Archive for May, 2011
Preach on, Ozzie. Preach on. Couldn’t have tweeted it better myself even if I tried.
Yowsers: ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage Is Dead
Posted by:
TMZ has learned that “Macho Man” Randy Savage tragically passed away earlier this morning in an car accident. Details are sketchy at this early stage, but according to Savage’s brother, Lanny Poffo, he suffered a heart attack at approximately 10:00 this morning before losing control of his vehicle and getting in an accident. He was 58.
Savage was one of the most colorful personalities ever to don the tights in professional wrestling’s long and storied history. He was 58.
Rest in peace, Randy Savage. Hopefully, you’re with Miss Elizabeth in heaven now.
Macho Man Randy Savage Dies In Car Accident [TMZ]
One would think that moments before the biggest games of his life, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers would have been too nervous, too preoccupied, too something to pay attention enough to notice the errors committed during Christina Aguilera’s performance of the National Anthem prior to kickoff of Super Bowl XLV. But he did. And that just shows how it’s difficult to sneak anything by Rodgers, whether it be a blindside zone blitz on the gridiron or a wretched performance of “The Star-Spangled Banner” worthy of the show Don’t Forget the Lyrics featuring that Sugar Ray dude.
Rodgers was making an appearance on 540 ESPN Milwaukee with the D-List when he relayed the tale – in quite a bit of detail – of how he and a couple of other players couldn’t believe what they were hearing as they anxiously counted the moments before the Super Bowl.
During the pregame of Super Bowl XLV did you notice that Christina Aguilera messed up the U.S. National Anthem?
“No doubt about it. No doubt about it. First of all the chick from ‘Glee’ killed the first song. She should have sang the anthem too. I knew because it was the Super Bowl…I don’t like standing in the front row because I don’t like being or having that camera right in front of my face. I know I’m on the bazillion foot jumbotron, so I’m going to stand behind some people who maybe aren’t the most TV recognizable names and see if I can blend in. So I kind of went and hid in the back. I don’t know who I was standing next to, but she [Christina Aguilera] starts singing it and in most of the stadiums they have the words up on the board, kind of up-and-above the singer, so she can tell that she screwed up or he. She screwed up and I knew it and something was off. I’m looking around going does anyone else realize this? I don’t think they had because I don’t think the people were listening, but I knew something was off, so I kind of tapped…I think it was Diyral Briggs next to me and said ‘Hey did you hear that?’ He was like what? I’m like ‘She just totally screwed it up’, so I look up at the board and see where she is at and I realized she just totally messed that up. I wonder…people have got to know she just screwed that up? I feel kind of bad for her, but at the same time come on now?
So, wait. Rodgers is a Gleetard? Is that what he’s saying? Okay, that’s not what he’s saying at all when he mentions what’s-her-face killed her performance, but I’m running with it. Lucky for Rodgers that he was photographed fraternizing in Hawaii with a tramp-stamped hottie-hottie-boombalottie after the Super Bowl. That at the very least balances out an admission he liked anything even remotely related to Glee.
Aaron Rodgers on Christina Aguilera’s National Anthem Goof: “I feel kind of bad for her, but at the same time come on now?” [Sports Radio Interviews]
And no, I don’t mean “cheese” as a slang for money, I literally mean that’s a lot of cheese – Swiss, Provolone, you name it. Charlie Weis is all about it. People talk about tax shelters, Charlie’s all about cheese shelters. He builds elaborate, pungently-smelled forts out of the stuff. And then proceeds to eat himself out of it. Cheese mazes? You betcha. I guess, I guess what I’m getting at is Charlie Weis spent all the money he received from Notre Dame – $6.6 million to be exact – for what is being referred to as an “initial termination payment” was actually spent on wheel upon wheel of cheese. Tasty, fatty and when melted, gooey cheese.
And the $6.6 million? That’s just for starters. Notre Dame is going to be paying a lot more money just so they can have the pleasure of not having Charlie Weis coach the Notre Dame football team in upcoming seasons.
Via Campus Rivalry, reporting on a story in the Chicago Tribune:
According to the Tribune, the separation agreement between Notre Dame and Weis still calls for “smaller annual payments through December, 2015.”
