Archive for January, 2011
You would have to have been living underneath a rock – or perhaps more accurately, not been reading anything on the internet today – if you haven’t heard about the Ballad Of John Stone, the beleaguered car salesman who was fired from a Chicago-area car dealership after wearing a Green Bay Packers tie into work on Monday and refused to take it off, even after a direct order to do so by his boss. Stone, who claims he was wearing the tie to honor his recently deceased grandmother, a lifelong Packers fan, didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, that is until the door to his place of employment hit him on the ass on the way out.
Well, as is often the case with here-today, gone-tomorrow internet heroes, the Ballad of John Stone has a happy ending: the sad sack of a car salesman has been offered a new job with a different Chicago-area dealership. Yay!
The man behind the benevolent act of offering employment to Stone – as well as a savvy businessman who swooped in and snatched a can’t-miss opportunity promote for his delearship – is Guy Cesario of Chevrolet of Homewood.
From a Chicago Tribune story (via The Huddle):
“I think it’s ridiculous, and I felt bad for the guy, because he doesn’t deserve not to have a job,” said Cesario, who said he sympathized with Stone because he grew up as a Cubs fan on the South Side. “Good salesmen are so hard to find…. To put somebody’s livelihood in jeopardy because of a tie is just idiotic.”
Well played, Cesario. You come off as a hero and now comes news that there are several Wisconsin residents that are willing to drive down to your dealership to purchase an automobile from your soon-to-be new employee. Couldn’t have played it any better, that’s for sure. Although I am a bit worried about Cesario’s unorthodox management style and whether or not Stone will be able to adapt to it quickly enough. Here’s how Cesario’s last meeting went when he introduced “friendly” competition between the salesmen:
Cesario: We’re adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Chevrolet Equinox. Anybody want to see second prize?
[Holds up prize]
Cesario: Second prize is a Green Bay Packers tie. Third prize is you’re fired.
Ouch. That’s not good for Stone. He already has a Packers tie.
Packers necktie gets car salesman fired [Chicago Tribune (via The Huddle)]
ESPN has released a statement announcing that they have signed Hannah Storm to a multi-year contract extension, meaning that the world will continue to be blessed as we all enjoy her considerable journalistic chops – but even more so (hopefully), her sassy sense of style – for many, many years to come.
Of course, my reference to Tony Kornheiser stems from his controversial and critical comments during his radio program about this time last year regarding the very outfit Hannah wore during a SportsCenter broadcast, an insulting affront to the integrity of ESPN’s Golden Girl which prompted the network to suspend Kornheiser “for some time.” Good times. Catty times.
But that is all ancient, red go-go booted history. I imagine both Kornheiser and Storm have long since moved on from that awkward incident and now is the time to look ahead. I am sure ESPN’s Executive Vice President, Production, Norby (NORBY!) Williamson, agrees with the above sentiment, and here is the statement NOBRY issued regarding the news (via ESPN Media Zone):
“Hannah brings a wealth of experience, hard work and professionalism into every assignment. She will continue to help drive the success of the morning SportsCenter and her added presence will strengthen our big event coverage.”
Oh, I got a big event Hannah can cover…
What? I’m referring to her continued coverage of the Tournament of Roses parade. Gosh, you people with your dirty minds.
Hannah Storm Signs Extension with ESPN [ESPN Media Zone]
While I should be the last person to criticize any other person’s work as it pertains to grammatical and/or typographical errors – I’ve been known to accidentally using “there” when I should have used “their” among other embarrassing transgressions, so I understand how a minor mistake can slip through the cracks, even when one is editing their own work, let alone another person’s efforts in a throwaway article.
I also should admit I have no idea what process is involved when news agencies pick up on an AP story and add it to their site’s content. Despite my ignorance – which is considerable, I might add – I found it somewhat amusing that nearly every site I visited that picked up the AP’s story regarding Minnesota Gophers point guard Al Nolen’s foot injury did not notice the extraneous “s” in Gophers in the headlines. As seen above, the USA Today missed it. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The Seattle Times missed it, too. Fox News? Fair and balanced, as it pertains to editorial oversights? You betcha.
In fact, the only site I found during a brief, rudimentary search that picked up the story but corrected the AP’s glaring error was the Big Ten Network. Good for you, editor of the Big Ten Network site. Here’s a cookie. Not a real one, of course. One of those internet-ey thingamajobbers.
According to statistics provided by NFLShop.com to Sports Biz with Darren Rovell, Troy Polamalu’s jersey was the top-seller among the fairer sex, which once again proves my theory: Ladies love Head & Shoulders. Odd theory, I’ll admit, especially in light of the fact I don’t even have the empirical evidence to back it up. Let us just say it’s a work in process and leave it at that, although my suspicions lead me to lean towards the shampoo’s tingling qualities, though.
