Archive for October, 2010
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
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• Check out LeBron’s new douchey Nike ad. [The Basketball Jones]
• NERDS!! Quidditch may become an officially-sanctioned NCAA sport. [Out of Bounds]
• Oh, snap! After picking off the beleaguered Bears QB four times yesterday, DeAngelo Hall said Jay Cutler doesn’t understand the game of football. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Some hilarious “Sad Ryan Howard” photoshops. [TAUNTR]
• By doubling his workload, Gus Johnson set up to be the voice of the Big Ten Network. [Awful Announcing]
• Golfer playing in a tournament in China gets bitten by snake, finishes her round. [Waggle Room]
• Alexander Ovechkin wishes they all could be Yekaterinburg Girls. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Awesome video of Michael Del Zotto of the New York Rangers breaking a camera with a puck. [Bob's Blitz]
• The Houston Texans cheerleader’s Halloween party appeared to be quite the boozy affair. [Busted Coverage]
• Just back from hiatus, Sergio Garcia misses cut, appears to hate golf again. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Rams RB Stephen Jackson undergoes finger surgery, has a good sense of humor about it. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Yard Sign With Candidate’s Name On It Electrifies Congressional Race
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
It’s a good gig if you can get it: because he played for the San Francisco Giants this season up until June 30th when was traded to the Texas Rangers for for relief pitcher Chris Ray and a player to be named later, which ended up being minor league pitcher Michael Main, catcher Bengie Molina will get a championship ring regardless of the outcome of the World Series, which begins Wednesday night. Via ESPN/AP:
“I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s going to be a very happy, weird feeling,” said Molina, the catcher who was traded from San Francisco to Texas this season. “Just weird because I played there for 3½ years, and to wear another color in that stadium.”
“It’s going to be a very happy World Series for Bengie Molina. I’m going to try to enjoy it as much as I can.”
Boy, that’s like having your cake and eating it too, or maybe it isn’t. To be honest, that saying has never made a lick of sense to me – what’s the point of having a cake if you can’t eat it, so how’s that so great? Unless it’s one of those amazing creations made by that Ace of Cakes guy, then I could see just having a cake would be pretty cool. Huh.
You know what? Forget that saying. Instead, how about Bengie Molina’s fortuitous situation is like eating White Castle and not getting wicked bad gas? Yeah, that’s better. Very odorous imagery, if I do say so myself.
Bengie Molina gets a ring for sure [ESPN/AP]
I mean, what other reason could there be? Whether it be for attention, the thrill, hunger, or in Sean Murphy’s case, as a whacked-out promotional stunt for the pet store he works at and to raise money for a charity, any person who willingly shoves a bunch of friggin’ cockroaches into their mouth has got at least a few screws loose.
With his accomplishment Sunday of putting 16 Madagascar hissing cockroaches in his mouth at once and holding them in there for 10 seconds, Murphy, who works at Preuss Pets in Lansing, Michigan, not only raised money for something called the Harris Nature Center, is also submitting paperwork to Guinness World Records in the hopes of owning the world record simply from doing something certifiably disgusting. Aim high.
Murphy credits the atmosphere for his ability to successfully stifle his gag reflex. Via the Detroit Free Press:
That’s a good thing, too, because this is already the second time Murphy has attempted the stunt. He did the same thing last year but lacked the documentation necessary to have it regarded as a world record. Yeah, that’s something I would have looked into prior to cramming cockroaches in my mouth.
To be honest, I haven’t been so impressed and simultaneously disturbed by seeing a person put that many roaches in their mouth at once since I was hanging out backstage at a Cypress Hill concert. Crazy insane, got no brain and so on and so forth.
Cockroaches send man into record territory [Detroit Free Press]
Breathtaking scenes, like the one above from the closing ceremonies 2000 Summer Games in Sydney, might be a thing of the past if the Sri Lankan national Olympic committee has their way. You see, fireworks are bad for the environment and stuff and as Maxwell De Silva, secretary general of the Sri Lakan Olympic committee, puts it, that’s hypocritical somehow.
There are great ideas and then there are outstandingly great ideas, and FOX’s decision to bring Ozzie Guillen back for his second go-round as analyst for the World Series is definitely in the latter category. The bombastic, opinionated and unpredictable White Sox manager will be working both the pregame and postgame shows with Eric Karros and Chris Rose as well as in-game analyst for the first five innings for FOX Deportes before switching over to working between Joe Buck and Tim McCarver in the latter innings of games. It’s most certainly going to be a hoot. How can you not like Ozzie Guillen? We need more guys like him in sports: passionate, unafraid, honest and doesn’t give a crap what anyone else thinks.
You may recall that last year, Guillen served in a similar capacity and didn’t have one blow-up or drop one accidental F-bomb, but I imagine the guys in the trailer will have their itchy trigger fingers on the mute button anytime Guillen gets going on a rant. I know I would.
