Archive for November, 2010
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
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Apologies for a half-assed day of posting – computer issues and whatnot. Lame.
• Good planning: only one end zone will be used at Wrigley Field for Saturday’s Northwestern-Illinois game. [Out of Bounds]
• The NFL hates your freaking guts. Find out why. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Happy 6th Anniversary of the Malice at the Palace, Ron Artest! [TAUNTR]
• Say what you want, due to the lack of run support from the Mariners, Felix Hernandez deserved the Cy Young Award. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall: still a moron. [Bob's Blitz]
• Will Steven Stamkos be the next 50 goals in 50 games player? [Puck Daddy]
• Andrew Bogut: LEAVE GREG ODEN ALONE!!1!! [The Basketball Jones]
• The SEC has suspended Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl for eight games. [The Dagger]
• According to a CNN report, a Lebanon golf course might be sitting atop a mass grave. Jinkies. [Devil Ball Golf]
• This week’s suggested sign for ESPN College GameDay. [Sports Pickle]
• Compelling headline: “The Disappointment of my Loins.” [Food Court Lunch]
• Awesome: another edition of “Answering John Clayton’s Mailbag.” [Daddy's Sugar Ball]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Movie Theater Employee Hurt By Customer’s Comments About High Price Of Popcorn
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“This series is brought to you by T.G.I. Friday’s, where every Sunday means Food, Fun & Football! Hut, hut, hut!”
It’s hard to believe, but we are already at Week 11 in the NFL season. Where have the days, weeks and months gone? For some teams (and their respective fans), the fact that the calendar will soon be rolling over to December means that it’s high time to get revved up for a possible postseason run; while for others, it means the season is nearing its merciful end and they shift their focus and begin to look forward to an offseason during which their team can improve their sorry lot in life via the draft and free agency.
Or there could be a lockout (GAH!), which would mean either no 2011 season or a truncated version of one. But that’s kooky talk, something we should never speak of again. Instead, let us instead look forward to a bright future for the NFL in the upcoming calendar year, but before that, how about we take a gander at a few of the more compelling matchups headed our way this weekend? Sounds good to me.
Did she pay for all those seats? Word on the street is that the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs got their asses booted out of these prime seats and relocated up to the nosebleeds in Staples Center Wednesday night when the Los Angeles Kings faced off against the Columbus Blue Jackets.
If you aren’t a die-hard Disney fan, perhaps you haven’t heard that the studio is set to release Tangled, a 3D animated update of the classic Rapunzel story and the appearance by the long-haired lass and Flynn Rider was a means to get the word out regarding the November 24th release. And the couple sure seem to be enjoying themselves. And why wouldn’t they? It sure beats having to hang out with Disney CEO Robert Iger, which was their only other option on Wednesday. And word on the street is that guy is one colossal bore. I mean, how many times can you hear the story about Disney’s acquisition of Pixar without your eyes rolling into the back of your head?
(image credit)
[H/T for post title - of course - goes out to the Beastie Boys]
Kevin Garnett may not be “speaking to nobodies these days,” he sure seems to relish the opportunity, when asked, to talk about nobodies, as evidenced by his comments on WEEI in Boston regarding the kerfuffle between the Celtics loudmouthed forward and Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva. As you may recall, Villanueva reported on some allegedly inappropriate trash he was on the receiving end of from Kevin Garnett earlier this month by takin’ it to the tweets, accusing KG of referring to him as a “cancer patient”. KG came back with a pathetically weak defense, claiming that he instead said the following: “You are cancerous to your team and our league.” Ha. Right.
Anyhoo, Garnett was back on the offensive yesterday, courtesy of sports talk radio (via Sporting News):
“First off, the false statement which he was citing,” Garnett said. “Dude knew what I said to him. I’m not going to get back into it and bring it up, because you know what? I’m not speaking to nobodies these days.
“It was just one thing that I had to deal with that day. We all have to deal with different things every day. I had to pile that on to my list to deal with.”
