Archive for April, 2011
Zing! Yesterday, the internets were abuzz regarding the interview Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger did with the Pittsburgh Post Gazette where Big Ben discussed his impending nuptials to Ashley Harlan, in particular how Roethlisberger stated that the couple’s religious beliefs prevented them from living together prior to marriage. Obviously, in light of Roethlisberger’s sordid past, many of us scratched our heads as we contemplated the convenience of Roethlisberger’s transformation into a religious and pious man, the relative hypocrisy exhibited by the assertion and whether or not Roethlisberger truly believes what he is saying.
One person who apparently does not buy into it is Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman Todd Herremans, who took it to the tweets to make a not so subtle dig at the So-Called Spiritual Evolution of Big Ben. Now that’s what I call bringing the snark.
Of course, some folks in Twitterland did not take kindly to Herremans’ analysis of Roethlisberger, prompting him to defend himself:
Funny how it takes all day to get negative feedback from a tweet… If u read it correctly.. It reads “good for him”
See, it’s all about reading comprehension, people. As Herremans points out, his tweet does close with “good for him.” Indeed it does. Indeed it does.
[H/T Pro Football Talk]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• How so? Well, when internet service for two entire countries is shut down for several hours after a 75-year-old woman inadvertently cuts a fiber optic cable while scavenging for copper wire, well, let us just say that the necessary infrastructure just ain’t up to snuff. Internet service was down in the entire country of Armenia and most of Georgia after Aiyastan Shakaryan cut a critical fiber optic cable that ran parallel to train tracks in Tbilisi, Georgia. She faces up to three years in prison for property destruction but officials say that she may receive a lighter sentence due to her age. [azcentral]
• Ladies and germs, your Masters Day One fashion/frustration photo cavalcade. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Hilarious: “One Win Hunting: A Photo Story,” starring Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Terry Francona. [Midwest Sports Fans]
• Examining why exactly the Red Sox are in the hole they find themselves in. [Rumors & Rants]
• Apparently, Adam Dunn heeds medical advice from his television. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Scottie Pippen’s statue was unveiled last night at United Center. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Guy dumps beer on two brawling chick Brewers fans, creating a Milwaukee douche trifecta. [Bob's Blitz]
• The 40 best photos of Kate Upton. Nothing wrong with that. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Lingerie Football League news is always a good thing. [Busted Coverage]
• KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag time! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Jukebox Pretending Oasis CD Too Scratched To Play
Perfect. Simply perfect. I have nothing to add. Simply sit back and enjoy.
Brilliant job, TBJ.
TBJ: Lockout Attack Ads, Stern vs. Hunter [The Basketball Jones]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Ladies and gentlemen, the Gloria James police report. [Larry Brown Sports]
• South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia might have a drinking problem. [With Leather]
• Major League Baseball has copyrighted video of man-on-man kissing in the stands. [Off the Bench]
• Here’s a video of the Minnesota Timberwolves sleepwalking through a game. This just in: they suck balls. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Speaking of the T-Wolves, could Ricky Rubio finally be heading to the NBA? [Rumors & Rants]
• Aaron Rodgers met his girlfriend at a church camp? [Busted Coverage]
• Judge Susan Nelson, who is presiding over the NFL-NFLPA hearings, has gone mad with power. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• It did not take long for LeBron James to begin instituting changes within Liverpool F.C. [TAUNTR]
• Transformers dancing to “Thriller”? Transformers dancing to “Thriller.” [Warming Glow]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: (video) Supreme Court Ruling Gives Fans The Right To Act Like Total Assholes At Games
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
…just as long as she doesn’t choke on the unique combination of culinary treats in abject disgust. Yes, that’s sarcasm right there. Try and keep up. Above is video of the beautiful and talented Heidi Watney, the beloved on-field reporter for NESN’s coverage of the Boston Red Sox, doing what on-field reporters do best: doing stuff no one else on the broadcasting team wants to do. Poor Heidi was sent to a concession stand in Progressive Field during the Red Sox-Cleveland Indians game today to sample various new items available at the ballpark, one of them being a sandwich constructed out of fried chicken and waffles, an ingredient combination well known here in the U.S. and a staple in the South. Unfortunately, Watney either took too large of a bite (unlikely), or her palate was repulsed by the intermixing of the two foods in one concession item (definitely).
Way to take one for the team, Heidi. And in an interesting bit of synchronicity between broadcasting crew and the team it covers, several members of the Boston Red Sox continue to choke away the beginning of their season, losing 1-0 to the Indians to fall to 0-6. Burn!
[H/T Hardball Talk]
What a steal, right? Although there is one caveat: you first have to take a tour of the decrepit, sterile and unsightly home of the Minnesota Vikings, the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. And you have to be one of the first 2,000 rubes to do so. But if you are one of those lucky first 2,000, not only will you have experienced a tour what you will one day bore your grandchildren with the details, you will also have a swath of Teflon-coated fiberglass layered with proprietary acoustical fabric to serve as an everlasting memento.