Guillen to again serve as Fox analyst for Series [Chicago Breaking Sports]
Egad, would you look at that? All I know is I’m shocked that having those two in the same place at the same time didn’t set into motion the formation of a black hole of egomania which, when formed, would have ensnared and devoured all the things that somehow remain good, modest and likable about the modern professional athlete, because you would have to look far and wide to find two guys who are more universally despised by the contemporary sports-loving public.
This photo, according to TMZ, was taken at the “grand opening of the Arkadia at the Fontainebleau Hotel on Saturday night to attend Drake’s 24th birthday party,” (I hate the Drake) and it has been reported that the Dynamic Duo of Douchiness partied until 1:00 a.m., imbibing themselves on Grey Goose La Poire vodka. Nice. If we’re lucky, A-Rod advised LeBron on the wonderfully tacky brilliance of commissioning paintings of yourself depicted as a centaur.
A-Rod Mourns Playoff Loss with LeBron [TMZ]
Awesome. Now, to add some perspective and real world relevance to this post, here’s the deal: if your baby resembles the adorable little bugger in the above photo, it can mean one of two things:
a) Your baby is – or more accurately, you are – a huge Chris “Birdman” Andersen fan; or
b) You might want to get the kid a checkup at the pediatrician, because there’s a pretty good chance your baby has hepatitis.
One of those two for sure. Either way, that is great. Well done, parents.
[H/T The Basketball Jones]
Dear. Lord. That is one frightening image. And just in time for Halloween, too. Do you think anyone would get it if I dressed up as everybody’s favorite Around the Horn panelist dressed up as a Raiders fan? Yeah, I doubt it, too.
But there he was, Woody Paige, posing as a face-painting Raiders fan for a piece of intrepid reporting about the hostility Broncos fans act towards the die-hards who follow their most hated rivals while tailgating outside Mile High Stadium. What bravery. What journalistosity, or some other made up word.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and tales of the brave acts of valor you have committed for your beloved pet to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Edwin Fry, 73, of Hydro, Oklahoma would do just about anything for his pooch, Buddy Tough. And that fact was proven on October 13th when Fry drove his lawnmower down to the local pound and instead of paying the $100 fine related to a violation of the city’s leash law, broke his dog out of the pound by using bolt cutters to open up the cage Buddy Tough was locked in. Fry spent several days in jail and while in the joint, Buddy Tough was euthanized. Poor Buddy Tough. [Yahoo!/AP]
• The Oakland Raiders scored 59 points? That’s kooky talk! [Shutdown Corner]
• DeMar DeRozan’s finger doesn’t look good here. [Tirico Suave]
• And Yao Ming looks bored (or sleepy) here. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Yeah, you could say DeAngelo Hall had a good game against the Bears yesterday. Or you could say that Jay Cutler sucks. Either way. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Ladies and gentlemen, wheelchair fencing. [Out of Bounds]
• Here’s video of a dude wearing a diaper robbing a liquor store because, well, just because. [Bob's Blitz]
• This is why interviewing drunk fans is a bad idea. [Busted Coverage]
• Maria Sharapova: still attractive. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Joakim Noah’s house looks pretty much exactly like you would expect it to look. [The Last Angry Fan]
• Shaq to transform into Shaquita for Halloween. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Boy Believed To Be Next Reincarnation Of Regional KFC Manager Discovered In Chatfield, MN
Ah yes, what a wonderful way to wrap up another week here at the Sportress: with some corn-fed, country-fried goodness from my down home buddy, Jimmy Joe. He’s the who’s who of NASCAR video previewers, and that’s saying something, folks.
Have a great weekend, everyone. See you back here at the Sportress on Monday.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Jesus Christ, who in their right minds thought it would be a good idea to let Steven Tyler sing the national anthem before the Bruins game? [Puck Daddy]
• So, Jay Mariotti deleted his Twitter account… [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
• Big news in D.C.: Alex Ovehckin AND Testudo the Turtle, Maryland’s mascot, both are in SportsCenter commercials. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• Barack Obama retweeted Carmelo Anthony. Yep. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• It’s nice to know that someone other than me cannot take that goddamn Kid Rock song TBS has been playing incessantly any longer. [Bugs & Cranks]
• Mexican clowns set nightmare record. [With Leather]
• In case you missed it, the NFL doesn’t care about punters. [TAUNTR]
• This week’s lesson in Ottiquette deals with the handshake. [Melt Your Face Off]
• ESPN burns Cleveland, Marvel Comics-style. [Out of Bounds]
• Butter Chicken has got a beef and he’s going to let you know about it. [Food Court Lunch]
• A worthy rant regarding the inbred goofballs who call into New York City sports talk radio. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• One of my favorite features: DSB answers John Clayton’s mailbag. [Daddy's Sugar Ball]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Magazine: Larry Flynt Says ‘Cooze’ Way More Than We’re Comfortable With
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
To raise money for breast cancer awareness, Seattle-area high school football referees used pink whistles and donated their game checks to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure organization. Classy, right? A brilliant way to increase awareness, is it not? Unfortunately, despite their admirable and selfless actions, the referees who made this wonderful gesture are now in hot water with the Washington Officials Association because they didn’t ask for permission to use the pink whistles and because of that, were subsequently in violation of the association’s rules regarding appropriate uniforms. They are now subject to a two-game suspension, so says the Washington Officials Association Chair Todd Stordahl (via King5, which also has a video report):
“They chose not to ask for permission, not to go the right route,” said Stordahl. He says the move sets a precedent. Last year, a softball umpire wore a Hawaiian shirt. Stardahl says there are state official rules for what is an appropriate uniform and this particular association disregarded the rules.
