Archive for December, 2010
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, comments and complaints to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Indeed, why would a person who had 500 pounds of freaking marijuana in his car do something as moronic as run a red light? Ask this idiot, Clement Hunter. He was pulled over by NYPD on Sunday in Queens after attempting to evade the police for a few blocks. Upon inspection, police discovered 513 pounds of grass stuffed in garbage bags, some of it in clear view. Hunter faces “50 counts of felony possession of marijuana as well as charges of reckless endangerment and fleeing officers.” What a woodhead. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
• Farwell says Farewell to Favrewell. I mean Favre. [It's Always Sunny In Detroit]
• The minor league Binghamton Senators hockey team is having a Festivus for the rest of us. [Puck Daddy]
• The top 5 most brutal sports fails in 2010. [Ranker]
• The New York Islanders got heckled during an appearance at a children’s hospital. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Rams/Sam Bradford/Oklahoma fan doesn’t know when to shut up, so some guy does it for him. [Busted Coverage]
• The Dallas Mavericks singing “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” [The Sporting Rave]
• Geno Auriemma: Champion of Women. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Two contestants nailed half-court shots at a Villanova game. [Bob's Blitz]
• Belgian soccer snowball apocalypses are the worst kind. [Off the Bench]
• The top 10 reasons the Giants are keeping punter Matt Dodge on the roster. [Five Tool Tool]
• Philly Sports Wikileaks: DeSean Jackson. [TheWizWit]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: New Harlem Globetrotter Rudy ‘Rude Dude’ Williams Not Working Out
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Word on the street is that the Bengals were considering benching T.O. prior to his knee injury. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Ladies and germs, the craziest Mexican Winter League Baseball brawl of the year. [Busted Coverage]
• Who knew Peter King could pull of such beernerdity? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Fan sues New York Jets player over a thrown snowball. [Off the Bench]
• The Patrick Kane hip hop anthem is certainly something. [Puck Daddy]
• Houston Texans players are fighting each other now. [With Leather]
• DeSean Jackson’s game-winning punt return, Tecmo Bowl-style. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Can a golfer knock a clay pigeon out of midair? Click through and find out. [Devil Ball Golf]
• The top 10 reasons why golf is hard. No mention of knocking a clay pigeon out of midair, either. [Waggle Room]
• Happy holidays wishes from a sinister Mr. Met. [Steady Burn]
• The 67 best mustaches from the 1991 Topps baseball card set. [7th Inning Stache]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
“I love my new car!” “Thank you!” – Google
Did anyone else have any inclination that Google was in the market for a car, let alone a Toyota? And what kind of sweet talking did the salesperson do at Karl Malone Toyota to get Google behind the wheel of something on their lot?
I sure wish I had been made aware of Google’s need for a car. Had I known, I would have tried to dissuade Google from purchasing a Toyota and instead go the route that Excite* did and look into purchasing a low-mileage Hyundai from John Stockton Hyundai & Subaru (“At John Stockton Hyundai & Subaru, they got Hyundais and Subarus”).
* yes, Excite actually still exists. And looking mighty fine, I might add. Mighty fine, indeed.
[H/T NESW Sports]
Lakers Holiday Greetings from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.
Well, that certainly puts me in a festive holiday spirit. There’s really nothing that embodies the Christmas season better than a bunch of professional athletes half-assing their way through a Christmas carol. It really warms the cockles of your heart. At least Ron Artest seemed to be having a good time, but then again, when isn’t he enjoying himself?
Hey, here’s a nifty idea: a very special holiday event, Ron Artest Saves Christmas…now that, my friend, is a great concept that needs to be explored.
If it wasn’t Eli’s wickedly noxious gas clearing the room, than what was it? Is there any other possible explanation for why there is nary a soul in attendance as Eli stepped up to the podium for his press conference after yesterday’s debacle? The bastard cleared the damn room.
