Archive for March, 2011
Wake (Up Late) N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Connecticut math teacher Robert Wollkind is fighting for his job after he asked an overweight student if he ate his homework. Wollkind blamed the somewhat humorous yet awful comment on his Asperger’s Syndrome, which he says makes social interactions awkward for him. He also once told a student that he hated him, once again because of the Asperger’s. While he might be fired because of his latest zinger, over 1,000 parents who live in the school district have signed a petition supporting him. Ha. Did he eat his homework. That’s coldblooded, man. [azcentral]
• CBS is bringing back Luther Vandross’ version of “One Shining Moment.” [Awful Announcing]
• An edition of “The Dugout” featuring David Eckstein? Yes, please. [With Leather]
• Here’s video of John Wall punching Zydrunas Ilgauskas. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• A former referee attacked Dominique Wilkins during an Atlanta Hawks game. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Barry Zito escaped serious injury after he was involved in a traffic accident. [Big League Stew]
• The Pro Gay Wrestling Federation would like a WWE announcer fired because he made a homophobic slur. Wait. What? [Off the Bench]
• Video of a very mean person delivering a nut shot to his unsuspecting buddy via a champagne cork. [Bob's Blitz]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Continued Existence Of Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism
Note: it’ll be a quiet day here at the Sportress, so you’re going to have to amuse yourselves today. Be good.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Could Jim Tressel’s reign of terror in Columbus be nearing its end? [With Leather]
• One of the best MMA weigh-in photos you will ever see. [SB Nation]
• Want to get a prom date? How about this for a plan (given you are of high school age, of course): have Boston Bruins fans ask the gal for you. [Puck Daddy]
• The Cavs announcer referred to Chris Bosh as a RuPaul lookalike. Oooh, burn. [Off the Bench]
• A sexy Indian model will pose nude if India wins the cricket World Cup. [Ted Williams Head]
• The Gods of Augusta National have ordered from on high: Thou Shalt Not Twitter! [Pro Golf Talk]
• Some guy wants the Dodgers to be renamed WHAT? [Big League Stew]
• That Division III YouTube sensation has earned a spot in the NCAA dunk contest. [The Dagger]
• More awesome Dissing Dick Vitale College Basketball Posters, baby! [TAUNTR]
• Killer monster truck backflip, dude! [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: American Media Reports News Other Than Zoo’s Escaped Cobra As If Anything Else Really Matters
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
When Roger Clemens, the former pitching great/suspected performance-enhancing drug user/habitual froster of tips/seducer of underage country music singers-turned train wrecks isn’t “looking forward” to his day in court, he occasionally enjoys spending some of his time serving as a caddie at pro-am golf tournaments. Or at least that was what he was up to when he served as the caddie for PGA player Ryan Palmer during the pro-am event leading up to the Houston Open.
Clemens took part in the festivities as a part of the Caddy For A Cure program, so we have to give at least a modicum of credit for doing so, although according to reports, it appears the seven-time Cy Young Award winner is as adept at serving as a caddie as he is in making a believable statement to a grand jury. As in, not very good.
Via Yahoo!:
Palmer chuckled, noting that, according to his PGA TOUR caddie James Edmonson, Clemens pulled the wrong club three times and didn’t wash the ball and … well, you get the idea.
“We played together at the (Bob) Hope,” Palmer said. “He’s a fun guy to be around. But we did have to give him a hard time.”
Yeah, Palmer can yuck it up now, but he should consider himself very lucky he didn’t end up on the receiving end of a retaliatory throw from Clemens when he flipped back a club to his caddie. Palmer could have just as easily ended up with a 9-iron whacking him upside the head as opposed to a funny little anecdote regarding the caddying inadequacies of a reputed PED user.
Tour Report: Roger Clemens on the bag this week [Yahoo!]
Corny, get it? Ah, what do you expect from me? The Minnesota Timberwolves are my local NBA club. Simply embarrassing.
