Archive for February, 2011
According to a report from The Detroit News, Dennis Rodman allegedly owes the State of California $42,497 in unpaid taxes, according to a lien filed by the state with the Orange County Register of Deeds. Obviously, trying to dispute a governmental lien can be an uphill battle to say the least, Rodman’s business manager, Peggy King, insists all is not as it appears.
“We just got a refund check from the state for $42,000 or $43,000. If you owed the money, you’d never get a check from them,” King told The News. “They would have taken his money. It’s got to be incorrect.”
Huh. Quite the conundrum. I mean, who are we supposed to believe, an official filing by the State of California, presumably containing documents, evidence, etc. to back up its claims, or Rodman’s business manager? That’s a tough one. All I know is The Worm would be wise to get in contact with Patrick Cox and Tax Masters. They solve your tax problems, you see. And Cox has a brilliantly epic red beard, which never hurts.
Tax Watchdog: Lien says Rodman owes California $42K [The Detroit News]
Take that, San Francisco Giants organization! You guys have been totally burned! Ha! That’s some serious comeuppance, people.
A San Diego sports memorabilia shop has sold three balls autographed by San Diego Padres pitcher Mat Latos for $1,100 that not only featured his signature but also included a little jab at the San Francisco Giants written on them. Latos chose to make the autographed balls unique by making an editorial comment on the baseballs, writing “I hate SF!” on each of them. Burn.
Latos insists it was all in good fun but understands that some people may not appreciate his joke at the expense of the World Series champions (via Yahoo!):
“I did it all in fun,” he said Wednesday. “No disrespect to them. But it’s not going to matter what I say because people are going to take it however they want.”
But hey, it was all for charity, apparently, as half of the proceeds from the sale of the baseballs benefited the Major League Baseball Players Alumni Association. That’s nice and all, but I’m concerned how this might ignite something of a snark war between the organizations. First you have some guy innocently having some fun at a rival’s expense by cracking wise on an autographed ball, the next thing you know, tensions escalate and before you know it, some prankster is leaving a flaming bag of dog poop outside the other team’s clubhouse. I’ve seen it a million times before and it never ends well.
Padres RHP Mat Latos signs balls with ‘I hate SF’ [Yahoo!]
Say "Cheese!"
Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera was arrested and charged with DUI and resisting an officer without violence late Wednesday night in Fort Pierce, Florida, and judging by his whimsical appearance in his mug shot photo, Cabrera couldn’t be happier about the development. Oh, and the AP’s report of Cabrera’s arrest is certainly something as well (via The Washington Post):
Cabrera, 27, was spotted by a deputy in a car that’s engine was smoking alongside a road in Fort Pierce. Inside the vehicle, Cabrera smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and took a swig from a bottle of scotch in front of a deputy, according to St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office said. He refused to cooperate and more deputies were called to the scene.
He was wandering into the road with his hands up before he was handcuffed, the report said. He kept saying, “Do you know who I am, you don’t know anything about my problems,” and cursed at deputies who tried to get him into a patrol car.
“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…” Wow. resisting arrest, busting out the “Do you know who I am” and brazenly taking a nip of booze right in front of a cop? That’s like the trifecta of alcohol-related arrest buffoonery. Cabrera’s defiant (or idiotic) swig of scotch might just be a perfect example of “When keeping it real goes wrong.” But what do I know? What I don’t know, apparently, is anything about Cabrera’s problems, which now have become much more complicated. But hey, at least he’s taking it in stride and putting on a happy face. Gray skies are gonna clear up and so on and so forth.
Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera charged with DUI in Fla. [The Washington Post]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Rachel Stieringer, 19, from Keystone Heights, Florida, was charged with misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia after a photo uploaded to her Facebook page showed her baby holding what appears to be a bong. Despite the photographic evidence, her attorney claims since no bong was ever found, no charges should have been filed: “No bong was ever seized or even seen by law enforcement. . . . No evidence exists that the device was, in fact, a bong.” Ladies and germs, the photo of the bong baby and the mug shot. Yep. That’s a bong alright. Open and shut case. Oh, and did I mention her Facebook handle is “rachelxreefer”? Yeah. [azcentral]
• Some Alabama fan/nutjob poisoned some 130-year-old trees on Auburn’s campus. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Hello!!! Len Lesser, a/k/a Uncle Leo on Seinfeld, has sadly passed away. [Bob's Blitz]
• Awesome video of an Australian sports anchor getting totally burned. [Awful Announcing]
• Bikini photos of South Alabama cheerleading triplets? Yes, please. [Frathouse Sports]
• Cam Newton might be heading to the Buffalo Bills? Poor bastard. [Rumors & Rants]
• Doggone it! Michael Vick has canceled his appearance on Oprah. [Off the Bench]
• Ozzie Guillen will kill you. [Foul Balls]
• Do not mention Dan Snyder on Tony Kornheiser’s radio show. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• Is ESPN’s John Anderson shrinking? [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• JJ Reddick’s ankles have been broken once again. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Ron Artest tweets about his call from Jesus. [Tirico Suave]
• Check out the promotional materials for some of the lesser known NBA All-Star Game parties. [TAUNTR]
• The guys at KSK check out the Bud Light Bottoms Up beer dispenser. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• 40-foot dive into a baby pool? Sure, why not? [Deuce of Davenport]
• Taking a look at the best hairdos in college basketball. [Ballin' is a Habit]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Husband Buys Car Based On Lowest Passenger-Side Impact Rating
Needs more Spud Webb. Toronto Raptors guard DeMar DeRozan was named an injury replacement in the 2011 NBA All-Star Game Slam Dunk Contest for Bucks guard Brandon Jennings last month, and by the looks of it, he’s seizing the opportunity and taking it very, very seriously. I have no idea what DeRozan is cooking up in the above photo, but it looks, um, kind of dangerous. Potentially maiming, even. What’s the deal with guy in the yellow gorilla chicken suit on the ladder? Why is there a drum laying there? How will a percussion instrument play into the performance?
So many questions. It almost makes me want to tune in to NBA All-Star Weekend to see what amazing, death-defying dunk DeRozan will attempt. I said almost.
(Yawn) And do you know what? Not having to act like I even have a halfhearted, remote, passing interest in cycling anymore feels…great. Quite liberating, really.
Said the pedaling prima donna in a statement (via Reuters):
“Today, I am announcing my retirement from professional cycling in order to devote myself full-time to my family, to the fight against cancer and to leading the foundation I established before I won my first Tour de France.”
So there you have it. Armstrong retired. Again. Color me totally unimpressed and completely uninterested. In fact, I can barely conjure up faux shock, dismay or sadness, and I am a master of artificially enhanced outbursts of emotion…
HEY! I ASKED FOR CREAM, NOT HALF & HALF, IDIOT DENNY’S WAITRESS!!!
(throws coffee cup, starts sobbing)
See? It’s a gift. And I got a free Moons Over My-Hammy to boot. It’s a good deal. Oh, and best of luck to Lance Armstrong in all his future endeavors or whatever.
Armstrong confirms retirement [Reuters]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Sometimes, these little odd news nuggets I use to start off the day require little embellishment to make them amusing. This is one of those occasions. Neil Lansing, 33, has been charged with drug possession after authorities discovered 30 items inside his anus. The laundry list of contraband: 17 blue pills, a cigarette, a coupon, six matches, a flint, a syringe, some lip balm, an unused condom and a receipt from CVS. Wow. [msnbc]
• Just so you know, Donald Trump will never own the Mets. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Michelle Wie is an aspiring journalist. Also: very pretty. [Waggle Room]
• Boy, that Dana White sure is a good sport. [Deuce of Davenport]
• HHR lands an interview with MLB 11 The Show cover boy Joe Mauer. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• The NFL has increased its offer to the displaced refugees of Super Bowl XLV. Let’s have a telethon and be done with this crap. [Shutdown Corner]
• It’s pretty apparent nobody liked ESPN’s sky cam coverage of college basketball. [Awful Announcing]
• Ron Artest is a big fan of teammate Lamar Odom’s unisex fragrance. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• No Twitter during the Cricket World Cup? That’s like, censorship, man. [Off the Bench]
