Archive for March, 2011
I tried to warn everybody last week, but apparently, no one listened – except for maybe Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon. And if it wasn’t my advice that somebody close to New York Yankees legend Yogi Berra should get him outfitted with Life Alert after he took a tumble in the Yankees clubhouse last week, perhaps Maddon was simply in the right place at the right time yesterday. Berra nearly bit it again after the 85-year-old tripped on the protective carpet surrounding the batting cage prior to the New York Yankees-Tampa Bay Rays spring training game in Tampa. Thankfully, Maddon was there to prevent Berra from going down hard.
Via ESPN New York:
“We were talking, walking and he tripped,” Maddon said.
Seriously folks, I’m not even joking anymore. What if this happened and no one was around? Somebody please think about this guy’s welfare and safety and get him set up with Life Alert. And if not Life Alert, LifeCall is always a perfectly suitable alternative.
Joe Maddon catches Yogi Berra [ESPN New York]
HERE COMES THE PAIN!
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
HA HA!
One shining moment, indeed. I only hope Skillet the Bulldog had the decency to call that teddy bear the next day.
Friggin’ brilliant. And I have to concur with Josh, that might be my favorite thing ever. Great stuff, With Leather. Great stuff.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com. Be sure to enter S.O.B.’s Totally Free NBA Fantasy Basketball Contest. There’s $100 up for grabs. Click here for details. You have until 7:00 ET to enter, so stop dillydallying!
• …these guys were there to give you a nice dream. A drug ring in New York has been accused of selling over 43,000 oxycodone between 2009 and 2010 by using a Lickety Split ice cream truck to make its rounds for distribution. After selling ice cream to children, Luis Scala would hop back into the truck to grab pills to sell to his adult customers. Who says the entrepreneurial spirit is dead in America? [azcentral]
• “The World According to Bill Walton” is way better than that lame Robin Williams “Garp” movie. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• Speaking of Bill Walton, Josh from WL continues his Meeting Celebrities Reality Tour by meeting the aforementioned great man. [With Leather]
• Awesome: more Greatest March Madness Moments Lego-ized. [TAUNTR]
• The San Antonio Spurs decided to take in a Lady Gaga concert together. Yeah. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• ONIONS! You can tell Bill Raftery is already in mid-tournament form. [Awful Announcing]
• I have to agree, the four-pronged approach to NCAA Tournament coverage hasn’t been too shabby. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Blake Griffin will not be mounted! [Bob's Blitz]
• The gals at BLB keep bringing it with their MLB Season Preview Haikus. [Babes Love Baseball]
• What’s this? An extra special St. Patrick’s Day Mailbag? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Hoo boy: these gals were large and in charge for St. Patrick’s Day. [Busted Coverage]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Exhausted Studio Has Done All It Can In Terms Of Building Excitement For ‘The Lincoln Lawyer’
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It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Boy, that Chris “Birdman” Andersen gives one helluva interview. [The Basketball Jones]
• Awesome: Tale of the Tape: NFL vs. Modern-Day Slavery. [Joe Sports Fan]
• My pal Josh from over at WL got to hang out with CBS’s Greg Anthony. [With Leather]
• Yes, this is exactly how you earn a 40-game suspension in junior hockey. [Puck Daddy]
• Seattle Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez is a master of disguise. [The Slanch Report]
• Jay Cutler dressed up as a Twinkie for Halloween? Jay Cutler dressed up as a Twinkie for Halloween. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Tim Lincecum is a huge fan of In-N-Out Burger, but then again, who isn’t? I’ll tell ya who: friggin’ vegetarians, those misguided goofballs. [Big League Stew]
• Despite the St. Louis Blues’ insistence to the contrary, my pal LeNoc sure doesn’t feel lucky. [Melt Your Face Off]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: New Mistress Seems To Be Good For Area Man
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
And by exclaiming “Janey Mack!”, I do not mean that I don’t believe that Texas Rangers President/CEO Nolan Ryan isn’t worthy of the Irish-American Baseball Hall of Fame, it’s that I never knew he and I were kinfolk. Well, I’ll be gobsmacked!
But alas, ’tis be true, though. It was announced on Tuesday that Nolan Ryan (pictured above, giving Robin Ventura a demonstration of what it means to have Irish heritage) has indeed been named as a nominee for enshrinement into the Irish-American Baseball Hall of Fame, an honor I am sure he was quite pleased to learn about, with it being St. Patrick’s Week and all (why limit oneself to one measly day of revelry, I say!)
