Archive for January, 2011
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Say what you want about the ineffectiveness of America’s Drug War, it sure leads to some pretty wacky innovations, like the pot catapult discovered by Border Patrol agents which was being used to launch packages of weed over the Mexican border and into Naco, Arizona, about 80 miles west of Tuscon. Crazy stuff, man. What will they think of next? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a game of Crossbows & Catapults to play. [Yahoo!/AP]
• The governor of Indiana admitted he skipped the State of the Union to watch the Purdue-Ohio State game. [Off the Bench]
• No cheerleaders at the Super Bowl? What the fungus? [Daddy's Sugar Ball]
• While You Weren’t Watching: PBA Tournament of Champions. [Joe Sports Fan]
• I have to agree: the Sports Science piece on whether Devin Hester is faster than a real bear was about the dumbest thing ever. [Awful Announcing]
• Video of a Steelers fan trying to hang a Mark Sanchez dummy off a billboard and burn it in effigy getting busted by the fuzz. [Busted Coverage]
• Hilarious: NHL referee’s voice cracks when making a call. [Ted Williams Head]
• The combination of Caroline Wozniacki and Jimmer Fredette made for a good evening. I’d just take Caroline, but hey, that’s just me. [Rumors & Rants]
• Manny Pacquiao’s popularity is sure to be a boost for CBS-Showtime. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Vernon Gholston is making his case for being the biggest bust for the Jets ever. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• The top 12 reasons Roger Goodell will take a $1 salary if there is a lockout. [Five Tool Tool]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: God Almost Forgot To Kill Dave Elfman Of Boulder, CO Today
Although, Gallagher would have probably opted to use his trusty old Sledge-O-Matic instead of an Adams’ Speedline F11, the club which long-drive champion Jamie Sadlowski uses in the above demonstration which illustrates the devastating effects a golf ball can have on a melon.
(Note: and by the way, yes, the above linked YouTube video of a Gallagher stand-up performance actually did constitute groundbreaking, high concept comedy in the 1980s. No, seriously. I’m pretty sure obscene amounts of cocaine had a lot to do with it. With that in mind, you whippersnappers today better just count your blessings that you have outstanding acts like Dane Cook around these days to amuse and entertain you…)
[H/T Devil Ball Golf]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Not sports-related in the slightest, but I have to agree with PUNTE, I defy you to find a better video. God Bless America. [With Leather]
• Taking a look at the Bud Light “Bottoms Up” beer dispenser. [Busted Coverage]
• On his 50th birthday, here are 50 reasons why the guys at PD love Wayne Gretzky. [Puck Daddy]
• Bonus! A Wayne Gretzky-themed NSFWednesday! [Melt Your Face Off]
• Blake Griffin doesn’t need a friggin’ nickname, dammit. [The Basketball Jones]
• Michigan State and North Carolina are going to play each in basketball next year on an aircraft carrier. Killer. [Deuce of Davenport]
• LOLNFL: Championship Weekend is as funny as you’d expect it to be. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Tractor pulls are awesome, but tractor pulls where a tractor-pulling truck blows up is even awesomer-er. Er. [Bob's Blitz]
• Taking a look at the song titles, it’s safe to say Ron Artest’s Mixtape is going to be the bomb! [TAUNTR]
• If you own a Wii, do not do what this woodhead did. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Matt does some stellar work with an in-depth analysis of the 2011 Puppy Bowl lineup. [Warming Glow]
• Hot Steelers and Packers fans, everyone. [Unathletic]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Report: For 8th Straight Year, Europeans Remain Weirdest-Looking Players In NBA
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Nice. Evidently, in Warhol’s eyes, The Great One is what Andy Gibb might have looked like had he been a hockey player. Shadow Dancing.
A nice article in the Toronto Star today about the day in September 1983 when Wayne Gretzky visited the great artist at his studio, The Factory, in New York. Gretzky arrived late due to a traffic snarl up, but Warhol was nevertheless left charmed by the Gretzky.