The top 10 players in jersey sales to females breaks down as follows (via Sports Biz):
- Troy Polamalu, Steelers
- Peyton Manning, Colts
- Drew Brees, Saints
- Aaron Rodgers, Packers
- Tom Brady, Patriots
- Tim Tebow, Broncos
- Miles Austin, Cowboys
- Eli Manning, Giants
- Tony Romo, Cowboys
- Jason Witten, Cowboys
Not many surprises here. Quarterbacks are well-represented – and it’s not shocking that a Pittsburgh Steelers player tops the list, given that their fanbase is amongst the most passionate as well as most likely to require recurring purchases of the same jersey due to barbecue sauce stains and excessive stretching of said jersey, at least amongst Steelers Nation’s female contingent.
And before we begin to make too many generalizations regarding the motivations behind why women are more likely to purchase one player’s jersey over another player’s, allow me to add that Brett Favre came in at #11. Just saying.
Whose NFL Jersey Scores The Most With Women? [The Sports Biz with Darren Rovell]
Allow me to answer that question: no one. No one, um, not love an animated gif depicting an epic high jump fail. Or something. It’s lunchtime and me need more food to make brain work more better.
[H/T FAIL Blog]
In hindsight, this might be the first Great Towel War in human history, but just because World War I was the first “World War” didn’t make it less ugly, less, um, historical. So there. Moving on, what is transpiring at McArthur Towel and Sports in Baraboo, Wisconsin, is not only tearing a family apart, it might very well rip an entire community into cloth-like shreds. You see, McArthur Towel and Sports has been the official manufacturer of the Terrible Towel for the Pittsburgh Steelers since 1997. Given that the Steelers will be facing the beloved home-state Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XLV, well, I don’t have to tell you how conflicted one Wisconsin community feels right about now.
But before the townspeople put on their cheesehead helmets and arm themselves with pitchforks and torches and march on the McArthur Towel and Sports factory, someone should inform them that despite the company’s business relationship with the Steelers, the President, Gregg McArthur – he spells Gregg with two g’s, like former Packers player and coach Forrest Gregg, so you know he’s down – bleeds green and gold. So much so, that he has been busying himself with creating a new, updated version of the “Titletown USA” towel which the company manufactured specifically for Green Bay’s 1997 run to the Super Bowl.
And believe you me, it does not matter that the company’s coffers overflow with money from Steelers Nation, McArthur’s heart belongs to the Packers (via USA Today):
“I love our Packers,” McArthur said. “We bleed green and gold in Baraboo. Right now we’re working closely with the Packers to put together a product that will basically compete with the Terrible Towel. We’ve got a towel war going here between the Terrible Towel and the Packer towel.”
See? You heard it from the man at the epicenter of the conflict himself: this is war. A towel war. Although unlikely, I hate to admit it, there very well could be blood spilled during this conflict. At least there will be a bunch of towels laying around to mop it all up. I suppose that’s a positive.
Wis. towel makers in Terrible middle of Steelers-Packers tilt [USA Today]
I’m surprised it took this long, but we can all now thank former Green Bay Packers great Greg Koch for his further piling on all things involving the integrity of Jay Cutler and his manhood by throwing out a nifty little tampon reference. Koch, who played for the Packers for nine seasons (1977-1985) and was inducted into the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame in 2010, invoked the tampon when discussing whether Jay Cutler should have continued playing despite his knee injury during an appearance on KILT radio (note to self: do not transpose middle letters in that station’s call letters).
On quarterback play being the difference:
“As I mentioned last week and on Saturday’s show, the factor that was going to come down to that game was the X-factor, the Cutler factor, and man, I just never thought that his tampon would fall out on national TV.”
Yowsers. Koch apparently has no qualms about going below the belt as it pertains to digs implying male menstruation, which I suppose is his right. Whether or not you agree with Koch’s assessment of Cutler and that the Bears QB has periods, you have to give the guy credit for the following zinger:
But going so far as making him the butt of a tampon joke?:
“I told you it’s a no-strings-attached league.”
And boom goes the dynamite! Wow.
Green Bay Packers Hall of Famer Greg Koch Chastises Jay Cutler For Losing His Tampon on National TV [Sports Radio Interviews]
Monsters of Sports Rap: White Guy Edition from JoeSportsFan.com on Vimeo.
An absolute must for awkwardly rapping white folks everywhere. Actually, any person, regardless of race, color or creed, could learn a thing or two from this showcase of white athletes who have no business even saying the word rap, let alone actually rapping. My favorite? Video of Matt Millen crushing on the mic. The horror…the horror…
Win. Well done, Joe Sports Fan. Well done, indeed.
[H/T Joe Sports Fan]
6-6-6 the Number of the Beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released… – Iron Maiden, “The Number of the Beast”
Hoo boy, that’s spooky. Paul Casey, presumably in San Diego for the Farmers Insurance Open at Torrey Pines in Bahrain this week for the Volvo Golf Champions event (thanks, Ryan!), was faced with a satanic experience when checking into his hotel room recently, when he came upon his room number, 666. Talk about a scary (Book of) Revelation!
