on hand, protective helmet-like thingy on baby. Safety first, right?
Well done, unknown mother. Well done.
Foul Ball Mom Is Foul Ball Awesome [Mr. Irrelevant]
In light of the upcoming release on May 24th of the controversial book, Those Guys Have All the Fun: Inside the World of ESPN, a behind-the-curtain look – warts and all – at the apparent debaucherous, depraved and 0verindulgent nature which allegedly pervades the behind-the-scenes culture at the network as well as the behavior of its on-air talent; and in anticipation of the likely damning evidence to the contrary contained therein, ESPN is bringing out the big guns to preemptively shoot down any appearance that The Worldwide Leader In Sports consists of nothing but a hedonistic subculture hellbent on perverting sports broadcasting, all from their tiny little corner of the world in Bristol, Connecticut.
First up is ESPN senior vice president and general manager of ESPN.com, John Skipper (above, demonstrating Gloria Allred’s baseball bat-anal sex demonstration from a few weeks ago, only with a vuvuzela), who attempted to put the kibosh on any validity to the tawdry nature of the stories which are sure to be included in the upcoming book during an upfront meeting with advertisers on Tuesday.
Via Game On!:
“We do not condone that kind of activity. In fact, we’ve taken lots and lots of steps to create policies. We’re fairly stringent when people do things. We suspend people. We fire people,” Skipper said. “It is clear to everybody who works for us we are not going to tolerate it. It’s just human nature, human behavior . . . We have a culture of hard work and achievement and serving fans. We have a lot of employees. A few of them, every now and then, do something stupid.”
Methinks Mr. Skipper is missing the point: just because the ESPN does not condone bad behavior doesn’t necessarily mean the so-called “frat boy culture” not only exists, but is also a pervasive component of what goes on at ESPN. They can be as stringent as they want, that will not stop frat boys from acting like frat boys. Unless they plan on firing everyone. Try as they might over at ESPN, the fallout from the sordid stories revealed in the book is not going to go away quietly.
ESPN’s John Skipper: ‘We do not have a frat-boy culture’ [Game On!]
At least that’s appears to be the libation of choice for Rory McIlroy with his own Personal Disappointment Hell as he attempts to move on after his colossal Sunday meltdown at The Masters. The above photo, evidently uploaded to Twitter by McIlroy himself, although it has since been taken down for some unknown reason – perhaps he has an endorsement deal with some other herbal liqueur – Becherovka, perhaps? After all he is 22-years-old, of legal drinking age, and I expect the sight of a young Irish lad imbibing on some of the creature shouldn’t rankle too many feathers, but I digress. Few things are more comforting than taking a bottle of Jägermeister in your hand and polishing it off, sans glass. That is as long as you have another bottle as a backup. Duh.
I only wonder how Rory’s girlfriend, Holly Sweeney, feels about her beau’s dalliances with the bottle. That’s one woman I would not want to upset. Because she’s super attractive and stuff.
Also: Dave Attell approves of Rory’s taste in German liqueurs. But that goes without saying really.
[H/T The Big Lead]
Harmon Killebrew Has Passed Away
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Sad, sad news. After a lengthy, difficult battle with esophageal cancer, Harmon Killebrew, MLB Hall of Famer and a man beloved by not only Minnesota Twins fans but was treasured as an icon of the glory days of Major League Baseball as well, has sadly passed away. Killebrew died earlier today at his home in Scottsdale, Arizona. He was 74.
Rest in Peace, Killer. You will be missed. But never forgotten.
Twins great Harmon Killebrew dies [Star Tribune]
Bad Idea Fete
Good to know that the lockout isn’t affecting NFL Millionaires’ ability to hold their annual swanky soiree. Attention all NFL players, solidarity now! And if said solidarity just so happens to be involve a lavish, overdone ball, so be it. Question: but why is Rashard Lewis of the Washington Wizards included as a host? Did he achieve some kind of NFL Millionaire PHENOM exemption status. That’s weird.
Be that as it may, here’s the lowdown on the high society shindig:
You are invited to Walk the Red Carpet with NFL Elite for the Annual NFL “PHENOM” Millionaires Ball Celebration at the upscale venue Grooves of Houston. This event will be the epicenter of all that is beautiful with live entertainment, heart stopping beats, celebrity host, free flowing libations and elements that will dazzle, impress and delight all your senses.
Epicenter of all that is beautiful? Free flowing libations? Elements that will dazzle, impress and delight all my senses? Who is this co-called “celebrity host”? Caligula?
As you can see, the Annual “Phenom” Millionaires Ball will BY FAR be the special event of the year. In case you didn’t catch it, the “Phenom” stands from “phenomenal.” I think. But if you plan on attending, be sure to read the fine print: the attire expected is to be “sexy, mature and sophisticated,” which I interpret as not wearing your authentic NFL jersey with a pair of Zubaz. Or maybe it is. How am I supposed to know? I am none of those things. I guess by stipulating that only a certain level of attire is expected (no baseball caps, no shorts, no t-shirts, no service) is an effective way for the NFL Millionaire Phenoms to weed out the riffraff.
If I could only figure out what “sexy, mature and sophisticated” means, I would so be attending this party. I mean, look at the hosts – it’s a veritable who’s who of NFL Millionaires! And there is a full kitchen open all freaking night! And not one, but two “ultra” VIP sections, so those who get into the “regular, run of the mill” VIP section will still have to gaze across the club in disgust and jealously at the ultra VIPs.
But boy oh boy, talk about a chic, glamorous gala. Not to mention pretentious and ostentatious. There truly is nothing like a hypocritical and narcissistic display of gratuitous excess during these trying economic times. Throw in the troubling lockout keeping NFL players from their jobs and we have a perfect storm of publicity which will undoubtedly help sway public opinion away from the owners and over to their side of the argument concerning all issues NFL lockout-related. Well played, NFL Millionaire PHENOMS. Well played.
[via]
Hey, Aspiring Matador Guy Getting Gored By A Bull: you’re doing it wrong!
Above is a grisly image of one Jimenez Fortes. As you can see, he is on the losing end – literally – in what is still erroneously referred to as a bullfight. What makes this photo especially poignant is that Fortes is a novillero. A novillero is the term used to describe a novice matador who is only allowed to “fight” bulls less than four years of age, because, apparently younger bulls aren’t as smart as older bulls as it pertains to their skill level concerning maiming a matador prior to having spears – or varas – plunged into them by a picador.
Sadly, for Fortes, even though the odds were heavily in his favor, he failed, bringing to light the indisputable fact that he might not be cut out for a career as a matador. Perhaps a desk job at the World Matador Headquarters might be more up his alley. The only thing being gored there is an aspiring matador’s pride, manhood and self respect courtesy of pervasive sense of shame and failure. Better than a bull’s horn, I reckon.
[image via]