In five seasons at Notre Dame, Weis went 35-27 including trips to BCS bowls in each of his first two seasons. But after his second season, he went just 16-21 in his last three years before being removed from the post.
Wow. Talk about a sweet deal. Does Weis have the same agent as Bobby Bonilla or something?
Notre Dame paid Charlie Weis $6.6M as initial ‘termination payment’ [Campus Rivalry]
The sideways glances from his fellow travelers of late night mass transit. The sarcastic taunts from surly street toughs. Not being able to sit down. These were all uncomfortable components of the bus ride home for Dallas Mavericks überfan Will Hudson – who won tickets to the game courtesy of his unique costume – but also had to suffer the indignity of a dejected bus ride home after the Mavs lost to the Oklahoma City Thunder by a score of 106-100 in Game 2 of the Western Conference Finals. Gone were Dirk Nowitzki’s dead-eye shooting and the rush of witnessing the Mavericks’ home court dominance throughout their run in the playoffs. Also gone? Poor Wills’ dignity. But that’s the chance you take when you make a public appearance dressed up as a basketball hoop. It’s a calculated risk, sure – had the Mavs won, Hudson probably would have been slapped on the back and congratulated for his witty getup, but after a loss, it was likely a long, cold bus ride back home. And quite awkward, I imagine. I mean, he couldn’t even sit down.
[image via]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Police in Ohio are on the lookout for a man responsible for a rash of bank robberies across the state who could be referred to as the “Mullet Bandit.” Why, you ask? Because he sports a mullet. Duh. Do I have to explain everything to you people? Reuters’ description of the suspect: “The suspect is described as a white male, in his late 30′s, about 6 feet tall, with a medium build, a scruffy appearance and dark hair cut in a mullet — a style from the 1980s that was also known as the ape drape, the neck warmer and the 10/90.” Heh. Ape Drape. That one is new to me. One other interesting nugget from the article: “According to the website Rate My Mullet.com, the popularity of the mullet in a community is ‘inversely proportional to average annual income’ in the area.” That sure is a nice way of putting it. [Yahoo!]
• Manny Pacquaio is leading an anti-condom initiative in the Philippines. [Larry Brown Sports]
• If you haven’t seen Kevin Durant’s posterization of Brendan Haywood from last night, you’re missing out. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Tony Parker thinks the Spurs’ runs at championships might be kaput. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Be the first kid on your block with your very own Kevin Durant backpack. [The Basketball Jones]
• How Tyler Seguin single-handedly saved Under Armour’s NHL Playoff campaign. [Puck Daddy]
• In Rick’s Cafe, Rick wonders if a shotgun marriage between the Preakness and pro beach volleyball could save both enterprises. [Off the Bench]
• Video: Steelers fan was “that guy” when he met Ralph Macchio. [PSAMP]
• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a totally rational thinking person. Wait, what? [PineRiders]
• An offseason favorite: the KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Ladies and germs: the Official Rapture Draft. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Mavericks: Winning Championship For Jason Kidd Not Really A Factor In Wanting NBA Title
You know, because the person is a Cincinnati Bengals fan. And that must suck.
Ah, I keed. I keed. There’s no way this car actually runs. And any sensible Cincinnati Bengals fan will be far too busy following Chad Ochocinco’s nearly continuous and useless Twitter updates to waste their time not staying glued to their computer. Also, happier times are just around the corner for this much maligned franchise, right? I can just feel it.
