Get Off My Lane! Octogenarian Has Rolled 2,850 Perfect Games On Wii Bowling

Over the past several years, when he wasn’t watching reruns of Matlock and tying an onion to his belt, John Bates, an 85-year-old retiree from Onalaska, Wisconsin, has mastered the art of Wii Bowling. So much so, in fact, that he has “rolled” 2,850 perfect games since 2008, when he originally caught the Wii disease, which should be pointed out is decidedly different than the Wee Disease, which is an affliction that keeps up many of this old guy’s buddies up at night running to the bathroom.

While it took Bates a year to score his first perfect game on Wii Bowling, it has now become so commonplace that he has become aloof regarding his considerable talents wielding the Wiimote (via the Star Tribune):

“If I get five or six strikes and then a spare, I quit that game,” he said.

Well, that’s certainly not the right attitude, but I suppose when you are 85, you can play hard and fast with the rules of good sportsmanship.

Bates’ remarkable accomplishments have now been documented by Guinness World Records 2011 Gamer’s Edition, fittingly under the category, “Most Perfect Scores Achieved on Wii Sports Bowling.” Makes sense.

One of the skills Bates brought to the virtual lanes which has greatly increased his bowling acumen is his ambidexterity.

“I’m right-handed but can bowl equally well with either hand,” Bates said. “My son got me using two hands under the ball. I got up from 22 percent strikes to nearly 90 percent.”

Being able to use both hands certainly has helped John along the way, not just in bowling, but in many other facets in John’s life. There’s a reason why his buddies refer to him as “Master Bates” and I am afraid that it has nothing to do with his bowling skills, if you catch my drift. That’s gross.

Wii is a perfect fit for octagenarian [Star Tribune]

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1 Comment

  1. Max Power

    January 19, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    The onion on the belt was the style back in nineteen-dickety-two

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