Jeez, who knew Kevin Garnett had such a hard knock life? Apparently, on this particularly challenging day, he had to deal with not one, presumably not even two, but many different things that day. I don’t know how the guy gets out of bed in the morning with so much stuff on his plate.
But here’s my question about KG’s comments. When he says “nobodies,” is he insinuating that Charlie Villanueva is a nobody and that he is not speaking to those of his ilk anymore? As in, he will reserve his trash talking only when interacting on the court with somebodies? And how does he decide who are nobodies and who are somebodies? Are nobodies people who will fire back at him or call him on it and somebodies are those players who will turn the other cheek, so to speak, and tolerate his verbal abuse? Nobodies, somebodies, it’s all so confusing. Is there anybodies out there who can help me sort this out?
Kevin Garnett on Villanueva: ‘I’m not speaking to nobodies these days’ [Sporting News]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• When you want news regarding status penis, you come to the Sportress! In retrospect, I probably should have thought a bit more about it before putting the previous motto on my business cards, but oh well. Despite being embroiled in a sex scandal, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi commissioned the repair of a statue featuring the Roman gods Mars and Venus, a restoration which included attaching a brand-spanking new penis on Mars. Penises on statues were frequently cut off in Rome, either to be treasured as souvenirs or via the hands of prudish Christians. [Yahoo!/AFP]
• Ron Artest is still talking about trying out for the NFL after his NBA career is over. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Hoo boy, the Eva Longoria-Tony Parker divorce could get prettay prettay prettay messy. [Rumors & Rants]
• The strict conditions which had to be met for Tiger Woods to agree to appear on Mike & Mike yesterday. Well, not really, but these are funny. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Matt Millen: still an idiot. [Awful Announcing]
• If you happen to be in the market for a Wayne Gretzky doll sans pants, you’re in luck: you can get one on eBay. [The Last Angry Fan]
• In light of the Parker-Longoria split, here’s a look back at some other high profile athlete divorces. [I'm Taking My Talents]
• Do the Giants have a chance in hell of beating the Eagles? The New York Post doesn’t seem to think so. [TheWizWit]
• Time for another edition of the KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. Today: finding the right drunk for you. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Ouch: “Flames GM Sutter tries to deal wife for Avery’s sloppy seconds.” [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Horrified Man Looks On Powerlessly As He Ruins Date
Yesterday, the Sportress thrilled you with a behind-the-scenes look at the photo shoot of when Lindsay Vonn vamped it up as Sharon Stone’s character from Basic Instinct. Today, while not as sexy – at least for must of us – comes Buffalo Sabres netminder Ryan Miller doing his best Carl Spackler from Caddyshack impression. While he does pretty well and all, if the editors of ESPN The Magazine were committed to doing a re-creation of a character portrayed by Bill Murray, why not Ernie McCracken? That would have been kick ass, with the wild and crazy hair and all. Or better yet, how about Jack Corcoran from Larger than Life, one of Murray’s more underrated films? Yeah, that would have been awesome. Except for having to hire an elephant. They can be finicky bastards. And damn expensive, too.
[H/T Devil Ball Golf]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Harsh: the New York Islanders pulled a popular blogger’s press credentials. [Puck Daddy]
• Best of luck to my pal Ryan Ballengee as he embarks on his new golf site at NBCSports.com! [Waggle Room]
• Congratulations to Felix Hernandez on winning the Cy Young Award. [Walkoff Walk]
• The Atlanta Braves have a trainer named Ty Cobbs in its minor league system. [Smart Ass Sports]
• Cam Newton is guilty…of something. [Rumors & Rants]
• Nice Speedo, U.S. soccer fan. [Busted Coverage]
• Cool time-lapse video of Yankee Stadium’s conversion to a football field. [Bob's Blitz]
• Channing Frye, rocking the Snuggie. [Ted Williams Head]
• Yay! LOLNFL Week 10! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Brilliant: “Knee diagnosed with rare and terminal case of Greg Oden.” [TAUNTR]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Rare Autographed Portrait Of Jesus Purchased At Estate Sale
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Unbelievable. When are the students of Harvard and Yale ever going to catch a break?