You know, things were so much better when Pooh Richardson was around and still playing for the team…
Heh. Pooh. Now that’s corny. Almost as corny as if you take the Timberwolves up on their super awesome free tickets offer. But that’s a different story altogether.
[H/T Cannishoopus' Twitter account (via Ball Don't Lie)]
Pictured above is Igor Walilko, a 13-year-old kart racer, who is wildly popular in his homeland of Poland. He is also, according to the FIA, the governing body for the organization he races in, a certified drug cheat. When Walilko was 12-years-old, in July of 2010, he allegedly failed a drug test administered after a race in Germany. The results of the test indicated that Walilko tested positive for the banned stimulant nikethamide and a 2-year suspension was handed down, a decision Walilko is currently in the process of appealing in front of the Court of Arbitration for Sport.
Jeez, kids these days. Getting all mixed up in a bunch of crazy hijinks. All I know is at that age, I certainly wasn’t…
(thinking)
Um, enough about me. This is about poor Igor.
This moment of madness brought to you by Muscle Milk®. It’s powerful protein. Drink. Evolve™
As the 2011 NCAA Tournament sadly reaches its glorious conclusion next Monday, when one of two upstart programs (Virginia Commonweath or Butler) faces off against one of the two remaining blue blood programs left in the tournament (Kentucky or Connecticut) for championship glory, we will all be able to fondly look back at this year’s tourney for all the excitement and unpredictability which transpired over the past several weeks.
And years from now, we will also likely look back at some of the monumental upsets which have occurred perhaps as fondly as we do now when we reminisce about the 1998 first round matchup between 13-seed Valparaiso and 4-seed Mississippi in the Midwest Regional, when Valpo shocked the college basketball world not only with the fact they upset the Ole Miss Rebels by a score of 70-69, but also in the miraculous fashion in which the Crusaders accomplished the remarkable feat.
Just when you thought the New York Mets couldn’t hamfistedly botch up the organization’s already rapidly deteriorating reputation as a first-class MLB outfit any further, they go ahead and pull a stunt like this: and totally disgrace themselves! According to a report from ESPN New York’s Adam Rubin, the Mets organization released farmhand Emmanuel Garcia on Wednesday morning. Garcia, who just surpassed the six-month mark of being cancer free after receiving treatment for testicular cancer, most recently played for the Buffalo Bison, the Mets’ Triple-A affiliate.
Garcia originally discovered he had cancer after he was suspended by Major League Baseball for 50 games in June of 2010 for perceived elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin discovered during a drug test. The discovery ended up being a blessing in disguise as subsequent tests determined that Garcia had not been using hCG as originally suspected, but instead had a cancerous growth, known as seminoma, forming in his right testicle.
An excellent story detailing Garcia’s entire harrowing ordeal can be found here, but while doing so, take a moment to be disgusted by the reprehensible behavior exhibited by the New York Mets when they cut this guy. He’s been cancer-free for only six freaking months, for crying out loud. Of course, as sometimes is the case with stories like these, there very well could be more to the story and details we are not privy to at this moment that will surface in the coming days, nor I am suggesting that the Mets should have held on to Garcia indefinitely, but for an organization in the sad state the Mets currently finds itself in, an additional public relations disaster – something that is sure to arise as a result of this questionable move – is the absolute last thing the team needs. What a bunch of woodheads.
Mets release cancer-survivor Garcia [ESPN New York]
Dallas Mavericks backup point guard J.J. Barrea has managed to put himself in a place where he can now breathe the rarefied air usually inhaled solely by Marko Jaric as he has become the latest average-looking NBA player to figure out a way to land a gorgeous gal which in all respects, should be well out of his league.
But giving hope to regular guys the world over – well, regular guys who make millions of dollars while carving out a marginal career playing in the NBA – Barrea showed up at teammate Jason Kidd’s charity casino gala last week escorted by Zuleyka Rivera, a fellow Puerto Rico native like Barrea who just so happens to also hold the title of Miss Universe 2006.
