Archive for March, 2011
“DEY TOOK ER DICKSHUNNERRIES!”
Heh. Dimond. That’s freaking gold, man, which is a weird way to describe since diamonds are more valuable than gold. And what about pearls, too? Weird. Something to think about.
In any event, the ability to spell notwithstanding, these Tennessee Volunteers basketball fans have themselves some very strong feelings regarding the ouster of Bruce Pearl as the team’s head coach. So much so, they felt compelled to break out the magic markers so they could deliver a passionate message of support through the magic of the written word. Outstanding.
Quite the handsome family there, but not quite on par with these slack-jawed yokels. But back to the Misspelling Yet Vigilant Bruce Pearl Supporters Family. I wonder if they are related to “Get A Brain Morans” Guy. Ah, who am I kidding? All those lowbred folk are related in some way or another.
Update: SB Nation has the inside scoop on the story behind the photo. Turns out the parents knew the sign contained a misspelled word but the 12-year-old kid thought it would help him get chicks. I don’t know if that makes it more or less comical. Quite the conundrum.
And it was good. During the third overtime of the marathon matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and Phoenix Suns last night, Ron Artest threw down a pretty nice dunk which gave the Lakers a 135-132 lead with less than two minutes remaining. The Lakers held on to win the game by the score of 139-137, Kobe Bryant scored 42 points, but what everybody is talking about today was Artest’s impromptu celebration after his impressive dunk: he flexed and kissed both his biceps. Nice.
But I suppose that’s just Artest Being Artest. And as The Basketball Jones points out, it was only the fourth dunk by Artest all season, so there’s that. I guess a person has to take advantage of rare opportunities whenever they happen to be presented, especially when you’re as crazy – and apparently, love your biceps as much – as one Mr. Ron Artest. Good for him.
[H/T The Basketball Jones]
At long last, Luis Castillo finally reported to the Philadelphia Phillies spring training facility on Tuesday, and while he was only signed to a minor league contract by the team on Monday, the fact that Castillo took his sweet-ass time to arrive – Castillo blamed his late arrival on “a miscommunication” with his agent – certainly rankled the feathers of Phillies brass, in particular manager Charlie Manuel.
Via Philly.com:
“If it was me?” Charlie Manuel said, finally. “I would have been here 2 days ago. But it’s not me.”
Manuel originally had Castillo – who was released by the New York Mets on March 18th – penciled in the lineup for Tuesday’s game against the Toronto Blue Jays, but the second baseman didn’t arrive at the team’s complex until after the squad had left for the 15-minute drive to the Blue Jays’ Dunedin Stadium. Certainly not the way a player who is being given a second chance goes about ingratiating himself to his new teammates and manager, not to mention his new general manager,
Castillo was reportedly in Miami when he was signed by the Phillies, yet it took him 36 hours to make it to Clearwater. Now, I’m no great traveling mind, but my guess is it shouldn’t take quite so long to make it that short of a distance. So the question is: what in the hell was Castillo doing that delayed him to such a degree?
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Or should that read Wile E. Coyote? I guess we’ll never know. Anyhoo, a coyote wandered onto the runway Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, briefly delaying flights out of the world’s busiest airport (I did not know that). I wonder if the coyote ended up on the runway after getting propelled in the wrong direction out of some kind of gigantic rubber band contraption. “Beep Beep!” [Yahoo!]