Sadly, it will not be this coming weekend, when the Yale and Harvard football teams face each other in Cambridge, Massachusetts for the 127th time in its long-running and overrated rivalry, famously known as “The Game.” You see, despite a campaign initiated by two Harvard students called Silence Yale (via the movement’s Facebook page: “We all know what Yale sounds like: failure. During the upcoming Game, Cambridge cannot afford to endure the noise pollution produced by so many whining Harvard rejects” – some 2,000 vuvuzelas which have been previously sold to Harvard fans will not be allowed into the stadium as they have been unceremoniously banned, courtesy of a knee-jerk decision handed down by Harvard administrators (via the New York Daily News):
Harsh. Not to be outdone, Yale students produced 300 vuvuzelas emblazoned with the phrase “Harvard Blows,” but unfortunately, all we be for naught due to the ban. Now, instead of the stadium being overrun by the irritating noise emanating from vuvuzelas, the noise pollution instead will be the incessant drone of WASP-y snobs blathering on and on about trust funds, the Ivy League and whatever the hell else rich people talk about at football games. Grey Poupon for their hot dogs, maybe? I don’t know.
Vuvuzelas banned at Harvard-Yale game after students on both campuses make specialty noisemakers [New York Daily News]
Breaking: Beginning today, all decisions and headlines issued via ESPN Media Zone will have to be approved by ESPN’s Department of Redundancy Department.
I know, I know, this is my second “Fun With Headlines” post of the day, but I couldn’t pass this one up. This particular headline is about as enlightening as the “Concussions Should Be Taken Seriously” headline I noted earlier this month.
To paraphrase Emmitt Smith, the cunning linguist who was once employed by ESPN, my mind is completely blowed. I’m not kidding, if my brain was any more blowed out, it would be sitting on my desk, brain functions none and void, by this doozy of an informative headline.
Jimmy V Week for Cancer Research Raises Awareness for Cancer Research [ESPN Media Zone]
An incredibly enlightening interview with the lovely, talented and ambitious Miss Kournikova. I learned a lot, not just about the gorgeous Russian, but little bit about myself as well.
The weird part? The speakers on my computer don’t even work. Even weirder? When I finished watching the video, my pants turned up missing. Although to be perfectly honest, I’m not entirely sure I was wearing pants in the first place.
Strange stuff.
Video: Five questions with tennis star Anna Kournikova [USA Today]
At least that’s how I am interpreting it. Either that, or Toews has become a natural gas huffer, which seems like a dangerous thing to do despite the way it fuels Toews towards excellence on the ice. And I imagine that’s the kind of news the Blackhawks organization would not like that kind of stinky information being let out, no matter how much of a relief it would entail.
At the same time, my mind might not be in the right place at this moment, what with the four bean burritos I ate for lunch. The fact I did so next to a leaky propane tank probably didn’t help, either.
Natural gas does the trick [Chicago Sun-Times]
Bernard Hopkins, an incredibly talented, highly successful fighter in his own right, believes that an African-American fighter’s style would present a far more difficult challenge than the one Antonio Margarito presented to Manny Pacquiao last weekend. Because of this, Hopkins believes Mayweather would beat Pacquiao were they ever to fight. And as far as a potential fight between these two is concerned, considering the many attempts to nail down a bout between the two, who knows if that will ever happen.
Via ESPN:
“Floyd Mayweather would beat Manny Pacquiao because the styles that African-American fighters — and I mean, black fighters from the streets or the inner cities — would be successful,” said Hopkins, according to Fanhouse.com. “I think Floyd Mayweather would pot-shot Pacquiao and bust him up in between the four-to-five punches that Pacquiao throws and then set him up later on down the line.”
