Archive for April, 2011
After scoring a second period goal to close the gap to 3-2 in the Boston Bruins’ eventual 5-4 comeback victory in overtime over the Montreal Canadiens, Bruins defenseman Andrew Ference appeared to taunt the Habs faithful in Belle Centre by giving them the old middle-fingered salute. While the sportsmanship of the act can be questioned, you have to admire Ference’s taunting acumen, given the intense rivalry between the two Original Six teams.
According to the esteemed Greg Wyshynski over at Puck Daddy, Ference’s actions could have warranted a Game Misconduct Penalty, but no penalty was assessed, which is good, because according to Ference himself, the middle finger of the glove shooting up above his other digits was merely due to a fist pump that went awry and in his words, “not part of his repertoire.”
Ference’s explanation follows.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Police have charged 29-year-old Jeremiah Wade Buxton of Moulton, Alabama with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief and indecent exposure after he allegedly broke into a home butt-ass naked and claiming to be Jesus Christ. Buxton, in the presence of the residents of the house, took all the pictures off the wall before he was arrested. Buxton, not surprisingly, tested positive for marijuana and methamphetamine. [azcentral]
• He ain’t dead yet? Charlie Sheen took batting practice with the Georgia Tech baseball team. [Off the Bench]
• Congratulations to Kevin Love on his NBA Most Improved Player award. Yay. [The Basketball Jones]
• Video evidence documenting why you should never vow to eat a worm if you lose a hockey bet. [Puck Daddy]
• No one on Tour is intimidated by Tiger Woods anymore, so says world No.1 Martin Kaymar. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Retired NFL greats will be announcing the second round picks for their respective teams in the NFL Draft. [Shutdown Corner]
• Time for another educational edition of KSK’s Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• If NBA 2K11 player ratings were more detailed. [Sports Pickle]
• MLB Commissioner Bud Selig is Mrs. Debtfire. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Nihilist Quilting Project A Depressing Success
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• The plight of the red-headed quarterback. [Shutdown Corner]
• In light of their plight, a search for the best ginger quarterback ever. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Oh dear: when mascot lions attack. [Off the Bench]
• Could these be the new Buffalo Bills uniforms? [With Leather]
• The Buffalo Sabres’ playoff beards are an homage to late star Rick Martin. [Puck Daddy]
• CC Sabathia enters the Field of Dreams. [Babes Love Baseball]
• Drew Bledsoe claims former Patriots backup QB Scott Zolak was the original creator of “Dick In A Box.” [Larry Brown Sports]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: ‘It’s A Privilege To Have Worked With Such Talented People,’ Says Coworker Getting The F**k Out Of There
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Guh.
This is apparently the “Special Open to the 2011 NBA Playoffs” for ABC/ESPN broadcasts. It features former (current?) Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger singing the first song from Led Zeppelin IV, “Black Dog” with Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience as the backing group and believe you me, it is a bloody awful.
Shame on Jason Bonham. With this atrocity, he has committed a heinous crime against all that is great about Led Zeppelin and disgraced his father’s good name. In essence, he took the musical equivalent of a big, steaming dump all over his father’s legacy and legend with this abomination. I don’t care how good-looking Pussycat Doll Lady might be: this ain’t right, man. Nope. Not right at all. I think Robert, John and Jimmy should get together and send Jason a crate of vodka and let nature take its course.
[via]
I hardly thinks this bit of information qualifies as a newsworthy story. So what if the guys on Temple’s baseball team are planning to get together for some UNO? And if they do plan to play UNO, are they planning on going with O.G. UNO or kick it up a notch with UNO Flash?
Further, why just limit themselves to UNO? Is Rack-O too complicated? Nope. I don’t get it.
(note: Sweet Fancy Moses is it a slow news day – at the very least, can somebody from the world of sports please do something that enables me to make a half-assed Seinfeld or Boz Scaggs reference? C’mon guys, do it for your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger-Man)
Temple plays UNO this weekend [USA Today]
Sure, the video has nearly a half-million views, but it’s new to me, so there you go.
No matter what, that video sure is an odd thing to watch to kill a few minutes of your day. With that in mind, I cannot ascertain from watching it whether Portly Sidewalk Roller Skater Guy is extremely talented, extremely weird, or a little bit of both. Yeah, I’m probably leaning towards the extremely weird side of the equation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.
[H/T Off the Bench]
Allow me to introduce to you Robert Ems. He is a die-hard Portland Trail Blazers fan who has become well-known at the Rose Garden as “Free Throw Guy” because -he quite fittingly, given his moniker, I might add – makes it his goal to distract opposing players while they are shooting free throws. Referring to his technique as “subtle, but effective,” Free Throw Guy likes to think he has become a thorn in the side of free throw shooters on other teams due to his frenetic movement. And with his team returning home to Portland now down 2-0 in its playoff series against the Dallas Mavericks, Ems realizes it is his time to shine.