Allow me to take a moment for those who are unfamiliar with exactly who J.J. Barrea is and link to a photo of the overachieving ladykiller. Yep.
Now, Barrea is by no means some kind of ghastly beast with the capacity to frighten children and clergy members with one look, nevertheless, one feels compelled to assume that Barrea must some accomplished Lothario with unparalleled seduction techniques. Let’s take a look at how he landed the lovely Rivera (via ESPN Dallas):
Barea had met Rivera briefly at a few celebrity events in Puerto Rico. So when he heard that she had broken off a long-term relationship a little while back, Barea figured it was time to stop dribbling and make a pass.
How does one go about contacting Miss Universe?
“Text message,” said Barea, who did his own reconnaissance work to obtain her phone number. “I sent her a message to say hi, something simple like hope you’re doing good.”
Wow. Talk about Smooth Talker, Betty Crocker. That’s some major courtship skills on display right there. It’s hardly fair: money, fame and the ability to send lame text messages. That’s a triple threat, kids.
J.J. Barea dating Miss Universe 2006 [ESPN Dallas]
I kid, I kid! We all love Hannah Storm. It’s impossible not to, right? Man, I have to stop seeking headline-writing advice from Tony Kornheiser.
All that aside, word on the street is that Josh Elliott has successfully parlayed his live weekday SportsCenter co-anchoring gig into a network job reading the news on Good Morning America, providing us with yet another instance of the interbreeding that all-too-frequently occurs within the walls the incestuous cabal known as the Disney-ABC Television Group. But good for Josh, I guess. Elliott quickly rose through the ranks at The World Wide Leader In Sports, turning a role as a panelist on Around the Horn into a prime slot on the network’s flagship program. And now, the big time. Good Freaking Morning America. Only in, um, America. Good morning.
Via Sports Media Watch:
According to multiple reports, Elliott will replace Juju Chang as the newsreader on Good Morning America. Elliott has already filled in for Chang this week.
ABC News has not officially announced Elliott’s hiring. However, ABC News president Ben Sherwood indicated in an e-mail to staff that he would share news on Chang’s vacant position “[i]n the coming days.”
I guess all there is to do is congratulate Elliott and wish him continued success in his career, although I am somewhat concerned how Miss Hannah Storm will take the news when she finds out she has been unceremoniously dumped by her on-air partner. They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and one can only guess at in what way Storm’s feelings of betrayal will manifest themselves in her behavior, but my guess is it will somehow involve hooker boots. So in some ways, everybody wins. Especially Tony Kornheiser.
ESPN’s Josh Elliott Reportedly Joining Good Morning America [Sports Media Watch]
Twenty-five million smackeroos? That’s a bit steep, even for Privacy, (in my best Robin Leach voice) Tiger Woods’ lavish megayacht which has all the amenities, style and panache as a luxury five-star hotel, only on the water. You can check out a profile of the Privacy here if you’re in the market for a megayacht. I know I am.
According to a source as reported by The Palm Beach Post on Tuesday, Woods has elected to part ways with the impressive seafaring palace, but those in the know suspect that the asking price might be a tad too high in light of the market for multimillion dollar luxury floating mansions.
Via FOX Sports:
“Privacy” is currently docked at North Palm Beach, and local mega-yacht builder John Staluppi believes Woods’ asking price is too high.
“The market on big yachts has gone down,” said Staluppi. “Banks aren’t financing and the economy is off. It’s a buyer’s market.
“Unless he sells to someone who wants to brag that he’s got Tiger’s yacht, he’ll get about $20 million.”
Woods originally purchased the megayacht for $20 million in 2004 as a wedding present for ex-wife Elin Nordegren, so perhaps it has too many bad memories associated with it for Tiger. But as Staluppi speculates, some high roller might elect to drop $25 million just for the uniqueness of the purchase. But jeez, $20 million is even a bit too high, even for me and my considerable blogging income. I might be interested, but if the price does not drop to around, say, $18 million, I won’t be making an offer.