• If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it 1,000 times: the classic tale of a sportswriter turned pimp. [With Leather]
• The trailer for the new San Francisco Giants reality show is pretty cool. [Larry Brown Sports]
• What will be lost if there is no NFL season? [Outside the Boxscore]
• The NFL has made damn sure you will never see something like what appears in this linked photo. [Shutdown Corner]
• Olivia Munn did a Carl’s Jr. commercial with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. [Busted Coverage]
• This video of the over-celebrating ping pong player has been around awhile, but it never loses its entertaining qualities. [Bob's Blitz]
• Ice Crew Girl Vanessa may cause you to start pulling for the Los Angeles Kings. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The 5 best players in the Sweet Sixteen. [Unathletic]
• What’s this? A “Tuesdays With(out) Morrissey” feature? That’s weird. [Melt Your Face Off]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Realistic Announcer Shouting How Kevin Durant Making His Last 4 Shots Has No Bearing On Whether He Will Make Next Shot
Gold, Jerry. Gold. Well done, gents. Talk about making a blogger’s life easy. Thankee.
[H/T TAUNTR]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Hey, this isn’t how you win a bike race! [With Leather]
• In case you were wondering, Hines Ward danced just about as well as Ralph Macchio on Dancing With The Stars last night. [Shutdown Corner]
• After Tim Duncan got hurt, someone asked Gregg Popovich what he mindset was. He replied, “It’s not flowers and lollipops.” Here are some other things Popovich is not thinking about. [The Basketball Jones]
• Here’s a video of some guy throwing a ball in a hole. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Hindsight fan tweets are fun! [Joe Sports Fan]
• What is inside the Flyers magic Slurpee-like athletic drink? [Puck Daddy]
• KSK contributor Christmas Ape had a hand in writing a comedy sketch featuring a guy who appeared on The Wire. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Jason Kidd’s baby mama Hope Dworaczyk in various stages of undress, anyone? [Busted Coverage]
• Man, Curtis Granderson sure is struggling picking out at-bat music. [Big League Stew]
• So, Charlie Sheen crashed Mark Cuban’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel’s show. [Off the Bench]
• Brian Wilson would like you to know how he looks unshowered and hungover. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Ouch: “Pearl firing leaves Pat Summit without anyone to troll for chicks with” [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Area Man Filled With Sudden Desire To Go Outside And Play Basketball
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Sweet Fancy Moses. Courtesy of Hot Hot Hoops (via Pro Basketball Talk) comes this delightful video which was recorded during something called Family Festival. In it, various players, staff and personnel of the Miami Heat are shown soaking up the sun and having a grand old time while listening to some good time music. Early on, you can see LeBron James playing the skins, but later in the video, you will begin to hear the smooth reggae groove of some unnamed band performing Bob Marley’s “Jamming.” And at about the 2:00 mark, there is a series of moving images you will never be able to unsee: Pat Riley, um, “dancing.” I hate to say it, but that ain’t dancing, Sally. Since we can all agree on that factoid, for the love of rhythm, man, what in the hell was that?
[H/T Hot Hot Hoops (via Pro Basketball Talk)]
Do not adjust your internets: you read that right. And no, you did not accidentally slip and fall headfirst into some kind of space-time continuum wormhole or anything. It’s still 2011 and not 1990, and for some reason known only to the organizers of the event, late ’80s/early ’90s pop culture retreads Christian Slater and Richard Marx have been given top billing at Sunday’s NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Auto Club 400 at fittingly, the Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, California. Who are the ad wizards…
Via Sporting News:
Slater, the star of the upcoming Fox comedy “Breaking In,” will serve as the Auto Club 400’s grand marshal. Slater will give the command, “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
Marx, a singer-songwriter who has 13 No. 1 hits to his repertroire, will perform the National Anthem before the start of the race.
You know, when I first read the headline, I had the initial instinct to not click through and read the story. Why? Because now I have Richard Marx on the brain, which I don’t have to tell you, is not a good thing. I guess I should’ve known better…
And Christian Slater? What the heck? I could be wrong, but didn’t his star power expiration date reach its end point some time shortly after Very Bad Things? Nevertheless, we had some good times, didn’t we? We’ll always have Pump Up The Volume, Heathers and (sigh, getting a lump in my throat) Untamed Heart.
