Archive for March, 2011
To the NCAA, all we are is dust in the wind, especially as it pertains to the Butler Bulldogs mascot, Blue II. You see, the NCAA has a rule which bans live mascots from making appearances at arenas during opening rounds of the NCAA Tournament, so much to the chagrin (apparently) of Blue II and his owner, Michael Kaltenmark (who is also Butler’s director of web and marketing communications), Blue II will not be there to support the team as Butler takes on Old Dominion in Georgetown on Thursday night. Kaltenmark says that Blue II “…lives for basketball games. It’s almost like what he was born to do.”
So unfair. Via FOX 59:
“When we found out Blue couldn’t go Blue and I were certainly disappointed. We wanted to go,” Kaltenmark said.
Stupid NCAA and their archaic, draconian rules. But the organization’s ham-fisted policies have caused an outpouring of support for Blue II, much of which can be found on Butler Blue II’s Twitter page, which currently boasts nearly 3,000 followers, a number which is sure to rise as the word of the bulldog’s predicament is spread. Even ESPN’s Tony Kornheiser has passionately joined is supporting Blue II’s cause, challenging the organization to not “fence him in” and to liberate Blue II from his NCAA-imposed exile.
So the movement hath begun. FREE BLUE II! FREE BLUE II!
NCAA bans Butler mascot from opening game [FOX 59]
That didn’t take long, did it? Much like the video of Tom Brady’s uncoordinated attempts at cutting a rug down in Rio quickly became an internet sensation which was subsequently converted into an animated GIF, the video of Rapturous Nets Fan Guy whose demonstrative celebration is quickly sweeping the internets has now experienced a similar fate.
You’re about to become a huge star on these here interwebs, pink-shirted lover of all things New Jersey Nets. Chances for this kind of online infamy come once, maybe twice in a lifetime. Okay, maybe not even once. Enjoy the ride. As well as the likely appearance on Tosh.0 for a Web Redemption sometime down the line.
[animated GIF goodness via]
Ha. Poop. It works on so many levels. Mostly on a juvenile level, but that’s often the most amusing level of them all.
Some wisenheimer in Houston utilized his, uh, road sign hacking skills to change a sign that originally read “DETOUR” to “POOP” in downtown Houston. The fecal-themed message remained on the sign throughout the weekend, until a new message was displayed: “: ) LOL”
LOL indeed. Workers finally managed to change the sign back so it displayed its original message, but drivers on Houston’s roadways will always have the memories. And the perpetrator of this anus – er, heinous – crime, if caught, could face a fine up to $500 for hacking into the onboard computer.
Poop.
Potty-mouthed prankster messes with Texas sign [Yahoo!]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A postal worker in the Russian republic of Karelia reported a mysterious package which was emitting a ticking sound to authorities. Anti-terrorist bomb squad experts were called in and when the package was opened, it was discovered the odd noises were coming from a vibrator which had been turned on “by accident”. The only explosions that vibrator could cause would be in the realm of orgasms, amirite? [Yahoo!]
• Bob Knight might turn out to the be the biggest sleeper in this year’s NCAA tournament. [Tirico Suave]
• The NFLPA has advised top prospects to not show up for the NFL Draft. [Rumors & Rants]
• ESPN’s Doug Gottlieb does not know how to put his cell phone on silent. [Bob's Blitz]
• Breaking down Gary Bettman’s five simple steps to increase player safety in the NHL. [Puck Daddy]
• The WNBA’s Cappie Pondexter is a complete idiot. [Off the Bench]
• Reggie Bush’s supposed new girlfriend ain’t no Kim Kardashian. [Ted Williams Head]
• Super Happy Nets Fan! I mean, SUPER HAPPY NETS FAN! [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• R-r-remember the Raptors? Yeah, they were awesome. [The Basketball Jones]
• A complete idiot’s guide to Round 1 of the NCAA Tournament. [Deuce of Davenport]
• U Can’t Touch This…Bobblehead. [The Slanch Report]
• If you haven’t seen the video of the kid who has had enough and power slams a bully, you should definitely check it out. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Ha ha: Wilson Chandler’s name was spelled wrong on his Nuggets jersey. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: ‘Planet Earth’ PA Still Trying To Get Release Forms From Every Bird In Serengeti
Pretty much a no-brainer, wouldn’t you say? The folks at DraftStreet and I have teamed up for a fantasy basketball contest. It is a one-night gig and it will take place this Friday. All you need to do is click on through to DraftStreet right here and register. From there it’s easy-peezy, lemon squeezy. Just draft an eight player team (2 centers, 2 forwards, 2 guards, 2 utility players) while staying within a $100,000 salary cap. But be sure to choose wisely, because as I noted above, while you can make modifications to your roster all they way up to tip-off of the first game on Friday, assembling a winning squad if of utmost importance, as the contest is for one night only and the outcome will solely be decided on how your squad performs in various statistical categories (points, rebounds, assists, etc.) during Friday’s slate of NBA action. And the best part of all? It’s absolutely free to enter. Do I need to mention again that there’s a chance to win some cash? What a deal, right?