Other nominees named on Tuesday were former Twins skipper Tom Kelly, “Centerfield” performer John Fogerty and oddly, “Mighty Casey of the Mudville Nine,” the character in Ernest Thayer’s famous poem, “Casey at the Bat.”
Wait. Casey wasn’t a real person. He was? Wait, of course he wasn’t. It’s a poem, not a historical account of a real event, right? I’m sorry for all the confusion, I’ve had a wee bit too much of the creature today, what with it being St. Patrick’s Week. I already mentioned that, haven’t I? And what happened to my damn pants?
Ryan nominated for Irish-American Baseball Hall [FS Southwest]
Jesus-tattooed American Soccer Messiah David Beckham was booed lustily by the locals during the Los Angeles Galaxy’s 1-0 season opening win over the Sounders in Seattle. While a player from a visiting team getting booed by the hometown fans is hardly surprising, what makes this an interesting story are Beckham’s post-match comments which add credence to the theory that the soccer star’s could be suffering from a burgeoning Christ complex:
Via The Sun:
“I had the weight of the league on my shoulders when I arrived here. But I’ve certainly seen improvements in the American game.
“We have some new teams coming into the league, attendance is up in certain areas – and all that makes me proud.”
The weight of the league on his shoulders? Pshaw. He should consider himself lucky that the masses haven’t insisted he play matches while wearing a crown of thorns and then after the match, force him to carry the league on his shoulders up to a locale akin to Golgotha, where he would be metaphorically crucified on a cross constructed out of goalposts.
But it does make me feel all the better to know that he’s proud of we troglodytic, uninformed American soccer fans. Or was he saying that he’s proud of himself? Huh. That’s a tricky one to decipher. Beckham is quite the enigma, but I suppose we should not question what he does nor what he says. The Soccer Lord moves in mysterious ways.
Becks is on the boos [The Sun]
Since I don’t spend much time following the comings and goings of high school students – long story – I had no idea that Boston Celtics head coach Doc Rivers’ son, Austin, is a blue chip basketball prospect. So much so, in fact, that he was the recipient of the Wootten Player of the Year Award, given to the top of high school basketball player in the country. That sort of excellence – not to mention his pedigree – has landed Austin a spot in Mike Krzyzewski Army of Courtslayers as he will be attending Duke in the fall.
Unlike his father, who by all appearances seems to be a low-key person – it appears that young Austin is a bit of a talker. Check out the quote that has been making its way around the ‘tubes recently which summarizes Austin’s thoughts on King James, first reported by Brian McLaughlin from Sporting News: “I don’t want to just meet LeBron, I want to destroy him on the court one day.”
Big talk for a young man. But there’s something to say about such brazen overconfidence, although Papa Doc, when asked about the quote Wednesday during the Celtics played the Pacers, attempted to provide some clarification for the quote by insisting that one has to look at it in its entirety to get the true meaning behind what his son said, which is as follows (via Sporting News):
“Well, I’ve met Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen — you name it. A lot of people ask me who I’ve met through my dad, and they’re in awe when they hear the names of the players, but I’ve never looked at it like that. It’s cool meeting all of them, but I really want to be in their situation one day. I don’t want to just meet LeBron, I want to destroy him on the court one day.”
Um, okay. So instead of solely appearing extremely overconfident, we have also learned Austin has met a lot of NBA greats. Good to know. Sorry, but reading the entire quote doesn’t really change what the kid said one iota, although I wouldn’t mind seeing him accomplish his on-the-court, metaphorical regicide. At least fans in Cleveland would have something to cheer about for once…in a few years. Patience is a virtue, Clevelanders. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Austin Rivers says he wants to ‘destroy’ LeBron, Doc clarifies [Sporting News]
Stop the presses! In what should hardly come as a surprise given the sometimes unfair reputation bestowed upon them, fans of Philadelphia Eagles and Philadelphia Phillies take the top two spots, respectively, of GQ‘s “Worst Sports Fans In America” list.
An excerpt detailing the reason behind the mag’s not-so-shocking conclusion:
Over the years, Philadelphia fans have booed Santa Claus, their own star players, and most absurdly, the recipient of America’s very first hand transplant, whose crime was dribbling in a ceremonial first pitch—thrown with his freshly transplanted hand. Boooo! Admittedly, there are some things fans have cheered. Like Michael Irvin’s career-ending neck injury and a fan being tased on the outfield grass. Things reached their nadir last season, when Citizens Bank Park played host to arguably the most heinous incident in the history of sports: A drunken fan intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl. The truth is this: All told, Philadelphia stadiums house the most monstrous collection of humanity outside of the federal penal system.