HE TOLD MARISA TOMEI’S CHARACTER HE HAD A BABOON HEART BUT IN REALITY HE JUST HAD A HEART DEFECT!! (sobs)
Christian Slater, Richard Marx to make appearances at Sunday’s Cup race [Sporting News]
Man, the sun is like, bright and stuff. And hot. Who knew? Apparently, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick did, as he had the foresight to have a prisoner hold an umbrella to shield him from the sun’s damaging ultraviolet rays during a visit to a Tampa area prison last Saturday. Stupid global warming.
Vick, along with Tony Dungy and some 35 volunteers from Abe Brown Ministries visited and spoke to about 1,000 inmates at the Avon Park Correctional Institution about his incarceration. So, how did it go? Glad you asked.
Via CSN Philly:
“It was very humbling and at the same time, a bit overwhelming. You really didn’t know what to expect,” Vick said. “Hopefully I can be an example to somebody. The thing that I was trying to get across is that we all can be instruments of change. That’s something that I’ve been proactive about since I stepped out of prison and I’m enjoying every minute of it.”
Right on. But that blasted sun, right? I suppose that’s why we have an Inmate Umbrella Holder Guy, for situations just like this one. And for more photos from Michael Vick’s Sun-drenched return to prison, Sports Illustrated has a nifty little photo gallery. Enjoy, but you might want to put on some sunscreen first.
Vick visits prison, vows to continue outreach [CSN Philly (via The700Level)]
In case you haven’t heard, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick skipped out of the mandatory media breakfast at the NFL League Meetings this morning. Bad Bill was the only head coach who was a no-show at the 75-minute event at the Roosevelt Hotel. And now, courtesy of the Boston Herald, we have the photographic evidence to support these troubling reports.
The nerve of that guy. The arrogance. The gumption. The (insert additional word illustrating Belichick’s Belichickian tendencies here), or better yet, let us read CBS Sports’ Pete Prisco’s indignant commentary on the topic:
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick basically stuck out his middle finger to the other 31 coaches in the NFL Tuesday.
How else can you explain his not attending a supposedly mandatory media breakfast here at the NFL league meetings?
The other 31 coaches all showed up, some probably a bit reluctantly, but not Belichick.
And word is the league will do nothing about it.
He’s bigger than the game. Didn’t you know? There is no arguing that Belichick is a great coach. But does that mean he gets to adhere to his own rules?
I can tell you this: Several coaches were more than aware that he wasn’t there and weren’t thrilled that they had to be and he wasn’t there.
I just hope one of them has the guts to call him out on it. Rib him about it.
Grr. Do you hear that Coach Belichick? You’re a bad, bad man. (waves finger) Very bad! And take a good look at that photo up there: documentary evidence of Belichick’s uneaten breakfast: the wasted food! Simply shameful. Although I bet Rex Ryan swooped on in after the photo was taken and scooped up the unsupervised breakfast grub. Because that’s how he rolls.
Random picture of the day: Patriots coach Bill Belichick skips coaches breakfast [Boston Herald]
Belichick The Arrogant [CBS Sports]
This has been around for a few days (the photo was uploaded via Twitter last Friday), but what Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe’s “drawering” explaining the NFL labor situation lacks in artistic sophistication, it more than makes up for with a clear and concise message. And that message is: Chris Kluwe is a better punter than political cartoonist. Oh, and some other stuff about NFL players not being unreasonable and that Roger Goodell has a ginormous head and uttered a phrase akin to “Release the Krakken!” when the NFL made the move to lock players out.
This isn’t the first time Kluwe has taken to a whiteboard, armed only with some black markers and his wry wit, and issued editorial statements. Who can forget his commentary from last October when he blasted the video the NFL sent out to teams detailing what is and is not an illegal hit.
You know, maybe this Kluwe fellow has a future in whiteboard presentations. I mean, he’s no UPS Whiteboard Douche, but few are. Few are. And here you thought you had seen the last of that guy, huh?
