Archive for February, 2011
What? All I’m saying is if Usher and Slash, who, according to anonymous reports, will join (and outshine, in my opinion) the Black Eyed Peas during Super Bowl XLV’s Super Terrific Happy Super Bowl Halftime Showcase Extravaganza, were to form an R&B/Rock hybrid supergroup, Slusher would be a badass name. What would you call them instead? Ushash? That sounds ridiculous. And yes, the naming of any pairing of two stars has to involve the blending of their names. It’s right there in the Tabloid Handbook.
Anyhoo, this bit of news is coming from a person speaking on the condition of anonymity, so take the news for what it’s worth. For all we know, this could have been put out there as a smokescreen and instead of Slash and Usher, the pairing very well could be two entirely different acts from the world of rock and R&B, say, Buckethead and Ray Parker, Jr. That would be awesome.
Report: Usher, Slash to play Super Bowl [ESPN Dallas]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Color me shocked. According to a study at the University of Texas at Austin, half of the men surveyed would forgive their girlfriend for cheating, just as long as the person they cheated with was also female. My guess is 100% of the men would be more than happy to forgive their girlfriends if they happened to record said cheating and provide boyfriend with a copy. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
• When Isaiah Crowell signed with Georgia, he had a puppy bulldog take part in the announcement. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Ben Roethlisberger was seen partying at a piano bar in Texas. [Busted Coverage]
• Eddie House payed homage to Sam Cassell with a “Big Balls” dance. [The Basketball Jones]
• Brent Johnson and Rick DiPietro took part in the shortest goalie fight ever last night. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Mama Mia! In Italy, there is a Packers and Steelers bar just blocks away from each other. [Off the Bench]
• Chad Ochocinco is not happy with me the Cincinnati Bengals. Shocking. [Rumors & Rants]
• Seven insane people who sold their bodies for Super Bowl tickets. [Ranker]
• Awkward: Rich Rodriguez interviewed Brady Hoke, his successor at Michigan, for CBS Sports. [The Last Angry Fan]
• Given the look on Clay Matthews’ face, Aaron Rodgers must have some stinky gas. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Undecided high school football player Jadaveon Clowney’s highlight video is something else. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• Oh dear, MLB Fashion Faux Pas. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• This Twitter hashtag-powered Terrible Towel will restore your faith in humanity. [With Leather]
• The 13 greatest stadium sex stories. [Ranker]
• Best Pau Gasol/Black Swan movie poster mashup ever. Okay, it’s the only one, but that doesn’t take away from its awesomeness. [The Basketball Jones]
• The 12 most fascinating players of the upcoming NHL stretch run. [Puck Daddy]
• Lil Jon’s Super Bowl XLV party featured two Lingerie Football League hopefuls. [Busted Coverage]
• Former NBA great Clyde Drexler believes there will be an NBA team in London one day. [Ball Don't Lie]
• So, why does this guy want to buy the New Jersey Devils? [Melt Your Face Off]
• Amazing buzzer beaters are that much more entertaining with French announcers. [Off the Bench]
• A poll indicates that Ben Roethlisberger is the most disliked player in the Super Bowl. [Shutdown Corner]
• A swimming video game? Featuring Michael Phelps? On Kinect? Is there a bong round? I love super old bong jokes. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Shawne Merriman won an arm wrestling contest. [Ted Williams Head]
• I could see that: “Top recruit signs letter of intent to sleep with coeds and skip class at USC” [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Reporter For High School Newspaper Most Professional Journalist In Nation
Send tips, links, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Hey kids: tired of getting shoved in your locker or getting swirlies due to your worn-out, tattered and dated Best Damn Sports Show Period apparel? Great news! ESPN Consumer Products, in conjunction with Sportiqe Apparel, which I guess is just a fancy, French way of saying “Sports Apparel,” have launched a brand-spanking-new apparel collection consisting of vintage-looking t-shirts, dubbed “Sports Heaven,” which, according to the press release, “pays homage to ESPN’s original programming line-up and logos.” It’s totally retro, can you dig it?
Via ESPN Media Zone:
The collection blends authentic logos with vintage inspired sports graphics on fashionable apparel for a collection that will convince any fan that they have died and gone to Sports Heaven.
While totally neato, hip and happening, I’m not willing to hop on board just yet and say that by simply paying a steep markup on what I envision is a shirt of average quality that you will feel like you have died and gone to Sports Heaven. Sports Purgatory, perhaps? Possibly. Maybe.
But me being a nattering nabob of negativity certainly is not helping you guys adequately ascertain whether or not you would be willing to plunk down some dough for some of these super cool, styling duds. Allow the press release to further tickle your buying bone:
Featured styles include the World Frisbee and Full Contact Karate Championships and other unique sports including Slo-Pitch Softball, Australian Rules Football and Superstock Saturday along with original ESPN branded logos and styles. The collection will be available starting in February at Bloomingdale’s stores nationwide, and online at SportiqeBoutiqe.com; styles retail for $28.00 and up.
