Archive for January, 2011
Confirming every preconceived notion most folks have regarding the jagoff quotient of one Jeremy Piven, the actor was videotaped cracking a joke about his disappointment regarding the matchup between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XLV, referring to QB Ben Roethlisberger as “Ben Rapist-berger.” Ha.
Via the New York Daily News:
Piven was talking sports during some downtime last week at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, when he said the Super Bowl, set for Feb. 6, would have been a better with the New York Jets and his hometown favorites, the Chicago Bears on the field.
“Now its Rapist-berger and the cheese heads,” Piven said, referring to Sunday’s Steelers-Packers matchup.
“The cheesy rape burger,” he then riffed, drawing chuckles from another man in the room.
Cheesy Rape Burger. Good stuff. And how dare he insult the integrity of the cheese heads? Okay, disregard that last statement.
Now, to be fair to Piven, the guy was not aware that an intrepid TMZ cameraman was recording the entire exchange which I am sure Piven intended to be heard solely by the person he was privately chatting with in a social situation. Let me put it this way: if every sarcastic, off-the-cuff comment one of us made to our pals could become fodder for gossip sites we’d probably be caught saying things similar to what Piven said. Perhaps even worse, in my case.
Unfortunately for Piven, due to his history of douchetardery, he is not afforded any leeway as it pertains to his perceived smarminess. Now, for everyone’s benefit, wouldn’t it be nice if Piven jumped into a cage at some zoo so he could “hug it out” with a gorilla? Or whatever the catchphrase is for whatever it is they do on Entourage. Not like I would know. I haven’t seen one second of one episode of that abomination. Why would I?
Jeremy Piven slams upcoming Super Bowl between ‘Rapist-berger and the cheese heads’ [New York Daily News]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• CBS does not care about the NFL’s labor struggles. [With Leather]
• My analysis of Kobe Bryant’s new 3D shoe: very three dimensionally. [The Basketball Jones]
• Confirmation that the NFL is keenly aware that sex sells. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• Drew performs his weekly evisceration of Peter King’s column. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• More on Peter King: he knows exactly what happened with the Jay Cutler situation. Yes, if you read that first sentence out loud, in a way, I called Peter King a moron. [Larry Brown Sports]
• So, Michelle Wie made a hole-in-one yesterday. I bet she did it very sexily. [Pro Golf Talk]
• Alexander Ovechkin’s hardest shot performance over the weekend was a comedy of errors. [Puck Daddy]
• Breaking down what it will cost a team to land Carson Palmer. [Rumors & Rants]
• Yay! It’s Super Bowl prop bet time! [Off the Bench]
• Video of Madison Square Garden guards allegedly beating on St. John’s students. [Bob's Blitz]
• Some pretty hilarious photoshops of the chubby Erin Andrews-loving Kansas fan. [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Massive Snowstorm Leaves Thousands Without Access To Pornography
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Puh-leeze. Hey, citizens of Greene County, Pennsylvania: your county administrators are doing a bang-up job. Seriously. At their agenda meeting on Wednesday, Greene County commissioners will introduce a resolution that if passed, will change the county’s name to “Black & Gold” County for Super Bowl week. Gotta Support The Team: Regional Government Style.
The county which is located in the southwestern corner of the state, apparently have commissioners who believe that the outcome of Super Bowl XLV between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers could possibly be affected by the name of their county. Or at the very least, feel that it would be disrespectful to their beloved Steelers. Or do they?
From the Observer-Reporter (via Shutdown Corner):
“We will become ‘Black and Gold County,’ said commission Chairwoman Pam Snyder, acknowledging the name change is not all that original.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter what we call ourselves. The Steelers are going to win the Super Bowl.”
So, um, if it doesn’t matter, why then are they attempting to pass this resolution again?
Greene County dropping the ‘green’ from its name ahead of Super Bowl [Observer-Reporter (via Shutdown Corner)]
What is this guy: an NBA player committed to getting to (and winning) the NBA Finals or some nattering nabob of narcissism hellbent on hosting an exclusive party in every major metropolitan area in the U.S.? He’s already rocked the town of Los Angeles with his penchant for partying, now it’s time to move on to Orlando.
As you can see, “King James” will be hosting an exclusive party at Orlando’s Tavern On The Lake, “My Way 2011 (Frank Sinatra is spinning in his grave). Supposedly, it will be “The Biggest Party To Ever Hit” said establishment. Wow. Huge party. In an Orlando nightclub. Color me impressed.