[H/T KFAN]
In perhaps the first time in sports broadcasting history, an analyst’s man-crush has been perfectly captured with a lovelorn look and some strategically placed animated hearts. Such was the case during Sunday’s coverage of the NCAA Tournament when the wisenheimers in production decided to finally show just how much Seth Davis loves BYU Courgars superstar Jimmer Fredette. How romantical.
But Davis isn’t the only lovestruck analyst dealing with Jimmersteria – it’s afflicting nearly every Tom, Dick and Raftery covering the Tourney. And one can only imagine the passion which may be elicited out of Davis once he learns that Fredette is the newly crowned Sporting News’ 2011 College Basketball Player of the Year. Davis might need access to a private office and a box of tissues upon learning about that bit of news, which is pretty gross. But true.
[H/T The Dagger]
Heh. Drop log. Really nothing else to add here except at least I now know about the Depuy Hip Implant Seminar, although I wonder how exactly they implant hipness into a person. Is it administered orally, like that pill the dude from The Hangover takes in that movie he stars in with Robert DeNiro? Because that would be pretty cool. Being in a movie with Robert DeNiro.
Two Georgia schools to drop log in deal with FSU [Tampa Bay Online]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Notorious horsefu**er Rodell Vereen, 51, has been released from a South Carolina prison after serving 16 months for buggery and trespassing after a woman caught him having sex with the same horse, not once, but twice. Vereen has been ordered to stay away from his forbidden love, will be on probation for two years and will have to register as a sex offender, which I am sure is a huge relief to horses everywhere. Let’s just hope Vereen isn’t looking to make up for lost time and all the forced sodomy he likely endured in the joint. [azcentral]
• The New York Knicks are doing great. Really, really great. [Rumors & Rants]
• An absolute must-see ending from a Spanish basketball game. [Awful Announcing]
• What a kwinky-dink: after he was suspended, Matt Cooke realized he needs to change. [Puck Daddy]
• Ladies and gentlemen: the box scores from Space Jam. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Isn’t it awesome to have “The Dugout” back? Today: Atlanta Braves spring training 2011. [With Leather]
• Tennessee fans would prefer to keep Bruce Pearl and have the AD sh**canned. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Erin Andrews Twitpic photos, anyone? [Busted Coverage]
• Today’s haiku season preview from the gals profiles the New York Mets. [Babes Love Baseball]
• Christian Laettner emerged from hiding to discuss the Fab Five/Duke rivalry. [Off the Bench]
• Soccer player delivers terrific flying knee. [Bob's Blitz]
• Sumo wrestler finishes marathon, doesn’t die immediately afterward. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Big East Losers excuses. [TAUNTR]
• This 12-year-old kid could so beat you in Beer Pong. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Freaking awesome: “Transcript: Inside the “NAPA Know How” Ad Pitch Meeting” [Sports Pickle]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: ‘I Make My Own Hours,’ Says Man About To Get Fired
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Tiger Woods reportedly has a new girlfriend, and boy is she a hottie. [With Leather]
• What in the holy hell has gone wrong with the Knicks? [Ball Don't Lie]
• For starters, Carmelo had to apologize to his teammates and was upstaged by Latrell Sprewell references from the fans. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Dear Lord: a batboy was eaten by the Myrtle Beach Pelicans mascot. [Bob's Blitz ]
• Peter King is apparently very happy for gentrified portions of New Orleans. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Just so you know, this is what a successful NCAA Tourney bracket looks like. [Off the Bench]
• Oh, and in case you were wondering, God’s bracket is doing just fine. [TAUNTR]
• Here’s Kentucky’s Josh Harrellson pulling off the “dazed Rocky look” to perfection. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Here are five things the Mets could have bought with the money they pissed away on the contracts of Luis Castillo and Oliver Perez. [Ted Williams Head]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Penguins Coach Assures Everyone That Dazed, Vomiting Sidney Crosby Is Progressing Nicely
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
