Archive for April, 2011
Like most people who appreciate intelligently nonsensical comedy delivered by an irreverently reverential – underrated yet worshiped – comedic genius (does that even make any sense?), I was eagerly anticipating the premiere of Sports Show with Norm MacDonald last night on Comedy Central. Now, I’m no highfalutin television critic, but if a person were to ask my opinion of the first show, I’d have to say, “Thanks for asking. You see, I’m no highfalutin television critic so it’s flattering that you would ask my opinion about the premiere of a new show.”
After that, I’d probably say something like, “It was pretty awesome.” And the best part would be that I wouldn’t be lying, which is something I usually do when people ask my opinion on something. I don’t need people knowing all about what I think about stuff, thank you very much. To be frank, while it was a little rough around the edges – hardly surprising for a debut episode – I found it quite entertaining and given that Norm’s particular brand of humor gets a lot of its greatness from it being delivered a bit roughly, it played pretty well.
Some clips from the premiere episode follow.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Gimme ten, one-armed citizens of…er…okay, a high-five will be sufficient, as Maine lawmakers have legalized the possession of switchblades for folks who only have one arm. Up until this point, switchblades have been banned for all people, but the law has been passed so one-armed people will be able to utilize a knife without being forced to open folding knives with their teeth in emergency conditions…or an impromptu gang turf war. Do they have gang turf wars in Maine? [Yahoo!]
• My pals over at Ted Williams Head landed an interview with John Daly’s ex-wife Sherrie. Well done. [Ted Williams Head]
• Hooray for Canada! They’re getting their very own Lingerie Football League. [Off the Bench]
• Some female MMA fighter fought while pregnant. I guess I didn’t need to add that said MMA fighter was a female. Kinda self-explanatory. Um, yeah. [Larry Brown Sports]
• A great write-up by ‘Duk regarding that douchebag columnist who slammed Bryan Stow, the Giants fan who was savagely beaten at a game, for wearing a Giants jersey. [Big League Stew]
• I don’t know why he did it, but here’s video of some guy jumping from a 100-foot building to the top of a 50-foot building. Methinks he’s crazy. [Bob's Blitz]
• Why are we mad at Jenn Sterger? [Shutdown Corner]
• Great moments in Kiss Cam history. [Unathletic]
• At Florida Atlantic baseball games, Hooters waitresses hula hoop. There you go. [Busted Coverage]
• If the TLC network launched a sports channel. [Sports Pickle]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Opinion: Well, Folks, It Appears Some S**thead Down There Is Shining A Laser Pointer Into The Cockpit And We’re About To Crash (by Capt. Denny MacMillon)
This video (via Big League Stew), shows what San Francisco Giants starting pitcher Tim Lincecum’s unique windup looks like when filmed at 1,000 frames per second, capturing (courtesy of “Red Bull Moments”) “his delivery in ultra slow motion using a Phantom Flex High Speed digital camera system.”
Watching that made me realize how pretty much anything looks a helluva lot cooler when filmed in this unique way. I can only imagine how far out it would look if someone were to film me in this manner when I am doing my thing while blogging. Seriously. Do you have any idea how many distinctly important, precision-type movements go into typing up a post for a sports blog? The mind boggles. Sure, uploading a bunch of photos of whichever gal is the Flavor of the Week or a video of some moron running out onto a baseball field looks easy, but when analyzed by breaking it down into slow motion using a Phantom Flex High Speed digital camera system, I’m sure it would illustrate it is a pretty complex business.
I’m waiting, Red Bull. Don’t go and ignore me and harsh my mellow, Red Bull dudes.
