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Soccer

Headline: Bust A Nut While Watching FC Barcelona, a/k/a the ‘Orgasm Team’

La Liga, more like La Uhhhhh-ga, amirite?

On Barcelona’s 5-0 thrashing of Madrid (via The Guardian):

Even the clinically obsessed Marca, while whining a bit about the referee, admitted that Barcelona had been “too MOUch for Madrid.” Roberto Gómez described it as “intolerable”, the “most ridiculous thing this century” – and he wasn’t talking about one of his ‘articles’. He was talking about Madrid. But it wasn’t just about Madrid; it was about Barcelona producing what Santi Segurola described as “a symphony” – one of the most extraordinary displays anyone could remember AS declared Barcelona “still miles ahead of Madrid”. Inside, Santi Giménez – who should probably seek medical advice – was having a “blue and red orgasm”. Prompted by Xavi’s claim that beating Madrid was like a spot of carnal bliss, both Sport and El Mundo Deportivo followed suit, leaping from the Dream Team to the Wet Dream Team. Barcelona, they declared, are the “Orgasm Team”.

A blue and red orgasm? That doesn’t sound good. Nope, not at all. Frankly, isn’t a “blue and red orgasm” just a more pleasant way of referring to someone in the throes of autoerotic asphyxiation?

To be honest, I originally came to the conclusion that I should be watching more soccer, but after thinking about it, I think I’d rather pass. The ghost of Michael Hutchence would probably agree.

Barcelona, the ‘Orgasm Team’, win another epoch-defining clásico [The Guardian]

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