Warhol was “not annoyed at all’’ at the tardiness, recalled Frans Wynans, a long-time Canadian art gallery owner who’d commissioned the late pop artist for Gretzky’s portrait.
“Warhol was fantastic, totally delighted, he loved Wayne Gretzky,’’ said Wynans, who was at The Factory with the artist while they waited.
Warhol completed six unique portraits of Gretzky holding a hockey stick, priced at $35,000 (U.S.) in 1984 when they were unveiled. Gretzky was given one of the six — he chose a piece with dramatic orange and blue in it because it resembled Oiler colours.
Four years ago, one of the portraits sold at a Sotheby’s auction for $390,000.
Interesting. I remember hearing something about Warhol painting portraits of Gretzky and ever since then I was certain that not only was Warhol eccentric, the damn guy was off his rocker because I believed these were the Gretzky portraits. Yeah, I don’t get art.
Gretzky looked like this — to Andy Warhol [Toronto Star]
Like I’ve always said, “Any Michelle Beadle news is good enough for me.” Okay, I’ve never said that, but I did once say, “Boy, that Michelle Beadle sure is pretty. I wonder what she thinks of the chances are of a guy like her and a girl like me… ending up together.” Fine, I’ve never said that either, I just needed to incorporate a Dumb & Dumber reference into this post to win at Blogger Bingo. Nevertheless, it is true: Michelle Beadle gnews is good gnews with Gary…Gnu.
(marks ‘Great Space Coaster’ reference box on new Blogger Bingo card -yippee!)Moving on…via ESPN Media Zone:
SportsNation co-host Michelle Beadle will make a guest appearance on Food Network’s Tailgate Warriors series alongside popular host Guy Fieri. The show will premiere Saturday, Jan. 29, at 10 p.m. The culinary battle royale will determine the ultimate tailgate champion. The two top scoring tailgate teams, the Seattle Seahawks’ Team Blue 22 and the Chicago Bears’ Da Bus, faced off at San Francisco’s Candlestick Park in November. Beadle served as a guest judge for the competition.
I guess you could say this is an indication that Miss Beadle is a rising star, but I’m afraid guest judging on a show on Food Network would have to be considered a lateral move at best. All I know is I’ll be watching, and that’s saying something. That Tailgate Warriors show is brutal. And we’re talking Guy Fieri here to boot, who can get to be a little much after awhile. And “after awhile,” I of course mean after four consecutive episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Jesus, I can’t get enough of that show, in spite of Guy Fieri’s presence, especially when I’m hungry. All that greasy deliciousness. If there is one show on that network which validates Jim Gaffigan’s opinion that Food Network is like porn, Triple D most certainly could be the one.
Michelle Beadle Makes Guest Judge Appearance on Food Network’s Tailgate Warriors [ESPN Media Zone]
If the Pittsburgh Steelers thought they would be the only team in Super Bowl XLV to feature a stellar defensive player who possesses flowing tresses of fabulous – yet masculine – hair who has parlayed their scalp into an endorsement deal with a primo hair care product, well, they’ve got another thing coming. Suave has announced that they have signed on golden-locked Green Bay Packers linebacker Clay Matthews to endorse their recently formulated men’s shampoo products. Yeah, that’s right Troy Polamalu, you just got served, good sir. Served with a whole heaping mess of crazy-haired competition in the now heavily-contested men’s hair care market.
Via Sports Biz with Darren Rovell:
Matthews’ marketing agent Ryan Williams of Athletes First told CNBC that it’s a one-year deal that includes media appearances pre- and post Super Bowl and a production day should the company want to film a commercial or additional advertising with him. Terms were not disclosed.
“The idea behind Suave is that men need different products than women,” Williams said. “Clay really wanted to do a deal like this.”
I bet Polamalu is so mad he could spit right about now. Here he thought no fellow NFLer possessed the scalpular fortitude to horn in on the market he self-righteously thought he had cornered. Well, Troy, it’s judgment day, and nobody cares anymore if Head & Shoulders makes your head tingle. Real men use Suave. I guess. Well, if they didn’t before, they sure as heck do now.
