Archive for May, 2011
Yamma hamma. Yeah, she’s pretty attractive. And she’s in Maxim, too, which is also nice.
Via Maxim:
Only a year after her debut, Strikeforce stunner Kelli Hutcherson is making the MMA brand synonymous with sexy. Born and raised in Southern California, the blonde beauty was scouted by Rockstar Energy Drink to work a fight, which just so happened to be Russian badass Fedor Emelianenko’s first loss in nearly 10 years. Organizers noticed that eyes were wandering outside the cage, and Kelli was soon crowned Miss Strikeforce 2011. Now this ring girl—whom you can catch on the next Strikeforce event, June 18 on Showtime—is ready to take center stage.
And yes, you read that right, there is a video. See it below. It’s worth your time.
Linda Creemers of the Netherlands during a first round match of the table tennis world championships in Rotterdam:
“What’s up, punk ass ping pong ball? You think you can front on me and not get some back? Don’t be bringing that trash to my side of the table! I’ll mess you up! Maybe put some wicked hybrid side-topspin on you. Then who’ll be frontin’? That’s right, me! Punk.”
[image via]
Pow! Right in the kisser! To be upfront, I – like many people – with each passing year, have realized that I have a rapidly lessening interest in the sweet science, so I won’t pretend that I know anything about what is going on in boxing regarding happenings inside the ring. I do, however, know a little bit about this Wladimir Klitschko fella:
- He has a brother who is also a boxer, Vitali;
- He has a bout coming up against some guy named David Haye; and
- He’s currently dating überhottie Hayden Panettiere (which gives me a justifiable reason – in my mind – to use this awesome photo of her once again).
And that’s pretty much the long and short of it as it pertains to Mr. Klitschko. Oh, and he could kill me in about 3 seconds.
But after watching the above video, I now know that Klitschko is also not an incredibly gifted soccer player, evidenced by the fact that he clumsily boots a soccer ball right into his PR man’s face while messing around with it. I love learning new things about interesting people.
Wladimir Klitschko kicks football into his PR man’s face [The Telegraph]
Results of a new study conducted by Adweek and Harris Poll indicate that 19% of those polled say that they will be less likely to watch NFL games when the season begins, making that portion of those questioned miserable liars who should be ashamed of themselves. Sure, they talk a big game now, but when the NFL returns – no matter the length of the lockout – they will return to watching the games and supporting their favorite teams, incapable of resisting the lure of the enchanting Siren Song that is NFL football which has repeatedly enraptured them over and over and over again.
To round out the rest of the 2,124 U.S. adults surveyed, 67% say they will not be any more or less likely to watch NFL football upon its return, 11% much less likely, 4% are more likely to watch (?) and 10% have no idea what the hell is going on.
A breakdown of the results from the poll (via The Huddle):
- The older a person is the less likely they will be to watch football when the season begins — 12% of those 18-34 years old say so, compared to about one in five of those 35-44 (19%) and 45-55 (18%), and 25% of those 55 years and older;
- Men are somewhat more likely than women to say they are less likely to watch football when it returns (22% vs. 16%);
- Americans who earn less than $35K per year are least likely to say they will be less likely to watch football when the season begins (16%) and those who earn $35K-$49.9K are most likely to say so (21%). About one in five say so among those who earn $50K-$74.9K (18%) and $75K or more (20%); and,
- There is little difference by age or gender (and very few people overall) who say they are more likely to watch football when the season begins — between just 3% and 5% of all age groups and both genders say this.
So there you have it. A lot of people being perfectly honest with a small segment of those polled lying their asses off. Nineteen percent to be exact.
The Future of Football: One in Five Americans less likely to watch when the NFL season begins [PR Newswire (via The Huddle)]
I really have nothing to add here. Granted, it’s quite a few days old, but it took some work to isolate this image from a larger photograph. Simply put, this is a photo of Hilary Swank grabbing her boyfriend’s junk during Game 3 of the Los Angeles Lakers-Dallas Mavericks game at the American Airlines Center. Yep. The guy to Hilary’s right looks like he’s pretty bummed about being left out. Just think, if Hilary went right as well as she went left, she could theoretically claim she was doing research for a role where she portrays a professional downhill skier.
[H/T D Magazine (via Off the Bench)]
Playing with them boys, indeed. Hoo boy. But before you think it was a bunch of awkward, homoerotic horseplay – hence the reference to Top Gun‘s infamous volleyball scene – there was a method to the shirtless madness of Alexander Ovechkin and company, who happen to be his teammates on Team Russia who happen to be competing in the IIHF World Championship. From Russian Machine Never Breaks (via Mr. Irrelevant):
Ahead of its quarter-final matchup Thursday with Canada, Team Russia assistant coach Igor Zakharkin ordered his players to abandon the team’s scheduled morning practice and instead play soccer at Rapid Stadium in Bratislava. Much like former Capitals head coach Ron Wilson, who would arrange team-building bowling outings when the Caps were struggling, Zakharkin is looking to take pressure off of his team.