For a $15 cover charge, you will kind of sort of but not really be able to attend the same party as LeBron. You might even catch a glimpse of LeBron but if you think you’ll be rubbing elbows with the Überdouche, you most certainly will not be in close enough proximity to LeBron (& Friends!) to do so, as I imagine those guys and their considerable entourage will be cordoned off in some exclusive area where moronic peons, such as those simple-minded souls who would gladly fork over a $15 cover charge just to say they went to a party hosted by LeBron James, will definitely not be admitted.
Moreover, if we’re playing the “NBA Players Hosting Swanky Soirees” card, wouldn’t a party hosted by the Orlando Magic’s Dwight Howard likely be considered “The Biggest Party To Ever Hit Tavern On The Lake”? You know, because Howard is personable, charismatic and well-liked, especially in Orlando? You know, the complete antithesis of King James?
(click to expand)
Don’t believe me? Then how do you explain the above box score from a recent Orlando Magic game regarding Gilbert Arenas being held out? It says it plain as day: “DNP: Left Knee Confusion.” But what is Gilbert’s left knee confused about? That’s the pressing question here. Florida’s gun laws? Why when a doctor bumps it with a hammer it causes a reflex which makes the leg raise? It could be a multitude of things, I suppose.
What’s that? A typographical error? Doubtful. I mean, when is the last time you saw something on the internet that contain misspellings, grammatical and/or typographical errors? As you know, people are pretty darn careful about what they put up on the internet. Further, this is a screencap from ESPN.com, and and it is incredibly rare when they get something wrong.
[H/T Mr. Irrelevant]
+1, dirty hobo man. +1.
Big, big ups to my pals over at Busted Coverage for somehow managing to find this awesome photo featuring a homeless man’s unique way of requesting bus fare. It’s funny because Charlie Sheen might have really asked this bum to stop on by Super Bowl Sunday and take part in snorting copious amounts of cocaine while hanging out with porn stars. But now that Charlie’s in rehab, I’ll guess we’ll never know the truth. But somebody should have the heart to tell this guy about the party’s cancellation. I’m sure he’ll take the news reasonably well. Or maybe he won’t. We are talking about a Charlie Sheen Super Bowl Bash here, people. Lord only knows what would have happened during that cocaine-fueled freak show.
[H/T Busted Coverage]
I know! I’m as blown away by this as you likely are: Joe Namath can actually clearly and soberly remember all the great events which occurred during that magical New York Jets season of 1968 which culminated in the team making good on Broadway Joe’s legend-making Super Bowl guarantee and beating the heavily favored Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III.
Namath reminisced about those good old days in a short piece entitled “I Remember … Joe Namath, Super Bowl III MVP,” published by Sporting News. An excerpt:
I was like a 2-month-old puppy dog back then. You know what a puppy’s like: They don’t know what’s going on, so they want to get into everything. I messed up a few times (off the field), but my teammates knew I was always ready to work. Football was the main focus of my life. I didn’t leave it at the stadium; I ate, slept and drank it, with a little social activity mixed in. After my career, I was reminded time and again how fortunate I was not to start a family until later. I could totally focus on the game.
I’ll always remember two games from that (1968) season. I played like a mutt. We lost at Buffalo (37-35 in Week 3). I threw five interceptions, and three were returned for touchdowns. How often does that happen? Two weeks later, we played at Denver at Shea and I did it again—five interceptions (in a 21-13 loss). I fooled myself into thinking I was ready, and I wasn’t. I learned a big-time lesson and learned to count on my defense. I did that the rest of the season—even in the Super Bowl, when we didn’t throw a pass in the fourth quarter. Didn’t have to.
There was no play to the guarantee. Before the Super Bowl, a big, heavy Colts fan in the back of the room said, “Hey Namath, we’re gonna kick your (expletive),” and I said it. “We’re gonna win the game. I guarantee it.” Having played for great high school, college and pro coaches, I was taught not to be overconfident, but that’s the way I felt. I was trained for that game since I was a young boy. My basic goals were always: 1. Earn a spot on the team; 2. Show them you’re a man; and 3. Win a championship.
Would you look at that? The old guy is as lucid as the day is long. I mean, who woulda thunk it, right? Even in his advancing age, old Joe Namath continues to amaze and surprise.