The purpose of the tour is also to give people with no lives the opportunity to get a first-hand look at the progress that is being made in replacing the roof, which as you recall, collapsed December 12th in spectacular, avalanche-like fashion.
From the Star Tribune (via Daily Norseman):
The dome is open to walk-up visitors April through November, on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays at 11 a.m. The tours depart from Gate F and the cost is $4 per person. After the roof is replaced, the tours won’t be offered on days when the stadium hosts daytime events.
So, book for flights now to the Twin Cities now, people not fortunate enough to live in the Land of 10,000 Lakes: a worthless, nasty piece of fabric is yours for the taking! Only 2,000 remaining, maybe less! Act now!
A really big Homer Hanky: Metrodome tours offer piece of roof fabric [Star Tribune (via Daily Norsemen)]
You know, just in case the Philadelphia Phillies needed him in a pinch. I guess. Why else would this oddball have shown up at Citizens Bank Park dressed up as a Cliff Lee doppelganger? I suppose he may have thought that Charlie Manuel might have somehow seen him way up in the 300 Level and hollered at him: “Cliff! What are you doing up there? Get down here in the dugout now!” But there’s one flaw in his grand plan: first of all, Cliff Lee was probably already in the dugout, so what happens when there are two Cliff Lees on the bench? Talk about awkward. Secondly, Cliff Lee is a left-handed pitcher and this guy was wearing a right-handed glove. Total non-commitment to the part or an egregious oversight. There’s no way Manuel will want this guy now. What a way to blow it, dude.
[H/T The700Level]
"Jeez guys, this kind of stings."
Boy, team unity has never appeared so, um, heavily peroxided? The University of Minnesota Duluth Bulldogs are likely putting on the final touches as they prepare for their Frozen Four semifinal matchup against the Notre Dame Fighting Irish at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul later this afternoon. But one aspect that will not require any final touches is the team’s collection of obscenely over-bleached hair.
Via the Star Tribune:
“We haven’t needed any touchups,” senior winger Justin Fontaine said. “You kind of leave it in your hair for an hour or three, and there you go.”
Coach Scott Sandelin isn’t sold on the process.
“My first reaction? I’m not going to do that,” Sandelin said. “I have a 12-year-old son playing Pee-Wees, so I was getting pressure from him, too.”
An hour or three? That’s a long time to leave that crap in your hair. The players probably have scalp burns. But it’s all in good fun so when their hair begins to fall out in bleached-out tufts of ugliness, I’m sure they will all be able to have a good laugh about it. Just as long as they figure out a way to prevail on their virtual home ice this weekend and bring a national championship back to Duluth. The hair will probably grow back. Maybe.
Bulldogs hope blond ambition comes through [Star Tribune]
By now you have likely read or heard the news that Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger confirmed that he is engaged to on-again, off-again girlfriend Ashley Harlan and the couple are planning a July wedding. In a wide-ranging interview with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Roethlisberger spoke publicly for the first time regarding his upcoming nuptials and in the article, it is addressed why Harlan still lives at home with her parents:
Ms. Harlan, a physician’s assistant who turns 27 in July, lives at home with her parents. Mr. Roethlisberger cited the couple’s religious faith and beliefs as the reasons for not living together until marriage. He also hopes she can continue to live her life out of the spotlight.
Alright. I guess, in light of all the hard-partying shenanigans that Roethlisberger has been involved in over the years, either he’s one of them “Born Again” religious types or it could be explained by the possibility that he suffered from an odd case of temporary amnesia which allowed him to behave like a cretinous, depraved and drunken horndogger, not typical personality characteristics of a person deeply held religious faith. Oh, I mean allegedly behaved like a cretinous, depraved and drunken horndogger. Sorry about that. Either way, best of luck to the happy couple. Here’s to many years of happiness.
But if I may add just one last bit of advice for Big Ben: a traditional bachelor party might not be the best idea. You know, with all that “alleged” stuff from his past. Oh, and don’t invite your former teammate, Jeff Reed, to the wedding, for obvious reasons. No need for an impromptu pee party to break out during the bride and groom’s first dance.
Roethlisberger talks wedding plans, media scrutiny as date nears [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
What nationality is “Your Name” anyway? Dutch, maybe? Yeah, probably Dutch. Then again, this St. Louis Cardinals fan could very well be Polish. It is possible that when her great-grandparents emigrated to the United States from Poland, they changed it from Nameiski. I mean, I wouldn’t have done it, but I suppose the times were different back then. Something to think about, I guess.
[H/T Joe Sports Fan]
Well, if you’re going to commit a felony while brandishing a knife, you might as well be comfortable. According to police reports, a man wielding a knife and wearing Boston Red Sox pajamas robbed a convenience store in Braintree, Massachusetts on Monday night.
Via MyFOX Boston:
The clerk at Luke’s Convenience Store on Pond Street told police that shortly after 8:30 p.m., a white man wearing a black mask and gloves, a green hooded sweatshirt pulled up over his head and blue pajama bottoms with Red Sox logos on them, entered the store and demanded money, the Patriot Ledger reported.
