Archive for December, 2010
Hulk Hogan has checked himself into a Florida hospital for a much-needed surgical procedure on his bad back. Exact details regarding the surgery have not disclosed at this time, but it is safe to say that years in the sports entertainment business are the likely cause. Either that or the years of attempting to carry his untalented daughter’s fledgling music career has finally got the best of him.
Hogan is now a shocking 57-years-old, which makes perfect sense when you consider how long he has been around but nevertheless causes me to feel incredibly old, and it should come as no surprise that his body might be beginning to cease up and quit on him, although if I were a betting man, I would have wagered his ex-wife Linda would have been the Hogan requiring back surgery first, for obvious, saggy reasons. Gross. She looks like a broken-in catcher’s mitt.
Hulk’s admittance into the hospital for surgery is only weeks after his marriage to girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel, but considering the disaster the nuptials turned into, Hulk probably should be grateful he’s only in the hospital for back surgery.
Alas, where have the years gone? It seems like only yesterday that Hulkamania was running wild and I was taking all my vitamins. Now, the Hulkster is slowly turning into a broken-down old man. Time waits for no man, I guess, even for a Real American like Hulk Hogan.
Hogan to undergo back surgery [Toronto Sun]
Lakers coach Phil Jackson is the son of two Christian ministers, so perhaps it should not come as a surprise that he is dead-set against the Lakers being used as a holiday sacrificial lamb by the NBA for its annual slate of Christmas day games. The Lakers have played on Christmas every year since 1999.
Jackson discussed his distaste for playing on the holiday during an interview with the AP’s Greg Beachem (via The Washington Post):
It’s like Christian holidays don’t mean to them anything any more,” Jackson said. “Just go out and play and entertain the TV. It’s really weird, but it is what it is. We have to go to work and make the best of it.
“I don’t think anybody should play on Christmas Day. I don’t understand it.
“It’s going to be Christmas, and you’re going to have little kids putting batteries in toys and putting their Christmas presents together. There’s all kinds of crazy stuff going on, and now your head has got to get focused on the game, in the middle of the afternoon on Christmas Day.”
I have to agree with the Zen Master. There shouldn’t be any NBA games on Christmas, let alone the fact that the Lakers always are picked to play on the special day. I would assume that most of the players, staff and coaches – not to mention the broadcasters, arena personnel, etc. – are family men and would much prefer to spend Christmas with their loved ones as opposed to playing a midseason game which is no more important than the ones preceding it.
I don’t know about any of you, but I believe Christmas should be a day of rest, religious introspection and family. Or absent that, a day of exhaustively running all over town to different get-togethers, picking up after overindulged kids while beating your head against the wall trying to extract a toy out of nearly impossible-to-open packaging and dejectedly coming to the realization that after all the buildup, commercialization and effort that the holiday has come to an anti-climactic end. Why should NBA players be prevented from experiencing such joy? It’s only fair they be allowed to share in majesty and splendor of it all, right?
Jesus, what’s wrong with me? That damn Phil Jackson pulled some kind of Zen trick on me and now I’m as crabby about Christmas as he is about playing on the day. I guess if he’s not going to have any fun, no one will. Next thing you know, Jackson will be bitching about playing games on Samhain. Or Halloween, for you non-pagans out there.
Lakers’ Jackson still down on Christmas games [The Washington Post]
Caption for the above photo uploaded to twitpic by @SF_Giants:
Who stayed up to watch the Moon congratulate the #SFGiants on their World Championship last night?
Um, yes, the moon is literally congratulating the Giants on their World Championship. Yeah, I get it – the moon took on a orangish hue due to the eclipse on Monday night. Crazy stuff. It’s almost as if the cosmos foretold the ultimate outcome of the 2010 World Series eons ago and scheduled a lunar eclipse to occur at an imprecise moment in time having virtually no relation to a World Series victory two months ago. Killer, dude.