But man, could you imagine the stories that ship could tell? The parties, the A-listers who hung out on the boat…the whores. I don’t mean to be crass, but in light of all we have learned about Tiger’s once super-secretive private life and his dalliances with harlots the world over, it’s safe to say that there was more “going down” on Privacy than was experienced by the crew of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Report: Tiger selling yacht for $25M [FOX Sports]
Hilariously (and accurately) referred to by Tim Ryan (a/k/a TheSportsHernia) over at The Big Lead as “two of the most hostile slices of Road Beef he’ll ever see,” above is an image of two Cleveland Cavaliers fans letting their feelings towards the Miami Heat and more specifically, LeBron James, by way of sophisticated hand gesturing. Well, perhaps sophisticated isn’t the best way to describe two broads flipping double birds at King James, but you get my point.
And whatever you want to say about their demonstrative middle finger-waving – and might I add the “I Witnessed Nothing” t-shirt is a nice touch - it is possible their actions had at least some minor effect on LeBron and company, as the Cavaliers beat the Heat 102-90.
Finally, to play on the shaky construction of Breakfast Club references in the title – it would have been better if this had been an animated GIF and the gals actually held their middle fingers downwards before, you know, actually turning them up, but you work with what you got – I cannot help myself but to add: “Come on, level with me Sporto: do you slip Bosh the hot beef injection?” Sporto being LeBron in this particular case.
Yeah, I know. Quite the stretch. I’m weak.
[H/T The Big Lead]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Fifty-four-year-old Dallas physician Jeffrey Thompson is facing a felony charge of aggravated assault with a motor vehicle after he attempted to run over a man he allegedly saw smoking a cigarette near his car. The horrible, horrible person who smokes a perfectly legal product, 48-year-old Donald Zuelly reported that Thompson informed him that he couldn’t smoke in the parking garage, ripped the cigarette out of Zuelly’s mouth. When some soda Zuelly was holding spilled on the good doctor’s pants, Thompson hopped into his car and attempted to run him over. Damn smokers. They’re the lowest of the low. Who are they to think that they have the right to not be run down by a psychopathic, self-righteous doctor who wants to run them over with their car after they were caught smoking a perfectly legal product outdoors. Smokers. Aren’t they the worst? [azcentral]
• Rob Parker and Skip Bayless said what about Chad Ochocinco on First Take? [Awful Announcing]
• In case you missed it, LeBron James skipped pregame introductions during the Heat-Cavs game last night. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• The top 10 reasons James skipped pregame introductions. [Five Tool Tool]
• Why Patrick Kane is the next American hockey hero. [Puck Daddy]
• The Babes preview the Cleveland Indians with their customary haiku stylings. [Babes Love Baseball]
• “THE FIESTA BOWL IS AN AWESOME CESSPIT OF CORRUPTION.” Now that’s a compelling headline. [EDSBS]
• Another second day of the work week means another edition of “Tuesdays with Morrissey.” Excellent. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Five celebrity chicks who would make great sideline reporters. [Unathletic]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Report: At Least 14 Different Types Of Animals Crawl On You While You Sleep
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• A professional wrestler made an appearance on The Price is Right? Did he put Drew Carey in the figure-four? Please tell me he did. [With Leather]
• The Preakness, known for the drunken debauchery that occurs in the infield during the race, has a new mascot: Kegasus. And he is awesome. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• A Johnny Unitas tattoo featuring the message, “Throw It In Her Butt”? Interesting. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Sigh. We’re not even to the regular season yet and something has happened to cause people to start bitching about violations of baseball’s unwritten rules. [Big League Stew]
• A cobra at the Bronx Zoo has a Twitter account and it just took a shot at Brett Favre. [Off the Bench]
• The New York Mets are the Rodney Dangerfield of baseball. [Deuce of Davenport]
• A high school hockey brawl mars the Texas title game. [Puck Daddy]
• Another haiku-themed season preview from the gals at BLB. Today: the Detroit Tigers. [Babes Love Baseball]
• Why we’re fools to get worked up about the MVP. [The Basketball Jones]
• Heh: “Locked out Ochocinco finds alternate form of football to fail at” [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: [video] In Focus: Boy’s Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Up to this point, the second coming of LeBron James and the Miami Heat to Cleveland to take on the Cavaliers tonight has failed to generate as much of a buzz as the first time around earlier this season, but finally, we have a juicy story, and believe you me, it is quite the doozy. Quite the doozy indeed.