Clay Matthews Signs Hair Endorsement Deal With Suave [Sports Biz with Darren Rovell]
Thanks a lot, NFL Pro Bowl organizers. Real good job of waiting until the last minute to announce that not only will ’90s hitmakers/2000′s casino headliners the Goo Goo Dolls be performing at the Pro Bowl in Honolulu this Sunday as part of the pregame festivities, American Idol’s Kris Allen will be performing the National Anthem as well. I mean, that’s what you call a power-packed combo consisting of average musicianship and complete irrelevancy.
The thing is, had I known that these acts were performing, there’s no way on God’s green Earth I would have gone ahead and made different plans. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the Pro Bowl and all, but that paint ain’t going to dry without my constant supervision. Obviously, the mere presence of the Goo Goo Dolls and Kris freaking Allen as part of action certainly would have tipped the scales in the Pro Bowl’s direction. Just thought the Pro Bowl organizers should be made aware of that. You really screwed up, guys. Big time.
Goo Goo Dolls, ‘Idol’ Kris Allen, Anuhea to perform at NFL Pro Bowl [The Canadian Press]
"Lover boy!! You are a lover boy!!"
Dear Lord. Bad Idea Photo Shoot, man. Bad Idea Photo Shoot.
According to a recent write-up in Maxim, Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh is an “Icon.” Funny, I must have missed the memo. Usually, people have to accomplish something of consequence in their chosen field to achieve such status. In fact, he is so much of an icon that he was treated by the Maxim folks like one of their patented, comely cover girls by being treated to his own sexy, yet playful and innocent, photo shoot.
You can see video of the Bad Idea Photo Shoot here, if that’s the kind of thing that floats your boat. Myself? I couldn’t bring myself to watch it, but I imagine it went a little something like this:
Maxim Photographer: No, no. You’re cocky. The camera loves cockiness. Look were not going to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. The key word is tasteful. Now, I want you to relax and have fun because your a fun guy. Alright, let’s do it. Okay come on. Feel the beat. Feel the beat. You know you have a real nice six-inch pool but it’s hard to tell how nice it is…
Chris Bosh: Well do you want me to jump in and splash around?
Maxim Photographer: I don’t know, it’s up to you.
Chris Bosh: Do you think it would be better if I did?
Maxim Photographer : It might be. I mean, whatever you want.
Chris Bosh: Alright!!
Maxim Photographer: That’s it Chris. Come on, come on. Give it to me. Come on, work it. Work it. Yeah, be a man, be a man!
The only thing missing would have been a shirtless pose on a couch. Just saying.
[H/T Ball Don't Lie, screencaps via SB Nation]
That. Is. Awesome.
Who are the marketing wizards who came up with the name of this product? The best part? The Hand Job motto: “Better Than Nothin’.” Ain’t that the truth.
According to Watson Gloves’ site, Hand Job Gloves feature “Split-grain cowhide leather, cotton drill back, foam lining, slip-on style safety cuff and a shirred elastic wrist.” Slip-on style safety cuff is good thing. Prevents slippage.
And ladies, just so you know, lotion is not included. For their dry hands! If you’re out busting your hump and need hand jobs, there is no doubt your man’s hands are probably as dry and cracked as all get out. And frankly, that alone should cause you to be ashamed of yourself, gals.
[H/T (and a courteous bow) Off the Bench & Dave Barry's Blog]
"Oh jeez. Ramen again? Can we at least get some of the shrimp-flavored kind?"
Commissioner Roger Goodell apparently has a lot at stake if the NFL and NFLPA cannot reach an agreement and there is a work stoppage in early March when the current collective bargaining agreement expires: his salary.
According to a letter from Goodell to league owners obtained by NFL.com, Goodell, as well as Chief NFL negotiator Jeff Pash, will have their salaries reduced to $1 if the sides cannot come to terms. Corporate bonuses will also be held back, at least until April. That’s like a whole month, people.
Via The Huddle:
At that time, portions of bonuses will be held in reserve (10% for VPs, 25% for senior VPs, and 35% for executive VPs), and those balances won’t be paid until a new collective bargaining agreement is reached.