At the same time, this isn’t the first occurrence of some San Franciscan burnout attempting to equate something groovy they saw in the skies to the possibility that the universe is ethereally sending congratulatory and/or celebratory messages regarding the Giants’ World Series victory. Look to the skies, Giants fans. There’s a message in there somewhere. You just have to look hard enough to see it. Or drop some acid. Either way, the truth is out there.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A man in Duluth, Minnesota raised $6,500 for charity by running 20 miles in a pink tutu on Tuesday. Here’s a photo of Jerimy Hallsten in his tutu. And here’s a nod to The Smiths for riffing on “Vicar in a Tutu” in the title. [msnbc]
• Mark Wahlberg vs. Will Smith in a celebrity boxing match? Yes. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The Puck Daddy Reader Art Contest is really hitting its stride. [Puck Daddy]
• Lakers player Matt Barnes still hasn’t figured out how to tuck in a jersey. [Busted Coverage]
• Damn dirty Canadians and their bench-clearing lacrosse brawls. [Bob's Blitz]
• Brilliant: pro athlete gingerbread houses. [TAUNTR]
• Breaking news: Dick Vitale still lurves Coach K. [With Leather]
• Donovan McNabb, you so crazy. [Second-String Fullback]
• Could Jon Gruden be on his way to the Cleveland Browns organization? [Rumors & Rants]
• The Russians will not tolerate furry Olympic mascot frog. [Off the Bench]
• The top 10 reasons Tom Coughlin sat alone in the dark for 2 1/2 hours. [Five Tool Tool]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Christian Weightlifter Bends Iron Bar To Demonstrate Power Of God’s Love
CCM’s Alex Ovechkin vs. Silly Videos: Kittens from Greg Wyshynski on Vimeo.
Well that’s certainly…odd. And kind of disturbing, if you ask me. According to Wysh over at Puck Daddy, this is simply the latest direction in the marketing campaign for Ovechkin’s endorsement of CCM’s U+ Crazy Light skates, and I have to tell you, this one was almost as off-putting as the time Ovie’s disembodied head showed up in some kid’s locker.
But it’s all good. More from the Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player is always a good thing. Even if it’s subtly terrifying.
[H/T Puck Daddy - be sure to check out the Sleestak Masked Man/Green Screen Ovietime Video as well]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Legendary Vikings coach Bud Grant was, still is and always will be a total badass. [Shutdown Corner]
• Shaquille O’Neal channeled his inner Bob Cobb. [With Leather]
• The Denver Nuggets would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, Run-DMC style. [Deuce of Davenport]
• CHEEZ DOODLES! Stephen A. Smith is leaving his FOX Sports Radio morning show. [Larry Brown Sports]
• An absolutely amazing and unbelievable way to win a Division III football championship. [Bob's Blitz]
• Are the Houston Rockets the NBA’s best football team? Wait. What? [The Basketball Jones]
• John Stockton’s kid did the “Big Balls Dance.” [Joe Sports Fan]
• Brilliant: Tommy from Quinzee stars in the upcoming drama, The Fighter of the Town.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• An NFL-themed parody of Ke$ha’s “Play It Soft”? Alright. [:PM Sports
• Tom Coughlin is one depressing bastard. [Second-String Fullback]
• General Tao would like you to suck his waffle. No, it’s about the Maple Leafs. [Food Court Lunch]
• The funniest thing you’ll see all day: ’80s puppet icon Alf snorting coke. [Warming Glow]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: [video] Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
- If you see this man milling about your neighborhood, notify authorities immediately
If you are unfamiliar with NBC NHL analyst Mike Mlibury’s body of work – at least as it pertains to his broadcasting career – well, he can be a bit on the obnoxious side. I’m not implying that he is a terrible analyst, but personally, I find his style a bit abrasive. But never had I suspected until this moment that Milbury might be a total perv. Not only that, but Milbury also appears to have the requisite predisposition to become a potential Peeping Tom.
To wit, here is what Milbury had to say about how NBC executive producer Sam Flood should go about covering NHL poster boy Sidney Crosby for the upcoming 2011 Bridgestone Winter Classic, which will pit Crosby’s Penguins against Ovechkin’s Capitals at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh and will air on NBC on New Year’s Day (via Game On!):
“I said to Sam: I want them to get the cameras in Sid’s bedroom to see if he scores as much there as he does everywhere else,” joked Milbury, the former player and coach-turned NBC’s NHL Game of the Week studio analyst.
Um, okay. Of course, Milbury said it in jest and was simply trying to get a laugh, but something about his comments troubles me. It is often said that there is a bit of truth in every joke. The question is, in Milbury’s case, just how much truth is embedded in his little joke? Given how Milbury – much like the rest of his NHL analyst ilk – worship the ice Sid the Kid skates on, I would not be surprised in the least if Milbury wouldn’t mind getting his hands on some of that aforementioned raw footage. Strictly for hockey analyst-related purposes only, of course. And maybe for a little voyeuristic thrill as well. I mean, the guy’s clearly got some issues.