Ouch. Not mincing words there, are they? And while it’s hard to argue GQ‘s rationale, as alluded to above, oftentimes Philly fans are painted with a broad brush. Further, like all lists, the results should be taken with a grain of salt. With that stated, I certainly hope Philly fans do not assemble into an unruly mob and storm the offices of Gentlemen’s Quarterly armed with pitchforks and torches. After all, they all are degenerate bastards, right? But if they do, esteemed employees of GQ, one piece of advice: Don’t tase them. It will only make them stronger.
The remaining top 10 fanbases from the list of GQ‘s “Worst Sports Fans In America” follow.
Allow me a bit of blatant homerism with this one. Despite currently undergoing weekly treatments at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona for esophageal cancer, Minnesota Twins great and Hall of Famer Harmon “Killer” Killebrew (above, with Jim Thome, in a photo from 2010 spring training) has arrived at the Twins’ spring training complex in Fort Myers, Florida. As always, Killebrew was upbeat, not only about finally making it to spring training (he appears annually as a special instructor for the Twins), but also regarding his battle against cancer.
Via the Pioneer Press:
“I’m actually feeling great. This has been kind of a long process, started in December and I’m still going through treatments, but I’m really feeling good and it’s great to be down here in spring training,” Killebrew said. “I’ve got a great team of doctors, and I couldn’t be happier right now with the way things have progressed.”
Killebrew is also especially thankful and humbled due to the tremendous outpouring of support he has received over the past several months:
“When you go through something like this, you’re not really sure what to expect, and I think that the thing that’s really been an impact on me has been how many people have reached out to me,” he said. “I want to thank all those people that sent cards and e-mails and all the well wishes and prayers have just been overwhelming and really, really been helpful. I know how much that helps, and it’s really helped me a lot.”
It goes without saying that “Killer” is a class act and the fact that he is still loved and revered by not only Twins fans, but Twins players as well, not to mention the entire MLB community, speaks volumes about the virtue and class of the great man, and to have been forced to watch cheats like Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa (and in a way, Alex Rodriguez) pass him on the all-time home runs list over the past several years should make any baseball fan who respects the integrity and tradition of Major League Baseball want to spit.
No matter the situation, when prevailing opinions of those around them are completely against a person’s decision, they will often seek out anyone who will voice their support for the course of action they are taking. This is true in both personal or professional matters. So I am certain Tiki Barber is absolutely thrilled that none other than recently convicted sex offender Lawrence Taylor has come out publicly to endorse Barber’s futile – in my opinion (and many others) – effort to attempt to stage a comeback and resume playing in the NFL. Yay.
“Great move, as soon as I heard it I said, ‘That’s a great move,’ ” Taylor said. “When I thought about it 20 years ago I had let myself go, but I’ve seen Tiki a bunch of times over the years and he’s really taken care of himself. He’s got to prove himself, but I know he’ll work his butt off to do it.”
Yeah, if there’s one person who knows how there is a world of difference between “a great move” and “a completely moronic move fraught with the risk of terrible repercussions ,” you can bet your ass it’s Lawrence Taylor. At least as it pertains to activities which could potentially cause a person to be forced to register as a sex offender. On second thought, maybe LT’s opinion isn’t that worthwhile. At the same time, it could be argued that knowing what potentially might be a great move and then actually following through on that instinct are two entirely different things. Huh. Either way, my guess is Tiki will take any modicum of public support he can get right about now.
LT believes in Tiki’s comeback [New York Post]
One would think in this day and age, with all the advancements in modern medicine, that people would recognize that catching an STD doesn’t necessarily mean you have to live with the symptoms. Especially someone as wealthy as Sergio Garcia, who one would imagine has access to only the finest medical treatment.
Buck up, Sergio. Sure, it does probably burn when you pee – you have Chlamydia, for Pete’s sake. Get a couple shots of penicillin and I’m sure you’ll be good to go in no time. Crazy golfers. Although this does explain why Sergio has been sucking balls on the golf course for the past 5 years. Can you imagine what it must be like to have the Clap while no one is clapping for you? It’s one of those conundrum things. Or irony. Or is it a metaphor? Whatever it is, it must be tough. Kind of like trying to write two paragraphs on such an idiotic premise.