(begins whistling M*A*S*H theme song)
[via BuzzFeed]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Canucks 2011 Playoff Anthems: the good, the bad and the ear-bleedingly awful. [Puck Daddy]
• Hunter S. Thompson sent a scathing note to Colts owner Jim Irsay in 1997, and for that, I say, “Awesome.” [Shutdown Corner]
• Ladies and germs, the fourth installment of the NFL’s Bravest Faces. Hint: they’re cheerleaders. [With Leather]
• Boy, Playboy really unloaded on John Daly. [Devil Ball Golf]
• If you think you have it bad, try being a Pau Gasol impersonator living in Los Angeles. [The Basketball Jones]
• Benny the Bull nearly inadvertently ended the Bulls’ title hopes last night. [Foul Balls]
• The Tiffany Company will be sponsoring Maria Sharapova’s earlobes during the French Open. [Busted Coverage]
• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is just embarrassing himself now with his whining about not having a statue. [Rumors & Rants]
• These lacrosse cleats are easily the crappiest shoes ever. Hint: it’s a sight gag. Enjoy it. It’s funny. [Ted Williams Head]
• Did Daniel Tosh’s Alabama joke go too far? [Off the Bench]
• Kate Upton something something bodypaint something something. [Bob's Blitz]
• Meanwhile, in Washington… [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: High School Fu**up Now In Charge Of Checking Airport Luggage For Explosives
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
There she is, folks: Vancouver Canucks Boobs Flasher Gal, in all her profile glory. Well done, Rich Lam of Getty Images. Get this man a Pulitzer or a Peabody Award or a Grammy or crap, even a Nobel Peace Prize. Something. A paid vacation to Hawaii might be nice, too. He’s earned it.
[H/T Puck Daddy]
It was supposed to be a wonderful event. NFLPA Executive Director DeMaurice Smith was invited to deliver a graduation speech to the outgoing students at the University of Maryland. But things got ugly fast: Smith barely made it to the podium before those in the crowd began chanting in unison: “We want football.” Not to be dissuaded, Smith quickly retorted, “I want football, too.” And that’s when things went from ugly to awkward. Awkward spelled with a capital “A” made even more prominent due to the use of a sparkly fluorescent highlighter to make it more noticeable.
From Cleveland.com:
For his final bit of advice, he turned on his own recording of Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll (Part 2)” and encouraged everyone to chap while shouting the mild profanity that Maryland fans insert into the song at basketball games.
“To anybody who thinks for one minute that passion is something is that is cheap and futile, have two words for them: ‘You suck,’” Smith said. “And for anybody who would ever think that it is the wrong thing to do to care so much that you’re willing to risk everything because it is right, reserve those two words for them.”
It was an awkward moment, in part because Smith’s recording of the song wasn’t very loud. Many of the thousands who packed the Comcast Center — especially the families and friends — didn’t play along.
♫ ♫ Ba-na-na-na… HEY! Ba-na-na ♫♫
Ouch. Gary Glitter? The guy’s a known pervert. Bad Idea Song Choices, man. Thankfully, Smith reconsidered and didn’t invite Lawrence Taylor along to give a speech addressing the benefits of asking for identification from hookers.
Be that as it may, There were so many better ways for Smith to go to get his message across to the students. My suggestion would have been to first, get a bigger and louder boom box, then, instead of using “Rock and Roll (Part 2), I would have played “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel while holding the boom box over his head. I think that would have really resonated with the students, but that’s just me.
NFL players boss uses Gary Glitter song, graduation speech to push his cause [Cleveland.com]
Obviously, it was abundantly clear that the Vancouver Green Men were unable to attend last night’s tilt between the Canucks and the Sharks – otherwise we wouldn’t have bared witness to the bare witness who flashed her boobs at Ben Eager in breastacular fashion. According to The Vancouver Sun, the Green Men did tweet prior to the drop of the puck yesterday that there would be “…no game for us tonight. Tix are a little too pricey and Nashville put us in debt.”
But to their credit, they would not stand idly by while their now famous shtick of taunting opposing teams’ players in the penalty box got up-boobed and usurped by Vancouver Canucks Boobs Flasher Gal, who is clearly not overly concerned with the world’s perception of her lack of modesty. And thus the Vancouver Green Men tweeted late last night:
I know we couldn’t be there but I hope we sent a suitable replacement (or is it replacements?)
Heh. Replacements. Well played, Green Men. And do not fret: your madcap antics will always hold a special place for all hockey fans. But let’s be honest: boobs are boobs and they will always take precedence over two grown men in green spandex body suits. That’s just the way of the world, guys. Sorry.
"I've got stupid in stereo!"
Note: for Rapture Now Part I, see here
Just because CBS declined to pick up shows based upon Colin Cowherd and Michael Schlereth apparently does not mean television executives are unwilling to seek out more halfwits from the sports world in order to develop God awful television programming. The well has run dry, folks: TNT has asked The Earman himself, The Sports Reporters’ resident extraterrestrial, Mitch Albom, to write a pilot for a show.