Ohhhh, how the Cleveland Cavaliers organization has longed for this: a chance to get back at LeBron James for shunning the team. Well, the chance to provide LeBron James with a healthy dose of comeuppance was served up for the team today when James showed up for the Miami Heat’s team shootaround this morning. James, with his entourage in tow, attempted to get not one, but two cars into the underground parking garage, an egregious – egregious! – violation of the rules. LeBron is no longer welcome in the parking garage, you see. Take that!
Courtesy of the intrepid reporting of ESPN.com’s Brian Windhorst:
Cavs officials said James eventually was cleared to enter the building, but several people with him were not. The two cars then left, and James alone returned a short time later and was allowed in, officials said.
Cavs spokesman Tad Carper said visiting NBA players are not normally given private car access to the underground garage, but exceptions are made when requests are made in advance.
James, who regularly used a driver when going to shootarounds when he was a member of the Cavs, did not have permission.
A famous person – probably a celebrity chef, Paula Deen, maybe – once said that “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” and I can think of no better illustration of that philosophy than what happened to LeBron James this morning. It is true, revenge is best after a significant period of time has elapsed. That way, the victim never sees it coming, especially when it involves the embarrassment of refusing access to a bunch of sycophants to an underground parking garage. How sweet it is! BOOYA!
LeBron James delayed by garage rules [ESPN]
You wouldn’t expect it, but Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon loves his wine. I mean he’s downright serious about it.
What’s that? I’m sorry. Is “wino” not the correct term ? You know, for someone who not only loves wine but also possesses tremendous knowledge regarding wines as well? You say we should refer to him as an amateur sommelier of sorts, you say? Whatever, man. That sounds like a made up word if you ask me. I’m sticking with wino.
Anyhoo, when Maddon isn’t answering questions about his star player’s affinity for possessing only the finest and most dangerous of assault rifes, he enjoys dabbling a bit in the many faceted arena of wine tasting – personally, I’ll take a bottle of Boone’s Farm, but I’m a simple-minded fellow. Maddon’s love of wine is so renowned in the Tampa area that he was recently asked by a local newspaper to come up with a list of his favorites, a task he was more than eager to do. And to add a baseball spin to it, Maddon was to come up with his list as if he was preparing a lineup (see Maddon’s list here).
But why the passion? The interest? The, dare I say, obsession? Via Tampa Bay Online:
Ask about his favorite wines and you’re likely to get a rundown on the bottle, the vintage, the vineyard and the grower. When Maddon talks wine, it sounds like a ballclub general manager talking about a prospect or a new free agent he just picked up for the team. He not only buys a bottle, he visits the vineyard. He gets to know the owner. If he’s going to be a fan, he’s going all the way in.
The wine appreciation comes from his decades with the Angels organization in California. During one season, Maddon and pitcher Paul Byrd went on search for the best bottle under $25. Each find was celebrated like a gift on Christmas morning.
Wow. He sure does take this stuff seriously. Who knew winos were able to enjoy the subtler aspects of drinking wine? That’s right. I’m sticking with wino. Deal with it.
Get your wine starting lineup with Joe Maddon’s picks [Tampa Bay Online]