Let Paul Casey that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six. Chilling. And obviously Casey took the hint, given the caption provided with the photo: “Nice room number I’ve got this week.”
Get that crucifix, Paul. And a couple of Hail Marys might serve him well. Can’t be too careful when confronting pure evil. I am of course referring to the ghastly prices of items in the wet bar.
In what surely will become a viral video hit, here’s 4-year-old “Bears fan” Lauren, who is absolutely devastated that the Chicago Bears lost in the NFC Championship Game to those mean old Green Bay Packers, because, as she sobbingly puts it, she “wanted the Bears to win.” She also adds, “I hate the Packers,” and let’s be honest, can anybody really blame her? This little gal is wise beyond her years, but that is coming from a Vikings fan. Sigh.
By the way, I put “Bears fan” in quotes above because according to her dad (who I am assuming is vlogger jacoblauren), Lauren “paid no attention to the Packers-Bears showdown” and has “shown no interest in football, ever.”
As a parent, allow me to interject that you never quite know what’s going to send a four-year-old into a fit of crying, even if the subject of the child’s despair is something he or she couldn’t care less about. Children are truly mystifying little humans. Just wait until someone tells her about all the bad things the meanies have been saying about Jay Cutler. That, my friends, could turn into an ugly scene.
Video follows.
In what has become an annual tradition this time of year – as well as any other time a division, conference, league champion is crowned – boxes upon boxes of 2011 AFC Champions Gear emblazoned with the New York Jets logo that would have gone unused here in the States will instead be shipped out to regions across the globe to those in desperate need of clothing, regardless of the accuracy of what is printed on it.
Those who will benefit from the NFL’s benevolence this time around – I should note that Chicago Bears Championship gear will also be included – will be the citizens of the countries of Zambia, Romania, Armenia, and Nicaragua, via the charitable organization World Vision.
I am told that in the case of the Jets gear, shirts, hats and towels are among the items which will be delivered to those in need, but one item in particular will not be included in the shipment: 2011 AFC Champion Jets slippers, although I haven’t a clue who snatched all of those up…somebody who likes feet, I guess.
NY Jets Championship Gear — HUGE in Zambia [TMZ]
Courtesy of The Sports Hernia over at The Big Lead, above is a candid photo from the BCS National Championship Game that just surfaced of ESPN’s Sideline Princess, Erin Andrews, holding an imaginary microphone…or something…awkward.
In any event, it’s a hoot and a delightful way to start off a Tuesday morning. Enjoy.
[H/T The Big Lead]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• After Robert McEwen and Oran Turner got into a scuffle at a Fort Myers Beach, Florida restaurant earlier this month, Turner did what any sensible man would do who felt his honor was compromised: he traveled back to his home, grabbed a fork and told his roommate he planned to stab McEwen with it. And that he did. In the eye. That’s forkin’ nuts, man. [msnbc]
• A car salesman in the Chicago area was fired for wearing a Packers tie to work on Monday. [Foul Balls]
• Everybody at a recent Nets game had their eyes on Kim Kardashian’s backside. [The Basketball Jones]
• Chris Pronger is putting the infamous stolen puck from the Stanley Cup up for sale on eBay. [Puck Daddy]
• Ha. Marvin Lewis said Bill Belichick is “too smart” to go after Chad Ochocinco. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Herschel Walker insists he could still play in the NFL. He’s 48. [With Leather]
• This dad looks to be quite the huge Packers fan. [Busted Coverage]
• The most shocking aspect relating to the Bears’ QB carousel on Sunday: Todd Collins is an NFL quarterback. [Rumors & Rants]
• Martin Kaymer has passed Tiger Woods in the Official World Golf Rankings. Woods is now No. 3. [Pro Golf Talk]
• Wow! Things are going to expensive at the Super Bowl. Also: water is wet. [Second-String Fullback]
• Apology cards from Championship Weekend. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Tension In Area Car Pool Rising
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Let the backbiting begin: Santonio Holmes criticizes Brian Schottenheimer for the Jets’ play-calling. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Speaking of the Jets, will LT be back with the team next season? [Rumors & Rants]
• Bengals owner Mike Brown can’t quit Carson Palmer. [Deuce of Davenport]
• LeBron gave Mike Miller the weakest compliment I have ever heard. [The Basketball Jones]
• Charles Woodson talks some smack about Obama being a Bears fan. [Shutdown Corner]
• Awesome: Alfonso Ribeiro does the Carlton Dance at Orlando Magic game. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• The headline writers really “packed” it in this morning about the NFC Championship Game. [Joe Sports Fan]
• Another NHL Guardian to haunt your dreams. [Off the Bench]
• Time for another “Weekend at Bettman’s.” Enjoy. [Melt Your Face Off]
• FOX Sports NFL Theme, choir style. [Bob's Blitz]
• Damn those Jew York Jets for losing to the Steelers. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Brilliant: “Local historians blame Jay Cutler for Great Chicago Fire of 1871″ [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Running Back Finds Self In Alternate Universe After Offensive Line Opens Up Black Hole
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