Twenty-eight dollars? For a t-shirt? That’s kooky talk! Although it should be noted that regardless of price, donning these dapper duds will help even the doofiest of geeky dweebs shoot right up the social ladder. I mean, what awkward, gangly teenage boy wouldn’t want to show up for school wearing a shirt that dubs them a “Federated Game Cock Breeder”? The proud wearer of that shirt is just screaming for attention.
ESPN Consumer Products Introduces “Sports Heaven” Apparel Collection [ESPN Media Zone]
Oh blessed day, what a blessed day it is, dear readers. Today, you see, marks the official launch of CharlesBarkley.com, Charles Barkley’s first official, patented foray into the confusing series of tubes we refer to as the interwebs. Outstanding.
While a little rough around the edges – which is to be expected – the site is chock full of Chucktasticness, including, but not limited to movie reviews, called the Round Mound of Review (sample: “Salt: Turrible or Not?” – brilliant), Barkley’s Spanish Word of the Day (today’s entry: “BOTAR EL BALÓN”, which apparently means “to throw away the ball”), Rant & Raves (example: “Why Rims, Why?” as in, why do people put rims on cars?), among many upon many of other features. It’s going to be sweet, and hopefully, incredibly controversial.
Barkley’s video preview of the site follows:
This video of various Green Bay Packers players failing horribly at attempting to mimic the touchdown dance of B.J. Raji, fittingly called “The Raji” (what did you expect, “The Truffle Shuffle”?), the impromptu celebratory sequence of gyrations the portly defensive lineman performed during the NFC Championship Game, is rather unfortunate. I mean, these guys got no skills, man. No, no, that ain’t dancing, Sally.
Perhaps these uncoordinated, footwork-challenged, dancing automatons would have been better served had they reviewed the instructional video, “Teach Me How To Raji” prior to attempting such a complicated dance maneuver. Yeah, probably not. That video ain’t good for anybody, either.
[H/T The Fifth Down]
Caddyshack III, perhaps? Perhaps not, but everybody’s favorite slightly unhinged MLB closer Brian Wilson added another character to his evolving repertoire of misfit personalities by caddying for PGA player Pat Perez during Tuesday’s practice round in advance of the upcoming Waste Management Open at TPC Scottsdale.
According to Wei Under Par, after his brief foray into caddying was finished, Wilson signed autographs and more than likely dazzled onlookers with his unique, devil may care approach to life. Just as we would expect from the guy. In a world of bland athletes providing canned and cliched answers as they meticulously try to refine and manage their public persona, the cult of personality which is Brian Wilson is a rare treat and we should all be thankful for the oddball.
One regret: where was The Machine? I bet he would make one helluva a caddy. A frightening one, to be sure, but when you’re on the course trying to decide between going six or seven iron, who else would you want by your side? Check that. Maybe that’s a stretch, but it would certainly be something.
Giants’ Brian Wilson Caught Breaking Out of Jail… [Wei Under Par]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A Minneapolis woman is facing animal cruelty charges after USPS employees inspected the box after it fell off the counter in the post office. They discovered a four-month old puppy inside a sealed box without any holes in it. The puppy also had no food and water and would have surely died in the unheated, unpressurized cargo hold. Jesus, there are a lot of idiots out there. [azcentral]
• Here’s ESPN’s Michelle Beadle parodying a bunch of iconic Super Bowl commercials. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Urban Meyer is now an ESPN analyst. [With Leather]
• Kevin Kolb still wants out of Philadelphia. [Rumors & Rants]
• Please adjust your volume: Stephen A. Smith is back at ESPN. [Awful Announcing]
• Idiot kicker Mike Vanderjagt admits he’s an idiot kicker. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Yeah, it’s safe to say this guy lost this fight. [Off the Bench]
• Here’s a new trailer for MLB11: The Show. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Idiot Packers fans making idiot YouTube videos. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• What is up with Ben Roethliberger’s beard? [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Kobe Bryant is: The Black Hole. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Paranoid Duck Convinced CIA Killing Off U.S. Bird Population
Polly want a (cheese and) cracker? Polly want a (cheese and) cracker?
So there you have it, folks, a cockatoo who has been trained to sing, “I love the Green Bay Packers.” Now I’ve seen it all.
Side note: the bird’s favorite Packers player of all-time? Beattie Feathers, of course.