Does Sergio Garcia still have the fire? [ESPN]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A neighborhood in Bennington, Vermont is under siege…and the culprit? A “rogue squirrel,” as the AP report humorously refers to the animal. At least three people claim to have been attacked by the horrific beast. The suspicion is that the squirrel was raised by humans and then released into the wild, hence the reason why the bloodthirsty creature is not afraid of humans. Said Veterinarian Robert Johnson: “A tame squirrel is a loose cannon sometimes.” Truer words have never been spoken. Fear the beast, residents of Bennington. Fear it! [msnbc]
• Yes: The Dugout: Minnesota Twins Spring Training 2011 [With Leather]
• Yes, Part II: Photo Story: “The Truce” – Starring Jalen Rose, Grant Hill and Mike Krzyzewski [Midwest Sports Fans]
• If you ever dreamed of owning Scottie Pippen’s Beanie Babies collection, now’s your chance. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Meh: the Sacramento Kings could become the Los Angeles Royals or the Anaheim Royals. What? Not Los Angeles Royals of Anaheim? WTF? [Larry Brown Sports]
• Meh, Part II: Ochocinco trying out for MLS soccer team, Sporting Kansas City. [Ted Williams Head]
• Grant Hill on the Fab Five fiasco: “A sad and somewhat pathetic turn of events.” Did Grant Hill write that Lemony Snicket book, too? [Off the Bench]
• The top 10 takeaways from the Fab Five-Grant Hill war of words. [Five Tool Tool]
• Are we not paying enough attention to Derek Jeter? Guh. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Bill Walton wants you to come and get in the pool. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Where will Jimmer Freddette end up in the NBA? [Rumors & Rants]
• Check out Brad Marchand’s sneaky headshot on R.J. Umberger. [Bob's Blitz]
• DoD continues it’s “Complete Idiot’s Guide to the 2011 NCAA Tournament. [Deuce of Davenport]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Pope To Ease Up On Jesus Talk (Pontiff Trying To Be Not So In-Your-Face With That Stuff)
Erin Andrews appears poised to further explore her role in reality television programming after “joking” about her interest in appearing on ABC’s The Bachelorette during a radio interview on KNBR in San Francisco, Miss Andrews cheekily made a reference to the show, indicating she is kind-of-sort-of-not-really-but-yeah pretty keen on the show.
On what she thought of the Bachelor finale:
“Let’s have a conversation. I e-mailed my publicist in the middle of the show and I was like can you just get me on this thing or what? What are we doing?”
You want to be on the show:
“I’m not saying I want to be on there, but I mean I’m just wondering if I should do it? Should I just do it?”
Whether or not she has actually thought about it?
“I already had it all planned out. My publicist wrote me back right away. I had it all planned out. I don’t like cheesy lines and I don’t like people who are really stupid so I was thinking they could put really nerdy guys on and I could be like are you serious right now with that line. Then my dates wouldn’t be sky-diving or plummeting from buildings. We would go to batting practice and I would see if they could hold their own talking to some of these guys and if they were a total dork it would be like you’re done, you’re out.”
Jeez, ESPN, Good Morning America, Dancing with the Stars, now this? Granted, she appeared to be somewhat joking around, but given that all of her recent career moves have coincidentally fallen under the auspices of the hands pulling the strings behind the curtains at the vast media empire which is the Disney-ABC Television Group, one can only imagine where it could go from here. A guest starring role on Modern Family? Taking over for Diane Sawyer on ABC World News? Her own sitcom? Crap, before you know it, she’ll move on from television and be starring in her own Pixar films. Not that I’m complaining.
Erin Andrews Would Be Great As the Bachelorette [Sports Radio Interviews]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Sixty-eight reasons why the NHL Playoffs are better than March Madness. [Puck Daddy]
• Who’s blacker: Jalen Rose or Grant Hill? [With Leather]
• The best soccer warm-ups you’ll ever see. [The Slanch Report]
• Boy, a misplaced comma in this headline would have made Washington Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau appear to be a raving lunatic. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Wow, this is one killer Albert Pujols mural. At least it appears to be Albert Pujols. Hard to say, really. [Joe Sports Fan]
• The manner in which this guy filled out his NCAA bracket indicates he might be watching a bit too much porn. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Sally Jenkins had some interesting thoughts about the NFL situation in her column in today’s Washington Post. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Spare Tire FAIL animated GIF goodness. [FAIL Blog]
• Heh: Giant douchebag ruins office pool by counting play-in games [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: (video) PSA: Ben Stiller Speaks Out Against Shaken Manchild Syndrome
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