Wake N’ Blog is the Sportess of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and ways tattoos have gotten you identified by police to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Joseph Eric Williams, 19, is in the custody of the Broward County Sheriff’s Department after a string of robberies of AT&T stores in Florida after the tattoo on his forehead, which read “I’m Me,” led authorities right to him. Unfortunately, his alleged accomplice, who had a tattoo on his forehead which read “I’m With Stupid” is still at large. [MSNBC]

• Here’s the audio from the Pat McAfee 911 call that got the Colts punter arrested. [Busted Coverage]

• Watch Mark Schlereth go completely apes**t over the new NFL fines. [Awful Announcing]

• Bengals offensive coordinator Mike Zimmer on Bobby Petrino: he’s a gutless coward. [Larry Brown Sports]

• TAUNTR goes inside the illegal NBA shoe. Not literally, of course. That would be one huge shoe. [TAUNTR]

• A losing Peruvian soccer squad allegedly poisoned their opponents, then blamed it on chicken. [Out of Bounds]

• You know what? Maybe James Harrison and Channing Crowder should put their money where there mouths are and go ahead and retire. [Rumors & Rants]

• Behind the scenes at UFC girl Arianny Celeste’s Playboy shoot. [Bob's Blitz]

• NSFWednesday is back, baby! Click through and be disturbed. [Melt Your Face Off]

• Lamar Odom is going into the fragrance business? [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• The Onion Headline of the Day: Area Grasshopper Kind Of A Thorax Man Himself