Oh. Well in that case, play on, boys, play on. But remember, dreaming takes you nowhere, it’s not too fair. Then again, after chasing sunsets, one of life’s simple joys is playing with the boys. So there you go.
Team Russia Ditches Their Morning Skate and Plays Soccer [Russian Machine Never Breaks (via Mr. Irrelevant)]
Have you ever had one of those days? You’re going about your work day, minding your own business and suddenly, out of nowhere, a gigantic tarp plows over you, trapping you underneath and inside. And the worst part? Your coworkers don’t even notice! Well, the very thing happened to a Coors Field grounds crew member during a rain delay of the New York Mets-Colorado Rockies game.
Via USA Today:
The man tripped while helping to pull the tarp over the infield and was quickly smothered as the rest of the crew continued on. Once the tarp was flush, he crawled his way out to safety and smiled.
The crowd, which was retreating to the concourse as rain and lightning arrived in the bottom of the seventh inning, cheered as the man crawled out from under the white tarp like a mouse sneaking out from under the bed sheets.
Wow. Quite the illustrative description of how the grounds crew member made it out from inside the tarp, although I am a bit perturbed and have to question the condition of the AP writer’s apartment if the first thing that comes to his or her mind is how the incident resembled a rodent emerging out of one’s bed sheets. Huh. Maybe it’s time for a little spring cleaning. At least the guy from SNY in the video compares the guy to a cat, which is much more palatable, from a not-living-in-squalor standpoint.
In any event, tough day at the office, indeed. But I know how that goes. If I had a nickel for every time the very same thing has happened to me. But then again, getting paid workers comp from injuries sustained at a tarp factory isn’t a bad way to get by.
Grounds crew member briefly trapped under tarp [USA Today]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Yeah, this is not a good story. Josue Rivera, 28, submitted a thumb drive to a funeral director that was supposed to contain images for a memorial slide show. Unfortunately for Rivera, the idiot pervert, he accidentally got his thumb drives all mixed up and instead produced a thumb drive containing dozens of images of child pornography. He has been charged with first degree possession of child pornography and if proven guilty and subsequently convicted, will deserve everything coming to him in the slammer. [msnbc]
• A closer look at LeBron’s apology for using the “R-Word.” [The Basketball Jones]
• Jesus, enough already: Chad Ochocinco is going to try bull riding. This won’t end well (hopefully). [Deuce of Davenport]
• Wow: high school baseball player throws a no-hitter and hits four home runs two days after mother’s death. Hug your mom. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Some unruly baboons destroyed Wayne Rooney’s $125,000 Audi. [Off the Bench]
• A chip off the old block (kind of): Mark Rypien’s daughter is a Lingerie Football League quarterback. [Busted Coverage]
• Seattle Seahawks crank call Roger Goodell. [Outside the Boxscore]
• A player in an Australian Rules Football league was kicked off the field because of his mohawk. [The Slanch Report]
• Ten things to do on Sundays if there is no NFL football. [PineRiders]
• A tribute to Gus Johnson. [Unathletic]
• KSK Eksklusive: The Night Before The Bin Laden Raid. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Milton Bradley Retirement Basket. [TAUNTR]
• Kevin Bieksa of the Vancouver Canucks joins LMFAO and Lil John for “Shots” remix. [Ted Williams Head]
• Good to know: you can light a match with a football. [Bob's Blitz]
• Awesome headline: “Agoraphobic Father to Take Son to Every Ballpark in America on Wikipedia” [Sports Pickle]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation’s Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Here’s a cute video of an elderly couple celebrating a San Francisco Giants win by slow dancing in the stands. We don’t want to know what they did when they got home. [BuzzFeed]
• Here’s Javier Morales and his ankle snapping like a twig. Yowsers. [Busted Coverage]
• Nice. A Giants fan was robbed at knifepoint for a Willie Mays statuette. [Off the Bench]
• Dwight Howard is sick and tired of being sick and tired of “dumb articles.” [The Basketball Jones]
• Dennis Rodman is having his jersey retired at a New York strip club. Of course he is. [Larry Brown Sports]
• George Steinbrenner was nothing but a snitch. [Deuce of Davenport]
• If you missed Manny Pacquiao’s entrance from the other night, it was pretty cool. [Bob's Blitz]
• Translating Phi Jackson’s news conference. [TAUNTR]
• Tom Brady trolls the Kentucky Derby. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Team Owners Object to MLB’s New Run-Sharing Agreement
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Wait. What? I don’t get it. I did some very rudimentary research on the interwebs, and the best I can come up with is this kid is a fan of both former Toronto Blue Jays pitcher B.J. Ryan and former Blue Jays mascot BJ Birdie, but that cannot be it, can it? Ryan hasn’t pitched in the big leagues since 2009 and BJ Birdie hasn’t been the team’s mascot since 1999. It doesn’t add up, but then again, let’s just go with the theory that whoever made this shirt was a fan of B.J. Ryan and BJ Birdie and leave it at that, okay?