[H/T Big League Stew]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Idiot columnist ascribes some of the blame for the shameful incident when Giants fan Bryan Stow was savagely beaten by subhuman Dodgers “fans” to Stow himself. Why? Because Stow was wearing a Giants jersey. [With Leather]
• On a lighter note, why in the holy hell is this male NASCAR fan wearing cut-off jean shorts? [Off the Bench]
• In case you missed the video of Charlie Villanueva having a full-on spaz attack last night during the Pistons-Cavaliers game, here it is. [The Basketball Jones]
• David Ortiz: Triples Machine. Wait. What? [Larry Brown Sports]
• Rory McIlroy may not have won the Green Jacket, but he does have this pretty cool “Nice Pussy” shirt. [Busted Coverage]
• Makes sense: a boxer who had been disqualified seeks vengeance by attacking referee. [Ted Williams Head]
• The Boston Celtics’ Von Wafer screws up everything. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Awesome: fellow blogger Chimpanzee Rage took in a Wizards game with a bunch of other bloggers, meets Gheorge Muresan. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Blake Griffin trick shot over practice balcony, everyone. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Yep. These fans exist. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: [video] How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You’re Having Sex With Him
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
The above photo was uploaded by New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush a short time ago with the following message (via plixi):
Just left gas station and this how much it cost to fill up my tank! Gas is getting out of control!
People of the world: this crisis has spun way too far out of control now that even Reggie Bush can’t take it anymore. We have to get a handle on this high gas price epidemic, people. Doesn’t anybody realize that Reggie Bush is currently locked out of his job? He can’t even go with the old standby that he’s living check-to-check – he’s not even getting checks to begin with! And to have to pay such an exorbitant amount for gasoline in these trying economic times? Reggie Bush should only have to tolerate so much and this is far beyond what any professional athlete should have to endure.
Dear Lord. Good luck getting your rods and cones back into acceptable working condition after having this photo of Serena Williams sporting, well, I don’t know what the hell it is to be exact, burned into them.
Williams uploaded this photo to Twitter, evidently not content with the knowledge that neon-fluorescent-pink unitards aren’t getting enough play with the kids these days.
[image via]
God I love that video. Using Rush as the soundtrack music really ties the entire thing together, doesn’t it? At the same time, a moment of much-needed levity: Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey says, “These damned monkeys are stealing my bit!” Except, you know, in monkey-speak, because as far as I know, monkeys can’t speak English. At least most of them.
In perhaps on of the more original promotions ever trotted out by a minor league baseball team – and that is a considerable feat – the Lowell Spinners, the Short-Season A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox, have added Team Ghost Riders, which consists of monkeys riding dogs and herding goats, to their 2011 promotional schedule. The event not to be missed will take place on July 19th.
Some information on the aforementioned Team Ghost Riders, from the Spinners’ site (via Off the Bench):
Led by professional rodeo cowboy Tim “WILD THANG” Lepard, Team Ghost Riders is a group of sheep dogs and monkeys, who team together to provide one of the most entertaining traveling acts you will ever see.
After a career as a bull rider resulted in a number of injuries, Lepard decided a change of careers was in order and found such an act with three dogs and three monkeys.
“Working with and training animals involves a lot of hard work,” explained Lepard on his Website. “Traveling across the United States with animals requires even more dedication and responsibility. The animals are like family and require 24/7 care to ensure their well-being. When I see the crowd smiling and hear the laughter, it makes all the hard work worthwhile.”
Man, ain’t that the way of the professional rodeo cowboy: one day, you’re on top of the world, riding bulls, the next, you’re the ringleader of a ragtag crew of monkeys who herd goats while riding dogs. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a thousand times.
Cowboy Rodeo Visits LeLacheur Park July 19 [Lowell Spinners Official Site (via Off the Bench)]
Or, at the very least, not the very dangerous kind of sex offender, as Lawrence Taylor was given Level 1 sex offender status after a hearing in Rockland County Court. The prosecution requested Level 2 but after considering whether or not Taylor was a danger to the public or would repeat his kind, Judge William Kelly stated that “”I frankly don’t think that is likely,” as he ruled on the issue from the bench.
How lucky was Taylor to not be given Level 2 or Level 3 status? Via ESPN:
There are three levels of sex offenders: Level 1 offenders are characterized as being a low risk to the public, Level 2 are medium risk and level 3 are high risk. People registered as the latter two have their names made available to the public, and authorities can go so far as to alert “vulnerable populations,” such as those at a school, nursing home or day care agency, that an offender is living in their neighborhood.