I Remember … Joe Namath, Super Bowl III MVP [Sporting News]
Scratch that. This interview from the NHL Network’s coverage of All-Star Weekend, which transpired on the red carpet between Atlanta Thrashers defenseman Dustin Byfuglien and Jeremy Roenick alongside Kevin Weekes is beyond awkward. It’s a punch yourself in the gut, cover your eyes and pray-for-it-to-be-mercifully-over level of awkwardness. The word awkward itself is humiliated that it has to be regrettably attached to this level of mind-numbing gracelessness.
To begin with, there are audio problems with Kevin Weekes’ microphone. Second, Roenick gets everything backwards, hammering on the fact that only an idiotic coach would switch Dustin Byfulglien to defense, which is exactly what the Atlanta Thrashers did when Byfuglien arrived with the team via a trade with the Blackhawks, asking the defenseman how he felt about the decision, as if he’s going to rip his new team and coach.
But the icing on the cringe-inducing cake is when Roenick asks Byfuglien to perform a “quick rap,” presumably, inconceivably and embarrassingly due to Roenick’s twisted logic that since Byfuglien’s father is African-American, he must be able to rap. At least that’s what I think we can reasonably surmise from this Roenick’s epic fail of an interview. Wysh over at Puck Daddy reasons that Roenick perhaps suspected that Byfuglien can rap because he now plays in Atlanta. That’s a good one. Well played, Wysh.
To his credit, Byfuglien admirably rolls with it, tries to be a good sport and says, “No. I’m a country boy.” Hoo boy. Jeremy Roenick, dude, that’s just, um, terrible.
[H/T Puck Daddy]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Highway to the Danger Zone? China Central Television (CCTV) has come under fire due to a January 23rd news report on the People’s Liberation Army Air Force training exercise depicting one plane firing a missile at another was actually footage from 1980s action/homoerotic flick Top Gun. Playing with the boys, indeed. [Yahoo!/AFP]
• Just so you know, that guy who dunked himself at the Suns game didn’t mean to dunk himself. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Video: A fat Kansas kid thinks Erin Andrews is hot. [Busted Coverage]
• So, the Pro Bowl happened. Woo-hoo. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The hottest cheerleaders from the Pro Bowl, everyone. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• Aaron Rodgers: confirmed photobomber. [Off the Bench]
• Chad Ochocinco believes he’ll never play in a Super Bowl and I guess we’re supposed to feel bad for him. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Headline: “The Best Steelers Song Covering Lady Gaga, Using A Ukulele, And Sung By A Little Girl That You’ll See Today.” Alright. [Ted Williams Head]
• Kevin Garnett wearing a ginormous band-aid. [The Last Angry Fan]
• In other news, Garnett punched the Suns’ Channing Frye in the nuts. [Bob's Blitz]
• Boy, Jake Locker’s stock is sure falling fast. [Rumors & Rants]
• You know that “Daddy’s Girls” Just for Men commercial? Here’s the rest of the story. [Food Court Lunch]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Department Of Health And Human Services Recommends Standing At Least Once A Day
“That picture is of him laughing in my face" - Matt Katrosar
God, just when you think Bill Murray can’t get any more awesome (and completely off his rocker nuts), he goes and pulls a stunt like this – and adds another layer of zaniness to his considerable legend. According to a story first published on BlackBook (which I saw on FilmDrunk), a Green Bay Packers fan and his pal who were in attendance at the NFC Championship Game last Sunday when the Pack took on the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field were fortunate enough to be seated right in from of diehard Bears fan of some renown, Bill Murray. Unfortunately, Mr. Murray didn’t much appreciate these two Packers fans whooping it up right in front of him on his home turf. How annoyed was Murray with the Cheeseheads’ antics? He shoved one of them and called legendary Green Bay Packers middle linebacker and Hall of Famer Ray Nitschke a p*ssy. Wow.
My friend Matt Katrosar flew to Chicago last weekend to hang out with some of his Windy City pals and attend the Bears/Packers NFL playoff game. He was wearing a Green Bay jersey (in support of old-school Packers legend Ray Nitschke) amid a sea of Chicago blue. During the 2nd quarter, Matt celebrated a considerably good play on the part of Green Bay with the usual hootin’ and hollerin’ reserved for such moments. That’s when he was blatantly shoved from behind. Turning to catch a glimpse of his assailant, he discovered his pusher was none other than Bill Murray, a huge Chicago Bears fan, who was unapologetically enjoying the moment.
Matt’s friend managed to capture a photo of Murray in mid-celebration, laughing at the rival fans. Naturally, Matt wanted a picture with the legendary actor. Murray’s response to his request? “Nitschke is a pussy.”