[H/T RandBall]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Some drunk guy attacked minor league hockey mascot, Pucky the Whale. [With Leather]
• Cowboy Ugly: Hines Ward gets all gussied up, Texas style. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Holy tight NBA All-Star Game jerseys, Batman! [The Basketball Jones]
• Say what? Cold weather caused the Green Bay Packers to move their practice to indoor high school field. [Off the Bench]
• A delightful little tale of how PD’s Sean Leahy forged a truce with an NHL mascot on All-Star Weekend. [Puck Daddy]
• PGA rookie Brendan Steele says Tiger Woods phoned it in during the final round at Torrey Pines. [Pro Golf Talk]
• A Super Bowl party tent collapsed due to the accumulation of snow and ice, much like the Metrodome a few months ago. [Bob's Blitz]
• Jenny the Elephant has picked the Super Bowl winner. [Ted Williams Head]
• A Chicago Bliss offensive lineman could be MILF of the Year. [Busted Coverage]
• I could see this really happening: “Intoxicated Jeff Reed appears at media day.” [TAUNTR]
• Some final thoughts on the Pro Bowl. [Second-String Fullback]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: I’ve Got You Dumb Motherfu**ers Eating Right Out Of My Hand (By John Lasseter, Chief Creative Officer, Pixar)
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Gotta Support The Team: Minor League Hockey Style.
Above is a photo of Mohegan Sun Arena at Casey Plaza, the home arena of the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Baby Pens, the AHL affiliate of, fittingly, the Pittsburgh Penguins. As you can see, much like the rest of the state, the Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania hockey team has been swept up in Super Bowl Fever. Now, to do something about their name: Baby Pens. How demoralizing must it be to play on a squad with that name? The Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Chilly Willys would be a more intimidating of a moniker. But who am I to judge? My little league baseball team was named the Warm Fuzzys. Explains a lot, I guess.
[H/T P.S.A.M.P.]
(image credit)
Gravity, you have some ‘splainin’ to do! And while you’re at it, explain your basic principles to these two comely Aggie fans. Why yes, that was a rather weak, thinly veiled attempt to incorporate said photo of those two gals into this post. Sue me.
That’s some weird, wild, wacky stuff right there. It was pretty much all the way down through the net. And to think, had this dunk went in, Texas A&M would have only lost to Texas by 18 points. That’s makes for an entirely different ballgame. In a way.
You see, this would never happen in women’s college basketball. Embrace the beauty and purity of the layup, young ones.
[H/T The Dagger]
Ha. One question: was Hines Ward wearing that ridiculous wig when he denied that he and some Pittsburgh Steelers teammates patronized a strip club on Monday night? Because if he did, I’m not sure we should believe him. Like my old man always said: “Never trust a man wearing a wig. Unless it’s one of those wigs worn during colonial times. You can trust a guy wearing one of those with your life.” But then again, my old man claimed he fought in the Revolutionary War, too, so there you go.
Be still, my beating heart. Big news for all you Biebermaniacs out there: according to this press release (via SB Nation), the one, the only, the Effeminate Prince Of Teenybopper Pop, Justin Bieber, will be participating in the 2011 NBA All-Star Celebrity Game. The release, along with a full rundown of announced participants:
What: 2011 BBVA NBA All-Star Celebrity Game
When: Friday, Feb. 18, 7 p.m. ET
Where: Jam Session, Center Court, Los Angeles Convention Center
TV: ESPN
The 2011 BBVA NBA All-Star Celebrity Game is a chance for luminaries from the entertainment world to mix with athletes past and present. The game this year in Los Angeles promises to bring out the biggest and brightest.
This year, comedian Jimmy Kimmel will serve as general manager for one team, with ESPN personality and columnist Bill Simmons heading the other. This year’s celebrity participants include a cast of players from sports, film, TV, and music:
• ESPN Analyst Magic Johnson (NBA legend and Hall of Famer)
• Grammy-nominated artist Justin Bieber (pop artist)
• Scottie Pippen (NBA legend and Hall of Famer)
• Bill Walton (NBA legend and Hall of Famer)
• AC Green (NBA legend)
• B.J. Armstrong (NBA legend)
• Chris Mullin (ESPN Analyst and NBA legend)
• Jalen Rose (ESPN Analyst and NBA legend)
• Jimmy Kimmel (“Jimmy Kimmel Live!”)
• Ty Burrell (“Modern Family”)
• Rob Kardashian (“Keeping Up with the Kardashians”)
• Zach Levi (“Chuck”)
• Jason Alexander (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”)
• Common (Just Wright)
• Bill Simmons (ESPN.com columnist)
Complete rosters, which will also feature current WNBA players, will be announced at a later date.
Bill Simmons AND Justin Bieber will be there? Finally, we’ll be able to answer once and for all which one of these tone-challenged fellas has a higher-pitched voice. Excellent.
I’m digging the fact that Modern Family‘s Ty Burrell will be competing. That guy does a fantastic job on the show and the character Phil Dunphy should be considered a hero to nerdy fathers everywhere. And does that mean that the lovely Sarah Hyland could possibly be be in attendance? Please? Come on, I don’t ask for much.
Stars of all stripes mix it up on court in annual funfest [NBA.com (via SB Nation)]
And that dress is made for drooling. Looking good, Ines Sainz. Looking good. Very professional and serious journalist-like, almost like a real reporter! Except for the fact that Sainz quickly evolves from covering a story to being the story. But let us not quibble over details, those boots are smoking!
(Image above courtesy of Rich Eisen, bottom left via Sean Jensen and bottom right from Albert Breer)
[H/T Pro Football Talk]