Before you cry tears of pity for Roger Goodell and his #1 hatchet man chief negotiator, as they prepare to drastically change their lavish lifestyles and eschew the finer things in life and start taking public transportation and being eating – gulp – generic macaroni and cheese (perish the thought) – bear in mind that while Goodell earned a salary of $2.9 million in 2009 and that would be the sum that would be affected at the reduction of his salary of $1, he also earned bonuses in excess of $6 million, as his total compensation was a whopping $9.76 million.
What is perhaps most telling here, at least according to the facts currently being reported, is that Goodell alluded to only a slight delay in the payment of bonuses with a percentage being held until an agreement is reached, I wouldn’t worry about Goodell or any of the other bigshots at NFL offices brown-bagging it every day. At the same time, if given the chance, I would like to point out to these guys that Buddig meats are vastly underrated. Especially the Oven Roasted Turkey variety. That’s some tasty eating right there.
Roger Goodell to reduce salary to $1 if NFL enters work stoppage [The Huddle]
Who says frivolous lawsuits are relics of a bygone era? Well, as far as I know no one has, really. Lawsuits without merit are as much a part of the American Way as apple pie, baseball and greedy personal injury lawyers willing to take advantage and abuse the vagueness of tort law in order to try and make a quick buck. Now, I’m no lawyer, but if you ask me (which no one ever does), this lawsuit recently filed in Oregon on behalf of 15-year-old Alex Good certainly constitutes an egregious abuse of our country’s judicial system.
Good, a member of the Liberty High golf team, was practicing along with his teammates on the driving range at the Pumpkin Ridge Golf Club in North Plains, Oregon, a town on the outskirts of suburban Portland. It began to rain, so employees of the course put up an awning around the tee boxes to shield the golfers. On the dreaded shot, Good’s ball shot straight up, striking a metal support post for the awning directly above him. The ball ricocheted directly back at him, hitting the teenager straight in his left eye. According to Good’s attorney, Terrance Lee Hogan, the boy has had multiple surgeries and may suffer with vision problems the rest of his life.
Due to this unpredictable sequence of events, Good is now suing Pumpkin Ridge Golf Club for negligence. The award being sought for the injuries he sustained? Three million big ones. Yep.
Granted, they compete in completely different sports and the consequences of continuing on despite an injury are wholly different in scope and potential seriousness, but the fact that Lindsey Vonn has soldiered on and continued racing despite a “possible” sprain of the MCL in her left knee on Saturday – the exact same injury suffered by Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler in the NFC Championship Game on Sunday. In light of this, I suppose one could make the argument that Vonn is tougher – or at the very least possesses a far greater intestinal fortitude and more finely honed and dedicated sense of competitiveness – than Jay Cutler.
Vonn suffered her injury on Saturday while careening down a mountainside at 75 miles per hour when she momentarily lost control, nearly doing the splits.
Via the Star Tribune:
“Honestly, it shocked me quite a bit,” said Vonn, who recovered to finish third. “I was actually pretty scared and thought I was going to T-bone the fence.”
In testament to her toughness and dedication, Vonn raced the next day in a Super-G event, albeit on pain medication. That’s guts. Better yet? She won Sunday’s race. And she’s confident she’s going to win the whole damn thing.
“Don’t count me out. I’ve won this title three times. I have experience,” Vonn said in a teleconference Tuesday after being selected as the U.S. Olympic Committee’s sportswoman of the year for 2010. Vonn and Evan Lysacek were selected as the U.S. Olympic Committee’s sportswoman and sportsman of the year for 2010.
“I’m still very positive and still very much in the hunt.”
As mentioned above, it is risky to compare the two athletes, considering the multitude of factors and differences between the sports these two participate in, but the fact remains: Lindsey Vonn sprained her MCL and continued to compete. Cutler did not. I’m not sure exactly what that says about each of them in the grand scheme of things, but I do know it compels me to admire Lindsey Vonn a lot more than I do Jay Cutler. Plus, she’s much more accomplished in her sport, not to mention a whole lot prettier. Yeah, I went there.