Pacquaio fought and defeated Joshua Clottey of Ghana earlier this year, but Hopkins discounted that win, saying “Clottey is ‘black,’ but not a ‘black boxer’ from the states with a slick style.”
Huh. You know, as someone who is by no means a knowledgeable student of the sweet science by any stretch (among other things), I don’t think I should be talking about this. So I won’t.
Hopkins: Manny Pacquiao beatable [ESPN]
Well, to be perfectly honest, I cannot say for certain that JoePa nearly pooped his pants when he heard about the U.S. House Resolution which was passed on Wednesday commemorating his 400th win two weeks ago over Northwestern, nor would it be responsible to speculate that if he had in fact defecated in his pants that the news would have been the cause of it. Because he’s old, and old people jokes never get, um, old.
Moving on, via ESPN/AP:
Pennsylvania Congressman Glenn Thompson sponsored the resolution. He says it was appropriate to express support not only for Paterno’s record, but the coach’s overall achievements on and off the field.
Thompson’s district encompasses State College. Thirty-one representatives also signed on as co-sponsors, including Pennsylvania’s 18 other U.S. House members.
Oh, I see how it is: this is simply yet another demonstration of the sycophantic behavior typical of today’s modern politician. All this Thompson fellow is doing is attempting to further ingratiate himself to his constituents by wasting valuable government time and dollars. What’s up next for this Thompson fellow? Sponsoring a resolution granting diplomatic immunity to Penn State mascots? The times, my friends, they are a-changin’.
Joe Paterno lauded by Congress [ESPN/AP]
Dolphins players in uniforms and chicks in painted-on Dolphins jerseys? I would be so there. If I happened to be in Miami. And didn’t have a strictly-enforced curfew. Sigh.
Anyhoo, on Friday, November 19th, Miami nightclub e.s.s.o. will be the locale of something called the “Miami Dolphins Takeover” party. Featuring music by Emperor Searcy (who?) and Posterchild J-One (what?), the hip and happening club will be the place to be for the downtown Miami partying public. I’m putting the over-under on arrests at 18.
Just remember, guys get in for free until 11:00 p.m. while girls can get in at no charge until 11:30. Transgendered individuals? My guess would be 11:15, but don’t quote me on that.
For those of you planning to attend the “Takeover,” I am sorry, but there appears to be no mention of whether or not you have to wear a “collard shirt” so you are pretty much on your own in that regard.
(via)
No, not LeBron, LeVon, as in Barry Sagittarius’ partner in crime in pudding-related sensuality. $240 worth of pudding, that is. Awww, yeah.
After exploding for a season-high 35 points last night, Chris Bosh, the metaphorical Fifth Beatle on the Miami Heat triumvirate (yes, I understand that you can’t be the fifth member of a group which has only three members, but work with me), waxed eloquently during an interview with ESPN’s Heather Cox regarding the differences in opinion which can be found between how Heat coach Erik Spoelstra likes to approach to practice and how he and his teammates would prefer them to go.
From ESPN (via Larry Brown Sports):
Heather Cox: Coach Spoelstra said over the last three days it’s been like training camp, really taken you guys back to the beginning. What was the biggest message he sent during those three days of hard practices?
Chris Bosh: The practice — we got back to getting after it again. I guess he felt that he was loosening it up just a little bit too much and he knows that he has to meet us half way. He wants to work, we want to chill, but we’re going to have to work in order to get everything down and get our timing down and get our chemistry down.
In other words, what Chris Bosh and company would prefer to do is go out on the court every night, cook, and then they chill. Awww, yeah.
But I know what you’re thinking, Chris and LeBron (and Dwyane), how do you expect to compete every night by only cooking during games and then chilling?
Shhhhh…don’t worry your pretty little head about it. It ain’t your concern.
For those of you out there uninitiated in the splendor that was The State, Barry & LeVon goodness follows.
