The Baltimore Orioles, mired in obscurity and irrelevancy for what seems like forever, are enjoying their best start to a season since 1997. After sweeping the three-game series against the Tampa Bay Rays over the weekend, the O’s returned home to the friendly confines of Camden Yards (sorry, Oriole Park at Camden Yards) on Monday to take on the Detroit Tigers. And wouldn’t you know it? The fans were pretty jazzed up about the the team’s impressive 3-0 start and came out to watch their local nine in droves. And in typical “Gotta Support The Team By Acting Like A Complete Jackass By Running Out On The Field” fashion, at some point during the game, a wisenheimer disrupted Baltimore’s eventual 5-1 victory over the Tigers by taking a nice stroll through the outfield, eventually ending up on the warning track in right field, dazed, confused, probably inebriated and definitely exhausted.
Even though the idiot was eventually apprehended by the Boys in Blue, I guess while he likely sobered up in a jail cell somewhere in Baltimore on Monday night, at least he can feel better about not being tased. That’s nice. But what was up with Idiot Ballpark Runner Guy’s collapsing submission move he elected to go with at the end? They were cops, not attacking bears – playing dead wasn’t going to confuse them to such a degree that they were going to ignore him and eventually leave him alone. All I’m saying is if a person is going to be enough of a dumbass to run out onto the field, for the fans enjoyment/annoyance, at least try a little harder to elude the cops at the end. That way the police can break out the Tasers and take the guy down, giving us a fitting end to a cretinous act. Moron.