Via The Oregonian:
“Our team needs any sort of edge we can possibly get,” Ems said. “If the players are going to hustle their butts off, so am I. And I want to do anything within the rules to help us win. I’d much rather have a missed free throw (from the opposing team) decide the game than a referee’s call, because we don’t necessarily get the calls.” says Ems.
To be honest, given the relative simplicity employed in his disruption techniques, Free Throw Guy sure puts a lot of thought into how he approaches his craft. Still, I find myself mesmerized by it, as I am sure many of the Mavericks players will experience firsthand come Game 3. Best of luck, Free Throw Guy, may your forays into free throw psychological warfare serve your beloved Trail Blazers well.
Trail Blazer super-fan Free Throw Guy craves Blazer wins (video) [The Oregonian]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Another day, another pervert flashing his Scrotum McNuggets at a McDonald’s. A registered sex offender exposed himself to a woman in a parking lot of a McDonald’s in Newark, Delaware only to proceed to enter the store with his genitalia still exposed. Forty-three-year-old Joe Stevenson was later arrested at his home without incident. [azcentral]
• Orioles skipper Buck Showalter did not appear to be too impressed with this rendition of the national anthem. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The Mavs Towel Thief will strike when you least expect it. [Off the Bench]
• Here’s video of the Madison Square Garden faithful taunting Caps coach Bruce Boudreau. [Puck Daddy]
• Ahoy, sailor: sweet merciful crap, what in the holy hell was Hines Ward wearing on Dancing with the Stars? [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Ernie Els is considering going with the abomination that is the old man putter. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Great organization: MLB is taking over day-to-day operations of the Los Angeles Dodgers. [Rumors & Rants]
• Kevin Harlan has no regard for human life when calling an NBA playoff game. [Awful Announcing]
• Miguel Cabrera would be an All-Star if there were a Drunk Driving All-Star Team. [Deuce of Davenport]
• If state license plate slogans were about sports. [Sports Pickle]
• Check out this guy running in the Boston Marathon while wearing a Brett Favre jersey. [Busted Coverage]
• Ladies and gentlemen, MLB’s new robotic workforce. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Area Neighbors Protest Tree House Acquisition of M-80 Technology
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Video of Steve Nash receiving the Nicki Minaj Treatment. If you do not know what that means, then you really have to click through. [The Basketball Jones]
• Are we about to witness the last Phoenix Coyotes home game ever? [Puck Daddy]
• A man has quit his job in the hopes that 10,00 hours of practice will turn him into a golf pro. [Pro Golf Talk]
• Shocking: there were douchebags at Michael Phelps’ Las Vegas pool party. [Busted Coverage]
• Ryan Mallett called in sick to his interview with the Carolina Panthers. [With Leather]
• Boy, the New York media sure gave up on the Mets in record time. [Off the Bench]
• Holy moly, this White Sox ad featuring Mark Buehrle is incredibly awkward. [Ted Williams Head]
• It’s time for the Mike Florio Divination Watch 2011! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• This video featuring a Jeff Gordon fan going ballistic is certainly entertaining. [The Last Angry Fan]
• It’s true, those laughing Pittsburgh Pirates videos are mesmerizing. [Big League Stew]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Albert Pujols Embarrasses Cardinals By Returning To Dugout With First Base Stuck On Bottom Of Shoe
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
If it wasn’t bad enough that I am not allowed to wear fur or club baby seals for sport (Best. Vacation. Ever.), now those blasted animal rights activists are successfully depriving us of the enjoyment of the sport of goldfish racing. Where’s it going to end? Tell me!
The troubling details, via an AP report on msnbc:
The weekly gold fish races at a Tacoma bar are canceled after it received complaints from animal rights activists.
Every Tuesday night the Harmon Tap Room would feature races in which cheap feeder fish from a pet store were “raced” down two 8-foot troughs. Racers guided the fish with squirt bottles.
Bartender Joel Cummings told KIRO-FM the fish were cared for when they weren’t racing but occasionally they would pass away.
Squirt bottles? The barbarism of it all! But these animal rights activist bozos have to look at this in an entirely different (and some may say humane) way: these were feeder fish, as in they were going to be fed to a person’s pet piranha or even worse, somebody’s “different” uncle. At least these fish got to live, dammit. They got the opportunity to race, to compete, to win. And so what that some died during the thrill of the competition. Seriously, how long do goldfish live on their own to begin with? Three, four days tops? No, this doesn’t sit well with me. All I know is the goldfish I had when I was a wee lad, Bubbles, would have smoked any of these so-called professional racing goldfish. Smoked them like a salmon.
Full disclosure: I have never worn fur nor have I clubbed baby seals for sport. We used foam mallets. Very humane. And still a great trip.