Injured knee won’t stop Vonn [Star Tribune]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• If you were looking for a story about pee that wouldn’t piss you off, urine luck, because this one is amusing. Daniel Pond of North Branford, Connecticut is suing the town because he was fired from his job with the public works department due to his inability to “urinate on demand” for drug tests in 2008 and 2009. The lawsuit cites “documented medical disabilities” as the reason Pond cannot go pee when instructed. And what condition is that? Antiuromysitisis? [msnbc]
• Kim Clijster’s recent dominance illustrates how weak women’s tennis has become. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Parking at the Super Bowl? It’ll cost you. [With Leather]
• Speaking of the Super Bowl, they mayor of Arlington wants you to know that the damn game is not in Dallas! [Off the Bench]
• A struggling Polish soccer team has turned to a former Playboy Playmate for help. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Minnesota Wild goalie Niklas Backstrom made an outstanding save last night, diving across the crease to deny an open net goal. [Puck Daddy]
• Al Davis still has an eye for talent. [Tirico Suave]
• The real reason why the NFL dominates American sport. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Here’s Shaq rocking a Bruins goalie mask, for some reason. [The Basketball Jones]
• Ochocinco sends his regards to SportsCenter via Twitter…kind of. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Hell hath no fury like a “peak performance coach” scorned. [The Last Angry Fan]
• Hey Sean Payton, please shut up. [Second-String Fullback]
• Kevin Love’s girlfriend is attractive. [Ted Williams Head]
• This photo of a little Steelers fan is really something. [Busted Coverage]
• A “Tuesdays with Morrissey” with no Morrissey? Wha? [Melt Your Face Off]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Pro Bowl Charging Up To 700 Dollars For Ad During Unwatchable Football Game
What? No, I see absolutely nothing wrong with honoring the remarkable accomplishments of the talented and lovely Lindsey Vonn – in particular her just being named USOC’s 2010 SportsWoman of the Year for the second consecutive season – by showcasing her forays into swimsuit modeling. Hey, she’s the one who gladly posed for these photos for last year’s SI Swimsuit Issue - and why shouldn’t she happily appear in a swimsuit? She looks outstanding. Further, I don’t come down to your blog and tell you how to go about celebrating great achievements of athletes, so there.
Vonn was understandably thrilled to have such an honor bestowed upon her two years in a row (via The Denver Post):
“I’m really excited to have won this award,” Vonn said in a conference call with Olympics reporters. “It means a lot to me to be recognized by the Olympic committee and by my peers. It’s a very special award. I’m very honored.”
Congratulations, Miss Vonn. Here’s to your continued success. And to further commemorate your achievements, here are some more swimsuit photos:
Oh, and in case you are wondering, figure skater Evan Lysacek won the USOC SportsMan of the Year award. Shockingly, I couldn’t find any photos of him in a swimsuit. Probably because I didn’t look for any. Yeah, I’m the worst.
Lindsey Vonn named USOC’s SportsWoman of the year [The Denver Post]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Chad Ochocinco says he’s changing his name back to Chad Johnson. Whew. [With Leather]
• A person who made a $3 million donation to UConn wants their money back. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The Carolina Panthers are on the clock, folks. [Rumors & Rants]
• A girls high school basketball team beat its opponent by a score of 108-3. It was close at first. [Off the Bench]
• An illustration of the perils of marrying into a reality TV family, courtesy of a quote from Lamar Odom. [The Basketball Jones]
• Check out this kiddie Bruins fan get all pumped up when he appears on the Jumbotron. [Deuce of Davenport]
• KSK gets its Celebrity Super Bowl Pikkake off to a rousing start with Marmalard himself, Phillip Rivers. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Awesome: “Carson Palmer rather retire than play on team led by Carson Palmer” [TAUNTR]
• Just so you know, it is okay to hate those old coots from those “Never Miss A Super Bowl Club” commercials. [Bob's Blitz]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Senators Accuse Thrashers Of Pouring It On After 3-1 Loss
As always, never hesitate to send tips, comments, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