• Syracuse men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim is a crybaby. [Rumors & Rants]
• Little kid is not pleased that Michael Young might get traded. [Unathletic]
• Dustin Byfuglien got paid, y’all. [Puck Daddy]
• Ever heard of Beaver Nut Scrub? Find out what exactly this hilariously named product is. [Busted Coverage]
• Headline: “Brewers racing sausages report to camp in best shape of their life” I can see that. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Magazine Announces Plans For Special ‘Sex’ Issue
Site Note: I’ll be in and out of meetings and at appointments outside the office the majority of the day, so content at the Sportress today might be sparse. I know that sucks, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles when you’re fearless sports blog leader is a high-rolling, wheeler and dealer such as myself.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
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• What has been Alexander Ovechkin’s problem this season? [Puck Daddy]
• O.J. Simpson allegedly got his ass whipped by a bunch of white supremacists in prison. [Deuce of Davenport]
• The NFL is selling ponchos now? [With Leather]
• Here’s the straight dope behind UConn QB Johnny McEntee’s trick shot video. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Dear Lord, Colin Cowherd’s new television show sounds like it’s going to be bloody awful. [Deadspin]
• Speaking of Deadspin, the site is being profiled on HBO’s Real Sports. [Awful Announcing]
• Some jagoff insurance company is refusing to pay a contestant in a contest who nailed a $50,000 hockey shot. Oh, and he was going to donate the winnings to charity, too. [Off the Bench]
• TNT posted a job ad on Craigslist where potential hires would get to hang out on the TNT set during its coverage of the NBA All-Star Game. [The Basketball Jones]
• Video of an Islanders fan taunting a Penguins player with the simulated blow job move. [Busted Coverage]
• You’ve seen Wally Szczerbiak’s, now here are some other CBS Sports name fails. [TAUNTR]
• Have no fear Toronto fans, Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke has a master plan. [Melt Your Face Off]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Police Find Adorable Little Skeleton
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Sweet sassy molassey. As mentioned above, UFC Octagon gal Arianny Celeste uploaded some super special shots from a recent photo shoot to her Plixi account as a means to wish all the troglodytic internet horndoggers out there a Happy Valentine’s Day. What a gal.
Miss Celeste’s message:
Happy valentines day to u all! Xo shooting on the beach! 
Ha. The emoticon really makes it feel like a personal message. Thanks, Arianny. I am sure you got a lot of guys through a lonely Valentine’s Day. She is truly doing the Lord’s work.
Speaking of work, in case you are wondering, I do count this post as MMA-related. Further, with today being the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue release date, the troglodytic internet horndoggers I alluded to above are frantically combing the interwebs for pics to satiate their need for slack-jawed ogling. It’s a win-win, really.
And just to be clear, I do not have any obligations to write about MMA, but my goal for the Sportress has always been to make sure it is a well-rounded site. And speaking of well-rounded, here’s a couple more photos from Miss Celeste’s Plixi account.
Yep. Well-rounded. See what I did there? Of course you did.
In one of the more bizarre rumors of recent memory, word on the street – initially loaded into the rumor mill by one of Michael Strahan’s close associates, mind you – has the former New York Giants defensive lineman and current talking head on FOX’s NFL pregame show emerging as a possible replacement for the soon-to-be retired Regis Philbin on the syndicated morning talk show, Live! with Regis & Kelly. What the fungus?
Via Pro Football Talk:
Strahan’s close friend, Rich “Big Daddy” Salgado of Coastal Advisors, posted a message on Twitter over the weekend claiming that Strahan is a candidate. If Strahan truly is a candidate, Salgado would know.
Sure, if Strahan was indeed a candidate, Salgado would know. On the other hand, perhaps this Salgado fellow is simply trying to generate some buzz and by starting the rumor. It’s a classic chicken or the egg dilemma – which came first? The possible candidacy of Strahan as a replacement or Strahan’s associate throwing his buddy’s name out there? Either way, in keeping with the “Chicken or the Egg” scenario, one thing is certain: both could easily fit in between the massive gap between Strahan’s teeth.
One last question: if this rumor does have some level of legitimacy to it, haven’t Live! with Regis & Kelly‘s producers ever seen Strahan’s short-lived sitcom, Brothers? Methinks viewing one episode of that train wreck would put the kibosh on any possibility of Strahan slipping into Philbin’s seat. In the end, I suppose whether or not this actually happens doesn’t really matter. It’s not like Strahan’s presence on the show would cause me watch it any more often than I do right now, which is not at all.