According to his attorney, Arthur Aidala, LT is quite relieved to be given the Level 1 status, meaning that his name will not placed on an online registry of sex offenders.
Via ESPN New York:
Aidala said knowing that he is the lowest level will be a “relief” for Taylor, and that it may make a difference when it comes to sponsorship opportunities in the future. He said Taylor will be a headline guest at a Montclair, N.J., charity golf tournament on June 20, to benefit disabled children.
I can see that. Because when you think about it, if a sponsorship opportunity is up for grabs and it comes down to Taylor and and Level 2 or Level 3 sex offender, how good is Taylor going to look in comparison? Pretty damn good.
Further, while this may be way out of line to suggest, allow me to add that if there happens to be any teenage disabled children at this particular charity golf tournament, make sure those kids have their IDs on them at all times. Just saying.
Lawrence Taylor a level 1 offender [ESPN New York]
A right-handed minor league pitcher has been suspended for 25 games by Major League Baseball due to the possession of an unauthorized syringe. Robinson Fabian pitched most recently last season with the Potomac Nationals, the Washington Nationals’ Class A Advanced affiliate, became the second minor league player suspended in the past two months due to having been caught with a syringe without authorization.
Via ESPN:
On Feb. 8, Washington Nationals catcher Hector Taveras received a 25-game suspension under the minor league program because of syringe possession. While most suspensions for first offenses are for 50 games, MLB can impose lesser discipline if the reason for the penalty was other than a positive test. Under the minor league program, which is stricter than the major league’s joint drug agreement with the union, players may only be in possession of syringes if they have team permission.
From what I can gather, Fabian did not test positive for any banned substance, but the fact that he had a syringe is justification enough to warrant a suspension, presumably because he is not diabetic or, um, what other reasons would a person have a syringe? You know, except to shoot up illegal substances, whether they be performance-enhancing drugs, or, you know, heroin. Or maybe, just maybe, Fabian was an amateur chef of sorts and enjoys infusing his turkeys, roasts, etc. with extra juicy deliciousness by way of using said syringe as a makeshift flavor injector. It’s within the realm of possibility, is it not? Have you ever eaten a flavor-injected turkey? It’s delicious.
Three minor leaguers suspended [ESPN]
Awesome much? In an incredible publicity-generating stunt that has instantly transported me all the way back to my days as a Hot Wheels-obsessed wee lad when kids actually played with real toys (sometimes outside, even), officials at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway have announced that just prior to the racing of the Indianapolis 500 on May 29th, an unnamed driver will attempt to break the world record for the longest jump by a four-wheeled vehicle, utilizing a life-sized version of the Hot Wheels V-Drop jump. Man, is that going to be cool as all get out.
A 100-foot door, located at the fourth turn of the historic race track, will be visible to spectators throughout the buildup to the race and will be connected to a ginormous replica of the trademark orange ramp.
Via an AP report in The Washington Post:
“It is a feat of engineering, and it’s a jaw-dropping sight when you see it,” vice president of marketing Simon Waldron told The Associated Press.
There’s no doubt the stunt will grab attention.
Organizers plan to suspend the large door, which will include a huge replica of the brand’s so-called V-Drop off the door. It will take three weeks to put everything in place.
I state the following opinion without any hint of hyperbole whatsoever: this will without a doubt go down in history of one of the coolest stunts ever attempted in the history of mankind ever. While the jump will not be made over any cars, motorcycles or other objects, if the driver nails it, it will count as a world record, breaking the current mark of 301 feet by Johnny Graves. And if doesn’t work the first time, officials have said additional attempts will be made, time permitting. I can see that. To take the time to create a stunt of such magnitude and have it fail would suck. Screw the race. Let the guy keep trying it until he nails it.
Now that I have Hot Wheels on the brain – I am giving serious consideration to purchasing this bad boy today – how about we enjoy a video featuring some pretty bad ass Hot Wheels jumps? Enjoy.
