Hey kids: tired of getting shoved in your locker or getting swirlies due to your worn-out, tattered and dated Best Damn Sports Show Period apparel? Great news! ESPN Consumer Products, in conjunction with Sportiqe Apparel, which I guess is just a fancy, French way of saying “Sports Apparel,” have launched a brand-spanking-new apparel collection consisting of vintage-looking t-shirts, dubbed “Sports Heaven,” which, according to the press release, “pays homage to ESPN’s original programming line-up and logos.” It’s totally retro, can you dig it?
Via ESPN Media Zone:
The collection blends authentic logos with vintage inspired sports graphics on fashionable apparel for a collection that will convince any fan that they have died and gone to Sports Heaven.
While totally neato, hip and happening, I’m not willing to hop on board just yet and say that by simply paying a steep markup on what I envision is a shirt of average quality that you will feel like you have died and gone to Sports Heaven. Sports Purgatory, perhaps? Possibly. Maybe.
But me being a nattering nabob of negativity certainly is not helping you guys adequately ascertain whether or not you would be willing to plunk down some dough for some of these super cool, styling duds. Allow the press release to further tickle your buying bone:
Featured styles include the World Frisbee and Full Contact Karate Championships and other unique sports including Slo-Pitch Softball, Australian Rules Football and Superstock Saturday along with original ESPN branded logos and styles. The collection will be available starting in February at Bloomingdale’s stores nationwide, and online at SportiqeBoutiqe.com; styles retail for $28.00 and up.
Twenty-eight dollars? For a t-shirt? That’s kooky talk! Although it should be noted that regardless of price, donning these dapper duds will help even the doofiest of geeky dweebs shoot right up the social ladder. I mean, what awkward, gangly teenage boy wouldn’t want to show up for school wearing a shirt that dubs them a “Federated Game Cock Breeder”? The proud wearer of that shirt is just screaming for attention.
ESPN Consumer Products Introduces “Sports Heaven” Apparel Collection [ESPN Media Zone]