So stop dilly-dallying and head over to DraftStreet and select your team already. It’s free and takes just a few seconds, for crying out loud. Good luck!
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Kevin Love’s consecutive games with a double-double streak is over and he couldn’t be happier. [The Basketball Jones]
• Today’s entry in Lady’s of March Madness is a Florida State gal. [Busted Coverage]
• Look out, kids, the Miami Heat are on fire! [With Leather]
• In ESPN’s new Fab 5 documentary, Jimmy King says what he really thought of Grant Hill and Christian Laettner. [Off the Bench]
• You can now create your own suspensions with the NHL Wheel of Justice. [Puck Daddy]
• Peter King is the eternal optimist. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: NHL Ref Likes It When He Gets To Jump Over Puck
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
During an Alberta College Athletic Association Final Four game between Northern Alberta Institute of Technology (NAIT) Ooks and the Mount Royal Cougars up Canada way on Friday, the Ooks “mascot” felt the sudden urge to entertain the crowd in his own Ookian way. He elected to join Mount Royal’s dance team while they performed a routine on the court, playfully mocking their performance. Unfortunately for Ooks Mascot Guy, one particularly irate Mount Royal fan took offense to his impromptu performance and proceeded to storm the court himself, taking out the wisenheimer with a particularly aggressive throw of his shoulder. Boom.
Sadly, the defending of the dance team’s honor by one crazed vigilante failed to inspire Mount Royal’s basketball team, as they fell to NAIT by a score of 95-82.
Man pushed out of the way during impromptu dance [Sporting News]
What a couple of goofballs those Mike & Mike fellows are! And if you thought the shenanigans ESPN’s dynamic radio duo were already zany enough as it is, just wait, it’s about to get, um, even zanier.
Apparently, Greenberg and Golic have an annual bet regarding their brackets during the NCAA Men’s Tournament where the loser has to dress up like a woman, complete with makeup and a dress. Well, they have upped the insanity, according to spokesman Josh Krulewitz. Hackneyed forays into transvestism just aren’t going to cut it any longer. Not even close.
Via USA Today:
“We discussed it further and decided to refine the wager and make it more specific. Greenberg will have to dress as Justin Bieber or Golic will have to dress as Lady Gaga. The original concept did not set the proper tone and this is more entertaining for our audience.”
Hoo boy. One question: how does one dress as Justin Bieber exactly? Actually, forget about that, there are far more pressing – and terrifying – issues at hand, as the thought of Golic dressing up as Lady Gaga is certifiable nightmare fuel. Come on, Greenberg: you better win this damn thing. Please.
ESPN leads criticism of NCAA tournament picks [USA Today]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• The company Graphic Armor is rolling out a line of condoms which feature advertising. The first one features KISS’s Gene Simmons with his tongue unfurled. Weird. The condoms come in a 3-pack and sell for $7.99. Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? [msnbc]
• Makes sense: Steelers fan gets Terrible Towel tattoo on his arm. [Off the Bench]
• Nothing like a Don Cherry rant to start off a Monday. [Puck Daddy]
• Another bat stole the show at the AT&T Center. [Bob's Blitz]
• Charles Barkley and Billy Packer are engaging in a nice little pissing match. [Awful Announcing]
• Tiger Woods appears to be rediscovering his game. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Tim Lincecum thinks his doppelganger should get a haircut. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Guy meets Michael Wilbon and takes a photo, Michael Wilbon seems less than thrilled. [Busted Coverage]
• Bill Walton appeared in a Guinness commercial? [Sharapova's Thigh]
• WL continues its guide to Minor League mascots. Today: the Appalachian League. [With Leather]
• If Al Davis took the time to write Raiders players a lockout letter, it pretty much would look exactly like this. [Read and React]
• Gary Bettman will be around for at least five more years. Yay. [Melt Your Face Off]
• The NFLPA’sa Lockout Budget Plan. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Report: Danny Ainge Got Tons Of Pussy At BYU
That goshdarn Jimmy Joe. He’s always as revved up as muskrat on meth! Enjoy the vid and enjoy your weekend. And if you’re a muskrat, stay away from the meth, for goodness sake. Tarnations!