Mike Milbury wants to know if Sidney Crosby scores as much in bedroom as on ice [Game On!]
By now, many of you have heard at least a little bit of the new HBO documentary, 24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the NHL Classic, some of you might have even caught a minute or two of the show. And as you may have also heard, a controversy erupted regarding Capitals head coach Bruce Boudreau’s choice of “working blue” when the cameras were rolling. Of course, a similar ruckus ensued after Jets head coach Rex Ryan was filmed using salty language during Hard Knocks. Leading the charge of the “Stop The Swearing Insanity!” movement was Sensitive Christian Man Tony Dungy, who harshly criticized Ryan for his colorful manner of speaking.
Thankfully, the NHL appears to be more open-minded regarding grown men swearing. We need look no further than the Commissioner himself, Gary Bettman, for a much more realistic outlook on what kind of choice language might be heard in its locker rooms. Via Yahoo!/AP:
But Bettman called it a natural part of “the ultimate reality show.”
“You’re watching a team and in particular a coach going through a very difficult time,” Bettman said at a media breakfast Tuesday to promote the Winter Classic between the two teams. “No one in this room is prudish enough to think that locker room language isn’t coarse.”
The commissioner added, “Both teams have handled themselves beautifully.”
Dammit, I spend most of time trying to think of new and inventive ways to ridicule the usually inept and befuddled Bettman, and now he pulls a stunt like this…and totally redeems himself! Not cool, Bettman. Not cool. On second thought, it is totally cool, but he’s completely mucking up the program and messing with the bit. But I’ll give credit where credit is due. For once, Bettman is allowing a wonderful marketing opportunity for the NHL occur naturally and isn’t getting his clumsy paws all mixed up in something and screwing it all up. Good on you, Bettster.
NHL’s Bettman doesn’t mind Boudreau’s cursing [Yahoo!/AP]
This Is Gruden Ripping Weed's Heart Out...Kali Ma!
GAH! I would say the above headline certainly qualifies as the “Dear God No, Anything But That, Kill Me Now” Headline of the Day. Crap, how about Headline of the Decade?
Damn you, Pioneer Press scribe Charley Walters, for even speculating as to the possibility of that scenario, however unlikely. Damn you straight to Hell.
Shooter Now: Imagine a Vikings-Jon Gruden marriage in 2011 — with you-know-who at QB [Pioneer Press]
When he isn’t living in a van down by the river, former MLB great and current financial failure Lenny Dykstra likes to tell anyone who is willing to listen to his cockamamie line of bullcrap about how it was not his fault that he took a flying leap over the poor investment precipice headlong into a steaming pile of economic ruin. Lawsuits, failed businesses, bankruptcy, yeah, they’re all there. But it’s not his fault, you see. It was those goddamn crooks at JP Morgan who set Dykstra on an unavoidable path to Shantytown. But hey, at least he has an Orthodox Jewish lawyer to help him out of the mess that is absolutely and unequivocally not his responsibility.
Step inside the warped mind of Lenny Dykstra courtesy of his appearance on WIP in Philly with Howard Eskin and Ike Reese. But be forewarned: it’s kind of messy in there.
As a professional dart player – a dartist? Darterer? – Phil Taylor is living the high life, reaching levels of fame and popularity previously unheard of for someone of his profession. At least in England. So much so, he came in second place in the BBC’s Sports Personality of the Year, and was rendered completely befuddled at the recognition a simple 50-year-old bloke can achieve simply by throwing darts at a board.
But, as is the case with many greats in sport, Phil Taylor has a dark side. His obsession with darts has begun to affect his personal life, his free time and his sleeping patterns. In fact, it could be said that Taylor is afflicted with a full-blown case of dartaholicism.
When asked about whether he is contemplating retirement, Taylor’s answer should be cause for concern for his friends and family. To wit (via The Guardian):
“No, I won’t. I’ll never be able to stop working or playing darts. I eat, breathe and sleep darts. But I’m getting better. I used to have to go to the board and hit three 180s before I’d allow myself to go to bed. Sometimes, I’d do it in five minutes but, on a bad night, it could take an hour.”
That’s harsh. And potentially troubling. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an darts binge. Although the downfalls of being a dartaholic pales in comparison to being a shartaholic. Quite a disgusting disease, to be sure.
And yes, that was an awfully long way to go just to make a joke about something as stupid as someone being a shartaholic. But I think it was worth it. No? Whatever, man.