Don’t believe me? See for yourself. Even Eli couldn’t tolerate the toxic smell of his own brand yesterday:
At least that’s how I see it. Judge for yourself. Here’s how Rodman ambivalently responded to a question from Sid Rosenberg on who would win a game between the Big Three from the Miami Heat and him, MJ and Scottie Pippen during a radio appearance on WQAM in Miami (via Sports Radio Interviews):
“No contest. That’s not even a question.”
Um, okay. So his opinion is what exactly? Sure, we can reasonably surmise that Rodman believes he and his old teammates would beat the Heat, but he didn’t really state his opinion clearly one way or the other. He just said “no contest.” And how is this question not a question? Or did he mean to say there’s not even a question? That would at least have made sense.
Jeez Louise, that Dennis Rodman, he’s like a tattooed enigma wrapped inside an alcoholic riddle stuffed inside an STD-riddled puzzle. But hey, at least he wasn’t getting a beej during this radio interview. I think.
Dennis Rodman on the Bulls’ Big Three Squaring Off With Miami’s Big Three: “No contest.” [Sports Radio Interviews]
While attending the Bruins-Capitals game at the TD Garden on Saturday evening, Matt Parker (left), 17, and Jon Parker (right), 20, apparently decided it would be wicked awesome if they scaled the boards to spend a little time on the ice. Unfortunately for these two dolts from New Hampshire, the police did not find said stunt wicked awesome as they were promptly arrested and will now be arraigned on Tuesday for the charge of disturbing a public assembly.
And I know it will come as a total shock, but the Parker Brothers (I’m going on the assumption they are brothers) – had “a strong odor of alcohol emanating” from them when arrested. Crazy stuff.
Amusing photos of their little trip onto the ice surface follows.
Ha ha. Yeah, probably not a good day to share the same name as the beleaguered – and soon to be unemployed, I reckon – Giants punter who inexplicably punted to DeSean Jackson in the waning moments of the Eagles-Giants game yesterday. Of course, as you all know, the rest is kick-Giants-fans-in-the-junk history: Jackson returned the punt for a touchdown, the Eagles capped a historic comeback and, evidently, any person named Matt Dodge with a social media account – in particular this guy – cringed as the vitriolic hatred for the Giants punter unfairly descended upon them.
In any event, it must suck to share a name with a person who has achieved an unwelcome and unflattering level of notoriety, especially in a town like New York City. Maybe this Matt Dodge fellow should simply change his Twitter handle until everything blows over. O.J. Dodge would be a nice choice. You know, because if there’s a Seinfeld reference hanging out there, I’m taking it.
Giants Punter Creates HELL for Man w/ Same Name [TMZ]
The Fellowship of the Pills? The Two Codeines? The Return of the Pillpopper? Boy, do those stink or what? But come on, man, I’m doing my best here. And it was, like, hard and stuff.
Horribly weak attempts at Tolkien-esque references aside, Ryan Leaf, one of the most colossal busts in the history of the NFL, has an agreement with Crimson Oak Publishing to write a three-book series about his life, a tragic tale of untapped potential, epic failures and a buttload of ill-begotten prescription painkillers.
The first book will focus on his successful college career as a Washington State Cougar, with the second and third books of the series focusing on, um, the less successful periods of his life, which pretty much consists of every waking moment of every day the minute after he was drafted second overall in the 1998 NFL draft by the San Diego Chargers and the downward spiral into drug-addled despair which followed, including, but not limited to, taking a leave of absence from his coaching job at West Texas A&M after he allegedly asked one of his players for a painkiller pill to his subsequent arrest at the U.S.-Canada border in June of 2009 on drug and burglary charges.
Somebody say “cheeba,” everybody
(cheeba)
Somebody say “cheeba,” everybody
(cheeba)
- “Something for the Blunted” – Cypress Hill
Great googly moogly.
[H/T Joe Sports Fan)
It’s funny because Michael Vick’s history with dog fighting. The genius is in its subtlety.
