Stop the presses! In what should hardly come as a surprise given the sometimes unfair reputation bestowed upon them, fans of Philadelphia Eagles and Philadelphia Phillies take the top two spots, respectively, of GQ‘s “Worst Sports Fans In America” list.
An excerpt detailing the reason behind the mag’s not-so-shocking conclusion:
Over the years, Philadelphia fans have booed Santa Claus, their own star players, and most absurdly, the recipient of America’s very first hand transplant, whose crime was dribbling in a ceremonial first pitch—thrown with his freshly transplanted hand. Boooo! Admittedly, there are some things fans have cheered. Like Michael Irvin’s career-ending neck injury and a fan being tased on the outfield grass. Things reached their nadir last season, when Citizens Bank Park played host to arguably the most heinous incident in the history of sports: A drunken fan intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl. The truth is this: All told, Philadelphia stadiums house the most monstrous collection of humanity outside of the federal penal system.
Ouch. Not mincing words there, are they? And while it’s hard to argue GQ‘s rationale, as alluded to above, oftentimes Philly fans are painted with a broad brush. Further, like all lists, the results should be taken with a grain of salt. With that stated, I certainly hope Philly fans do not assemble into an unruly mob and storm the offices of Gentlemen’s Quarterly armed with pitchforks and torches. After all, they all are degenerate bastards, right? But if they do, esteemed employees of GQ, one piece of advice: Don’t tase them. It will only make them stronger.
The remaining top 10 fanbases from the list of GQ‘s “Worst Sports Fans In America” follow.
10. Louisiana State University Football
9. New York Yankees
Satan’s Chosen Team
8. Duke University Basketball
7. Penn State University Football
6. Boston Red Sox
5. University of Maryland Basketball
4. Oakland Raiders
3. West Virginia University Mountaineers
Now that’s a laundry list documenting the lowest of the low, the absolute worst, the dregs who inhabit the lowest rungs of humanity. The illustrative descriptions really deliver the point home quite effectively. I’m just not sure whether the concise description of Raiders fans (criminals) or of Penn State fans (Urine Tossers) is my favorite. Probably Urine Tossers. There’s something about the idea of a sports fan hurling human waste that really embodies what being among some of the Worst Sports Fans In America is all about.