Win.
Posted by:Since every other website on the goddamn interwebs is uploading this bad boy, I might as well, especially given the fact that the thought of Tom Brady crying over Pia Toscano’s sudden departure from American Idol it is certifiable brilliance.
Well played, gents.
[via TAUNTR]
Um, yes please. In keeping with Burger King’s “Have It Your Way” philosophy, can I get mine with extra bacon?
From Foodbeast (via BuzzFeed):
Burger King Japan is introducing a new Whopper being branded as the Meat Monster. The sandwich starts with a basic Whopper, two cheese slices, three strips of bacon, a second 3.3-oz. beef patty and a Tendergrill Chicken patty. With all those listed additions, the sandwich will run you ¥820 ($9.70).
That’s a whole bunch of meaty deliciousness. Anyone else hungry for some artery-clogging goodness?
Bad ass. Now that Philadelphia Flyers head coach Peter Laviolette has named rookie Sergei Bobrovsky the starting goaltender in the postseason as the team prepares to face the Buffalo Sabres – well, he’s the starter for the time being, given that Michael Leighton has now cleared re-entry waivers – it looks like we will be initially seeing a lot of the Russian goaltender’s totally awesome new goalie mask which features American cultural icons Rocky Balboa and Sideshow Bob. The images above were tweeted yesterday by CSN Philly’s Sarah Baicker and there’s only one thing to say about it:
“Hey yo, Sideshow Bob: I DID IT!!!”
Or alternatively: “Hey yo, Sideshow Bob, I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change. Stop trying to kill Bart.”
I’m sure there are far better ways to incorporate Sideshow Bob into iconic scenes from the films of the Rocky franchise (“Ding Ding”?), all I want to know is how would Sideshow Bob fare trying to chase down a chicken with those ginormous feet of his? I reckon he would end up feeling like a Kentucky Fried Idiot, even without stepping on a series of inconveniently placed rakes in typical Sideshow Bob slapstick fashion. Man, that’s a whole bunch of YouTube videos. Kind of makes me feel like some kind of You’Tube referencing robot or something.
[images via]
(image courtesy of The Sun)
That’s a nice consolation. Unknown to even the golfer himself, Rory McIlroy’s management team secretly flew in Holly Sweeney, McIlroy’s childhood sweetheart (although they have been reportedly “on a break” for some time) two days earlier to Augusta so she could be on hand to presumably surprise him beside the 18th green after he won the Masters. But as it goes so often in life, things were not to be, McIlroy’s game exploded into a white-hot ball of colossal failure while shooting an 80 on Sunday, so Miss Sweeney, 18, instead waited inside the clubhouse for the shaken 21-year-old. Reports indicate that the Northern Irishman’s face lit up after seeing her as the two embraced. Awwww….that’s so sweet.
Via The Sun:
The couple are childhood sweethearts and McIlroy, when he first hit the golfing big time, used to pick her up at the school gates in his BMW. She was by his side when he made his Ryder Cup debut in October.
But McIlory later announced they were taking a “break” in their relationship, as he travelled the world and she concentrated on her studies sports technology student at the University of Ulster.
But within a few weeks he admitted: “Me and Holly still talk every day. We still get on great. I think we both understand what we want.”
They flew together to Kuala Lumpur yesterday, where a shell-shocked McIlory is due to compete in this week’s Malaysian Open.
How romantical. Sure, he may have choked away the Masters, but he’s still a kid and given his considerable skills and maturity, McIlroy will have plenty of opportunities in the future to collect Major Championship. In the meantime, it sure looks like he has a good woman to lean on when things aren’t going his way. Not too shabby.
Rory’s big birdie shock [The Sun]
That video * pretty much sums up the excitement generated by the WNBA draft yesterday. It remains one of my favorite videos of all-time, despite the fact that the music has been removed due to copyright fascists.
And now, my hard-hitting analysis of the 2011 WNBA Draft: players were selected by WNBA teams in a draft-style format.
* Hey, I could have went with the WNBA video from Family Guy. You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.