Phil Taylor: I’ll never be able to stop … I eat, breathe and sleep darts [The Guardian]
It’s funny because there are crickets chirping in the background and there’s no way any crickets got into that room! They didn’t have press passes, you goofballs! Duh.
But really, the possibilities for Lonely Eli are limitless, just so long as there are people out there willing to spend some time doing a little video editing or photoshoppery. There has to be a photo of Lonely Eli’s Epic Fail Press Conference, so how about somebody out there photoshops a bunch of Muppets in the seats or, um, man, I don’t know…I’m not much of an idea guy. That’s the whole point to the existence of internet troglodytes, people.
[H/T The700Level]
I don’t know, man, in this day and age, with all the hullabaloo over children factory workers in faraway lands, is it really the best idea for Terrell Owens to upload photos to the internet of him utilizing child labor after undergoing season-ending knee surgery? I’m telling you, this guy will do anything to draw attention to himself, even if it’s negative. Come on, T.O. That ain’t right, dude.
[H/T Busted Coverage]
There are few honors which can be bestowed upon a person that are more gratifying than having their very own flavor of ice cream named after them. Just ask Jerry Garcia. Well, you can’t ask Jerry, but I am willing to bet he thought the whole gig was pretty groovy. And don’t bother trying to ask Larry Neapolitan or Barry Peppermintbonbon, either. They’re dead, too.
But you could, however, ask Michigan State Spartans head football coach Mark Dantonio about how it feels to have a flavor of ice cream bearing his namesake now that a winner has been named in the “Name the Bowl Flavor” contest. The name of the ice cream flavor which will be sold on the MSU campus in its Dairy Store is:
Dantonio’s Double Fudge Fake. Yum.
The name, come up with by five-year-old Aidan Rouse of Alpena, Michigan, obviously is in tribute to Dantonio’s gutsy call in the Notre Dame game earlier this year when he ordered a fake field goal in overtime, which, while not going precisely as planned, resulted in a 29-yard touchdown pass from Aaron Bates to Charlie Gantt in the Spartans’ unbelievable 34-31 victory over the flabbergasted Irish. But who cares about that? What’s the deal with the ice cream?
Via USA Today/AP:
The flavor features chocolate ice cream mixed with a butter fudge base, a caramel swirl, chewy chocolate brownies and milk chocolate caramel-filled footballs.
Mmmm…milk chocolate caramel-filled footballs. Spheroidically delicious! A big congratulations to little Aidan Rouse on winning the contest, although I have to say that while Double Fudge Fake sounds delightful as a flavor of ice cream, the term has an entirely different meaning in prison, and my guess is the experience is nowhere close to as pleasant as enjoying a scoop of the new ice cream while hanging out at the Dairy Store.
‘Double Fudge Fake’ new Michigan St. flavor [USA Today/AP]
Oscar Wilde once said, “A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament.” I have no clue what that particular quote by Wilde has to do with this particular story, but it was the first one I came across after doing a Google search for “quotes about art,” so I ran with it.
But in way, I suppose any quote delving into the concept of “unique temperament” is fitting when discussing Ron Artest, and perhaps an equally fitting way of describing a similarly unique recent one-night art show in Toronto, a 32-piece collection by 28 artists dubbed “Lovable Badass: Artists on Artest,” an event the man himself reluctantly attended. In fact, Artest was quite taken aback by the exhibit and event.
“It was kind of overwhelming,” Artest said. “I didn’t know what to expect. I was by myself. I didn’t have no security or nothing, nobody guiding me through things. I had to get comfortable real fast.”
And comfortable he eventually became, although Artist’s emotions turned, in his words, “nasty,” when he perused one piece, “Good Defense 1″, a slightly homoerotic take by artist Diana McNally of when Artest and the Celtics’ Paul Pierce became entangled.
“Oh, man, that’s the worst picture ever,” Artest said when he saw McNally’s work, though it did not stop him from signing it and posing with her for a photograph.
FOX Sports’ Billy Witz wrote a great piece on the evening, which goes into far more detail regarding the event, something I would highly recommend taking the time to read if you are fascinated by the world of Ron Artest, the world of art, or when those seemingly disparate worlds become intertwined. But for now, please enjoy a gallery of some of the more provocative pieces that made up the exhibit.
I’m pretty sure the Ron Artest Thriller piece is my favorite. Although the Peanuts-themed piece is pretty far out as well.
Work of Art-est [FOX Sports]