Via an AP Report in the Pioneer Press:
The network announced plans for the untitled program this week as part of a slate of projects during its upfront presentation in New York. That’s when networks present schedules to prospective advertisers.
TNT describes the show as set in a Motor City radio station and “following a station manager who, against his wishes, returns home to try and breathe life into his struggling city.”
Albom says it’s “a Detroit story,” an hourlong comedy-drama that draws on his experiences working in radio.
A show about radio, eh? So, basically, this show will be kind of like Frasier, except (if Albom’s past work is any indication), it will be not funny, not entertaining and emotionally manipulative?
Oh man, I better be careful. There’s a pretty good chance Mitch heard me typing that…
♫ ♫ Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin’, tossed salad and scrambled eggs… ♫ ♫
Mitch Albom developing show for cable network TNT [Pioneer Press]
[image via The Sports Hernia Blog]
Sweet Jesus. Kill me now. Seriously, can the Rapture just come a day or two early? Because this is about the saddest thing I have ever seen. What follows is the brief intro from The Oklahoman about the above video, with a few additions added by yours truly:
A big crowd of lonley miserable people with apparently no life practices dance steps Wednesday after leaving their fourteen cats at home during a flash mob dance tribute to the excruciatingly annoying Ellen DeGeneres at Hafer Park in Edmond. The event’s organizers, when not writing horse-themed poetry and reading Parade Magazine, are the co-administrators of the “Let’s Make Ellen our No. 1 Thunder Girl” Facebook page, because what sense would there be to be a fan of the Oklahoma Thunder if some overrated, spastic dancing comic does not share the same opinion? These Degenerate DeGeneres Dolts have sucked the soul out of sports blogger Weed Against Speed, and extinguished any semblance of faith in humanity that still existed within him.
Yeah, I think my additions made the paragraph more interesting. And much more accurate. Now I have no choice but to pull for the Dallas Mavericks. At least that team has German DJs in their corner.
Ooh! And look! Ellen took notice! SQUEE!
Stepping up efforts to make Ellen a Thunder fan [The Oklahoman]
What the fungus? Well, that certainly would be money well-spent, huh? Obviously, Taj Gibson’s thunderous dunk in the face of Dwyane Wade during Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals has quickly become the stuff of legend. And that is further established by the fact that a Fathead depicting the momentous scene is now available. For $99.99. Seriously.
This particular Fathead product is a whopping four-feet wide by six-feet long and causes me to make these two observations:
- This is hardly a Fathead as I have come to know them. Aren’t they supposed to be more like cutouts? This is simply a poster that sticks to your wall. For that, I say, “Meh.”
- People are still purchasing Fatheads? My God, man, do people wrap themselves up in their Snuggies and look at their Fatheads on their walls while ordering a bottle of OxyClean?
Oh, one last thing: on the “Specifications” tab of the product, there is a whole section devoted to “Where Not To Stick It.” I have a few ideas, if someone ever purchased this for me, where I would like to stick it.
[via]
Tell me why? Sure, it’s possible he ain’t headed for nothin’ but a heartache, but Bubba Watson told reporters during a media day event on Tuesday in advance of next month’s Travelers Championship at TPC River Highlands in Connecticut that he could be laying the groundwork for plans to assemble a group of PGA golfers for the first ever all-golfer boy band. Yep.
Via Pro Golf Talk:
“I’ve got two words for you. Before I tell you those two words, I’m going to build it up,” Watson joked. “I should be in the media.”
Then, he gave the media just a little taste of what to expect.
“There’s going to be a group of guys, and the two words are Boy Band. I’m going to leave it at that. And it involves Ben, me and maybe a couple others. But Boy Band.”
Now this I’ll have to see. My pal Ryan Ballengee over at PGT speculates that Ben Crane, Rickie Fowler and Hunter Mahan would be excellent candidates to round out the Pro Golfer Boy Band Supergroup, and I have to agree. As a service to the cross section of readers who consider themselves not only fans of golf but boy bands as well, what follows is a potential track listing for the Back Nine Boys first album, comprised of takes on the track listing from the Backstreet Boys’ multi-platinum Millennium album, arguably their finest record. Um, so I’ve heard.
