Actually, it was Diet Coke – we’ll get to that aspect of the story in a moment – but the joke in the above post title was already dying a slow death even before I finished typing it and two more syllables would have been its death knell. Be that as it may, a minor controversy developed over the weekend when it was reported that Mark Cuban left his Rose Garden seat early with less than a minute remaining in the game as the Trail Blazers capped a miraculous comeback against Cuban’s Dallas Mavericks. The Mavs blew a 23-point lead on Saturday, losing 84-82.
So, is the fact that Cuban refused to watch the closing moments of his team’s epic choke job proof positive that he is a spoiled, whiny, sore loser? Possibly, but we possessed that knowledge about Cuban long before this occurred. Further, Cuban insists all is not as it seems. You see, he had to take a monster leak due to his overconsumption of Diet Coke. So he says (via The Dallas Morning News):
“I had to (go to the bathroom),” Cuban said today via email. “I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Six large Diet Cokes during the game will do that to you,” Cuban added.
Six large Diet Cokes? That’s borderline gluttony, man. And what gives? He couldn’t hold for one minute longer with the outcome of the game hanging in the balance? Does Cuban need a prescription for Flomax or something?
Well, I suppose I’ll leave that line of questioning for Cuban and his urologist. In any event, I guess that’s a better alternative than having to retreat from his seat due to being pelted by airborne objects. At least for Cuban personally. Mark Cuban haters, on the other hand? I suppose they might have preferred the latter.
Blame Diet Cokes for Mark Cuban’s early departure from Game 4 [The Dallas Morning News]