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• When the Utah Jazz are at Olive Garden, they’re family. [The Basketball Jones]
• OSU’s student newspaper has called for Jim Tressel’s firing. [With Leather]
• David Stern cleverly told Stan Van Gundy to shut the rip up. [Larry Brown Sports]
• A video showing what happens when pro snowboarders have sumo suit hockey fights. [Puck Daddy]
• Even Taiwanese animators know that Dan Snyder is an asshole. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• High school hockey team throws game to keep rivals out of the playoffs. [Off the Bench]
• Greatest March Madness moments in Lego form. [TAUNTR]
• Remember that Memphis Cheerleader Freak Out video? Yeah, it’s been mixed with a Slayer tune. [Busted Coverage]
• Maria Sharapova has a new commercial, which is always a good thing. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Another entertaining edition of “What Were You Thinking?” [Melt Your Face Off]
• UFC Ring Girl Brittany Palmer has a high opinion of her butt. [Bob's Blitz]
• Baby drinking beer at a baseball game? Baby drinking beer at a baseball game. [Ted Williams Head]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: BYU Students Protest Brandon Davies’ Dismissal By Having Sex All Over Campus
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Well, you can kind of dunk like Blake Griffin, as long as you can naively adhere to the belief that by uploading a photo of your face into the site’s program which rather clumsily places your visage over Griffin’s in a video where he dunks, well, more power to you. You’re a high-flying, highfalutin dunking machine. On the Subway Dunk Fresh site, you have the choice of the tomahawk, the windmill, a two-handed jam, up and under or off the glass slam. Enjoy.
As you can see, I did not upload a photo of myself (Witness Protection Program and whatnot), but instead chose to have Bat Boy do the tomahawk. And as you will notice, I’m dreadfully impatient with these kind of things, as I took very little time to alter the image to better fit the template. Here’s the video. Woo-hoo. I’ll never get those precious moments back.
When I think of men’s college basketball, my thoughts instantly turn to country crooner Kenny Chesney (much like when anyone says the word “soulmate” around Peyton Manning), so imagine my excitement when I learned that The Chesner will be headlining Final Four’s Capital One JamFest in Houston, which makes sense, as that’s the same city where the Final Four will be held. Synergy, partner. Synergy.
The JamFest is part of the Big Dance Concert Series. It is a free, three-day music festival that coincides with the Final Four. It will take place at Discovery Green in Houston’s downtown area.
Officials say they will announce the time for Chesney’s performance later this month.
Later this month? Later this month? Sorry, officials, we Chesneyholics cannot and will not wait that long. We demand answers immediately or there’s gonna be trouble! I’m talking more trouble than a marriage on the beach to Renee Zellweger, but that’s another story altogether.
Kenny Chesney to lead Final Four event [ESPN]
It’s funny because Sidney Crosby plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins, not my favorite NHL team. If that had been the case, I would have found this tasteless and immediately sent The Onion a sternly-written letter expressing my unhappiness with it. Of course, I would have concluded said letter with “P.S. I am not a crackpot,” but all my letters are closed in that manner.
But seriously, folks, here’s to Sid the Kid’s speedy recovery.
Injured Sidney Crosby Confined To Skatechair [The Onion]
This series is sponsored by Miller High Life – The Official Beer Of You. Find out how you can get sponsored by Miller High Life.
Miller High Life, the sponsor of this here post, is on the lookout for people who are worthy of sponsorship by their product. And as the Official Beer of You, they are seeking out regular guys and gals to sponsor instead of wasting their time on the overabundance of spoiled, egotistical and narcissistic personalities who currently pervade the world of professional sports.
And after I fixed my eagle-eyed, steely, Hypnotic Staring Cricket Fan-like gaze over the sporting landscape, I surmised that perhaps no athlete’s recent actions have made them less worthy of High Life sponsorship than New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. His globe-trotting, headband-sporting (see above), Carnival dancing/prancing routine makes Brady seem so out of touch with the real world. Not only that, a seemingly insurmountable divide has been created between the Super Bowl-winning, supermodel-marrying pretty boy and the Regular Joes and Normal Nancys like you and me the world over.