[H/T BuzzFeed]
To be perfectly blunt, I pondered the point of doing a post about this photo, then I said to myself, I said, “Meh. Why not?” So here it is: Troy Polamalu was on-hand last night to cheer on Pittsburgh Steelers teammate Hines Ward at the taping of Dancing With The Stars. Nick Jonas was there, too, because, um, he’s Nick Jonas? I can almost imagine the awkward conversation between the two:
Nick: Hey, Mr. Polamalu, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m a big fan of yours and the Steelers…at least when me and my brothers are performing in Pittsburgh.
Troy: Thanks, who are you?
Nick: I’m Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brothers. Don’t act like you don’t know me.
Troy: Oh yeah. I’ve heard of you. You are part of that no-talent trio of brothers who are nothing more than a Disney genetic experiment gone tragically wrong, right?
Nick: (sigh) The same.
Troy: Well, um, nice hair, uh, Nick.
Nick: Yeah, you too. Nice hair.
Troy: It’s the Head & Shoulders.
Nick: Yeah.
Fin.
[image via]
Mmm…crappy beer. And some pretty nice golf balls. A match made in Flavorless Heaven. Thanks to my pal Ryan over at Pro Golf Talk, I have now been made aware of the “Golfers Ultimate 6 Pack,” a product pimped by Michelob Ultra and Bridgestone for the man on-the-go who does not have time to go to liquor store before the round to properly stock his bag (buying beer in the clubhouse? What am I, rich?) and plans on only using three balls during said round.
The “Golfers Ultimate Six Pack” contains a sleeve of Bridgestone e6 balls and five slim cans of Michelob Ultra. While I give the folks at Bridgestone and Michelob credit for their creative idea, when I drink beer, I like to, you know, taste it and stuff. But on the other hand, if you think about it, a sleeve of balls and some watered-down beer go hand in hand. I mean, what goes down better after watching your ball plunge into the water hazard than a beer that tastes like the exact same liquid?
A great Father’s Day gift for dads who like beer and golf [Pro Golf Talk]
Ouch. Now, I would never wish the indignity and pain of taking a shot in the man parts on any of my worst enemies – of which I have many – taking a gander at the above photo of the response elicited from LeBron James after he was inadvertently kneed in the junk by teammate Chris Bosh during the Miami Heat’s 98-90 Game 4 victory in overtime against the Boston Celtics on Monday night, well, I cannot help but think that some karmic payback was at work here for James’ many transgressions over the past year or so.
Uncomfortable to watch video follows.
Professional athletes, God bless them, keep on amusing us with their inept travails and awkward antics on the golf course, far away from the fields where they excel or have excelled in other sports. Next up, joining the brutal Charles Barkley, is Washington Redskins linebacker Brian Orakpo, who has been captured on video swinging and whiffing on a tee shot. Said Orakpo, according to reporter Britt McHenry, who interviews Orakpo in the video below: “Man, this is harder than pass rushing.” Indeed it is, my friend. Indeed it is. But it was all part of Orakpo’s Leukemia Golf Classic. Wait. A guy who cannot golf a lick held his own charity golf tournament? That takes a lot of guts, man. Kudos to you, Mr. Orakpo.
Video of his swing and miss follows.
First off, before I continue, allow me to let you know I punched myself in the face for daring to invoke and reference the terribleness of that blasted Barenaked Ladies song. It’s the worst, Jerry, the worst, along with all the other drivel forced upon the masses by that awful Canadian band, yet I could not resist the lure of the easy reference. I’m sorry, alright? Okay, there. Moving on…
They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Who says that, you ask? I dunno, people who are prone to being imitated a lot, I suppose. Anyway, there are some San Francisco Giants fans who ascribe to that philosophy and because of that, they are growing out their own beards in honor of Brian Wilson, the Giants’ so-cool-he-totally-knows-it-and-will-tell-you-if-you-somehow-missed-the-boat-on-it closer, Brian Wilson.
Below is a gallery of these beard-growing souls, but that’s all you get for now, because according to information provided on the San Francisco Chronicle’s website, the article profiling the wannabeardees is only available in print today and will not be published online until Thursday at midnight, although if you cannot wait that long, you can purchase an online edition of Tuesday’s Chronicle. Yeah, I know. Kind of weird, having to pay for something, right? In any event, enjoy, and if there are some interesting tidbits regarding these guys once I am able to READ IT FOR FREE I will gladly pass that along. Damn Capitalists.
S.F. Giants fans growing beards like Brian Wilson [San Francisco Chronicle]