Hoo boy. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that the New York Post, of all the NYC tabloids, took the low road for their front page regarding the Giants’ epic collapse yesterday against the Eagles. But photoshopping heads of dogs on the Giants players? Sheesh. And the “Dog It” in the headline? Genius.
Although in retrospect, perhaps we should be grateful there wasn’t a rape stand incorporated into this Bad Idea Photoshop.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and Santa Clause fanfic to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• About 12 nerdy hippies descended upon a pub in Philadelphia to celebrate an obsolete tool from a bygone era: the manual typewriter. I’m surprised they managed to get 12 people to show up. From azcentral: Event organizer Michael McGettigan says he values the durability of typewriters, which unlike quickly obsolete computers can go on for decades as long as ribbons can be had. He says the disadvantages are the slowness and weight of the machines – and “people going ‘What’s with you?’”
• Breaking news: DeSean Jackson is good at returning punts. [Bob's Blitz]
• Hey, at least the Philly newspapers didn’t get all punny about the miraculous comeback win. Oh wait. [Busted Coverage]
• The best Manningface ever! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• If you have been in the market for a Donovan McNabb Redskins jersey but were worried about the price, now’s your chance. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• And here’s a pictorial representation of Donovan’s benching. [TAUNTR]
• New York Rangers’ Dale Weise has a drinking problem. [Off the Bench]
• Say what you want about the guy, but Chiefs QB Matt Cassell must be one tough S.O.B. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Dan Connolly is one athletic offensive lineman, as evidenced by his amazing kickoff return last night. [Outside the Boxscore]
• Blake Griffin continues to dazzle while playing for the woeful Clippers. [Outside the Boxscore]
• This old Starting Lineup commercial is retro gold. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Opium-Inspired Ad Executive Composes Epic Tums Jingle
This Chinese hurdler’s unique methods at how he approaches each and every hurdle during this race is a perfect illustrative metaphor for how I approach every weekend: just close my eyes and no matter what happens, keep on plowing through. And when it’s over, confusingly wonder what in the holy hell you just did. And you know what? It ain’t a bad way of going about things. Perhaps you should do the same.
Have a great weekend, kiddos and kiddettes. See you Monday.
[H/T Guyism]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• The PD Reader Art Contest for NHL holiday cards is teh awesome. [Puck Daddy]
• An analysis of Randy Moss’ quitting antics over the years. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Speaking of Randy, is it possible that he actually called into a radio show and ripped Jeff Fisher? [Off the Bench]
• Sadly, the tragic saga of Jose Canseco keeps chugging along. [Busted Coverage]
• There were some pretty awkward dancing antics occurring at last night’s Wizards game. [Bob's Blitz]
• Yao Ming, big time Ludacris fan. [The Basketball Jones]
• Speaking of Yao, the NBA has issued a recall of all centers manufactured in its Chinese plant. [TAUNTR]
• Yeah, you probably do not want to get involved with English footballer John Terry’s family. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Shocking: the New York tabloids sunk to New York tabloid levels when reporting on LeBron James’ visit to NYC. [Ball Don't Lie]
• The Big Ten is considering renaming divisions. Good idea. [Every Day Should Be Saturday]
• Here’s the Cliff Lee/Yankees Hitler “Downfall” video you have been waiting for. [Ted Williams Head]
• Holy Chargers punter getting flipped like a cheese omelette animated GIF, Batman! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Report: 100 Percent Of College Football Players Receiving Benefits Of Being College Football Players
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
It’s funny because no one was hurt when the roof of Hubert H. Humphrey Yummydome collapsed.
The only thing missing are some miniature gingerbread men representing the Wilfs standing nearby cackling maniacally and high-fiving each other regarding how easy it is going to be to make this deflated, moldy and outmoded pile of lemons into a shining, thirst-quenching glass of delicious brand new stadium lemonade.
Tasty.
[H/T RandBall]