Complaints end goldfish racing at Wash. state bar [msnbc]
(images of Harmon Tap Room goldfish races via)
Behold, good people of the interwebs, the Mini Crossbow. Because when I want to get all medieval with my miniature weaponry, it better damn well be able to shoot flaming bolts of awesomeness. But it should be pointed out that despite its small size, this bad boy packs a wallop, enough to take down hordes of hobbits (or alternatively, dwarfs, for all you anti-Tolkien-ites out there) shrunk down to minuscule size by Rick Moranis’ electromagnetic shrink ray from that movie, Little Shop of Horrors .
From the creator, via YouTube:
I built it entirely out of solid sterling silver and 22k gold (except the bow itself and the string which are made of steel).
It is all handmade and is an original design.
Although it is intended as a high-quality jewelry piece, it functions quite well as a miniature weapon and is able to inflict significant damage.
This miniature crossbow works in exactly the same way as the common full-size hunting crossbow, but in terms of power to weight ratio, the mini crossbow is almost 4X stronger.
It shoots three types of handmade aluminum arrows:
1. Basic (steel-tipped) arrows
2. Ramming arrows
3. Flare arrows
Yes, a high quality jewelry piece…that can maim you. And all we had when I was younger was Crossbows & Catapults. Imagine if they had crap like this when I was a kid…well, I’d probably be dead or have only one eye or have burned down my parents’ house. But man, it would have been so cool, even if I was known around the neighborhood as “that Arson Pirate Kid With The Crossbow.” Who may or may not have been dead. But it would have been good times while it lasted.
[H/T MSNBC]
Sure, Matt Leinart’s professional football career thus far can only be described as average at best a colossal bust. And sure, Leinart was released by the Arizona Cardinals prior to the start of the 2010 season – the team that drafted him 10th overall in the 2006 NFL draft after the team elected to go with Derek “Horse Balls” Anderson as their starters and to use household names John Skelton and Max Hall to complete their collection of quarterbacks on the roster. But guess what, all you haters and doubters, you nattering nabobs of negativity? Your scorn and your hating and your doubting are converted into high octane fuel which powers the quarterbacking machine that is Matt Leinart, who is currently a backup quarterback for the Houston Texans (although he never ran a play or threw a pass during the regular season last year).
At least, so he insists in the following tweet, tweeted yesterday (via Pro Football Talk):
you have to love the haters and doubters. No matter what you do, take that to fuel your fire and inner drive. love my fans!
And we love you, Master Matt Leinart. Keep the faith, brah, and have a beer bong on me.
[H/T Pro Football Talk]
Oh, I’m sure Tiger Woods is quite taken with all the young talent blossoming in China.
It’s funny because the headline could be interpreted as implying that Tiger Woods is plowing through “young talent” in China like a well-struck wedge through a fluffed-up bunker. You know, because he likes to have sex with lots of different women. What I am getting at is the headline is not referring to the golfers in China. Because he has a sex addiction, you see. Get it? If not, here’s a book I suggest you pick up and read.
And I see he is at the Mission Hills golf complex. More like Missionary Hills complex, amirite?
(high fives self)
Tiger Woods finds China is blossoming with young talent [The Telegraph]
People who are dedicated – or insane – enough to run in a marathon already get a free pass into the Land Of Badassery from me, but when a guy finishes a marathon and then proceeds to run another NINETY-NINE FREAKING MILES to his home after completing the grueling athletic endeavor, well, that’s…that’s just kooky talk.
Meet Sam Robson. On Sunday, Robson finished the London Marathon – his first ever, mind you – in three hours and forty-five minutes. But he just kept running, all the way to his home in the town of St. Ives, located in central England. The odyssey took Robson took him an additional 25 hours and fifteen minutes. One of the most difficult aspects of the run, according to Robson? Having to stop at checkpoints.
Via FOX Sports:
“Apart from running through the night, the hardest part was probably stopping at the checkpoints every seven miles or so on the way home. It was difficult to get the rhythm back, but I got through,” Robson said. “About two miles from the end, my hip started to give way.”
The extreme running effort was Robson’s first marathon. “I would do something like this again, and the fact this was my first marathon was something that has really spurred me on,” he said.
Add to the already impressive feat the fact that Robson was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was a teenager and raised £3,246 ($5,315) for the UK Epilepsy Society as a result of his commitment to the cause, perseverance to put himself through such a trial of will and the endurance to withstand the toil it must have wreaked upon his body, well, he’s not only been granted access to the Land of Badassery, he might as well be named the damn emperor of it.
Man runs home after first marathon [FOX Sports]
Watch this eye-popping video featuring the latest in Nike Air and get your game fresh for summer.
A’mare Stoudemire of the New York Knicks, Chris Bosh from the Miami Heat and the Philadelphia Eagles’ DeSean Jackson teaming up for a video featuring a new track by Cook Kids for the new Nike Air Max shoes available at Foot Locker? Respect.