Strahan could be a candidate to replace Regis [Pro Football Talk]
A college basketball game between Bethune-Cookman and Maryland-Eastern Shore was suspended with 16:22 remaining in the second half due to a physical altercation which resulted in the court being cleared. The teams were sent to their respective locker rooms and the referees elected to not continue the game, citing “unsportsmenlike conduct” on both squads. Say, shouldn’t that be unsportswomanlike behavior? You know, in order to be politically correct and stuff? I say if the ladies are going to brawl like the big boys, their aggressive behavior should at the very least be characterized appropriately.
In any event, Bethune-Cookman was leading by a score of 32-21 when play was halted, and in the end, ensuring player safety was the prevailing concern among everyone involved.
Via FOX Sports:
”It’s unfortunate that something like this occurred,” said Bethune-Cookman coach Vanessa Blair in a statement. ”The most important thing now is the safety and welfare of the student-athletes involved.”
Indeed, but the second most important thing? Video. And that’s where this story is seriously lacking: the absence of any visual documentation of the melee. That sucks. But oh well, I guess we will just have to assume said physical altercation involved plenty of hair pulling and scratching and whatnot.
What’s that? The photo? Well, um, that one is on me. My thought is that at least we can dream that a couple of the gals involved rose to the level of aggressive sexiness depicted above. But yes, I do understand that the women who were mixing it up were college basketball players, but here’s the thing: an active imagination can prove to be an invaluable asset when presented with instances such as these. It makes things…nicer.
Women’s game suspended after fight [FOX Sports]
Peter Forsberg And His Epic Comeback Fail
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This series is sponsored by Miller High Life – The Official Beer Of You. Find out how you can get sponsored by Miller High Life.
In case you haven’t heard, Colorado Avalanche center Peter Forsberg has stopped short in his so-called triumphant return to the NHL following his brief “retirement” by hanging up the skates a mere two games into his much ballyhooed comeback attempt. Forsberg announced his retirement formally during a press conference on Monday and to say that things did not go as planned would be a drastic understatement. Far be it from me to criticize an athlete (yeah, right), but allow me to interject here that Forsberg’s actions make him wholly unworthy of being sponsored by Miller High Life. Clearly, Forsberg does not get it, nor do I expect him to pick up on what constitutes being a good guy and doing the right thing anytime soon, although it’s a bit too late now anyway.
Yeah, like I’m not going to upload a photo of the lovely Irina Shayk’s 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover and sit idly by while everyone else rakes in the easy pageviews. That would be kooky.
Do I have anything else to add, you ask. Hell no. Most of you have stopped reading by now anyway. Enjoy. Sure, it’s pandering, but instead of focusing on that, why not simply think of it as a gift from your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger-Man?
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Josue Hernandez knows all there is to know about the Crying Game, at least the gist of what that movie was kind of about, after he bought some drinks for some lovely ladies who happened to be in the same Florida bar he was at. The only problem was these ladies weren’t ladies – they were transvestites, which caused Hernandez to become quite agitated, perhaps even embarrassed for his gender-bending mistake. He began starting fights with other bar patrons, proceeded to smash liquor bottles and was subsequently arrested for disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon, although in Hernandez’s case, the concealed weapon was a small hunting knife, not a…well, you know where I’m going with this. [msnbc]
• In case you missed it, a heckler got into LeBron James’ head. [With Leather]
• Hoo boy, the NFL’s labor negotiations are getting uglier and uglier. [Shutdown Corner]
• Albert Haynesworth has been accused of sexual abuse by a waitress. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Your 2011 SI Swimsuit Edition cover model is Irina Shayk. [Bob's Blitz]
• This Justin Bieber-Mike Gundy ringtone war is getting weird. [Off the Bench]
• The San Diego Chargers are going to franchise Vincent Jackson? [Rumors & Rants]
• Patrick Sharp of the Chicago Blackhawks has been named one of Chicago’s 50 most beautiful people. [Foul Balls]
• Here’s how a Serene Branson – that goofy reporter made famous by her bizarre Grammy’s report – appearance on Around the Horn might go. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: ‘And Now For A Thrilling Tennis Season,’ Nobody In Nation Says
Ha. “Random Dude.” I don’t care if this is a photoshop or not (although it certainly looks real): That. Is. Awesome.
Poor Wally Szczerbiak. You score 43 points in an NCAA Tournament game way back in 1999, have a marginally successful NBA career and still some yahoo in the CBS Sports graphics department can’t take a minute to look up how to spell your goofy ass name on the internets. It’s sad, really.
[H/T Awful Announcing]