Best story ever, or GREATEST STORY EVAR? All I know is I wish I was lucky enough to be seated next to Bill Murray during a Bears-Vikings game and have the pleasure of him shoving me and then informing me that Jim Marshall was a p*ssy. That would be so sweet. And then I would have that going for me. Which is nice.
Bill Murray Pushes Green Bay Fan at Playoff Game, Calls Ray Nitschke a P*ssy [BlackBook (via FilmDrunk)]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Inside the mind of the NHL autograph hound. [Puck Daddy]
• Angry birds have descended upon the Australian Open. Mate. [With Leather]
• Bill Walton’s still got it, folks. [The Basketball Jones]
• Shocking: nobody is watching The T. Ocho Show on Versus. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The story behind AHL goalie Todd Ford’s awesome Johnny Cash tattoo. [Off the Bench]
• Another entry from the KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pickkake: The angry black guy from your local grocery store. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Finally, an honest Pro Bowl promo. [TAUNTR]
• Megan Fox in thigh-high stockings? Megan Fox in thigh-high stockings. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Two dudes cross ball on the soccer pitch. [Bob's Blitz]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Study Links Adult-Male Smiling To Extremely Overweight Men Scoring Touchdowns
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. What you see above is a delightful slice of whimsy about the ins, outs and thrusts needed to “Raji,” as in dance like Green Bay Packers nose tackle B.J. Raji did after he returned a pick for a touchdown during the 4th quarter of the NFC Championship Game against the Chicago Bears. It’s amusing, you see.
The video, on the other hand, is more, um, weird. It features people, presumably from Green Bay, from all walks of life and of varying levels of cholesterol counts putting their hands on their hips and swiveling. It’s a real hoot.
And thankfully, folks, you can now tell your friends, family and co-workers that after viewing this video, you now know how to “Raji,” although if you needed the video to figure it out there’s not much hope for you.
[H/T Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Hey Pittsburgh Steelers fans who are proud new parents: gotta support the team. Since Yinzer babies are “born Steelers fans” in Pittsburgh, according to Sharon Johnson, clinical supervisor of St. Clair Hospital’s Family Birth Center, it makes perfect sense that newborns are being swathed in their very own Terrible Towel and are also fitted with a Steelers knit hat, which in a way, is effectively a symbolic baptism, if you will, into the Cult of Steelers Nation. That’s awesome.
Steeler Nation Welcomes New Arrivals [Chartiers Valley Patch (via Mondesi's House)]
The great country of Sweden, which has brought to the world such things as Abba, Ikea and, most importantly, Roxette, is the source of the website from which a dancing “OvyChimp”- which is simply the Washington Capitals superstar’s head placed on top of an animated chimp’s body – multiplies on the screen as he swings to and fro grooving to Swedish music. It’s simply mesmerizing.
Much like Mr. Steinberg over at D.C. Sports Bog, I don’t know what it all means or the significance behind OvyChimp, although I can say it’s a solid time waster. Click on through to the Swedish side here, but be forewarned: watching OvyChimp is incredibly addictive. I was lost in the movements for a good hour.
[H/T D.C. Sports Bog]
I have previously expressed my disdain for the traditional practice of politicians making ridiculous wagers regarding the outcomes of big sporting events. These utter wastes of time usually involving foodstuffs or commodities which have become a trademark of their respective communities. It’s silly.
Well it appears to entities have elected to up the stupidity ante as officials of St. Vincent College near Latrobe, PA and St. Norbert College in Wisconsin, the schools where training camps for the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers, respectively, are held have decided it would be a hoot and a holler to make a wager between the colleges. Because, you know, they are almost partially tangentially related to the teams competing in Super Bowl XLV. And you will not believe what’s hanging in the balance of the outcome of the big game.
Via the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:
If the Steelers win, St. Norbert will send St. Vincent some of Wisconsin cheese and sausage and a copy of a book about the Packers and St. Norbert in the Lombardi years. The legendary Green Bay coach, after whom the Super Bowl trophy is named, spent nine years at St. Norbert while the Packers trained there.
If the Packers win, St. Vincent will send St. Norbert a gift basket containing a bag of stone ground flour from its historic gristmill, a loaf of its bread, a bag of black-and-gold special blend coffee beans from its campus coffeehouse and a copy of Jim O’Brien’s book, “Always a Steeler,” which has stories about player experiences on campus.
Whoa! I’m on pins and needles here wondering which school will come up as the big winners. There’s sausage and cheese, and flour and coffee riding on this, people!
Team training camp colleges make Super Bowl wager [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]