The suspect reportedly pointed a knife at the store clerk and then reached over the counter and grabbed a sum of money from the cash register. Police say he ran away toward Randolph.
Apparently, Red Sox Pajama Bandit is still on the loose and there’ is no telling where he might strike next. Hey, I understand the Boston Red Sox are winless this season, but that’s no reason for a man to not to put forth a little effort into his criminality and at least change out of his bedtime clothes and put on his Red Sox cap and jacket and then go rob a store while behaving like a knife-wielding maniac. It’s the little things that truly define a real fan, you see, although if I understand things correctly, once pajamas are worn out in public, they cease to be sleepwear and are somehow magically transformed into something called “daywear,” so there you go.
Man wearing Red Sox pajamas robs store at knifepoint [MyFOXBoston]
She allegedly a-salted him, you see.
Moving on, various news outlets out of Miami are reporting that Gloria James, the mother of Miami Heat star LeBron James, has been arrested for misdemeanor assault relating to an incident at the “posh” Fontainebleau Hotel. Details are sketchy, but according to WPLG-TV (via ESPN), Mama James got into it with a parking valet employed by the hotel.
There is really not much to add to this story at this point – at least until more details become known as they are released by the police. To be honest, the only reason I wrote something about it is because I wanted to use that old as hell “peanut in the park” joke. My grandpa would be proud.
Reports: LeBron James’ mom arrested [ESPN]
But let it be known that the two aforementioned senior citizens were Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer, so that at least makes me feel a little bit better, despite the fact that it reminds me that I am a terrible golfer.
At precisely 7:40 ET, Jack and Arnie took their places on the first tee box and officially opened the 2011 Masters with their ceremonial tee shots. According to Devil Ball Golf, the two old guys can still rip it pretty well for their age: Palmer’s tee shot went about 220 yards while Nicklaus outdrove him, hitting his about 270. Jesus, that’s pretty damn impressive.
Now, four of the best days in sport all year are upon us, at least in my humble opinion. There’s something about the Masters that makes it such a wonderful event. Perhaps it has a little to do with the tournament being at least a symbol that spring is finally here, but it’s much more than that. And much like most people, I will be keeping one eye on the action at Augusta National while I take care of some menial work-related duties, although with the blogging thrown in there, being an anesthesiologist can be pretty trying over the next couple of days. Just hold your horses, you whiny patients: it doesn’t hurt that bad.
[H/T Devil Ball Golf]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Seventeen-year-old Kendrick Perkins of St. Petersburg, Florida is thanking his lucky stars – as well as his baggy pants – for sparing him certain harm when an alligator attacked him. As Perkins evaded the beast, which he estimates was between seven and eight feet long, the gator lunged at Perkins, tearing at the material of his baggy pants. The logic employed by Perkins and his mother was that had he been wearing regular, non-baggy pants, the alligator would have locked on to his leg, but that logic is completely erroneous. Baggy pants don’t make your legs smaller or change where Perkins’ leg was as he ran away – had Perkins been wearing regular pants, the gator would have likely just bitten at air. Thinking like a fool, I guess you could say. [msnbc]
• Ben Roethlisberger is getting married. Yeah, you read that right. [Off the Bench]
• Are the Carolina Panthers closing in on Cam Newton? [Rumors & Rants]
• Brett Favre is holding a football camp in Mississippi. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Good riddance: the era of phoned-in golf disqualifications is nearly over. [Pro Golf Talk]
• The most adorable photo of Don Mattingly you will ever see. Hint: it features an adorable girl holding a photo of Donny Baseball. Makes sense. [Big League Stew]
• Jeez, there was another fight in the NBDL. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Awesome: be the first kid on your block with a copy of the hottest new video game: WNBA JAM! [TAUNTR]
• Check out the chubby little kid who made it on the Jumbotron during the Celtics game. [Busted Coverage]
• Warren Sapp has been spotted frolicking around Miami…hey, what a second…that’s not… [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Juror Brings Baseball Glove To Barry Bonds Perjury Trial
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• With the Masters coming up, here are the top 10 sports themes from television. [Awful Announcing]
• Yeah, two-handed slashes to the head are usually not a good idea. [Puck Daddy]
• A Chicago Bulls fan allegedly spit at Grant Hill. Jesus. [Ball Don't Lie]
• If you missed the story about how William “The Refrigerator” Perry got his Super Bowl ring back after a 10-year-old boy spent his savings to buy it, here it is. [With Leather]
• Baseball’s unwritten rules aren’t worth the paper they aren’t written on. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Interesting query regarding how Madden will now have concussions: How Do Sets Of Pixels Get Concussions, Anyway? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Wow, according to this ESPN graphic, Bartolo Colon has lost a ton of weight. [The Last Angry Fan]
• Is Skylar Diggins the hottest female basketball player? [Ted Williams Head]
• BJ Upton does not look like he’s uncomfortable in front of the camera. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Naïve Detective Suspects Fair Play