“It sends the wrong message to kids that are playing the game. ‘If they broke the rules why can’t I do the same,’” said Stardahl.
Un-friggin’-believable. Yeah, that’s what this is all about: Hawaiian shirts and kids being sent the wrong message. You know, like how selfless acts for the greater good should be punished simply because of the nuances related to a draconian set of rules and an association’s insistence of strict adherence. What a colossal asshat of an organization for the Simply reprehensible manner in which they have handled this situation up to this point. Hopefully, a backlash will cause these idiots to rethink their position.
High school refs may be penalized for pink whistles [KING5]
Justice has been meted out and an offer of dinner has been proffered, so I guess you could say the whole Rick Rypien-James Engquist kerfuffle is all tied up in a pretty little bow, right?
So, let’s take a quick inventory: Vancouver Canucks goon Rick Rypien has been suspended six games by the NHL for going after the now most famous Minnesota Wild fan ever in the stands during Tuesday’s Canucks-Wild game at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul. Engquist, for his part in the drama, received a heartwarming, apologetic and in Engquist’s words, “classy, amazing, very respectful” phone call from The Commish himself, Gary Bettman. Said Engquist (via the Pioneer Press):
“I told him straight up, ‘I love the NHL, Gary. It’s my passion of all sports; anyone who knows me knows it’s definitely the No. 1 sport I follow.’
“He said ‘I would like to treat you to a game and dinner.’ I said that sounds cool, OK.”
There is much to left unsettled regarding the incident – Engquist has not hired a lawyer yet and is still weighing his options, but isn’t Bettman’s offer of dinner and a game so stereotypically NHL? Wow, a meal and a ticket? Way to go all out for a guy who was accosted by of your league’s resident nutjobs. The only thing that could improve that outstanding, breaking-the-bank offer is if Bettman is personally going to take Enguist out for some grub and accompany Engquist to the game. I can only imagine how what Bettman’s table manners are like, let alone the enlightening conversation which would ensue at dinner. I bet it would be a regular Algonquin round table at that table…which I suspect would be a corner booth located inside the White Castle at the intersection of University and Lexington in St. Paul.
Hey, sliders are the best. I’d most definitely take Bettman up on that offer. Wouldn’t you?
Canucks’ Rypien suspended for 6 games [FOX Sports]
Shooter Now: Man grabbed at Wild game gets call from NHL commissioner [Pioneer Press]
Craig Anderson, now with the Avalanche, cannot believe a division rival is pulling this stunt
Stating that the move will add “a little extra spice and sparkle,” Edmonton Oilers President and CEO Patrick LaForge announced Thursday that the team is in the process of assembling a cheerleading squad. Big news indeed, as the Oilers are bucking tradition, becoming the first NHL team in Canada to have their own cheerleading team.
The yet unnamed Oilers cheerleading team – how about “The Lubes”? – will perform around Rexall Place before games and during breaks in play and according to the team’s website, “entertain and lift the spirits of the Edmonton Oilers community.” Oh, they’ll be lifting the spirits, alright. And by “lifting spirits,” I of course mean that they will inspire fans to rally around the team. Duh.
At long last, the legal case involving Sean Hagan, better known as Philly Red Man, has been brought to a resolution after the 17-year-old folk hero was sentenced to 80 hours of community service today in Family Court. You may recall the Philly Red Man’s rapid rise to fame after he stormed the field at Citizens Bank Park in September wearing red spandex full-body suit. It sure was a hoot, but not as amusing as when he was released from jail into the custody of his parents the next day – still wearing the body suit. I only hope his community service somehow involves Hagan wearing his hilarious getup, although I am unsure what kind of community service that would be. Huh. Drawing a blank here.
Hopefully, young Sean has learned a valuable lesson after going through this ordeal. And that lesson should be: 80 hours of community service and getting grounded by your parents is more than a fair exchange for instant fame and worldwide adulation. It’s the American way, really.
Phillies fan, 17, sentenced for running onto field [Sporting News/AP]
(previously at the Sportress: Philly Red Man Released From Jail To Parents, Likely Sent To Bed Without Supper)
